I am grippin really hard right now...I went out for a while
to checkout this combo, and I ran into someone I used
to buy pills from..Anyway I started fantasizing about
taking pills and questioning my recovery and all that crap..
I got the hell out of there and came home...I would
appreciate any encouragement you guys can throw my
way right now...
Thanks,
Doug
Dont even think of it brother. Are you nuts. Dont you have ike 30 days clean. I would kill for 30 days dammit
Dont piss me off doug
Dont piss me off doug
DOUG
TAKE A DEEP BREATH...GUESS WHAT YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!!!!
SINCE IT IS EARLY IN YOUR RECOVERY, IT IS GOING TO BE VERYHARD TO BE AROUND YOUR DOC, CLOSE TOIMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT TRIGGERING, SOMETIMES IT CANT BE AVOIDED BUT YOU SHOULD GET BETTER AS TIME GOES ON
CONGRATULATIONS YOU MADE A GREAT DECISION.
HUGS
ALI
TAKE A DEEP BREATH...GUESS WHAT YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!!!!
SINCE IT IS EARLY IN YOUR RECOVERY, IT IS GOING TO BE VERYHARD TO BE AROUND YOUR DOC, CLOSE TOIMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT TRIGGERING, SOMETIMES IT CANT BE AVOIDED BUT YOU SHOULD GET BETTER AS TIME GOES ON
CONGRATULATIONS YOU MADE A GREAT DECISION.
HUGS
ALI
Yea its day 32 for me, I can't screw it up now...
I think Alicap is right. You did something amazing by walking away from this temptation; it helps me, when I obsess, to play the tape to the end.
Think of what will happen if I do use, the clean time lost, the very real possibility I will not make it back this time or even the awful desperation I feel when I run out.
Instead of sitting alone with your thoughts perhaps go to a meeting if you can. Sharing as you have is a huge step!
God bless.
Think of what will happen if I do use, the clean time lost, the very real possibility I will not make it back this time or even the awful desperation I feel when I run out.
Instead of sitting alone with your thoughts perhaps go to a meeting if you can. Sharing as you have is a huge step!
God bless.
Yea man. Dont even think about it dude. Sorry i yelled i was just mad I cant wait till day 32. Im celebrating that weekend and going to Atantic City to play in a poker tournament. Some normalcy , thats what i crave right now
Doug you straight now? I want to go to bed soon man
Doug you straight now? I want to go to bed soon man
Duog don't question your recovery.Question yourself. Ask yourself; what do I want out of life? Do I want a clear head so I can be the person I want to be or do I want tobe the person with a cloudy head and never know where I am going.
Travis
Travis
Yea thanks red and all you guys..I looked it up and there is an
aa meeting in half an hour not to far from here..I'm gonna go
over there and seek refuge..
Doug
aa meeting in half an hour not to far from here..I'm gonna go
over there and seek refuge..
Doug
Doug,
Hopefully you are on your way to that meeting !!
Stay strong .... you can fight it & be the winner !!! You ARE a winner !!
I still don't really know why, but I always feel so much better after a meeting - even if I was feeling good before, they just make me feel even better. It's nice to feel better. :-)
I think it's this time of year too ..... I've been having some cravings myself since shortly before Thanksgiving. I'm doing what I hear many here say - play the tape all the way thru, reach out here on this forum, get to meetings and talk to other addicts in recovery.
Most important - - Just don't pick up - NO MATTER WHAT!!!
I certainly don't want to go anywhere near that beast of addiction & pill obsession ..... neither do you .... you know what to do ....
There's strength in numbers ....
Hopefully you are on your way to that meeting !!
Stay strong .... you can fight it & be the winner !!! You ARE a winner !!
I still don't really know why, but I always feel so much better after a meeting - even if I was feeling good before, they just make me feel even better. It's nice to feel better. :-)
I think it's this time of year too ..... I've been having some cravings myself since shortly before Thanksgiving. I'm doing what I hear many here say - play the tape all the way thru, reach out here on this forum, get to meetings and talk to other addicts in recovery.
Most important - - Just don't pick up - NO MATTER WHAT!!!
I certainly don't want to go anywhere near that beast of addiction & pill obsession ..... neither do you .... you know what to do ....
There's strength in numbers ....
Doug, good for you, walking away is the best exercise.
People are right, you are still in early recovery, heck, so am I and I have 5 months. Just know that you will have to start all over again should you use. I relapsed after 33 days, I know.
Prayers for you!
People are right, you are still in early recovery, heck, so am I and I have 5 months. Just know that you will have to start all over again should you use. I relapsed after 33 days, I know.
Prayers for you!
Good god wolfe
you say the best things....play the tape to the end...
i have to remeber that one. i will
Thanks for sharing.
i love this board.
Thank God its here.
Ali
you say the best things....play the tape to the end...
i have to remeber that one. i will
Thanks for sharing.
i love this board.
Thank God its here.
