Im still addicted to N+ I have been for about 5 years! Ridiculous isnt it! Im at the end of Day 4 of no N+! Here in Australia it is so hard to get now! There are only 4 pharmacys that I know of that dont ask me for Id!! But from February 1st it goes script only!! So it will be even harder- thats why Im trying again now- kids are with their dad for the holiday so Im home alone for the week plus Im on holidays so hopefully the worst will be over before they come home and I go back to work!!
Not as many people here lately, compared to 2 years ago lots of support- I guess people got clean and didnt need it anymore or people keep using and just dont post- that was me I only post when Im trying to kick it!! I feel ok today moving around reasonably well hard at times, gastro, insomnia are hanging around!! I knew it would be tough!! Heres hoping I go the distance!!
1 week today, I feel so flat. Its like Ive done a backflip and Im back at the beginning!! This sucks balls no wonder people cave and go back, anything to just feel normal!! Normal like taking 60 pills a day is normal- if only we knew exactly how long the withdrawal process took, that would make it easier- its not knowing thats hard- asking yourself everyday how much longer will I feel like this when will I feel better!! Anyway its New Years Eve here today, heres to a new year new me
New Years Day here! I had a bit of a boozy night, which I never do! I dont drink usually! But had a few beers with some friend! Now Im paying for it today!! I feel bloody lousy! And Ill be honest my head keeps telling me to have pills! Ive come to far for me to go back now!! I cant feel like this again so I cant have pills!! Please give me strength to just get thru today!! Its gunna be hour by hour for me today!! I think Ill take the kids swimming, Ill lay in the sun and swim also! Hopefully that helps the head!!
Im finally at the end of one of the longest days of my life!! Im going to bed pill free! I made it I got thru the day with out any N+ or codeine for that matter!! I have panadine forte in my bag as I had a severe tooth ache last week!! I havent touched a pill! Besides a paracetamol from my pounding head!! Im pretty proud right now 8 days clean!!! I can do this!!
Yes I no ..soap under your bottom mattress will help with restless legs Imodium for poops.and yes that normal happy ok feeling .is what we all wait for feel so alone like just going thru the motions of life. I so understand you.All you can do is wait for one day you will wake up feeling like life is ok..than life is good than life is great. Really time is the problem we all want it now!!!good day.
Another thing you walk around with no energy ..while you used to run around and feel great..you will get back that feeling of normal you will I repeat you will.it just takes time,you will wake up and feel happy again.ok
Hi Sally,
Thanks for replying! Yeah I know, time is everything! Its just not knowing that gets me. Like how much longer do I have to go thru this!! Mind you Im feeling about 75% so thats something!! Cravings are pretty bad for me at the moment, but not long to go till its script only!! Im hanging tough till then, then its gunna be so hard to get that I wont bloody bother!! But what I would give to feel that euphoric feeling just one more time!! But no I wont cave!! I have decided to focus and Chanel all of my time and energy into 3 things 1. My kids 2.Work 3. The Gym. I think if my focus is with these things I can pull this off and stay clean forever!! I have an addictive nature I think and I just need to find a healthy addiction!
Oh and Im saving so much money- where before I was spending up to $30 a day in a pharmacy! I havent spent that much money the past week and a half!! Its bloody great!! Anyway end of day 11, I got this!!
Thanks for replying! Yeah I know, time is everything! Its just not knowing that gets me. Like how much longer do I have to go thru this!! Mind you Im feeling about 75% so thats something!! Cravings are pretty bad for me at the moment, but not long to go till its script only!! Im hanging tough till then, then its gunna be so hard to get that I wont bloody bother!! But what I would give to feel that euphoric feeling just one more time!! But no I wont cave!! I have decided to focus and Chanel all of my time and energy into 3 things 1. My kids 2.Work 3. The Gym. I think if my focus is with these things I can pull this off and stay clean forever!! I have an addictive nature I think and I just need to find a healthy addiction!
Oh and Im saving so much money- where before I was spending up to $30 a day in a pharmacy! I havent spent that much money the past week and a half!! Its bloody great!! Anyway end of day 11, I got this!!
If you have a upcoming script..how can you not pick it up....be truth full..you want to stop but you cant wait for them pills, sad to say, or just maybe your stronger than that, amen to you...
