My husband has asked me to get help for my drinking. He sent me this web site. He suggests I call and speak to a professional. I have registered to write this note and I did read all the postings.... They sounded a lot like me. I don't want to drink and after a few days... There I go and do it again. My husband is tiered of it. My question is: Is it as simple as a choice to drink or not? I think I choose to drink, why don't I just make the choice not to. Any advice?
have you looked into aa meetings. the obsession and compulsion that goes with addiction leaves you without a defense. my ex would speak about going to meetings and within a couple of hours he was drunk. the first step is admitting you are powerless and that your life is unmanageable. i am not responsible for my addiction but i am responsible for my recovery. all you need to worry about is one day at a time, 24 hrs at a time. focus on the present. i would really encourage you to go a aa meeting, and you will see you are not alone. you dont have to do this alone and you dont have to drink today.
(((hugs to you)))
carol
(((hugs to you)))
carol
I did not drink yesterday! I hope not to again today. I dont think Ive ever really tried to not drink. I like to drink (wine, my drug of choice). However, my husband has been sober for over one year. Interesting enough Ive been very supportive for him and hiding my drinking. Yeh, right drink before he gets home from work and pretend Im fine. NOT WORKING!
I did look into aa meetings. The one closest to me says its C closed for alcoholics. Im all new at this; guess I should just call and say hey, Im new and can I come in?
I liked your words I am responsible for my recovery. Thank you and for the ((hug)).
I did look into aa meetings. The one closest to me says its C closed for alcoholics. Im all new at this; guess I should just call and say hey, Im new and can I come in?
I liked your words I am responsible for my recovery. Thank you and for the ((hug)).
Day 3 and still going strong...(sober). I'm heading into the weekend feeling very confident that I will not drink. Let's see.....
Hi Chance
I was told if I dont pick up that first drink then I cant get drunk.
The main problem of the alcoholic centres in his mind, rather than in his body. Once I have that first drink it sets up a physical craving in me where one drinks to many and fifty drinks is not enough.
Also when I have that first drink I develop a mental obsession where all I can think about is alcohol and where I can get the next drink.
So the thing is not to have that first drink. Simple but not easy. My problem wasnt stopping drinking .It was stopping from starting. The only place that was able to help me with that was Alcoholics Anonymous.
Hearing other alcoholics sharing there experience, strength and hope.
Though some may need outside counselling. When you say you choose to drink. I believe we lose the option of choice. A little saying.
First the man-woman takes a drink. Then the drink takes a drink. Then the drink takes the man-woman.
May be if you ring Alcoholics Anonymous they will advise you of other meetings that are around your area. And will be able to help you with any other inquiries you may have.
You will be welcome at the closed meeting and I am sure someone there would also be able to help. Hope all goes well for you. please keep in contact.
Your Wanted, Needed and Loved .God Bless
I was told if I dont pick up that first drink then I cant get drunk.
The main problem of the alcoholic centres in his mind, rather than in his body. Once I have that first drink it sets up a physical craving in me where one drinks to many and fifty drinks is not enough.
Also when I have that first drink I develop a mental obsession where all I can think about is alcohol and where I can get the next drink.
So the thing is not to have that first drink. Simple but not easy. My problem wasnt stopping drinking .It was stopping from starting. The only place that was able to help me with that was Alcoholics Anonymous.
Hearing other alcoholics sharing there experience, strength and hope.
Though some may need outside counselling. When you say you choose to drink. I believe we lose the option of choice. A little saying.
First the man-woman takes a drink. Then the drink takes a drink. Then the drink takes the man-woman.
May be if you ring Alcoholics Anonymous they will advise you of other meetings that are around your area. And will be able to help you with any other inquiries you may have.
You will be welcome at the closed meeting and I am sure someone there would also be able to help. Hope all goes well for you. please keep in contact.
Your Wanted, Needed and Loved .God Bless
good. keep it up. well I cant say anything ill start over tomorrow. and my hubby he's sick if it to if i dont stop im going to loss him man its hard
Im new to the board but an old friend to the disease. Chance, recovery is a lifetime decision.Getting "into" the program is the greatest committment that you can make. I have been in and out of AA for a long time. At first never listening but always drinking. Now Im not drinking but forever listening. It may take a while to find "your" meeting but dont give up. When you give up, you give in. This disease is a dangerous place to be alone. Keep comin' back
Thanks for the all the words of wisdom. I did not drink yesterday and in a few hours today will be done.
Everything you said Sober2day was sooooooooooo true and soooooooooo me!
Im just like that.. or are we all? I think Im okay if I dont have that first drink. This new process will teach me.
But I know if I do; nothing with alcohol in it is safe around me and never enough. The last time I drank; last Tuesday night One bottle of wine was not enough; so I told my husband I was going to take a bath and took a split (smaller bottle) of wine into the bathroom and locked the door.
