Hello All
I hope everyone is okay...sorry, i havent been around for a while....I did read all your repies to my last message, thanks evryone who posted something.
I am not looking forwad to Christmas, as it will be the first one without my mum....everything will be a struggle...an i am very concerned that i will fall back into my old ways an use to blok out the constant memories of my mum and christmas.
Since I last posted, I have been seeing that girl a few times but made sure that i havent gone to the next step with her an stayed just friends, but even that hasnt been a good idea as I have found myself using far more that what i was in the summer.
I never ever have any money anymore an when i actualy get my giro, it is so small that i think, i may as well score an have at least one day of feeling 'good' rather than 13 days of just strugling along. So realy, if i look back obver the last 8 months, i am in no better position to the one i was in when i started to post on this board. Still a giro junkie, still using, an still wanting to be 'on it'. Also, I am seeing it as a treat rather than as a bad thing. The stupid thing is - I know all of the answers, i know how to stop it, i know how to do all these things, ut i continue to f*** my life up. An im not geting any younger . So many times i have been told all this stuff, an so many times i have been saying these words, but STILL i am doing it. Am I some sort of idiot? Probably, yes.
I have been seeing my son a lot more latley an that, of all things, should make me not use, but even now, i still would rather go an score an spend every penny i have, than go take him out somewhere. That is bad i know, but it is the TRUTH.
On November the 5th (Firework Night) I took him to a display, there was a fair ther, but of course, I had no money for him 2 go on the rides. And I felt like such a useless basta** - "sorry son, but u cant go on the rides, u have to watch all the other kids instead, coz i spent all my money on HEROIN" - What a dad, huh?
"I wish i had a dad like yours" - i bet all the kids say that to him - NOT.
I started off trying to be positive in this post, but it has turned in the complete opposite direction. Sorry!
I seem to have been in this position too many times, but all I can say is the truth, ther is no point in lying, this is whats happening in my life at the moment. I can't lie to you all. What is the point?
The simple facts are -
I am still using, despite of everything.
I am in no better position to the one i was in at the start of the year.
I am still a usless father.
I am still feeling sorry for myself (!)
So what shall i do ?? What does the future hold ??
Who knows.
TINMAN ...
PS Hope you are all okay and in good health ;) An in a more positive mood than i am !
Luv Ya All xx
Tinman
Your future holds what you want it to hold. I feel for you in this. I really do. I feel for you son as well. Tinman I see that you wrote that you are still usuing in spite of everything. Do you want to really quit? I am not trying to be a negative here just want to know what your thoughts are on the whole situations.I know that you say that you are a bad father, But I believe that you can change that. You like everyone else in this world has a purpose. Sometimes it is staring us right in the face other times we have to search and search for that meaning. I believe that YOU can beat this but unfortunately the strenght to do so has to come from within you.. We out here can support you and help you and do all the behind the scenes things but you have to battle this out. I know that it is hard and I know that you probably feel a bit worthless at times. My sister, which is a addict, told me that she never has any self worth. If she only knew the worth that I put into her. But again that is not enough. It seems to me and I am not a addict but it seems to me that some addicts have that sense of worthlessness. I tired to make her understand that worth that she had through me. I asked her how would she feel if her one and only son was in the same situation as her and of course her reply was that she would hate it and would do everything to get him out of it and when I asked her why she told me because she loves him and he means the world to her. "HE MEANS THE WOLRD TO HER.." That is alot of worth right there let me tell you.. I want you to know that even though I do not know you that you have a lot of worth to a lot of people out there in this world I am sure. The #1 would be your son, I am sure you mean the world to him and even though he nor anyone other than you can stop this madness and you have to fight this battle. I can promise you that you have thousands upon thousands of troops behind you wishing you well and that will extend a hand to you in your time of need. I myself will sign up for that job position with you.. I can and will offer you support anytime that you are in need of it. You feel like times are tough I am sure and that it is a no win battle but let me tell you that there are others that have been where you are now and with faith, encouragement and the want to fight this they have beat it and are continuing to do so. All I am wanting you to know is that it is possible and that you have all of us out here rooting, pulling and praying for you on a daily bases.. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK!!!!! YOU CAN BEAT THIS!!! I wished that there was a overnight cure to this. But let me leave you with this "There is no shortcut to place worth going to in life." I wish you well and I expect to hear about my job position with you ASAP!! I am will to start as soon as possible.. I hope this brings some hope to you.. Give your son a hug and a kiss for me and tell him that he has the best Dad in the whole world.
