Hi, everyone
I just wanted to let you know that you probably won't see me posting as much on here. I'm going to try to stay away a little because I feel that spending time on here is making his addiction the FOCUS of my life which isn't fair to me or my family. I KNOW I will still need you guys and I appreciate MUCH MORE THAN MY WORDS CAN EVER EXPRESS how much you have done for me with your kindness, support and love. I am definitely NOT leaving for good, just easing off and didn't want you to worry. Please be assured that you will all continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. God bless!
Much love,
Susan
Susan, your son is truly fortunate -- and it is obvious that you feel truly fortunate to have your son in your life. I feel the same way with mine.
Some go away and only call a couple of times and year -- you know, mother and father's day, birthday and Christmas. At least my son wants us to be around him and him around us, which is a blessing.
I just have to figure out how to make the relationship healthy -- for him and for me -- and then how to maintain it that way. Like with our other adult children.
I guess we never finish fathering and mothering them. And they never finish calling on us for help. And they are our children and we are their parents forever.
God bless you in your work -- we will miss your work here on this message board, talking with and helping and comforting those you don't even know. You know, it's an act of love to reach out and help others who have no way of repaying you. I'm going to Mass this afternoon -- you know, I've got to go have a talk with my Higher Power -- and I have not idea whether you are Catholic or not, but I'm going to light a candle and say a prayer for you, your son and the rest of your family. Please include mine in your prayers.
You know, disconnecting here a bit is an act of detachment -- healthy in any relationships, even those whose faces we've never seen. Please, at least let us know if you and your husband were able to make a meeting.
Write when you can.
Some go away and only call a couple of times and year -- you know, mother and father's day, birthday and Christmas. At least my son wants us to be around him and him around us, which is a blessing.
I just have to figure out how to make the relationship healthy -- for him and for me -- and then how to maintain it that way. Like with our other adult children.
I guess we never finish fathering and mothering them. And they never finish calling on us for help. And they are our children and we are their parents forever.
God bless you in your work -- we will miss your work here on this message board, talking with and helping and comforting those you don't even know. You know, it's an act of love to reach out and help others who have no way of repaying you. I'm going to Mass this afternoon -- you know, I've got to go have a talk with my Higher Power -- and I have not idea whether you are Catholic or not, but I'm going to light a candle and say a prayer for you, your son and the rest of your family. Please include mine in your prayers.
You know, disconnecting here a bit is an act of detachment -- healthy in any relationships, even those whose faces we've never seen. Please, at least let us know if you and your husband were able to make a meeting.
Write when you can.
Dear Bob,
I am Catholic and happy being Catholic most of the time. Once in a while I've run into a self-rightous one, but they are a minority in my world. I very much appreciate your lighting a candle and offering prayers for us...that is sustaining us, I know this. I most definitely will keep you, your son, and your family in my prayers. I'm not good at the detaching thing, but I feel I need to try so that I can start to get MY life back....not selfishly either...I haven't been going to check on my mom as much or doing fun stuff with my girls....it's all been about my son and helping him lately. Your posts on detachment probably helped me to realize I needed to try this. Gosh! I don't think I'm going to do well because I miss you guys already!!! lol
I truly think you're an amazing man...always trying to find words and tools to help people and doing it in a gentle, caring way. May God bless you for all you do for the people on this board!
My email is devangreb@aol.com if you need to reach me and I'm not on.
Love,
Susan
I am Catholic and happy being Catholic most of the time. Once in a while I've run into a self-rightous one, but they are a minority in my world. I very much appreciate your lighting a candle and offering prayers for us...that is sustaining us, I know this. I most definitely will keep you, your son, and your family in my prayers. I'm not good at the detaching thing, but I feel I need to try so that I can start to get MY life back....not selfishly either...I haven't been going to check on my mom as much or doing fun stuff with my girls....it's all been about my son and helping him lately. Your posts on detachment probably helped me to realize I needed to try this. Gosh! I don't think I'm going to do well because I miss you guys already!!! lol
I truly think you're an amazing man...always trying to find words and tools to help people and doing it in a gentle, caring way. May God bless you for all you do for the people on this board!
My email is devangreb@aol.com if you need to reach me and I'm not on.
Love,
Susan
The candle was tall and big enough to last a week -- it wasn't just one of those little votives.
Big prayers, big candles. Many blessings from our prayers.
