Morning Girlfriend, Pretty bleary eyed myself. My brain still doesn't function right. Kind of figured I had a dentisit appt; this a.m., but finally discovered the kids do to...have to miss school...and get this. They don't want to. I thought it was next Friday. Man they raised hell with me last night. But this office ain't none too bright...and they'll charge me if I cancel so close to the day. Twice I've taken work off only to find they don't have me scheduled. But I did cancel a same day. was jonsing like a *% day 5, and no way could I have someone poking around in my mouth. Sadi they'd charge me next time.
Pretty early here in the west. Not even 7:30 yet. Had a rough night...a lot of wakefulness. You? Well, better get in the shower, abd get the slugs, er I mean lazy boys moving. Plus gotta drop of the mom's laundry. I pick it up, wash it, then forget to take it to her. Pick up more and do the same thing. Poor thing...I've got nearly all her clothes now. She lives all the way across town. Hope you had a restful night. If this is your last weekend off, enjoy it. But I think you'll appreciate being busy when you go back to work in a way too. I know a return to the mundane can be a distraction. Keep in touch!
Beck
hey im just seeing your post now.had a really weird dream last night dreampt I jumped off the top of the CN tower and i wasnt afraid and I was falling slowly and I could see all of Toronto and the lake and all around it was wild then when I landed it was a really soft landing on my feet and I remember thinking I really shoulda been unrecognizable and then all these other people start landing all around me softly and it was like new years or something and this.was some kinda ritual REALLY WILD. I was thinking of posting it to see what kinda dream interpeters were out there Its one of those dreams that you think of all day you know what I mean.really jonesin today shaky like I did a bunch of beans or something.been busy doing my moms stuff and unfinished business todaytoo just got home I think utah time is the same as us here.when I think west time zone I think california or british coloumbia thats 3 hours behind.paid the last of my pill debt today promiced myself no more money on that crap.He says well if you need anything just drop by I couldnt get away fast enough you know how it is Im thinking Ill just grab 10 I can make them last now I wont do them all tonight.YA RIGHT.LOL Satan didnt get me that time.Ha Ha but man I was thinkin about it. Well Ill be checkin to see when you reply if anybody out there has any thoughts on that dream dont be shy.see ya Tracey
Yeah, that's some dream. I'm a dreamer...I dream of falling in slow motion a lot. Kind of softly bounce, although I'm susally just falling off my feet. I'm glad i dream...it's like nother life almost. Sorry to hear you're feeling bad today. I'm taking less and less of the lortab (only 1 today) and am almost out of the s*&^ I bought from the online pharms...so I'm feeling it too. But I'm taking a fraction of what I ws a month ago, plus no oxy. Nice lady named Rikki posting parts of a book about accidental addiciton. I sure can't make that claim. My foray into oxy was prescribed, but I'd read how addictive it was and knew I had a history. Didn't know it'd be like this. I actually refused it for months because of it...but fell into it eyes open. Stay tough Tracey. It'll only be worse next time. Yeah, your guy'll gladly take your money, with your soul attached. I met up with some friends from high school about 9 years ago. Stone cold heroin addicts, still living with mom. I'd been married 12 years, had a normal life, no drugs. I remember thinking man, I'd never fall into that. You're better then that too Tracey, I know you are. (The drugs I mean) And like me, people need you. I know it's rough...I gave up cigs 2 1/2 months ago too. Child support check bounced today...pissed me off. But waited it out. Blared some music...now I'm o.k. I know it must be hard having somewhere to pick it up. I cut my supply. Save your money hon. Do something good for yourself instead for a change. God Bless...I'll check back later. Kids are at sleep-overs tonight. Just hanging out.
what exactly is loritab is it like tylenol 3s ive never heard of it just seen on the news some new orleans pain clinic got busted I guess the undercover cop saw the doc the doc said whats wrong with you the cop says nothing and the doc gives him a script for a bunch of stuff I dont get it stupid doc or stupid me? Theres no such a clinic like that in can you have to be refered to a pain specialist by your family doc here and you better be on deaths doorstep.no narcotics are given at any walk in clinic here either;.I just couldnt believe the cop got a script when he said nothing was wrong I mean dont you say something to at least make it look legit? I thought the US was more strict on drugs than can .I was in New York 2 summers ago and I had a major headache so I hit the pharmacy for some tylenol 1s you can buy them over the counter here they have 8mgs of codine in them and I couldnt get them there over the counter so I had to settle for excederen so I was surprized when I saw that.
A General Practicioner, or regular family doc can prescribe, the walk in clinincs I guess, any assortment can. I've always had some pretty serious back problems...was told at 21 I needed a fusion. Wasn't until the last 3 years or so I became so controlled by them. That was part of my problem. Had the same dr. for 15 years and he felt he could trust me as I wasn't always hitting on him. He put me on the oxy...then left to work with the elderly and terminal patients. Referred my to another dr. in the office who would keep treating the chronic pain. By then I was pretty far gone. Lortab is hydrocodone. Oxycontin is oxycodone, it's much stronger, more menacing cousin. Never got hooked on the lortab...vicodin is the same I think. Percoset or percodan has oxycodone. When I was young and abused drugs recreationally, (before I was hooked) it was the class A pharm's like morphine or diladad. Of course that stuff is hard to get, so didn't use much. But turned to stronger stuff for a couple of years in my early 20's. Now my ex mainly was a weed smoker so when I met him I quit doing anything but that. Even drinking. Gave up the green with the kids. It would be tough not to buy codeine all the time. I was prescribed #4's (not sure of mg content...pretty strong) before my fusion. Didn't use except occasionally after that, when I reallly had pain I'd get prescription. What got you using oxy's? Are they pretty expensive? I hear they are.
