So about a year and a half ago I met my bf. He was upfront (sort of) about his drug past and told me that he was on suboxone and the plan for him was to wean off of them within a month. He was so perfect to me, and I was so naive that I believed it. I allowed him to meet my two kids. I moved into his shared living situation. All to find out that our entire relationship he lied. He was selling his subs for money. Then I started finding needle caps. Belts in random places. Razor blades. And lots of spoons with residue on them. He claimed he was shooting his subs. Mixing them with water because he couldn't kick the habit of it. He has stolen. Lied. Been arrested. The whole nine yards. I have bailed him out of jail, almost been arrested myself, and dealt with more side effects of his use than I ever even knew possible. As he lies next to me at night I stare awake ans silently cry for the man I know is truly in there. The one I fear so greatly is going to end up in jail or worse. He refuses to complete a rehab. The last one he went to He told them he had to go to the emergency room and then took a cab to the store and got beer and got himself kicked out! He says that I am the one who makes him use because I'm intimidating. I know enough to know that's his addict side talking but it definitely doesnt make it any easier to hear. I'm afraid if I leave he WILL kill himself. He threatens it every time. Either suicide or by overdosing. He needs a psychiatric evaluation but I can't get him to go. Is there something I can do other than having him admitted against his will? Do interventions work?
Hi, I'm sorry your going through this nightmare. Best advice I can give you is to leave! I know it sounds cold and I'm not the one in your shoes but believe me when I tell you that his addiction could go on for years and years. My daughter is addicted 18 yrs now. There's no easy fix to get away from opiates, otherwise there would be no addicts. Getting him into rehab is something he has to do and he has to want sobriety more than drugs to start that journey. He threatens suicide if you were to leave him? Every time he sticks that needle in his arm could be his suicide. Don't listen to him blaming you for making him do this or that and it's your fault. It's the same story right across the board. They all need a story, someone to blame, because God forbid should they not have an excuse to be doing drugs. Can you see what kind of life you'll have with your kids if you stay? You'll have nothing because everything and anything that he can get money on, will be gone. He'll sell it all for dope and what he can't take from you he'll steal from others. That's when the jail comes into play. It's how a lot of their lives go. You will be hurt and heart broken if you leave but you must be a strong person to put up with what you've already put up with. That's the strength you can use to and get you away from this hellish life. Heartbreak from leaving him will get easier and you'll manage to get over it. But staying with him and you'll have nothing but heartbreak everyday of your life. Unless he changes, this will be your life. I wish I could tell you different and something that can give you hope. But I can't! Don't waste away your years on someone who loves dope more than he loves you, your kids and even his own life. You and your kids deserve happiness not a life of worry. If you decide to stay you should join an AA group or NA group for dependents. They will help advise you and you'll be among others going through the same. Al-anon is one and Nac-anon is the other. I hope things get better for you as I know how sad you are. Take care! I'm thinking of you and wishing you well. Mary.
The Three "C's". 1. You didn't cause this. 2. You can't control it. 3. You can't cure it.
The Three "C's". 1. You didn't cause this. 2. You can't control it. 3. You can't cure it.
I could not say it better. Mary said everything perfectly. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Although my son is the addict in our family, we all have stared at the ceiling and cried. I had a good cry today over what is now and what has/should have been.
We have to take of ourselves. Addiction is like a black hole that sucks everything into itself. Unfortunately, as Mary said, unless the addict wants help, there is no option. Unfortunately, even if they want help, they have a long road.
We have to take of ourselves. Addiction is like a black hole that sucks everything into itself. Unfortunately, as Mary said, unless the addict wants help, there is no option. Unfortunately, even if they want help, they have a long road.
both of you responded so well - I have nothing to add as our family is headed into crisis....
If you keep reading you will find we have all been thru this over and over. If you want your life to change, you need to make permanent changes. If you are not already going to meetings like Alanon and Naranon, go asap. find a recovery center in your area, see if they have therapy/counseling for family members. That is what I am currently doing. It does start to take the edge off and you start trying to get YOUR life back.
If you keep reading you will find we have all been thru this over and over. If you want your life to change, you need to make permanent changes. If you are not already going to meetings like Alanon and Naranon, go asap. find a recovery center in your area, see if they have therapy/counseling for family members. That is what I am currently doing. It does start to take the edge off and you start trying to get YOUR life back.