By the way, in working the 12 Steps they say that our Higher Power can be anyone or any group that we want it to be. Just make a decision to rely on someone with a power bigger than ourselves -- and the Higher Power will help us through the steps to regain our sanity.
I really don't have a devotion to Mary -- never really cultivated one, but so many people I know do and I really respect those who do. So I figured, what the heck, since I can choose anyone I want who has more power than me, I'll choose Mary, Mother of Jesus, as my Higher Power -- after all she was a real person (kinda like me), she had a son (like me), she watched him suffer, only to survive the suffering in a big way (as I hope my son does), she's alive in heaven and for all eternity (I believe that) and she has a lot more power than me, after all God chose her to change the course of human history and bear the savior of the world -- and she totally surrendered her will to His in a most profound way.
Who knows, Susan, I may end up with a devotion to Mary after all out of all this comotion, suffering and agony.
Wouldn't that be something ?
Big prayers, big candles. Many blessings from our prayers.
By the way, in working the 12 Steps they say that our Higher Power can be anyone or any group that we want it to be. Just make a decision to rely on someone with a power bigger than ourselves -- and the Higher Power will help us through the steps to regain our sanity.
I really don't have a devotion to Mary -- never really cultivated one, but so many people I know do and I really respect those who do. So I figured, what the heck, since I can choose anyone I want who has more power than me, I'll choose Mary, Mother of Jesus, as my Higher Power -- after all she was a real person (kinda like me), she had a son (like me), she watched him suffer, only to survive the suffering in a big way (as I hope my son does), she's alive in heaven and for all eternity (I believe that) and she has a lot more power than me, after all God chose her to change the course of human history and bear the savior of the world -- and she totally surrendered her will to His in a most profound way.
Who knows, Susan, I may end up with a devotion to Mary after all out of all this comotion, suffering and agony.
Wouldn't that be something ?
Dear Susan, I am wishing you well on your journey! Your son has a lot of love and support in you, I hope that he does well. Please enjoy the days where he is well, as I imagine you must cherish them already whole heartedly. Rememeber there is always a place when you need to check in! All the best, D
Hey, Dora, hang in there -- I know it's a dark or at least a dim day for you. Just please know that you are not alone in your grief. Prayer, coupled with un-invited suffering, is a very powerful force -- please pray for those who are struggling to stay clean and for their families -- and for the grace to recognize our powerlessness over these substances and chemicals. Including me, my son, Brian, and our family.
In my religous tradition, we find it useful and advantageous to pray for the deceased and if you don't mind, I'll offer a prayer for your boyfriend and for you and your families tonite.
In my religous tradition, we find it useful and advantageous to pray for the deceased and if you don't mind, I'll offer a prayer for your boyfriend and for you and your families tonite.
Thank you Bob, I will read those prayers before I go to bed tonight. My experiences that I have had in the last 6 years has left me much more compassionate and realistic as to addiction, obviously heroin addiction. I will pray for those who are trying, struggling to stay clean, as well as those who love them as I know it is hard, (understatement). Thanks for reaching out, Dora
P.S. I forgot what thread it was on though your son sounds like he is advancing, I am happy for him, for you and the rest of your family. It requires work on both ends to arrest addiction. I beleive you are doing a great job, the best you can do. Have a good night, Dora
P.S. I forgot what thread it was on though your son sounds like he is advancing, I am happy for him, for you and the rest of your family. It requires work on both ends to arrest addiction. I beleive you are doing a great job, the best you can do. Have a good night, Dora
Hi Dora, Just left you a message that I posted earlier in the AM on Detachment, tell me more. Hi Bob B. My bf just called to appoligize for being rude about a message he left me earlier. Didn't answer it..Oh, my, am I tired of this stuff. I'd just rather listen to some light jazz, listen to the dishwasher run, and cool it. Well, maybe a light Scotch on the rocks and groove to it. Tomorrow is another day. I know I'll hear from him.. I'm the only woman he has been in touch with for 7 years. I guess he's been in a cave. Of course he likes me, retired, going back to work, nice house (BTW that my husband and I had lived in for over 20 + years, and I reminded him of that). This is just so crazy. I guess I better get some sack time.....gotta get mom to the DMV for a renewal of her drivers permit. You guys have a good evening, and I'll check back with you tomorrow sometime. Blessings to all of you. Thanks for all of your advice and guidance. :-)
lots of luv back to you there, hh.