Everything you said Sober2day was sooooooooooo true and soooooooooo me!
Im just like that.. or are we all? I think Im okay if I dont have that first drink. This new process will teach me.
But I know if I do; nothing with alcohol in it is safe around me and never enough. The last time I drank; last Tuesday night One bottle of wine was not enough; so I told my husband I was going to take a bath and took a split (smaller bottle) of wine into the bathroom and locked the door.
Hi Chance have you seen this Questionnaire before.Hope it's not to long ,but lets know what you think of it.
IS A.A. FOR YOU?
Only you can decide whether you want to give A.A.a try
whether you think it can help you.
We who are in A.A. came because we finally gave up trying to control our drinking. We still hated to admit that we could never drink safely. Then we heard from other A.A. members that we were sick. (We thought so for years!) We found out that many people suffered from the same feelings of guilt and loneliness and hopelessness that we did. We found out that we had these feelings because we had the disease of alcoholism.
We decided to try and face up to what alcohol had done to us. Here are some of the questions we tried to answer honestly. If we answered YES to four or more questions, we were in deep trouble with our drinking. See how you do. Remember, there is no disgrace in facing up to the fact that you have a problem.
Answer YES or NO to the following questions
1 - Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?
Most of us in A.A. made all kinds of promises to ourselves and to our families. We could not keep them. Then we came to A.A. A.A. said: "Just try not to drink today." (If you do not drink today, you cannot get drunk today.)
Yes No
2 - Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking-- stop telling you what to do?
In A.A. we do not tell anyone to do anything. We just talk about our own drinking, the trouble we got into, and how we stopped. We will be glad to help you, if you want us to.
Yes No
3 - Have you ever switched from one kind of drink to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting drunk?
We tried all kinds of ways. We made our drinks weak. Or just drank beer. Or we did not drink cocktails. Or only drank on weekends. You name it, we tried it. But if we drank anything with alcohol in it, we usually got drunk eventually.
Yes No
4 - Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year?
Do you need a drink to get started, or to stop shaking? This is a pretty sure sign that you are not drinking "socially."
Yes No
5 - Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?
At one time or another, most of us have wondered why we were not like most people, who really can take it or leave it.
Yes No
6 - Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year?
Be honest! Doctors say that if you have a problem with alcohol and keep on drinking, it will get worse -- never better. Eventually, you will die, or end up in an institution for the rest of your life. The only hope is to stop drinking.
Yes No
7 - Has your drinking caused trouble at home?
Before we came into A.A., most of us said that it was the people or problems at home that made us drink. We could not see that our drinking just made everything worse. It never solved problems anywhere or anytime.
Yes No
8 - Do you ever try to get "extra" drinks at a party because you do not get enough?
Most of us used to have a "few" before we started out if we thought it was going to be that kind of party. And if drinks were not served fast enough, we would go some place else to get more.
Yes No
9 - Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don't mean to?
Many of us kidded ourselves into thinking that we drank because we wanted to. After we came into A.A., we found out that once we started to drink, we couldn't stop.
Yes No
10 - Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking?
Many of us admit now that we "called in sick" lots of times when the truth was that we were hung-over or on a drunk.
Yes No
11 - Do you have "blackouts"?
A "blackout" is when we have been drinking hours or days which we cannot remember. When we came to A.A., we found out that this is a pretty sure sign of alcoholic drinking.
Yes No
12 - Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink?
Many of us started to drink because drinking made life seem better, at least for a while. By the time we got into A.A., we felt trapped. We were drinking to live and living to drink. We were sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Yes No
Did you answer YES four or more times? If so, you are probably in trouble with alcohol. Why do we say this? Because thousands of people in A.A. have said so for many years. They found out the truth about themselves the hard way.
But again, only you can decide whether you think A.A. is for you. Try to keep an open mind on the subject. If the answer is YES, we will be glad to show you how we stopped drinking ourselves. Just call.
A.A. does not promise to solve your life's problems. But we can show you how we are learning to live without drinking "one day at a time." We stay away from that "first drink." If there is no first one, there cannot be a tenth one. And when we got rid of alcohol, we found that life became much more manageable.
Every Sober Day Is A Miracle...God Bless
IS A.A. FOR YOU?
Only you can decide whether you want to give A.A.a try
whether you think it can help you.
We who are in A.A. came because we finally gave up trying to control our drinking. We still hated to admit that we could never drink safely. Then we heard from other A.A. members that we were sick. (We thought so for years!) We found out that many people suffered from the same feelings of guilt and loneliness and hopelessness that we did. We found out that we had these feelings because we had the disease of alcoholism.