Kristi
Your future holds what you want it to hold. I feel for you in this. I really do. I feel for you son as well. Tinman I see that you wrote that you are still usuing in spite of everything. Do you want to really quit? I am not trying to be a negative here just want to know what your thoughts are on the whole situations.I know that you say that you are a bad father, But I believe that you can change that. You like everyone else in this world has a purpose. Sometimes it is staring us right in the face other times we have to search and search for that meaning. I believe that YOU can beat this but unfortunately the strenght to do so has to come from within you.. We out here can support you and help you and do all the behind the scenes things but you have to battle this out. I know that it is hard and I know that you probably feel a bit worthless at times. My sister, which is a addict, told me that she never has any self worth. If she only knew the worth that I put into her. But again that is not enough. It seems to me and I am not a addict but it seems to me that some addicts have that sense of worthlessness. I tired to make her understand that worth that she had through me. I asked her how would she feel if her one and only son was in the same situation as her and of course her reply was that she would hate it and would do everything to get him out of it and when I asked her why she told me because she loves him and he means the world to her. "HE MEANS THE WOLRD TO HER.." That is alot of worth right there let me tell you.. I want you to know that even though I do not know you that you have a lot of worth to a lot of people out there in this world I am sure. The #1 would be your son, I am sure you mean the world to him and even though he nor anyone other than you can stop this madness and you have to fight this battle. I can promise you that you have thousands upon thousands of troops behind you wishing you well and that will extend a hand to you in your time of need. I myself will sign up for that job position with you.. I can and will offer you support anytime that you are in need of it. You feel like times are tough I am sure and that it is a no win battle but let me tell you that there are others that have been where you are now and with faith, encouragement and the want to fight this they have beat it and are continuing to do so. All I am wanting you to know is that it is possible and that you have all of us out here rooting, pulling and praying for you on a daily bases.. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK!!!!! YOU CAN BEAT THIS!!! I wished that there was a overnight cure to this. But let me leave you with this "There is no shortcut to place worth going to in life." I wish you well and I expect to hear about my job position with you ASAP!! I am will to start as soon as possible.. I hope this brings some hope to you.. Give your son a hug and a kiss for me and tell him that he has the best Dad in the whole world.
Kristi
Tinman
I forgot to mention this as well.. I know that you said that you are not looking forward to Christmas. And this may not help and I am sure that you already know this but your Mom would not want you to feel that way. I hope that you will be able to reflect on the good and positve things that you guys did on Christmas and it bring a happy moment to you.
Kristi
I forgot to mention this as well.. I know that you said that you are not looking forward to Christmas. And this may not help and I am sure that you already know this but your Mom would not want you to feel that way. I hope that you will be able to reflect on the good and positve things that you guys did on Christmas and it bring a happy moment to you.
Kristi
Oh tin tin--i feel for you i really do--this disease of addiction is such a downer!! I have heard many say if you arent finished--go on--go finish--you have to reach your proverbial "limit" or "bottom" I know i was ready for the end when i finally made a real decision to get clean and stay clean--you havent reached your personell bottom yet, we all have different limits. and some don't live long enough to hit our limit--as we have all seen recently with Kevin-may he R.I.P. i dont mean to seem so morbid, but it's true. and as far as your son--it's not gonna be the rides or the gifts or the lack of $ he remembers, it will be thw good time he had with his dad--or the bad time he had--so don;t mope around about things you cannot change--make it different, enjoy the things you can enjoy--sometimes ill plan a big day with my son and ill stress so much on how its going or how messed up our plans got rather than just enjoying the moment,the times i enjoy are often spent at the park playing-not woprrying about $ or anyone else--your son wants to see you happy--that will make him happy--beleive me he picks up on your guilt and remorse more than anyone else. i am glad you are letting out your true feelings--thats what this board is all about--not always "happy times" are expected--we are here from you and support you whether you feel good or feel bad
Tinman -
You have been incredibly honest and straightforward about where you're at - and that's never easy. I see this as great personal growth.
