Help,,,,I can't handle all this freaking stress.....my meds are putting us in the poor house and I'm no longer working. This is making my blood preassure worse but I can't help it,,,,,I WANT CODIENE AND NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been really aggitated these past couple of days and I just now figured out why,,,,mind you it was after many trips to my medicine chest looking for some pill I could take,,,,something,,,,anything, but I keep walking away empty handed,,,,and now I wanna go out to the drugstore and buy some........ God damn it,,,why after 7 weeks am I feeling like this,,,is it bc of all the stress,,,well of course it is you idiot, this has bin my downfall too many times in the past,,,,but I really don't want to go through this again,,,,,right now I JUST DON'T GIVE A F________
Play it all the way through, Blys. Come on, you can do it. Take yourself all the way to wd's. Imagine those restless legs and how awful that felt. When you're done think of now.
Think of how you can go anywhere you want to without worrying if you have a big enough stash to survive the trip.
Think how you don't wake up desperate.
Triggers pass....you just ride it out and then they go away. Every time you face a trigger you will be a little stronger.
And guess what else?
You just told on your disease. Good for you!
Love, Kat
Think of how you can go anywhere you want to without worrying if you have a big enough stash to survive the trip.
Think how you don't wake up desperate.
Triggers pass....you just ride it out and then they go away. Every time you face a trigger you will be a little stronger.
And guess what else?
You just told on your disease. Good for you!
Love, Kat
I don't understand what you mean by I just told on my disease? I have read and re-read your post,,,if I had enough ink, I'd copy it out and read it somemore,,,post it on my fridge and all over the house if I thought it would help,,,,,,I SOOOOOOOOOOO DON'T WANNA GO BACK THERE!!!!!!! Thanks Kat,,,you're sooooo kind,,,and I am hearing you,,,I'm ok for tonight as any drugstore near me is closed now. Hopefully this feeling will have subsided by tomorrow. I'm gonna call my counselor first thing in the morning. Talk at you soon,,,,and thanks. blys
Hey just jumping in to say Im so glad to hear your calling for help in the morning.For me & alot of others its that mental addiction that sneaks up on us.That is why it is si important to learn all we can about addiction & we need to retrain our minds to NOT to think as addicts.I felt real bad reaing your post cause yup Ive been there All I can re say is PLEASE hold on.You know what youve gone through & you know you dont want to go back there.Hang In There....mj
Thanks MJ,,,,I appreciate all the support I can get right now!!!!!
Like I said PLEASE hang in it does get better,though I feel for myself at least there will always be times when I crave that feeling again.I guess thats where learning tools to deal with it come in.take Care & please keep letting us know how its going...mj
What it means by "telling on your disease" is that you told how your disease was feeling. You're standing up to it by letting others know what it feels like.
You're doing it right girl. Keep talking. Keep telling that disease and your addict that you won't give in to them. You're stronger than they are.
Some days are just harder than others..it does get better but every once and awhile your addict wants to remind you who's boss. Tell your addict, she's fired.
Hang in there.
Cowgirl
You're doing it right girl. Keep talking. Keep telling that disease and your addict that you won't give in to them. You're stronger than they are.
Some days are just harder than others..it does get better but every once and awhile your addict wants to remind you who's boss. Tell your addict, she's fired.
Hang in there.
Cowgirl
Glad to see you're feeling better, Blys.
Alot of secrecy surrounds active addiction. We live in our sick minds and it's not a healthy place to be.
We learn through recovery to tell on our disease. We're not hiding those addict thoughts when they attack. By telling we allow ourselves to get support. Pretty much what you did tonight. It was nice to watch you take your power back and make a plan for tomorrow.
Love, Kat
Alot of secrecy surrounds active addiction. We live in our sick minds and it's not a healthy place to be.
We learn through recovery to tell on our disease. We're not hiding those addict thoughts when they attack. By telling we allow ourselves to get support. Pretty much what you did tonight. It was nice to watch you take your power back and make a plan for tomorrow.
Love, Kat
Thanks CG and Kat,& MJ , ,,,again I need all the support I can get,,,,It's a battle of wills right now and I know I CAN DO THIS!!!!! I just have to keep telling myself this,,,, I like the thought of telling my addict that it's fired,,,that's a good one CG,,, you are always there for me,,,even through our difficult times and I appreciate that,,,that shows class and you have that, no doubt in my mind. So thanks again you all,,,,I will make that call for sure furst thing in the AM and let you know how it goes. Talk at you all again soon,,,,blys
Hang in there blys...You can do this..It will pass and you will feel
stronger than ever..