We decided to try and face up to what alcohol had done to us. Here are some of the questions we tried to answer honestly. If we answered YES to four or more questions, we were in deep trouble with our drinking. See how you do. Remember, there is no disgrace in facing up to the fact that you have a problem.
Answer YES or NO to the following questions
1 - Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?
Most of us in A.A. made all kinds of promises to ourselves and to our families. We could not keep them. Then we came to A.A. A.A. said: "Just try not to drink today." (If you do not drink today, you cannot get drunk today.)
Yes No
2 - Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking-- stop telling you what to do?
In A.A. we do not tell anyone to do anything. We just talk about our own drinking, the trouble we got into, and how we stopped. We will be glad to help you, if you want us to.
Yes No
3 - Have you ever switched from one kind of drink to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting drunk?
We tried all kinds of ways. We made our drinks weak. Or just drank beer. Or we did not drink cocktails. Or only drank on weekends. You name it, we tried it. But if we drank anything with alcohol in it, we usually got drunk eventually.
Yes No
4 - Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year?
Do you need a drink to get started, or to stop shaking? This is a pretty sure sign that you are not drinking "socially."
Yes No
5 - Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?
At one time or another, most of us have wondered why we were not like most people, who really can take it or leave it.
Yes No
6 - Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year?
Be honest! Doctors say that if you have a problem with alcohol and keep on drinking, it will get worse -- never better. Eventually, you will die, or end up in an institution for the rest of your life. The only hope is to stop drinking.
Yes No
7 - Has your drinking caused trouble at home?
Before we came into A.A., most of us said that it was the people or problems at home that made us drink. We could not see that our drinking just made everything worse. It never solved problems anywhere or anytime.
Yes No
8 - Do you ever try to get "extra" drinks at a party because you do not get enough?
Most of us used to have a "few" before we started out if we thought it was going to be that kind of party. And if drinks were not served fast enough, we would go some place else to get more.
Yes No
9 - Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don't mean to?
Many of us kidded ourselves into thinking that we drank because we wanted to. After we came into A.A., we found out that once we started to drink, we couldn't stop.
Yes No
10 - Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking?
Many of us admit now that we "called in sick" lots of times when the truth was that we were hung-over or on a drunk.
Yes No
11 - Do you have "blackouts"?
A "blackout" is when we have been drinking hours or days which we cannot remember. When we came to A.A., we found out that this is a pretty sure sign of alcoholic drinking.
Yes No
12 - Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink?
Many of us started to drink because drinking made life seem better, at least for a while. By the time we got into A.A., we felt trapped. We were drinking to live and living to drink. We were sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Yes No
Did you answer YES four or more times? If so, you are probably in trouble with alcohol. Why do we say this? Because thousands of people in A.A. have said so for many years. They found out the truth about themselves the hard way.
But again, only you can decide whether you think A.A. is for you. Try to keep an open mind on the subject. If the answer is YES, we will be glad to show you how we stopped drinking ourselves. Just call.
A.A. does not promise to solve your life's problems. But we can show you how we are learning to live without drinking "one day at a time." We stay away from that "first drink." If there is no first one, there cannot be a tenth one. And when we got rid of alcohol, we found that life became much more manageable.
Every Sober Day Is A Miracle...God Bless
That was an interesting Questionnaire. No, I had not seen these questions before now.
I could answer YES to four or more of the questions.
Im not opposed to contacting AA and I have the phone number at my finger tip.
I have started listening to the BIG BOOK via the web. Im up to Bills Story. (Cut me some slack, Im just a beginner 38 yrs old and a constant drinker for 13 years; yet just a beginner here.)
I have not had a drink.(since 5/10). And Im learning a little more everyday.
Ive experienced some headaches, but have turned to Tylenol not alcohol.
I did receive an email from my husband today Ill cut and paste it here:
I am very proud of you, thank you for making the changes you are making for both of us. I love you,
My husband has no idea how much information he gave to me, by just emailing me a link to this website. With the help of all those who posted to my message, I continued to educate myself to this process of alcoholism.
I thank you.
I could answer YES to four or more of the questions.
Im not opposed to contacting AA and I have the phone number at my finger tip.
I have started listening to the BIG BOOK via the web. Im up to Bills Story. (Cut me some slack, Im just a beginner 38 yrs old and a constant drinker for 13 years; yet just a beginner here.)
I have not had a drink.(since 5/10). And Im learning a little more everyday.
Ive experienced some headaches, but have turned to Tylenol not alcohol.
I did receive an email from my husband today Ill cut and paste it here:
I am very proud of you, thank you for making the changes you are making for both of us. I love you,
My husband has no idea how much information he gave to me, by just emailing me a link to this website. With the help of all those who posted to my message, I continued to educate myself to this process of alcoholism.
I thank you.