When I first started reading your posts, many of them were incredibly angry and some of them were barely readable. From my perspective you actually are in a better place than you were and I can hear it in your more recent posts. You are now considering how your son factors in to the equation a lot more than you used to; you are far more in tune with what you need and what's keeping you from getting there, and you are much more honest with a great deal less posturing and trash-talking - these are all signs of growth. I hear a maturity and acceptance that wasn't there before.
I'm sorry you feel so down on yourself and as a parent I understand how distressing it is to feel you've let your kid down. Each day brings a new opportunity for you to make the change and when you are fed up you'll make it.
I hope you find what you're looking for. May you find the strength to put it down and make for yourself and your son the life you both deserve.
Peace~MomNMore
You have been incredibly honest and straightforward about where you're at - and that's never easy. I see this as great personal growth.
When I first started reading your posts, many of them were incredibly angry and some of them were barely readable. From my perspective you actually are in a better place than you were and I can hear it in your more recent posts. You are now considering how your son factors in to the equation a lot more than you used to; you are far more in tune with what you need and what's keeping you from getting there, and you are much more honest with a great deal less posturing and trash-talking - these are all signs of growth. I hear a maturity and acceptance that wasn't there before.
I'm sorry you feel so down on yourself and as a parent I understand how distressing it is to feel you've let your kid down. Each day brings a new opportunity for you to make the change and when you are fed up you'll make it.
I hope you find what you're looking for. May you find the strength to put it down and make for yourself and your son the life you both deserve.
Peace~MomNMore
wow man, I hear ya. There was an old a** post brought up on the pain pills board the othe day that had one of my first posts on it, I was under a different name when I first found this site, and totally strung out, it was from Jan 2006, I got clean in feb of 2006, and stayed that way until last month, and here I am again fighting sickness every day and it took maybe a week for me to be back up to where I used to be when I was at my worst in 2004. Here it is 2008 almost, and I have been a heroin addict since 2001. Wow...
That sucks. Zero girl posted somthing that kinda woke me up. She said at her bottom she lost her kids and everything in her life, she is clean, but would still like to go out and get a bag... I've hit my bottom everytime I get clean, still end up relapsing... I think me and you are doing something wrong, maybe we don't want to quit? I know I hate this lifestyle, and I was alot happier sober so what's the allure? Being sober can be the pits, man, and for that hot second when your making youself better and you can actually get high for the whole five minutes you feel it before you need more, we feel on top of the world, but in all honesty it sucks doesn't it, and we really just want someone to pick us up smack us, and give us the quick fix to not wanting this s*** anymore, but I'm starting to realize after seven years of up and down and back again, that I'm never going to really stop wanting this, that when I was in the hospital dying in 2004, and my mom who was crying said to me, "you know you have f***ed yourself for the rest of your life, right?" That what she was saying wasn't out of fear, sadness, or regret, it was the god's honest truth. We have f***ed ourselves for the rest of our lives, but that doesn't mean we have to live like this for the rest of our lives. I think we're just missing something, I just can't figure out what it is yet.
That sucks. Zero girl posted somthing that kinda woke me up. She said at her bottom she lost her kids and everything in her life, she is clean, but would still like to go out and get a bag... I've hit my bottom everytime I get clean, still end up relapsing... I think me and you are doing something wrong, maybe we don't want to quit? I know I hate this lifestyle, and I was alot happier sober so what's the allure? Being sober can be the pits, man, and for that hot second when your making youself better and you can actually get high for the whole five minutes you feel it before you need more, we feel on top of the world, but in all honesty it sucks doesn't it, and we really just want someone to pick us up smack us, and give us the quick fix to not wanting this s*** anymore, but I'm starting to realize after seven years of up and down and back again, that I'm never going to really stop wanting this, that when I was in the hospital dying in 2004, and my mom who was crying said to me, "you know you have f***ed yourself for the rest of your life, right?" That what she was saying wasn't out of fear, sadness, or regret, it was the god's honest truth. We have f***ed ourselves for the rest of our lives, but that doesn't mean we have to live like this for the rest of our lives. I think we're just missing something, I just can't figure out what it is yet.
Hi Tinman
YOUVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME!
I've not been on here for some time. My little girl will be 18 next month and when I first posted on I wouldn't have believed she would still be using now. But we're still on our journey - Sarah on her's, Im on mine - same journey, just a different vehicle.
