Now its something else. I may be changing jobs. I am scared witless. I hate the feeling of starting a new job. I worry if people will like me more than anything. It is for more money and better benefits but right now I have such a comfort zone good people who like me and flexible hours. What it boils down to is what is best for the future and what is best for right now. And of course the stress involved wich puts me at risk. This is just awfully scary and I need some imput need help processing it all. Anyone here today?
Jane, I am here for a while.
First, not everyone will like you. You have no control over that. I do believe that most will once they get to know you.
How about a list of the pros and cons of this new job?
I think that instead of this entitlement that most people have, we addicts have undervalued ourselves. Go for what you deserve.
Listen to your gut. I know you will make the right choice!
First, not everyone will like you. You have no control over that. I do believe that most will once they get to know you.
How about a list of the pros and cons of this new job?
I think that instead of this entitlement that most people have, we addicts have undervalued ourselves. Go for what you deserve.
Listen to your gut. I know you will make the right choice!
Kerry, Thank you for your response I hate this s***...If I did the pro's and con's the only time it would weigh out is well into the future via the 401k. And possibly affording to get my teeth fixed. They are sooo bad. I love love love this job. It's just real kick back place to work. But long term I am better off financially there. I am afraid of the risk of leaving something I really love. So afraid. I would be doing this purely for the long term advantage well and its for a couple of dollars more an hour. Plus its what i am going to school for The position is Sales Tax Accountant. Grr I am freaked.
Oh Jane...first off, have you prayed about this? And prayed some more? For me, my HP will always reveal the answers to my prayers if I'm open & willing to see the answer.....
You need to do what is going to make you happy....search down deep and get completely honest with yourself...I have a friend that will remind me that sometimes I need to get out of my comfort zone and change things in order to grow....I do know the word Change freaks me out so can I ask you, what are your fears in all of this and if you want the job, are you going to allow fear to stop you? And, play it through, if you do take the job, give it your all and find out you're not happy, what's the worst that can happen? And you might be totally blown away and love the new job, look back in a few years and realize you made the best choice for your career.....
Pray about it and let go, give it to God and realize you are exactly where you need to be at this point in time.....
Love ya,
Stacey
You need to do what is going to make you happy....search down deep and get completely honest with yourself...I have a friend that will remind me that sometimes I need to get out of my comfort zone and change things in order to grow....I do know the word Change freaks me out so can I ask you, what are your fears in all of this and if you want the job, are you going to allow fear to stop you? And, play it through, if you do take the job, give it your all and find out you're not happy, what's the worst that can happen? And you might be totally blown away and love the new job, look back in a few years and realize you made the best choice for your career.....
Pray about it and let go, give it to God and realize you are exactly where you need to be at this point in time.....
Love ya,
Stacey
Stacey-
I am mostly scared of people. I don't fit the mold I have my addiction thing I smoke I have been to jail all of which they don't know and if they find out they would never understand. They don't have to know its the annonymoty (sp?) that I need to focus on. I guess I am afraid of shedding this thick skin I have and letting go of all that bad that has clung to me and just let it go. I am that afraid of change. I would rather be here safe and sound and peaceful than risk and grow and change. I don't like change and oh hell yes I have praid non stop for the last 5 days.
I am mostly scared of people. I don't fit the mold I have my addiction thing I smoke I have been to jail all of which they don't know and if they find out they would never understand. They don't have to know its the annonymoty (sp?) that I need to focus on. I guess I am afraid of shedding this thick skin I have and letting go of all that bad that has clung to me and just let it go. I am that afraid of change. I would rather be here safe and sound and peaceful than risk and grow and change. I don't like change and oh hell yes I have praid non stop for the last 5 days.
I have my addiction thing I smoke I have been to jail all of which they don't know and if they find out they would never understand.
If you don't tell them, how would they find out? You're just borrowing trouble, Jane. Walk thru your fears. You'll be fine. Leave the drama and worry for someone else.
