Hi,
I don't know how many of you remember me me, but i have been here before. Actually, I never left, I have been keeping up with the "oldies" and been reading about the "newbies". I have learned so much from all of you.
My 20 yr old daughter is a heroin addict, I never in a million years would think that this would happen to us.
She has been to rehab many times and is still using. I don't know why I am even taking the time to type this all out....why...who is this going to help? Definately not her, she can't help herself. She'll continue to do her own thing. Me ... who can help me? The pain,sadness and helplessness I feel is unconsolable.
I am the mom who said I would never give up.I would do what ever it takes to save my daughter.
I would judge you other parents as failures and quitters for "detaching with love". I thought that you were giving up!
I have sadly and reluctantly come to agree with you, and it breaks my heart, to let go.
Not to let go of the control, but to let go of my daughter,, my baby. the girl who I had hopes and dreams for. I guess that I too will subside to this drug called heroin,it has beaten me too, and say you have taken her, and if she wants to come back to me, then I will be here, and if not, If she doesn't..than so be it, you have won.
I do read these boards weekly, sometimes daily, and I am so unbelievably happy for those of you who are winning this battle, for you and your families,who are fighting this too. I pray for those of you who are, like me, losing the fight. Is that what I have lost, the desire to fight this demon, or have I just faced reality, and realiazed..I can't win. I am not in this game, she is, this is her game to win. This is her battle to fight and if she gives in ...than so must I...reluctantly.
P.S. Please ingore the misspellings and all, I did not reread this to correct. Thanks.
Hermom
I'm sorry hermom. You are right it is your daughters battle to win, but you don't have to stand by idly and watch her kill herself. Make sure she knows she has a safe place to come home to but you must set your boundries as well.
Awww Hermom, I sure remember you. I am so very sorry you are hurting. i can not even imagine your pain.
I know exactly what you meant by saying you thought other parents were quitters, and the like. If my own mother finally just told me "OUT" and man she is one tough cookie, and i am her first, and only daughter, and trust me she controlled everything in life and for her to finally say "OUT" then not a soul on earth could do this or help us or control heroin or it's after math.
You are an excellent and loving mom. You raised your beloved daughter. Somewhere in there she is. She's in there, and we can pray she finds her way. If it helps knowing that when my own tough as nails momma couldn't do it anymore I actually woke up a bit. Just a tiny bit, and within a few months i was clean. Perhaps your daughter will too. I pray she does.
Thinking of your girl now, and always, and in my prayers, hermom. I am sorry for your pain. So sorry.
I know exactly what you meant by saying you thought other parents were quitters, and the like. If my own mother finally just told me "OUT" and man she is one tough cookie, and i am her first, and only daughter, and trust me she controlled everything in life and for her to finally say "OUT" then not a soul on earth could do this or help us or control heroin or it's after math.
You are an excellent and loving mom. You raised your beloved daughter. Somewhere in there she is. She's in there, and we can pray she finds her way. If it helps knowing that when my own tough as nails momma couldn't do it anymore I actually woke up a bit. Just a tiny bit, and within a few months i was clean. Perhaps your daughter will too. I pray she does.
Thinking of your girl now, and always, and in my prayers, hermom. I am sorry for your pain. So sorry.
My mom is in the same situation. I am 15 years old, and for the past 5 years my oldest sister, who is now 26 years old, has been using heroin. It has gotten so bad, to the point that she stole money from her own son, such as birthday money, etc. She lost both of her children. The oldest, my mother got custody of, and the youngest who is, 16 months old, is now in state custody. She has been gone for almost a year. My sister, Tricia, has hurt us all like crazy, and she has been in and out of jail for so much stuff. She recently went back to jail. She has gone to the farthest extents to get money, for the drugs. She was prostituting, and stuff like that. Its terrible. My mother has recently given up, and we will not accept her phone calls anymore, or reply to her letters. My mom is sending her a mothers day card, from her son, and that is it. It is tough love, and my mom has always said the same exact thing-that she would never give up. Well its about time, that Tricia gets her act together, without us all bending over backward for her, when she is not grateful, the least bit. My brother had a heroin problem for about a year, as well, and he pulled himself together, the 2nd time he got put in jail. He has been clean for almost 2 years now. My mother decided, if Adam can do it-Tricia can do it.
I hope this story helped you a little bit.
I hope this story helped you a little bit.