Ali
When I was in rehab, one of the counselors told us this story of a guy who was an addict and every time he'd get clean he would sooner or later run into someone offering to sell him pills. His mind would just go to moosh and he would give into temptation. So what he did was he always carried his money in his wallet, but not only that, he would wrap the money in a letter he wrote the second day he was in rehab when he was feeling his worst. He also put in a picture of his kids. The next time he ran into someone trying to sell him something, he went to get his money but had to go through the letter and picture first. That was enough to snap him out of it and he told the guy NO. I always thought that was a neat idea.
Thanks Alicap but I can't take credit for that. I learned that thorugh my 12 step program and so far it has really helped.
Good point Michelle. It is a good example of doing what ever it takes. I have almost nine months clean and still do not feel comfortable carrying money. I think if one is blessed to have a support group, use it!
As soon as I get my check I turn it over to someone I trust.
Good point Michelle. It is a good example of doing what ever it takes. I have almost nine months clean and still do not feel comfortable carrying money. I think if one is blessed to have a support group, use it!
As soon as I get my check I turn it over to someone I trust.
Doug..if you want to talk after you get back from the meeting, I'll be up for awhile.
Hang in there.
Cowgirl
Hang in there.
Cowgirl
Hey guys..Everything is ok..I went to the meeting and talked things
through and went over to my cousins house..This was my first big
test or temptation and thank God I was able to walk away from it..
Wolf your so right on about playin the tape all the way through..
When I started focusing on all the negatives associated with
taking pills, and the hell I had to go to get were I am it took the
cravings away..
I am amazed, but there is an aa meeting every hour in this city
starting at 7:00am and ending at 11:00pm.. I guess it really
shouldn't surprise me since they named this the number one
party school in the country..
Doug
through and went over to my cousins house..This was my first big
test or temptation and thank God I was able to walk away from it..
Wolf your so right on about playin the tape all the way through..
When I started focusing on all the negatives associated with
taking pills, and the hell I had to go to get were I am it took the
cravings away..
I am amazed, but there is an aa meeting every hour in this city
starting at 7:00am and ending at 11:00pm.. I guess it really
shouldn't surprise me since they named this the number one
party school in the country..
Doug
doug,
congrats to you for making it over your first hurdle, each hurdle gets easier and strengthens your mental muscles big times. never lose focus. keep your eye on the ball so to speak, hehehe i know look at me i got two sports going on. but i think you get the picture. i am super impressed with the actions you have taken this time around. now you know what to do for the next time it shouldnt play so much on your mind for the next time and soon you will be an old pro. be very proud of your self, i know lots of us here are proud of you and you showed many what a fine example you are and gave hope and insperation. graet job : )
terrianne
congrats to you for making it over your first hurdle, each hurdle gets easier and strengthens your mental muscles big times. never lose focus. keep your eye on the ball so to speak, hehehe i know look at me i got two sports going on. but i think you get the picture. i am super impressed with the actions you have taken this time around. now you know what to do for the next time it shouldnt play so much on your mind for the next time and soon you will be an old pro. be very proud of your self, i know lots of us here are proud of you and you showed many what a fine example you are and gave hope and insperation. graet job : )
terrianne
Thanks Terrianne..It was tough sleddin there for a couple of hours,
but your right..I learned a great coping skill for the next time I hit
a trigger like that..Now if I could only get a good nights sleep..lol
Doug
but your right..I learned a great coping skill for the next time I hit
a trigger like that..Now if I could only get a good nights sleep..lol
Doug
Doug
Always remember what it felt like that last week of using and tht first week getting clean. It's not going to get any better. The incomprehsible demoralization is always out there waiting. Like it's been said before, play the tape all the way to the end. We are going to encounter people from out past. That's not an excuse to use Just because we stopped using doesn't mean the world changes, just we do. You did great walking away. Keep up the good work.
Always remember what it felt like that last week of using and tht first week getting clean. It's not going to get any better. The incomprehsible demoralization is always out there waiting. Like it's been said before, play the tape all the way to the end. We are going to encounter people from out past. That's not an excuse to use Just because we stopped using doesn't mean the world changes, just we do. You did great walking away. Keep up the good work.
doug,
i promise sleep will come. just know its not forever. before you know it you will be sleeping like a baby, right now i feel your pain though, i adopted a dog last night and he woke up at 4 am and wanted to play and play and play and he wanted to go outside and at 4 am in this michigan snow brrrrr, there was no going back to sleep after that lol but he sure is just to cute to really complain : )
terrianne
i promise sleep will come. just know its not forever. before you know it you will be sleeping like a baby, right now i feel your pain though, i adopted a dog last night and he woke up at 4 am and wanted to play and play and play and he wanted to go outside and at 4 am in this michigan snow brrrrr, there was no going back to sleep after that lol but he sure is just to cute to really complain : )
terrianne
Terrianne..I have been thinking about getting a dog..My dog
that I had for 14 years died a couple of months ago..We were
so close all those years..It really ripped my heart out and started
my life spiraling out of control..Which finally led me into recovery
thank god..I really miss her so much..
Doug
that I had for 14 years died a couple of months ago..We were
so close all those years..It really ripped my heart out and started
my life spiraling out of control..Which finally led me into recovery
thank god..I really miss her so much..
Doug
