Everyone
I just thought I would throw my two cents into the ring too. Liz has her reasons and right to do whatever she sees fit, just as we all do. I have known Liz for several weeks now. She is really a very sweet, loving, and caring person.
When she first came on the board it was controversial and then once they got to know her they welcomed her with open arms. She responded back with the Liz that I know...kind and loving. It was not long after that, someone, who remembers, said something really unfair to her. Liz is not the kind of person to just brush off a full blow to the face. She will come back swinging.
This is a board for recovery, everyone here hurts. I wish I had the answers for everyones problems, but heck I can't take care of my own. I only wish that we could turn back the hands of time or at least go back and read some old posts back when Liz first came on the board. I think you would see that Liz is a really cool person, she always has been wonderful to me and I consider her a good friend.
Those of you that don't know Liz, do yourself a favor and get to know her. It is worth your time, she will be a friend that you don't want to ever lose.
Clancy
Clancy,
I think your a very nice person as well and I agree with you. I also had my little dispute or two with Liz and she was more than willing as was I to let it go and become friends. I am glad we met, as a matter of fact I'm glad I met everyone.
I agree with what the program says, we may not like everyone but we do love eachother in a special way.
Take care...................................God bless........................................Bob
I think your a very nice person as well and I agree with you. I also had my little dispute or two with Liz and she was more than willing as was I to let it go and become friends. I am glad we met, as a matter of fact I'm glad I met everyone.
I agree with what the program says, we may not like everyone but we do love eachother in a special way.
Take care...................................God bless........................................Bob
Thanks Bob,
Just wondering...as far as this board is concerned. You have been on here since February I see, so you have had a lot of experiences with a lot of different people and situations on here. You have, no doubt, had situations where you didn't agree with the persons opinion or they didn't agree with your opinions. Sometimes in the disagreements, things get personal, the attacks or just comments hurt because they do become personal.
My question is this: and it goes to everyone on this board really that has been here awhile and had those dealings with total strangers hurting your feelings. How do you continue on here day after day when you get hurt, hammered over and over again without finally just saying f it, it just isn't worth it, I don't need this aggravation anymore? I mean, here you are...totally clean, you've gone through it and other than the satisfaction you get when someone does get clean...how do you get over the hurt feelings and the frustration and pain that comes with it? What is the secret? These people are total strangers and even though they become "friends" as much as they can, given that this is a computer, are they really friends? How can you trust what they say is true and that you are not being scammed the entire time? ( I guess I have two questions instead of one)
So, I guess I just basically want to know how you keep the skin so thick that you don't get hurt, yet not so thick that you can be sensitive and feeling to the needs of the people reaching out for help?
Will really be interested in your reply. It's tough "putting yourself out there" setting yourself up to get hammered (or loved). Cause even the nicest person can be the target of a cyber-meanie! How have you lasted this long? And from what I am putting together, your wife is on her too helping, so this goes to you both.
Thanks in advance for the help!
Clancy
Just wondering...as far as this board is concerned. You have been on here since February I see, so you have had a lot of experiences with a lot of different people and situations on here. You have, no doubt, had situations where you didn't agree with the persons opinion or they didn't agree with your opinions. Sometimes in the disagreements, things get personal, the attacks or just comments hurt because they do become personal.
My question is this: and it goes to everyone on this board really that has been here awhile and had those dealings with total strangers hurting your feelings. How do you continue on here day after day when you get hurt, hammered over and over again without finally just saying f it, it just isn't worth it, I don't need this aggravation anymore? I mean, here you are...totally clean, you've gone through it and other than the satisfaction you get when someone does get clean...how do you get over the hurt feelings and the frustration and pain that comes with it? What is the secret? These people are total strangers and even though they become "friends" as much as they can, given that this is a computer, are they really friends? How can you trust what they say is true and that you are not being scammed the entire time? ( I guess I have two questions instead of one)
So, I guess I just basically want to know how you keep the skin so thick that you don't get hurt, yet not so thick that you can be sensitive and feeling to the needs of the people reaching out for help?