If you don't tell them, how would they find out? You're just borrowing trouble, Jane. Walk thru your fears. You'll be fine. Leave the drama and worry for someone else.
| QUOTE |
| I am that afraid of change. I would rather be here safe and sound and peaceful than risk and grow and change. |
I say this with total love, k? From the way I read that, you're still punishing yourself for mistakes made....Do you have a sponsor? For me, working the steps is how I am learning to forgive myself and allow myself the opportunities that are presenting themselves in the Now....
It's time you start working the steps and let the crap go that you're still carrying around with you....YOU are so worth it....You are a beautiful creature of God that is doing the very best you can, doing the next right thing, and have evolved into a whole new person. I understand the fears and I also know that walking through those fears, coming out on the other side will rocket you into another demension.....Have faith Jane, pray and know that God will take care of you...and no matter what you're past is, I'm still your friend and will continue to be....don't future trip about others and what's past, is past, it's all about who we are today......
xoxoxo
Stacey
ps...Do you write at night? I'd like to suggest that you journal this tonight, your fears and your hopes and then when it's all out on paper, give it to God.....
Well spoken Kat. It just feels like so much more. Like if I risk my well being now and all the stress of a new job it will trigger me in some way and suddenly I will be using to cope.
Jane
Jane
Stacey I write in a journal nightly and sometimes minute by minute when I am scared or unsure. I need to practice giving it to God because I hand it over then take it right back. I am happy at this job. But something pushed me to apply for this other one something made them call me back then something made me go to the interview then something made them hire me for 2 more dollars and hour and more benefits. It is a problem of abudence I realize that. But it makes it no less scarey I think God brought me to this spot. So I think God can get me through it. Does that ease my mind? NOt really.
but progress. not perfection.
Love,
Jane
but progress. not perfection.
Love,
Jane
| QUOTE |
| I need to practice giving it to God because I hand it over then take it right back. |
That's me in a nutshell....When I can finally Let go, life gets so much easier and the peace returns in my life. My sponsor told me this one time...she said the difference between letting go & let go is with letting go, you do take it back but when you let go, you give it to God and let him decide the outcome....
So, if you want the job, I say go for it and let God take care of the results...btw, $2.00/hr more plus better benefits, way to go.....Congratulations!
xoxoxo
What I really want is to stay here for the same amount. But that is just me being ungrateful and sour.
Jane, I know how you feel. I have been at my current job since 1989. Do I like it no, but it is my comfort zone. I have ventured out and have been offered other jobs paying more money and I did weigh the pros and cons. The pros always were for the other job but I really don't like change. The one major pro of my current job is I am close to my children and can leave at any time if the need me during the day. Good luck in whatever you decide. Shantel
Jane,i too understand how you feel.Im the same way.I Like my familiar surroundings,my routines,i hate change,for many reasons. If it were just a matter of your happiness,this would be an easier choice but...not taking the new job out of fear is another thing.Yet...you could very well hate the job once you took it? Ideally it would be great if you could try the new job and if you dint like it,go right back to your old job,wouldnt it be nice if life were that easy?!?!?!
I hope you make the best choices for you.You are a beautiful, intelligent ,strong, woman,you will decide whats best/right in the end.God luck~KIM
I hope you make the best choices for you.You are a beautiful, intelligent ,strong, woman,you will decide whats best/right in the end.God luck~KIM
Thanks guys....I don't know if there is even a "right" answer.
I called the Human Resource manager with the other company. I told her I would feel more comfortable with my choice if I could come visit the people. I prayed on my way there and asked God to keep an open mind about it all. Everyone there had worked there for 5-10 years they said they liked it and it was a good company. Now that is a standard answer. But the feeling was pretty easy going and there seemed to be a good variety of people. There were just a ton of girls and we all know how that can be in a work environment. But the place I would be in is this little stall where all the payroll is done. It was packed full of stuff. Pretty messy but the lady who would be training me seems very nice * and very pregnant! She was real cute. Its just hard to say but first impresssion was it looked nice and clean and open. Other than the payroll stall. Wich is where I would be for six months. Then I would transition to Sales Tax Accountant position. I am taking a big risk those places can be pretty back stabbing. Women can get pretty teritorial. I should know I am one. Although with all I have been through I try to be kinder than neccisary. I know this is long. I am afraid to leave the ones that I adore at my job now. That is it. The opportunity may be better at the new place but that is questionable since everyone has been there so long some one would have to die to get your foot in thier spot. But what a great starting salary & benefits. Still thinking and thank you for your responses its nice to know I am not alone.