ya hurt my back at work got turned on to the tylenol 1s then went to doc cause pain so bad got tylenol 3s used them for years then they stopped working doc gave me perks then oxys then he wasnt giving me enough I started to have too buy them Im doing 80s now 20 dollars a pill off the street Im up to doing 8 a daythats like a 200 dollar a day habit unreal time to stop my finances are f***ed dont know how I made it this far Im in alot of debt done things I never would have ever if I didnt have this stupid addiction now I have too claw out of it have to stay clean have too.doc gives me 40s + perks he has no idea of the extent of my use to embarrassed to tell him I just have to stop you know no doubt about it.
Yes, we both do. I ran up a lot on the on-line pharm's too. Plus even with insurance I spent quite a bit on prescriptions. Hang on Tracey...I can hear your hurting and unsure. It takes so damn long I know. It's not like heroin...a week and you're done.(With the w/d) The longer you've used, the longer it'll take. My central nervous system is so out of whack, I'm giving myself awhile before I'm anywhere normal. Oh well, never was. I know how tempted you are...stay from that POS you score off of. he's sh*&. Do what you need to...don't buy anymore. I know how hard it is. Please hang on. It'll get better. Not much help here sometimes, huh?
I told my dr. I quit the oxy. Didn't tell him how bad I'd abused...just said I'd thrown them away. Now I can't get them. I was too embarrassed to. Don't know him well at all. Just to pick up the paper. Miss my old dr. Him I maybe would have told...don't know. Just knew I needed to cut the supply. He gave me something to sleep on the 1st couple of weeks. That helped a lot. I'm out now and losing sleep, but getting by. Life is very hard now...I out of the house like 96 hours in 4 days, everyone wants a piece of me it seems like. I know how you feel. We'll get better though. I just know it. You can pull out Tracey. Just don't give up. Ever. Let me know how I can help. If you'd like to email me direct it's rrose9@aol.com. Love Beck
ya like I said feel really anxious thought that would of gone away by now but Its gonna take along time guess im not used to feeling so awake I dont know when I had that flu I didnt crave them the same as I do now but then I didnt crave smokes either guess its the same.gotta go pick my daughter up from work be back in about half hour.Tracey
ok back now I was gonna ask you how much they were there on the street Im surprized nobody has any interpetations on that dream .what strenth did your doc have you on?just had another phone call everone getting there scrips at the same time ,just let it ring.holy s*** what is this a friggen conspearasy.I know I spelled it wrong. big word for me today lol
I was prescribed 60 mg's twice per day. Of course I took the majority in the 1st couple of weeks, thre at the end anyway and began to run out and suffer w/d. I'd get 40''s and 20';. my last script I ate all the 20's in a week...and made a good dent in the 40's to. I'm so glad i didn't know anyone else getting any.(Is this what you mean about everyone getting theirs...do they try to sell to you?) Just had another call from the on-line pharm...said i want you to stop calling. The guy said o.k. But I just realized I'dd be hustling for this month's refills...counting the days on teh calendar, trying to come up with a new line on why I need them a week early...all teh bull. SO glad...SO glad I'm not having to do this this month. Plus Tracey, I felt like S*** last week. I remember I cried all Saturday. Terrianne and Sammy were very kind to me that morning. Seemed to round some small corner at 3 weeks. And am hoping the month mark next week will be even easier. SO any stresses, but they don't go anywhere high or not. People trying to sell to you if you've told them you don't want any are trying to drag you down. I saw a lot of that. If someone says I want something better, boy they'll do anything to keep you where they are. Stay away from them if you can. Revel in your kids. Had agreat day with mine. Ate, shopped laughed...w/o any interference of when and where to take the next dose. It's not like I didn't think about it...especially when I ate a huge meal. Usually I'd wait until I'd had a big dose. Hang on girl. It ois a conspiracy...by the devil himsself. Pray for strenght...He'll answer. Pray alot. He'll hear. Let Him know you're powerless w/o Him. I know I am. Love B
ya I didnt answer the phone and ya its people getting there scripts but thier not gonna make anymore money off me they will be hurting this month lol. my kids well one is giving me huge problems right now and I have alot of anger coming out of me too I feel like I have super PMS this would definitely be a bad time for someone to start s*** with me cause I can feel it raging in me I know its wds and it will pass I dont feel like Im gonna sleep to well tonight and I love to sleep but that to will pass been listening to alot of music which is my first drug of choise nothing like music to sooth your soul.Tracey
True, music does so much for me. Taking a drive and playing it loud...it was the only thing that brought me relief in the 1st couple of days. Stay off htat phone. I'm sorry you've got a trouble kid. I know how hard that can be. You give your heart and soul and then a little more and they are always mad. This too shall pass. And I mean it Tracey...I think it's just a few days until things are looking up for you. I'm different then I was last week. Hopeful a little maybe? It'll get better...I know the depression and loneliness, feeling like noone cares. Well we do and we know just how you feel. While you're alone in your home, not in your heart. Hang on a little longer. Give it another week. You're doing so well. I'm proud of you and I bet your kids are too!
Im proud of you too.