Will really be interested in your reply. It's tough "putting yourself out there" setting yourself up to get hammered (or loved). Cause even the nicest person can be the target of a cyber-meanie! How have you lasted this long? And from what I am putting together, your wife is on her too helping, so this goes to you both.
Thanks in advance for the help!
Clancy
Clancy:
I try to ignore the disrespectful posts. Twice, I've reacted. I apologized because that's not why I'm here. I love some of these people and I feel like I know them. Practicing a program, you have to let things go and not get wrapped up in the drama. I post to the people I relate to or that I think I can share something with or they can share something with me. The board went a little haywire, and it became personalities before principles, but that's not why we're here, right? Most people on this board have at one time or another helped me in their own way. They probably don't even realize it.
Rach
I try to ignore the disrespectful posts. Twice, I've reacted. I apologized because that's not why I'm here. I love some of these people and I feel like I know them. Practicing a program, you have to let things go and not get wrapped up in the drama. I post to the people I relate to or that I think I can share something with or they can share something with me. The board went a little haywire, and it became personalities before principles, but that's not why we're here, right? Most people on this board have at one time or another helped me in their own way. They probably don't even realize it.
Rach
Hi Clancy,
Well for me, first of all I mainly do face to face recovery. I go to meetings, have a sponsor and alot of good friends in the program. I also have a great relationship with my wife, we're best friends as well as husband and wife. I'm involved with my kids who are great and I'm in a band with a couple guys from A.A.. This on-line recovery is a small part of my life. I do value the friends I've made here and have learned alot here. I've gotten alot out of the arguments here
because it has taught me how to really apply the steps in my life. I used to and still do get upset when alot of the s--t happens here like it does and probably always will. It has really made me take a look at myself, and how I work the program even more than face to face. I mean the petty s--t that happens here really doesn't happen in my life outside the puter. So, I really can put some things into action more here than anywhere. Like, letting go, or asking myself how important is it etc... And yes I have made some real good friends. People I talk with outside of this board. But mainly I come here for me. Usually the advice I give or the help I try to give is kind of like talking to myself. I need to hear these things too. Thats why I refuse to get involved in the pettyness that goes on here anymore, I used to, big time. It drove me nuts, it still can if I let it.
But I don't have time for it anymore, I never did, I sure wouldn't put up with it face to face. So I come here and try and share my experiance strength and hope, if it helps even just one person then thats great, but it always helps me.
I hope that answers your question, I have a habit sometimes of rambling a bit!
lol As far as how do I know if people are sincere or not, I don't, I trust people, sometimes too much, I'm honest, and can only hope the next person is. If not then at least I know I was. I try to treat people right and always give the benifit
of the doubt. I've said some mean things here in anger too, I'm not proud of it,
but I've learned from it, and thats whats important. I wish I could take some things back, but I can't so I'll move on, try not to repeat my mistakes and even
though I wish I could take some things back, I'm grateful for the lessons I learned from making them. Hope that made sence.
Take care.....................................God bless........................................Bob
Well for me, first of all I mainly do face to face recovery. I go to meetings, have a sponsor and alot of good friends in the program. I also have a great relationship with my wife, we're best friends as well as husband and wife. I'm involved with my kids who are great and I'm in a band with a couple guys from A.A.. This on-line recovery is a small part of my life. I do value the friends I've made here and have learned alot here. I've gotten alot out of the arguments here
because it has taught me how to really apply the steps in my life. I used to and still do get upset when alot of the s--t happens here like it does and probably always will. It has really made me take a look at myself, and how I work the program even more than face to face. I mean the petty s--t that happens here really doesn't happen in my life outside the puter. So, I really can put some things into action more here than anywhere. Like, letting go, or asking myself how important is it etc... And yes I have made some real good friends. People I talk with outside of this board. But mainly I come here for me. Usually the advice I give or the help I try to give is kind of like talking to myself. I need to hear these things too. Thats why I refuse to get involved in the pettyness that goes on here anymore, I used to, big time. It drove me nuts, it still can if I let it.
But I don't have time for it anymore, I never did, I sure wouldn't put up with it face to face. So I come here and try and share my experiance strength and hope, if it helps even just one person then thats great, but it always helps me.