Please remember Tinman YOU were the one who gave me so much help and support and told me the truth about this evil addiction and said it as it is. You gave me so much hope that helped me to support Sarah over the last eleven months. I know you're probably thinking what does this have to do with you, but it has. You often related to mine and Sarah's relationship as much the same as you and your mum's and that's how I knew you understood our situation so well. I know this Christmas will be hard for you being the first without your mum, but like someone has already said to you; your mum wouldn't want you to feel the way you are about yourself. Dont use this an excuse to use either. You should remember the happy Christmas youve had with your mum in the past. Your mum knew with you, just like I do with Sarah, youre worthy of our love and support. I will be without Sarah this Christmas too, the first time ever - but through my journey I knew that things had reached a point where TOUGH LOVE was needed so I threw her out in September. Like Sarah and other addicts, you didn't ask for this demon to take hold of your life the way it has, you are just the same person you were before, the person who has come so far through your journey that youve at least reached a place where youve actually reflected the affect it has on your life and those around you. It's what the gear does to you, you can't control it, and until YOU reach the point where you want to change this, all anyone else can do is stand by you and support you. I see your post as you calling out for help though you probably wouldn't even have thought of it that way. Your son loves the same dad he's always loved. He has no perception of what that s*** does to your mind, but maybe he's the one who can make it all good for you. You can't get clean for him, or anyone else Tinman, you can only get clean for YOU. Then you can once again take control of your life and pick up where you left off. I believe you're mum is your guardian angel and she'll be watching over your shoulder, holding your hand all the way.
There are so many things that youve said that indicate just how far YOU HAVE come. At least youre telling the truth; youre not deceiving yourself or anyone else by making out you no longer use. I know you say you should spend the money on your son but instead youd rather spend it on gear but thats the hold the addiction forces you into, thats not your rational thinking. If that were the case you wouldnt even feel bad about scoring instead. You feel the guilt and shame that most parents feel at some time or another, for very different reasons. The one thing that is always obvious to anyone Tinman is the love you have for your son. He loves you so much too, so keep sight of that man. Dont beat yourself up about not being able to treat him with monetary things; your love is far more important. YOU ARE NOT A BAD DAD! Do you beat him or abuse him NO. You love him and hell always remember the times you have together, like your summer. Those pictures speak volumes!
I can tell you for sure all those so called perfect dads would give anything to have what you and your son have together.
You are feeling down and you are entitled to, youre in the middle of an incredibly difficult journey, a tough one at that some days harder than others. You are however an inspiration to many Tinman and you are always there to offer support. I am holding you in my thoughts as I do Sarah know you will get there.
BIG HUG 2 A SPECIAL GUY
LUV Christina x
YOUVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME!
I've not been on here for some time. My little girl will be 18 next month and when I first posted on I wouldn't have believed she would still be using now. But we're still on our journey - Sarah on her's, Im on mine - same journey, just a different vehicle.
Please remember Tinman YOU were the one who gave me so much help and support and told me the truth about this evil addiction and said it as it is. You gave me so much hope that helped me to support Sarah over the last eleven months. I know you're probably thinking what does this have to do with you, but it has. You often related to mine and Sarah's relationship as much the same as you and your mum's and that's how I knew you understood our situation so well. I know this Christmas will be hard for you being the first without your mum, but like someone has already said to you; your mum wouldn't want you to feel the way you are about yourself. Dont use this an excuse to use either. You should remember the happy Christmas youve had with your mum in the past. Your mum knew with you, just like I do with Sarah, youre worthy of our love and support. I will be without Sarah this Christmas too, the first time ever - but through my journey I knew that things had reached a point where TOUGH LOVE was needed so I threw her out in September. Like Sarah and other addicts, you didn't ask for this demon to take hold of your life the way it has, you are just the same person you were before, the person who has come so far through your journey that youve at least reached a place where youve actually reflected the affect it has on your life and those around you. It's what the gear does to you, you can't control it, and until YOU reach the point where you want to change this, all anyone else can do is stand by you and support you. I see your post as you calling out for help though you probably wouldn't even have thought of it that way. Your son loves the same dad he's always loved. He has no perception of what that s*** does to your mind, but maybe he's the one who can make it all good for you. You can't get clean for him, or anyone else Tinman, you can only get clean for YOU. Then you can once again take control of your life and pick up where you left off. I believe you're mum is your guardian angel and she'll be watching over your shoulder, holding your hand all the way.