Love,
Jane
I called the Human Resource manager with the other company. I told her I would feel more comfortable with my choice if I could come visit the people. I prayed on my way there and asked God to keep an open mind about it all. Everyone there had worked there for 5-10 years they said they liked it and it was a good company. Now that is a standard answer. But the feeling was pretty easy going and there seemed to be a good variety of people. There were just a ton of girls and we all know how that can be in a work environment. But the place I would be in is this little stall where all the payroll is done. It was packed full of stuff. Pretty messy but the lady who would be training me seems very nice * and very pregnant! She was real cute. Its just hard to say but first impresssion was it looked nice and clean and open. Other than the payroll stall. Wich is where I would be for six months. Then I would transition to Sales Tax Accountant position. I am taking a big risk those places can be pretty back stabbing. Women can get pretty teritorial. I should know I am one. Although with all I have been through I try to be kinder than neccisary. I know this is long. I am afraid to leave the ones that I adore at my job now. That is it. The opportunity may be better at the new place but that is questionable since everyone has been there so long some one would have to die to get your foot in thier spot. But what a great starting salary & benefits. Still thinking and thank you for your responses its nice to know I am not alone.
Love,
Jane
What's not to like?
Jane, if you don't like it, you can go back to your old job.
You will know in your gut if it is right. There are no places that are perfect to work; but if people are there for 5 years, it speaks positively.
Women can be catty bitches, but you don't have to buy into it.
You are a smart girl, Jane. And noone has to know about jail.....that is the past. It isn't who you are today.
good luck on whatever you decide.
p.s. Btw, how is the child support going? My ex and I had court yesterday, but he got a lawyer, so it had to be continued.
Before that, he got his support amount cut in half by saying he was making $15 an hour. Bulls***. So, what does the dumbass do? He turns in paystubs to my lawyer reflecting $30 an hour.
I am going to ask for a raise...lol. He is only paying half now anyway. You think the good state would see this and get him on purgery, but nope, he has an attorney from the Mayor's office in Hilo representing him. What a joke.
You will know in your gut if it is right. There are no places that are perfect to work; but if people are there for 5 years, it speaks positively.
Women can be catty bitches, but you don't have to buy into it.
You are a smart girl, Jane. And noone has to know about jail.....that is the past. It isn't who you are today.
good luck on whatever you decide.
p.s. Btw, how is the child support going? My ex and I had court yesterday, but he got a lawyer, so it had to be continued.
Before that, he got his support amount cut in half by saying he was making $15 an hour. Bulls***. So, what does the dumbass do? He turns in paystubs to my lawyer reflecting $30 an hour.
I am going to ask for a raise...lol. He is only paying half now anyway. You think the good state would see this and get him on purgery, but nope, he has an attorney from the Mayor's office in Hilo representing him. What a joke.
Jane,
Something made you apply for the other job. What? Can you analyze it? Change is always threatening, but can make you grow more. Actually, my own experience is that I LOVE working with women. I don't think any man can understand you like another woman can. View the cubicle as a wonderful privacy place. When you are there, you can make it as tidy as you need to with organizers and as lovely as you want it to be with decorations.
I had a job that I liked with the same company for 13 years and then I was laid off during a large downsizing. I had to take another job at $1.00 less an hour and the place wasn't as nice physically. I grew to love the people more than I ever had in the last job and as it turned out, I got a better physical place, too, in a renovation of the place. You can't see what's coming. I applaud you for your journalling effort. It's really a wonderful way of clarifying your life and looking back through the years makes you have a healthy respect for yourself.
Something made you apply for the other job. What? Can you analyze it? Change is always threatening, but can make you grow more. Actually, my own experience is that I LOVE working with women. I don't think any man can understand you like another woman can. View the cubicle as a wonderful privacy place. When you are there, you can make it as tidy as you need to with organizers and as lovely as you want it to be with decorations.