I hope that answers your question, I have a habit sometimes of rambling a bit!
lol As far as how do I know if people are sincere or not, I don't, I trust people, sometimes too much, I'm honest, and can only hope the next person is. If not then at least I know I was. I try to treat people right and always give the benifit
of the doubt. I've said some mean things here in anger too, I'm not proud of it,
but I've learned from it, and thats whats important. I wish I could take some things back, but I can't so I'll move on, try not to repeat my mistakes and even
though I wish I could take some things back, I'm grateful for the lessons I learned from making them. Hope that made sence.
Take care.....................................God bless........................................Bob
Bob:
Good point about this stuff doesn't happen in our daily life just on the computer. I tell my friends in recovery some of this s## that happens and they don't understand why I keep coming back. I obviously gain more from the good in what people share than the stuff I don't agree with. I believe in the people who are honest here, the ones who share their experience, strength and hope. I believe they are true about who they say they are.
Rach
Good point about this stuff doesn't happen in our daily life just on the computer. I tell my friends in recovery some of this s## that happens and they don't understand why I keep coming back. I obviously gain more from the good in what people share than the stuff I don't agree with. I believe in the people who are honest here, the ones who share their experience, strength and hope. I believe they are true about who they say they are.
Rach
Bob
Yeah that helps me alot. At least now I know how to try and conduct myself here at all times. I want to always be a positive influence. Right now I am a beginner but hope to eventually want to move up the ranks into the "crew"!!!
IF I last that long! I am very thin skinned and super sensitive, I get hurt very easy, which is why I asked for some advice.
I haven't had maybe as much drug related experience as some, but have had enough to know that I had enough!!!!!!
So, thanks for the input. Would be interested in any other people's thoughts and input if they're willing to share, think it might be helpful to more than just me.
Thanks
Clancy
Yeah that helps me alot. At least now I know how to try and conduct myself here at all times. I want to always be a positive influence. Right now I am a beginner but hope to eventually want to move up the ranks into the "crew"!!!
IF I last that long! I am very thin skinned and super sensitive, I get hurt very easy, which is why I asked for some advice.
I haven't had maybe as much drug related experience as some, but have had enough to know that I had enough!!!!!!
So, thanks for the input. Would be interested in any other people's thoughts and input if they're willing to share, think it might be helpful to more than just me.
Thanks
Clancy
Hi Marie and Clancy,
Just wanted to tell you guys that you should get Yahoo Instant messenger so we can chat through IM's.
Well, off to bed. Good night everyone.
Liz
Just wanted to tell you guys that you should get Yahoo Instant messenger so we can chat through IM's.
Well, off to bed. Good night everyone.
Liz
I think I'm going to throw up.
Live:
I'm sorry you are feeling ill. What day are you on? Is it the nausea from the withdrawals? It does get better. I promise you that. Keep posting, it helps.
Peace,
Rachel
I'm sorry you are feeling ill. What day are you on? Is it the nausea from the withdrawals? It does get better. I promise you that. Keep posting, it helps.
Peace,
Rachel
Yeah Live,
Keep posting, those wd's can be real rough.
Have a great night, :o)
Keep posting, those wd's can be real rough.
Have a great night, :o)
Actually it's been a number of years since I've gone through withdrawal... my feeling sick to my stomach stems from all of the butt kissing going on.
You people are amazing...this "person", whoever she is calling herself these days (way to go with the whole honesty thing), has maligned, and hurt good people and has made a mockery of this board. You are doing nothing more than encouraging her behavior. This is not going to help her with her recovery in the long run. She is like a spoiled child that has parents who allow her to act like a brat and then tell her that she's justified in her horrible treatment of innocent victims.
Please, do her a favor and call her on her bulls*** if you want to help her.
And Liz...you said you were leaving, several times as a matter of fact, unfortunatly for us, you'll be back, because again, you have a problem with honesty and apparently integrety.
You people are amazing...this "person", whoever she is calling herself these days (way to go with the whole honesty thing), has maligned, and hurt good people and has made a mockery of this board. You are doing nothing more than encouraging her behavior. This is not going to help her with her recovery in the long run. She is like a spoiled child that has parents who allow her to act like a brat and then tell her that she's justified in her horrible treatment of innocent victims.
