This is the first time I have been in a chat room about drinking. It is unfortunate that there isn't more oppurtunities for this type of healing. I truely need help. I don't know where to begin...so I will begin with the fact that I am an alcoholic. I drink about 50 ounces of wine a day. I think about drinking all day and I have been drinking for the past 10 years in extreme doses. I drink even more on the weekends. I love prescription drugs and weed too. Although I do not regularly use those substances. I am so sad all of the time. I am a pretty and vey intelligent female who hides her addiction in order to persuade others that I am perfect. The funny thing is, I am only perfect when I am drunk. I know it is hard to understand, but I am funnier, sharper, sexier...or so I think. It is the worst s***...I need help.
Dear absolute,
You sound very much like myself. I feel the same way. When I finally got tired of it all I started seeking recovery. I guess I am still seeking.
I am on suboxone for pain pill abuse and am at present controlling my drinking but I am on a slippery slope and I know it.
You have made the first step. Talking about it out loud.
For that I commend you. More will show up to offer advice. Hang in there
Wendy
You sound very much like myself. I feel the same way. When I finally got tired of it all I started seeking recovery. I guess I am still seeking.
I am on suboxone for pain pill abuse and am at present controlling my drinking but I am on a slippery slope and I know it.
You have made the first step. Talking about it out loud.
For that I commend you. More will show up to offer advice. Hang in there
Wendy
Gidday Absolute
Alcohol was my confidance, my friend, my fun and then it turned on me and i kept chasing the good times till i realised it was all sh*t and i wanted to die for real.
I could not imagine a life without the feel good of alcohol.
I had a bottle of poison and i was off to get more beer to drink with it instead i stopped at a phone and called for help.
Good on you Absolute for the courage to change and suss out any local AA meetings in your area and keep posting
Light and love Zac
Alcohol was my confidance, my friend, my fun and then it turned on me and i kept chasing the good times till i realised it was all sh*t and i wanted to die for real.
I could not imagine a life without the feel good of alcohol.
I had a bottle of poison and i was off to get more beer to drink with it instead i stopped at a phone and called for help.
Good on you Absolute for the courage to change and suss out any local AA meetings in your area and keep posting
Light and love Zac
Hi,
That's not hard to understand at all. I know what you mean. Drunk me thinks that it is the real me, that is the me I want to be, the other sober one is boring. Drunk me loves the danger, living on the edge, loves the night time, loves trekking the streets, loves to pop in and out of peoples lives, talk to strangers, be free, go wherever it feels like going, stay up all night, play with oblivion............shame it's all an illusion eh!!
That shows the delusion of it all aswell. In reality I ended up a depressed drunk in a heap on the floor crying all the time, and I don't really know why.
You are fine without the booze, in time I hope you can learn that. I am trying to see that about myself. I think we have to accept ourselves as we are rather than some illusion of ourselves.
Glad you are on board. Hopefully we can help you sober up.
Love Lacey.
That's not hard to understand at all. I know what you mean. Drunk me thinks that it is the real me, that is the me I want to be, the other sober one is boring. Drunk me loves the danger, living on the edge, loves the night time, loves trekking the streets, loves to pop in and out of peoples lives, talk to strangers, be free, go wherever it feels like going, stay up all night, play with oblivion............shame it's all an illusion eh!!
That shows the delusion of it all aswell. In reality I ended up a depressed drunk in a heap on the floor crying all the time, and I don't really know why.
You are fine without the booze, in time I hope you can learn that. I am trying to see that about myself. I think we have to accept ourselves as we are rather than some illusion of ourselves.
Glad you are on board. Hopefully we can help you sober up.
Love Lacey.
Hi Absolute
Congrat's for taking the first step. I too am very new to all this. Four days ago I decided to stop lifting as they call it. I was scared as hell and to tell the truth I still am. Kind of have it all ..... to lose as I'm finding out and was able to function on 26 oz of wiskey a night. I stoped cold last Thursday and was worried about the health risks. I've been on this pace for 5 yrs.So far the cravings come and go and the only probs have been no sleep. I do feel much healthier though.
Good Luck
Congrat's for taking the first step. I too am very new to all this. Four days ago I decided to stop lifting as they call it. I was scared as hell and to tell the truth I still am. Kind of have it all ..... to lose as I'm finding out and was able to function on 26 oz of wiskey a night. I stoped cold last Thursday and was worried about the health risks. I've been on this pace for 5 yrs.So far the cravings come and go and the only probs have been no sleep. I do feel much healthier though.
Good Luck
Absolute,
You sound just like I used to be. It sucks doesn't it. You think you will be able to stop anytime but if it is in your presence, you are drinking it. You might not take pills a lot, but I bet if I had some, you would take them. I would. Or would have.
The way that I had to quit was to put myself in treatment. I knew that I could not stop on my own. I knew that the only way I could do it was to go somewhere that I could not get my hands on anything. ie: rehab. I can't give you any advise on how to just drop it, cause if you are anything like myself, and you sound like you are, that could kill you. One way or another you are killing yourself. If you are willing to try it out, get to some AA meetings. To your best to not pick up. It is going to take about a month before your head becomes clear again and your body starts to learn to live without alcohol. AA is a simple program helping millions around the world, everyone is there for the same reasons and everyone will help you as much as they can. Get to a meeting and make a few new friends. You will come to find that you are much better than that "perfect" person you think you are when you are drunk, when you are sober.
LL
You sound just like I used to be. It sucks doesn't it. You think you will be able to stop anytime but if it is in your presence, you are drinking it. You might not take pills a lot, but I bet if I had some, you would take them. I would. Or would have.
The way that I had to quit was to put myself in treatment. I knew that I could not stop on my own. I knew that the only way I could do it was to go somewhere that I could not get my hands on anything. ie: rehab. I can't give you any advise on how to just drop it, cause if you are anything like myself, and you sound like you are, that could kill you. One way or another you are killing yourself. If you are willing to try it out, get to some AA meetings. To your best to not pick up. It is going to take about a month before your head becomes clear again and your body starts to learn to live without alcohol. AA is a simple program helping millions around the world, everyone is there for the same reasons and everyone will help you as much as they can. Get to a meeting and make a few new friends. You will come to find that you are much better than that "perfect" person you think you are when you are drunk, when you are sober.
LL
I appreciate the responses to my thread..it is nice to talk to other people going through the same thing. I went to the doctor today and she told me that I can not quit cold turkey. She said I need to check myself into rehab. I am not willing. I am going to ween myself off of alcohol. I got myself here and am willing to get myself off. I know some need to be in rehab. I actually think rehab is the best choice but not my choice. Today I had two beers. I don't like beer so much so it was easy to not have more. I plan to ween myself off in the next two weeks and then get on some meds. I feel ok today on two beers. I am not drunk not even a buzz. I kinda feel empty. Kinda like I am unfulfilled. It's like a hungry person taking a couple of bites of food....damn, you would still be hungry. Hopefully this works for me. Also, my doctor gave me Xanax for 30 days in order to help...she wants me to go to rehab in this time...honestly, I doubt that I will go.
absolute
Try zero I know it's hard. Just got off the phone with my d/dad. TRIGGER. I have a fully stocked bar. I want just 1 beer sooo bad but I want to feel happy for real. Just one more day.
I'm affraid to admit to AA
Try zero I know it's hard. Just got off the phone with my d/dad. TRIGGER. I have a fully stocked bar. I want just 1 beer sooo bad but I want to feel happy for real. Just one more day.
I'm affraid to admit to AA
