So this is day 9 that my daughter has been out of the hospital after heart surgery. She has been hospitalized for over 3 months with infective endocarditis, septic pulmonaries, staph in blood heart and lungs. Needless to say why I am on here. She didn't come home last night. She was using again. I was married to an alcoholic for 25 years. We divorced 2 years ago then my daughter started using heroine. It has been a battled. I have made her move out of my house in the past. She only moved back because a legal issues mandated she live at home. After she moved home and detoxed she became very ill. We had detoxed here before. This was different. I took her daily to doctor for antibiotics. She was being treated double pneumonia. she wasn't healing and she was admitted to hospital with septic staph infections, holes in her lungs, and endocarditis. She had open heart surgery 4 weeks ago and came home last week. It has been a long 4 months.
Now her using again. Do I put her out of the house while she is still healing from heart surgery? Do I continue to let her live with me? I don't want to enable, but I don't want to cause damage either. Hard decision for a mom, but I guess these are all hard decisions.
Sam...
That's a hard call...and im so not qualified to answer or even suggest what would be the best thing...please go to the family board...they're are good people who might be able to offer some comfort and advice. All the best to you and your daughter. Heroin doesn't let go easily. I'm so sorry.
That's a hard call...and im so not qualified to answer or even suggest what would be the best thing...please go to the family board...they're are good people who might be able to offer some comfort and advice. All the best to you and your daughter. Heroin doesn't let go easily. I'm so sorry.
How old is your daughter?
My daughter is 23
My daughter told me while she was in the hospital that what "we" not addicts don't get is that addicts know when we are trying to say the right thing or convince them to seek help is that they just don't care. Period. That we need to stop caring so they might realize it and want to gain back what they have lost. Her point made clear: Addicts just don't care! Hard to accept, but may be the truth.
Thank you so much Constatine! It always helps to have information from a lot of sources. I found the family area and have posted there. Yes heroin is bad. I was married to an alcoholic for 25 years and although our marriage was hell and ended, it has nothing on the heroin. Thanks again!
I don't know if it's that we don't care. ..but I do know my own behaviors when I'm being told about it...asked about it...being asked to explain. ..nagged...or when I sense someone is trying to "help"...it makes me angry...and aggravated. .and I tend to go use ..and use more...maybe it's because we do care ... we alienate those who love us first and will fight everyone and anything trying to get us to stop....unless we are ready to do it ourselves...drug use is intensely personal and very complicated on a lot of levels...it's bound up in more than just the using...I can't explain why I use...the disease is progressive. ..it takes me over in a hundred different ways..and the battle is and can only be...mine....trying to understand us will make you as crazy as we are in ways....you have to disconnect. ..detach. ...stop wondering about it and stop trying to figure it out....your daughter is right in that... I hope she will want some clean time eventually ...we usually do after a long run....love her but disconnect....she'll be ready when she's ready...alanon or Naranon are your answers...work your program so when she's ready she can work hers
Constatine,
I will save that and read often as I need to keep reminding myself.
Thank you so much!
I will save that and read often as I need to keep reminding myself.
Thank you so much!
Your stronger than you think...peace