Please, do her a favor and call her on her bulls*** if you want to help her.
And Liz...you said you were leaving, several times as a matter of fact, unfortunatly for us, you'll be back, because again, you have a problem with honesty and apparently integrety.
Dear live,
Although I agree with 99.9 percent or what you have said I however have taken a break and sometime to think about this whole situation and I have arrived at one important conclusion. I have to decide if I can allow one persons personality and their ability to act on it (and get away with it) to keep me from reaching out and helping others. The sad fact is that for the last several days, it has. I have wanted to post to some and I have second guessed myself for fear of getting slammed and 'yelled' at by you know who and .....otheres well I simply have a decision to make. But that decision is mine and mine alone.
I think (and I dont mean to be mean here but) your last sentence was a tad over the line. I think you may be just keeping the flames burning. If clancy is right and I think that she is about Liz not taking critism or what she may see as a direct attack lightly then this will just provoke more of what has been going on and create a tug or war with her friends on one side and others on the other and the one that feeds on the attention in the middle..... well I just am left questioning my own abilities to reach people and it all started and my be ended by one person .
someone said to me that I shouldnt let this bother me but it does and it will ... I t is not about being mad it is about not knowing my own way any more and that hasnt happen in all the time that I have been clean and sponsoring people and all it took was one very angery hate filled person and one self proclaimed .... well any way...
live please dont let the same thing happen to you that has happen to me... if you can help others then help and if you need help then ask and there are others here that can help but try not to get in the middle of all this other garbage... it will steal your joy. Take my word for it.. and all people will remember of you is this one inicident and they will forget any good you may have done...
just my thoughts...
teresa
Although I agree with 99.9 percent or what you have said I however have taken a break and sometime to think about this whole situation and I have arrived at one important conclusion. I have to decide if I can allow one persons personality and their ability to act on it (and get away with it) to keep me from reaching out and helping others. The sad fact is that for the last several days, it has. I have wanted to post to some and I have second guessed myself for fear of getting slammed and 'yelled' at by you know who and .....otheres well I simply have a decision to make. But that decision is mine and mine alone.
I think (and I dont mean to be mean here but) your last sentence was a tad over the line. I think you may be just keeping the flames burning. If clancy is right and I think that she is about Liz not taking critism or what she may see as a direct attack lightly then this will just provoke more of what has been going on and create a tug or war with her friends on one side and others on the other and the one that feeds on the attention in the middle..... well I just am left questioning my own abilities to reach people and it all started and my be ended by one person .
someone said to me that I shouldnt let this bother me but it does and it will ... I t is not about being mad it is about not knowing my own way any more and that hasnt happen in all the time that I have been clean and sponsoring people and all it took was one very angery hate filled person and one self proclaimed .... well any way...
live please dont let the same thing happen to you that has happen to me... if you can help others then help and if you need help then ask and there are others here that can help but try not to get in the middle of all this other garbage... it will steal your joy. Take my word for it.. and all people will remember of you is this one inicident and they will forget any good you may have done...
just my thoughts...
teresa
Hi Teresa,
So glad you are still here. I hope you are doing well. . Yes, I have to agree with you on one point. It's all about recovery. We're all learning right? Keep posting. It will do you good.
Liz
So glad you are still here. I hope you are doing well. . Yes, I have to agree with you on one point. It's all about recovery. We're all learning right? Keep posting. It will do you good.
Liz
Cowgirl:
You summed it all up in one word INTEGRITY! It takes true integrity to be truthful with yourself and others. I believe that integrity must be a part of a person's internal foundation to live a healthy, happy, honest life. Yes we all have our bumps in the road, some greater than others at time. Thats when we need our loved ones and friends around to see that we maintain that integrity for ourselves and them. Anyway, several times a day, every day of my life, I constantly give myself an integrity check. Maybe others should too.
By the way you're awesome and such an inspiration. You keep me alive!