Sally I live in Australia where we can buy N+ my pill of choice over the counter! It only has 12.8mg of codeine, and 200mg ibuprofen, so I was taking 15 at a time 4 -5 times a day, not so much for the high, more so to feel normal. Now the real bad part is the ibuprofen, damaging my stomach and possibly giving me an ulcer- so these pills are so easy to get for now- well kinda u need to show if at most pharmacys, there are a few that dont ask for ID and they are were I go!! But come the 2nd of February you will need a doctors prescription for these pills, making it hard to get 2-3 boxes a day!! So I dont have an up coming script Im just going cold turkey and trying my bloody hardest to quit. So far so good! But yes been here done this soooo many times!! But I feel this time is different due to needing a script and I am not very good at going to doctors and lying thru my teeth to get them!! So wish me luck, for today is Day 12 Im almost 2 weeks clean!! Pretty happy right now!! Plus I feel pretty good aswell!!
Hi Trying Hard. You're in the home stretch for the physical part. By day 20-21, you'll be golden. As we all have unique fingerprints, faces, personalities; nobody is the same, but for me, day 5-7-10-15-20 and 30 were all milestone days for improvement. Hang in there. I was SO HAPPY the last few years clean and thats whats getting me through this crap. Way way macro-happier than I ever was on pills. Pills give us a very short term micro happiness but c sobriety is macro happy. Be well
Yes Flipperbaby, completely get that!! We all will go thru something different but a little the same- for me I feel good today not great, but I certainly feel a lot better than I did at 1 week in! I long for the days that this crap is so far behind me that I can say Ive been clean for 2 years! But its still a day at a time!! I have been here before and caved so Im treading very carefully!! But I want to be the best Mum I can be to my kids, I was a zombie the past 5 years and didnt do anything with them!! Its all changing now!! We have done so much the past week its been great, even though I have felt a little shifty, they have had fun!! Im 15 days clean today!!
Thats amazing to hear. I so get it. Its the greatest gift we could give to our children. Hang in there.
Things went down hill for me and I gave in to my cravings and had pills! I told myself one box and thats it, but being an addict with an addictive nature I kept having them! But now I need a drs script to get them and I certainly will not be Dr shopping to get them!! So today is Day 3! Must admit and touch wood that Im feeling kinda ok!! Not as bad as I thought I would! Heres hoping its an easier road than I have walked before- mayb because I had 3 weeks clean time prior to the past 3 weeks that its making it a little easier!!
I'm so happy you came back. We all really do care...post and talk I'm here all the time.xxoo
Hi All,
Some of you may remember me when I burst on the scene in 2015 with a 120 pill a day habit of Nurofen Plus.
My original posting can be found here, a lot of great content if you feel like a read;
https://www.addictionrecoveryguide.o...19&t=75755&st=0
I was clean for approximately 1 year and a half, however I have relapsed and used over the past 9-12 months.
I'm 6 days in recovery again, slightly reduced pill intake than last time approximately 60-90 pills per day.
Just like TH2, I'm in Sydney Australia where legislation has just changed to take codeine away from over-the-counter purchase and make it prescription only.
I've already gone through a lot in this first week, urgent blood panel work done, an iron injection done today by my doctor, urinalysis is also being tested and there are a bunch of other support systems in place such as family, my couselor and a new life coach I've just started seeing.
Withdrawal is obviously tough but pushing through that is generally the easiest part as we all know. What comes after is the challenge to discover new healthy coping mechanisms and to re-connect many facets of our lives that have become unbalanced - e.g. nutrition, exercise, social connection, healthy relationships, etc.
The admins never like that I do this but as usual if anyone wants to talk directly, hit me up - ****
As Always - Stay Strong, Stay Calm, Stay Vigilant!
Cheers,
Cam.
Some of you may remember me when I burst on the scene in 2015 with a 120 pill a day habit of Nurofen Plus.
My original posting can be found here, a lot of great content if you feel like a read;
https://www.addictionrecoveryguide.o...19&t=75755&st=0
I was clean for approximately 1 year and a half, however I have relapsed and used over the past 9-12 months.
I'm 6 days in recovery again, slightly reduced pill intake than last time approximately 60-90 pills per day.
Just like TH2, I'm in Sydney Australia where legislation has just changed to take codeine away from over-the-counter purchase and make it prescription only.
I've already gone through a lot in this first week, urgent blood panel work done, an iron injection done today by my doctor, urinalysis is also being tested and there are a bunch of other support systems in place such as family, my couselor and a new life coach I've just started seeing.