Doug
stronger than ever..
Doug
Blys...just remember that in the beginning of your w/d's you were posting here alot more and it helped you. I can't remember or not if you have support at home but it really helps to be able to talk things through so that you don't act on it.
Take care
CG
Take care
CG
Good morning all,,,,,thanks again for all your support last night, it really helped. I haven't slept in 4 nights so last night I took some vallerian root and I finally slept, in fact I just got up! Must have needed the sleep,,,,lol. I called my counselor first thing and she was out so I left a message for her to call me back. It's good to know that I still have the support in here when I need it, so thanks for bringing that point to my attention CG, about me not posting in here as much lately. I have been spending most of my time posting in the depression website, so I am getting support, but where the addiction is concerned, they can't really offer any helpfull suggestions, but they do try. Anyway,,,,thanks again for your continuing support and I'll talk at you all again soon. TTFN blys
Hang in there Blys, it will pass. You have been doing the right things, just keep it up. Here is a strange analogy for you...in mountain biking they tell you to focus at least 20' feet down the trail so you can see obsticles in time to avoid them. Aslo, they tell you to look at where you want to go and not to look at where you don't want to go..ie, if you look at that big rock chances are you are going to steer right into it and fly over the handlebars. So, focus down the trail at where you want to be and avoid the obsticles that may trigger your cravings.
Love it bikeman. Love it.
It isn't worth it....once an addict crosses the line, when you go back out, you usually go right back to where you left off. You go right back to the tolerance you left off at....and all the hell that goes with it. It might sound like that is the solution, but it isn't. It is like awakening a dragon...one pill isn't enough.
How about some vigourous exersize? That always helps me with depression; it gets the happy chemicals flowing and you feel better.
It isn't worth it...trust me.
Kerry
How about some vigourous exersize? That always helps me with depression; it gets the happy chemicals flowing and you feel better.
It isn't worth it...trust me.
Kerry
Thanks again guys,,,,,,My counselor called me back at 5 and we talked for about a half an hr. I also talked to a REALLY GOOD friend of mine from the depression site,,,we spent the afternoon on the phone,,,guess he didn't want to let me go out and buy any, and while I was talking with him, I had an epihany!!!! I came to realize that I was triggered by something my husband had said to me and that put me right back to where I wanted to use,,,but now, like I said, I recognize this as just that,,,,"A TRIGGER", and therfore, stop myself from going and buying any. This guy is one in a million. He too suffers from depression so we support each other. He came to the hospital to see me and brought another one on the members from that site who is agoraphobic, so coming to see me was a HUGE step for him. I have met some amazing people on that site. So between the two sites is where I spend most of my time these days. I am getting all the support I need and for that,,,,,I THANK YOU AGAIN!!!!
I also realize where I was and I know I don't want to go back down that road again,,,,so I have put up a mental "ROAD BLOCK SIGN",,,,is that how you talk to your addictive mind? Hey,,,whatever works, right? Talk at you all again soon. TTFN blys
I also realize where I was and I know I don't want to go back down that road again,,,,so I have put up a mental "ROAD BLOCK SIGN",,,,is that how you talk to your addictive mind? Hey,,,whatever works, right? Talk at you all again soon. TTFN blys
I'm glad you're feeling better Blys!!!
Keep up the good thoughts!
Keep up the good thoughts!
The road block sign is a great tool. When entering my mind, you don't go in without adult supervision.
Have a good night Blys.
Cowgirl
Have a good night Blys.
Cowgirl
Thanks Janet and Lisa,,,,you guys are GREAT!!!!!!!! I hope you're all doing ok and if there's ever anything I can do for any of you, please don't hesitate to ask!!!! TTFN blys
Hey Kerry, I read somewhere that our disease actually continues to progress even while we're clean. I have no idea how factual this is but if it's true, can you imagine? We don't just go right back to where we were, but much worse.
I think I heard this at an AA meeting a long time ago and it applied to alcohol but it makes sense that it would apply to opiates as well.
Worth considering anyway.
Love, Kat
I think I heard this at an AA meeting a long time ago and it applied to alcohol but it makes sense that it would apply to opiates as well.
Worth considering anyway.
Love, Kat