There are so many things that youve said that indicate just how far YOU HAVE come. At least youre telling the truth; youre not deceiving yourself or anyone else by making out you no longer use. I know you say you should spend the money on your son but instead youd rather spend it on gear but thats the hold the addiction forces you into, thats not your rational thinking. If that were the case you wouldnt even feel bad about scoring instead. You feel the guilt and shame that most parents feel at some time or another, for very different reasons. The one thing that is always obvious to anyone Tinman is the love you have for your son. He loves you so much too, so keep sight of that man. Dont beat yourself up about not being able to treat him with monetary things; your love is far more important. YOU ARE NOT A BAD DAD! Do you beat him or abuse him NO. You love him and hell always remember the times you have together, like your summer. Those pictures speak volumes!
I can tell you for sure all those so called perfect dads would give anything to have what you and your son have together.
You are feeling down and you are entitled to, youre in the middle of an incredibly difficult journey, a tough one at that some days harder than others. You are however an inspiration to many Tinman and you are always there to offer support. I am holding you in my thoughts as I do Sarah know you will get there.
BIG HUG 2 A SPECIAL GUY
LUV Christina x
Hey Everyone
Thanks for all your support, especially you Christina - wher hav you been?? I missed you, I often thought about you an your daufghter an what had become of her/you/her addiction. Let me no what is going on with you an her if you want, i would like to hear.
Thanks again everone for supprting me, i really appreciate it. I have used about 3 times this week, which i know, is bad, an wish i didnt, but that life.
I am getting my son a bike for xmas 2 moro....at least that is a positive, move i suppose, i am borrowing the money off of my friedn an paying him back a tenner a week. I know that my boy wil be so happy, and surpised to get a bike from me. I cant wait to see his face. That will be better than any drug or buzz i ever had - i know that 4 sure.
Thanks Guyz
TINMAN
Thanks for all your support, especially you Christina - wher hav you been?? I missed you, I often thought about you an your daufghter an what had become of her/you/her addiction. Let me no what is going on with you an her if you want, i would like to hear.
Thanks again everone for supprting me, i really appreciate it. I have used about 3 times this week, which i know, is bad, an wish i didnt, but that life.
I am getting my son a bike for xmas 2 moro....at least that is a positive, move i suppose, i am borrowing the money off of my friedn an paying him back a tenner a week. I know that my boy wil be so happy, and surpised to get a bike from me. I cant wait to see his face. That will be better than any drug or buzz i ever had - i know that 4 sure.
Thanks Guyz
TINMAN
Hi Tinman
Ive missed you too man. Its been a hell of ride & Im still on my journey. I had another blow on top of Sarahs addiction. I separated from her dad (due to his alcohol addition) & stupidly thought that my leaving would shock him into doing something about it he did something alright, he found someone else, who Im told likes her booze as much as him. Totally devastated I began wondering what point there was going on, as my world was well & truly f***** up. Ill spare you the details but to date & the reason Im here is Sarah is still on the gear & although Ive thrown her out I still want to be around in the hope that one day shell get herself sorted. Shes still with her dealer boyfriend as far as Im aware.
Weve been through so many detox programmes with her that Ive lost count. The last detox was supposed to start in July when Sarahs drug worker, doctor, Sarah & myself had spent weeks organising her personal plan, even down to a prescription that looked like an essay. This was to allow us to spend a few days in Wales with family which meant Id have to take some subbis with me. It was the day she was due to start her detox & I was to pick her up after I finished work & go straight to the pharmacy. I phoned her to say I was about to leave & she told me she had something to tell me. My heart sank. I said youd better not be about to p**** me off Sarah. She assured me not. I picked her up & she informed me that she didnt want the subbis but she was to use methadone; a bottle of which she already had off her DEALER boyfriend. That f*** had played a blinder, to keep total control over her the b***** had talked her into using methadone, street methadone at that!!! Of course she didnt see it as that, all she thinks is he loves her & wants to do whats best for her. I went mad but she wasnt about to listen to me. Once again I felt as though Id been kicked in the stomach. Talk about de ja vuex. It took me the journey home to calm down & I just thought ok, maybe this is the way she needs to do it (kidding myself again).