Love
T
You summed it all up in one word INTEGRITY! It takes true integrity to be truthful with yourself and others. I believe that integrity must be a part of a person's internal foundation to live a healthy, happy, honest life. Yes we all have our bumps in the road, some greater than others at time. Thats when we need our loved ones and friends around to see that we maintain that integrity for ourselves and them. Anyway, several times a day, every day of my life, I constantly give myself an integrity check. Maybe others should too.
By the way you're awesome and such an inspiration. You keep me alive!
Love
T
T..I appreciate your post, but I think you're a little confused....I haven't posted on this thread and for a very good reason. Please don't draw me into it now. lol
Hope you're having a good day.
Cowgirl
Hope you're having a good day.
Cowgirl
Yes, About honesty.
I've been accused of being so angry. To be honest there has been many times in the past that I allowed anger to get to me. I'm learning not to allow people or things to rent so much space in my head.
Takes much more intergrity to ignore certain post and that's what I intend to do. See, just like everybody that comes here. I'm growing and learning.
I've also realized that usually what we post. The message we try to push on to others is actually something we needed to hear ourselves.
Have a nice day everyone.
Liz
I've been accused of being so angry. To be honest there has been many times in the past that I allowed anger to get to me. I'm learning not to allow people or things to rent so much space in my head.
Takes much more intergrity to ignore certain post and that's what I intend to do. See, just like everybody that comes here. I'm growing and learning.
I've also realized that usually what we post. The message we try to push on to others is actually something we needed to hear ourselves.
Have a nice day everyone.
Liz
Cowgirl:
My comments were totally a definition of my beliefs for myself. I had no intention of causing any trouble. Sorry for any confusion on my part.
Have a great day!
T
My comments were totally a definition of my beliefs for myself. I had no intention of causing any trouble. Sorry for any confusion on my part.
Have a great day!
T
liz,
as far as 'keep posting it will do me good...' please... it will only do me good if I am allowed to post to others and not get slammed by you.... having said. that....
integrity is defined as this ... uprightness, honesty and sincerity.. I have never posted anything to anybody with anything other than the intent of help someone else including you.. you may not have took it that way and you may never see that but.,,, I am trying to see that that is on your side of the street not mine....
and lastly as far as pushing my message on others... that is something that even though it comes from you ... I will look at that... and see if it fits.. if it does I will try to change that or at least try to be less pushy... I never professed to be perfect...
(gee see how that works .. taking critisism and not get soooo mad that it is reduced to name calling and threats... wow)
any way... you obviously have many here to 'help' you and so I wish you luck with that... as for how I am doing... I will be fine ....
Teresa
as far as 'keep posting it will do me good...' please... it will only do me good if I am allowed to post to others and not get slammed by you.... having said. that....
integrity is defined as this ... uprightness, honesty and sincerity.. I have never posted anything to anybody with anything other than the intent of help someone else including you.. you may not have took it that way and you may never see that but.,,, I am trying to see that that is on your side of the street not mine....
and lastly as far as pushing my message on others... that is something that even though it comes from you ... I will look at that... and see if it fits.. if it does I will try to change that or at least try to be less pushy... I never professed to be perfect...
(gee see how that works .. taking critisism and not get soooo mad that it is reduced to name calling and threats... wow)
any way... you obviously have many here to 'help' you and so I wish you luck with that... as for how I am doing... I will be fine ....
Teresa
Hi Teresa,
Yes, not striking back is much nicer isn't it? I like to just try and ignore bad post. Does nobody any good to listen to people that have nothing but negativity to dish out. I for one rather be the person that is positive. My life is really getting good. Some of the promises has already been given to me.
To be calm and have so many friends in my corner is something I won't take for granted. I've learned as addicts, we're all pretty much the same. All trying to do the best we can. I honestly hope the best for everybody on this board. Glad to hear you are doing well. Have a great day.
Liz
Yes, not striking back is much nicer isn't it? I like to just try and ignore bad post. Does nobody any good to listen to people that have nothing but negativity to dish out. I for one rather be the person that is positive. My life is really getting good. Some of the promises has already been given to me.
To be calm and have so many friends in my corner is something I won't take for granted. I've learned as addicts, we're all pretty much the same. All trying to do the best we can. I honestly hope the best for everybody on this board. Glad to hear you are doing well. Have a great day.
Liz