I had a job that I liked with the same company for 13 years and then I was laid off during a large downsizing. I had to take another job at $1.00 less an hour and the place wasn't as nice physically. I grew to love the people more than I ever had in the last job and as it turned out, I got a better physical place, too, in a renovation of the place. You can't see what's coming. I applaud you for your journalling effort. It's really a wonderful way of clarifying your life and looking back through the years makes you have a healthy respect for yourself.
Jane I just read this thread, and wondered what it was all about. I say this not to disregard your feelings, but they are all based entirely on fear. Who knows what the women will be like. Who knows what it will be like, who knows if you will even get their on the first day. I appreciate your fear of change.
But is it valid. How much have you changed in your life. I do not know your whole story, but I know your drugs got you in jail. Are you still living that life. I think not. You have changed so many things positively. Why not a positive job change.
Forget about what could happen. Dance with your fears. You have made the decsion to changer. Stick with it. Live it. The now is a very exciting place to be. What is past is past. The future - who knows - but you have the now. Celebrate it live it.
Leave the drama as was said.
Good Luck. You can do anything you want to. I see no reason why most of them will not think you are a wonderful being to be with!
Quit worrying. Just do it!
calabash
But is it valid. How much have you changed in your life. I do not know your whole story, but I know your drugs got you in jail. Are you still living that life. I think not. You have changed so many things positively. Why not a positive job change.
Forget about what could happen. Dance with your fears. You have made the decsion to changer. Stick with it. Live it. The now is a very exciting place to be. What is past is past. The future - who knows - but you have the now. Celebrate it live it.
Leave the drama as was said.
Good Luck. You can do anything you want to. I see no reason why most of them will not think you are a wonderful being to be with!
Quit worrying. Just do it!
calabash
Jane,
Those things that you're afraid your new co-workers would not understand -- you may underestimate them. When I told people about my abuse and addiction, I was always met with compassion and occasionally a confiding, "Well, me too."
You made bad choices, but they don't define who you are now. What defines you now is the strength and determination you showed in turning your life around. That's something to be proud of.
You'll know what to do. Go with your gut. I know change is scary, but from reading your story, I also know that you are no coward. Far from it.
Love,
Gina
Those things that you're afraid your new co-workers would not understand -- you may underestimate them. When I told people about my abuse and addiction, I was always met with compassion and occasionally a confiding, "Well, me too."
You made bad choices, but they don't define who you are now. What defines you now is the strength and determination you showed in turning your life around. That's something to be proud of.
You'll know what to do. Go with your gut. I know change is scary, but from reading your story, I also know that you are no coward. Far from it.
Love,
Gina
Jane-First of all.......the most important thing..............
Why in the world would you feel compelled to tell anyone at work about your addiction?
You don't.They don't want to know that.
Change is a hard thing even when it's for the better.
All this mental masturbation you're doing is completely normal.As a fellow addict I do the same thing.
I have to see prospective new clients to get work and I go through the same dialogue ."If they only knew who I really was,they would hate me"
I'm going to give them a bid for their yard,not become roomates with them.
I am my worst critic.
Show up.Say a prayer for guidance.Be yourself and let God do the rest.I guarantee you that you will shine.
Recovering Addicts are a clever group of people and most people would benefit from our association.
And the next time I have an interview,you tell me the same thing.LOL
Why in the world would you feel compelled to tell anyone at work about your addiction?
You don't.They don't want to know that.
Change is a hard thing even when it's for the better.
All this mental masturbation you're doing is completely normal.As a fellow addict I do the same thing.
I have to see prospective new clients to get work and I go through the same dialogue ."If they only knew who I really was,they would hate me"
I'm going to give them a bid for their yard,not become roomates with them.
I am my worst critic.
Show up.Say a prayer for guidance.Be yourself and let God do the rest.I guarantee you that you will shine.
Recovering Addicts are a clever group of people and most people would benefit from our association.
And the next time I have an interview,you tell me the same thing.LOL