She seemed to be taking the methadone but I had no control over the amount she was or should be taking. I was really worried so I called her drug worker. She totally freaked & explained that meth was harder than getting off heroin & confirmed my fears about the methods her so called boyfriend had used to keep her under his control. A few days on & Sarah said she had no urge to have any gear & she did stop injecting (well her arms were clean). Another few days on she was telling me she was clean! Yeh right! I then caught her smoking a spliff & challenged her about it. In her drug fuelled little head she somehow missed the point that the s*** she was putting in her rollie was f****** HEROIN. Just because she wasnt injecting she seemed to think it didnt count.
I've left it there for now as this is a long post. I'll let you have it by installments until I'm upto date.
I'm pleased you seem more positive and the bike sounds a great idea for your son. From the photo's you posted of him during the summer, he's sure going to break some hearts when he's older. What is so obvious to anyone from those photo's (which warmed my heart) is the love you have for each other. You can see how much he adores you. He truly is his dad's son.
I'll post the next installment tomorrow, but its late now and I've just finished sorting out a load of paperwork for my divorce lawyer. What do they do for their money???
Take care and I'll be back tomorrow
Luv Christina xx
Ive missed you too man. Its been a hell of ride & Im still on my journey. I had another blow on top of Sarahs addiction. I separated from her dad (due to his alcohol addition) & stupidly thought that my leaving would shock him into doing something about it he did something alright, he found someone else, who Im told likes her booze as much as him. Totally devastated I began wondering what point there was going on, as my world was well & truly f***** up. Ill spare you the details but to date & the reason Im here is Sarah is still on the gear & although Ive thrown her out I still want to be around in the hope that one day shell get herself sorted. Shes still with her dealer boyfriend as far as Im aware.
Weve been through so many detox programmes with her that Ive lost count. The last detox was supposed to start in July when Sarahs drug worker, doctor, Sarah & myself had spent weeks organising her personal plan, even down to a prescription that looked like an essay. This was to allow us to spend a few days in Wales with family which meant Id have to take some subbis with me. It was the day she was due to start her detox & I was to pick her up after I finished work & go straight to the pharmacy. I phoned her to say I was about to leave & she told me she had something to tell me. My heart sank. I said youd better not be about to p**** me off Sarah. She assured me not. I picked her up & she informed me that she didnt want the subbis but she was to use methadone; a bottle of which she already had off her DEALER boyfriend. That f*** had played a blinder, to keep total control over her the b***** had talked her into using methadone, street methadone at that!!! Of course she didnt see it as that, all she thinks is he loves her & wants to do whats best for her. I went mad but she wasnt about to listen to me. Once again I felt as though Id been kicked in the stomach. Talk about de ja vuex. It took me the journey home to calm down & I just thought ok, maybe this is the way she needs to do it (kidding myself again).
She seemed to be taking the methadone but I had no control over the amount she was or should be taking. I was really worried so I called her drug worker. She totally freaked & explained that meth was harder than getting off heroin & confirmed my fears about the methods her so called boyfriend had used to keep her under his control. A few days on & Sarah said she had no urge to have any gear & she did stop injecting (well her arms were clean). Another few days on she was telling me she was clean! Yeh right! I then caught her smoking a spliff & challenged her about it. In her drug fuelled little head she somehow missed the point that the s*** she was putting in her rollie was f****** HEROIN. Just because she wasnt injecting she seemed to think it didnt count.
I've left it there for now as this is a long post. I'll let you have it by installments until I'm upto date.
I'm pleased you seem more positive and the bike sounds a great idea for your son. From the photo's you posted of him during the summer, he's sure going to break some hearts when he's older. What is so obvious to anyone from those photo's (which warmed my heart) is the love you have for each other. You can see how much he adores you. He truly is his dad's son.
I'll post the next installment tomorrow, but its late now and I've just finished sorting out a load of paperwork for my divorce lawyer. What do they do for their money???
Take care and I'll be back tomorrow
Luv Christina xx
Tinman,
How you doing mate? Sorry only just posting. Obviously you probs read whats been going on. I have been readind posts still but maybe not replying to as many. Head being somewhere dark and gloomy (up my a**) lol.
Good to see your still around. Shame not so often but nice all the same.
You take care. Lynds xx
How you doing mate? Sorry only just posting. Obviously you probs read whats been going on. I have been readind posts still but maybe not replying to as many. Head being somewhere dark and gloomy (up my a**) lol.
Good to see your still around. Shame not so often but nice all the same.
You take care. Lynds xx