Withdrawal is obviously tough but pushing through that is generally the easiest part as we all know. What comes after is the challenge to discover new healthy coping mechanisms and to re-connect many facets of our lives that have become unbalanced - e.g. nutrition, exercise, social connection, healthy relationships, etc.
The admins never like that I do this but as usual if anyone wants to talk directly, hit me up - ****
As Always - Stay Strong, Stay Calm, Stay Vigilant!
Cheers,
Cam.
Trying hard To: All beginnings are hard and u r definitely at a new beginning, it's called living. I admire your strength and courage for you have certainly done this the hard way and have earned a chance to live and enjoy life again (even though it might not feel it right now. The best thing you can do for yourself right now is get some outside support. NA OR AA is helpful to a lot of people. We are also here for you, but this is far from the support you can find in real life. I wish for the best for you. God loves courage and God loves you. May the Lord bless you.
Hi cam and Browndog,
I remember you cam! It was a few years back now, sorry to hear of your relapse, addiction is difficult- especially if there is a trigger! Im so glad for codeine to be taken off the shelves, will certainly make recovery a lot easier (at least I hope) i, I unlike you havent had any blood work done! Not sure if I will either! Hopefully we both get thru this without anymore relapses! My symptoms are not as bad this time round, I think because I had almost 3 weeks clean time! But I do feel slightly less motivated! But sleep is reasonably easy and Im not as adgited! Thanks Brown dog! I have been struggling with N+ for a very long time! I almost lost my husband! Who I now realise I love endlessly and couldnt live without him in my life!! N+ made me emotionless and made me feel like I didnt need or love him!! I left him 3 times, I was very lucky to get another chance with him!! I wont screw it up thats for sure!! Anyway gotta fly and take my kidlets to school!! Have a great day all!
I remember you cam! It was a few years back now, sorry to hear of your relapse, addiction is difficult- especially if there is a trigger! Im so glad for codeine to be taken off the shelves, will certainly make recovery a lot easier (at least I hope) i, I unlike you havent had any blood work done! Not sure if I will either! Hopefully we both get thru this without anymore relapses! My symptoms are not as bad this time round, I think because I had almost 3 weeks clean time! But I do feel slightly less motivated! But sleep is reasonably easy and Im not as adgited! Thanks Brown dog! I have been struggling with N+ for a very long time! I almost lost my husband! Who I now realise I love endlessly and couldnt live without him in my life!! N+ made me emotionless and made me feel like I didnt need or love him!! I left him 3 times, I was very lucky to get another chance with him!! I wont screw it up thats for sure!! Anyway gotta fly and take my kidlets to school!! Have a great day all!
Im so scared I will never get over this and I will always be an Addict!! I just cant stop taking them!! Im day 1 into yet another attempt to rid my life of pills- Im now taking panadine forte as nurophen plus is harder to get!! And the paracetamol will do more damage I fear that the ibuprofen will!! I have to work the next 2 days and then I have 5 off!! Im hoping I cope being at work!! Give me strength!!
Keep trying babe, that's all you can do. I'm approaching two years clean and I was an addict for 7-8 years. I only found help by reaching out to a doctor and having the support of one who didn't make me feel judged. Plus I tapered which really helped. I know things have changed in Australia regarding the law around codeine and for that im glad since I hope it will stop anyone repeating my mistake. It hasn't always been the easiest ride the last two years and I will always be an addict but there is light at the end of the tunnel. The biggest thing for me was wanting to change myself. It's like I wanted to do it but at the same time I initially didn't have the dedication to do it. At the time I just wished there was a magical wand that would fix me. I think the main thing for me after this time is dealing with my emotions. You don't realise how numb it makes you. I still check this from time to time and im thinking of doing an update on my diary since I can see people still read it. But you are doing great and you just gotta keep going babe, no matter how many relapses you have.
Thanks KONorma, I actually had pills on Monday so I lost a day but today Im 5 days no pills- I think the worst of this for me at the moment is Im so bloody tired through the day! Id say due to the fact that Im not sleeping very well at night!! Im not on any meds to help with anything at the moment Im hoping my sleep patterns and my moods eventually stabilise on their own!! I know its going to take a huge amount of time, but I really cant wait to start feeling naturally great again, Ive totally forgot what that feels like!! Ive really pushed my boundaries with going to the doctors for pills-Its time I stopped!! Otherwise I fear I will be caught out!! Time to get clean and live a healthy happy life been here and said all this before!! Im the girl who cried wolf!
