Hi,
I usually share on the pain pill side, but I'm an alcoholic and since I posted this over there, I figured I'd post it here too. I kept it short and sweet, no need for war stories, we all have'em.
Hi, I'm Bob, and I'm an alcoholic/drug addict...( this is where you all say.."Hi Bob...lol )
I took my first drink at around 10 or 11 years old. I remember the night, the beer was Schaffer, cans, and I loved the taste. I was already in love with the atomsphere of a bar, due to being taken there with my dad as a kid. I already had all the ism's, didn't feel good about myself, low self asteem etc..
Anyway, I took a drink whenever I had the chance from that point on, which wasn't often till I hit 14. Then, being in a new neighborhood, I fell in with some kids trying to be cool, and started drinking on the weekends. I liked it right away because it gave me false courage, confidence, etc.. Along the way I picked up Cocaine and fell in love. This went on for years, then in 1995 I was introduced to pain pills and never looked back. Between 1984 and 2005 I tried to get sober a few times and did at one time actually get two years sober. But, Always being set in my ways and head strong and stubborn, always figured I could do things my way. Well, after a string of bad events, and horrible consequences on August 15th 2005 I drank my last drink and took my last drug.
I admitted complete defeat and surrendered to my disease and accepted I am an alcoholic and drug addict. My sober date is 8-16-05, I went to a meeting with 24 hours sober, shook like a willow tree and got my white chip. I got a sponsor,
who told me he doesn't like the word "Sponsor" but we'll be two friends that help keep eachother sober. That sounded good to me. I been to a meeting almost everyday since, sometimes twice or even three in a day. I love goin', I don't dread it, I took the coffe commitment at my homegroup. I spoke on my 90 days,
and I plan to go downtown to innergroup and pickup some commitments. Maybe the prison commitment. I like that one, I spoke in prison a couple times before and talk about leaving a meeting feeling grateful! Anyway, I started my 4th step, my sponsor said to hold off a bit, since I started going to a step study once a week, wait till I get to the 4th with that, and then start writting again. Unless I wannna do it now, which he said was fine, thats what he suggested. So, I've decided to do that. I've done the first three steps, the first step is the only one I need to get perfect everytime, and I continue to work them everyday.
1= I can't
2= He can
3= I think I'll let Him
I work the other steps in my life to the best of my ability, even though I'm not technically on them yet, I do review my day at night, I don't pass the oppritunity to make an amend if it presents itself, I help others whenever I can and I do pray and attempt meditation on a daily basis. The obsession to drink/drug has been lifted, I still have days that aren't great, but I'm ok. I know now happyness comes from within. Things around me may be screwed up but I'm getting better.
And I'm slowly cleaning up my side of the street. I now find it easier to live one day at a time, I understand that thinking now and it feels good. Everyday is a good day as long as I don't pickup, somedays are better than others, but I don't have bad days anymore, for today. Thanks for letting me share.
Take care...........Bob
Keep up the great work!! How are you feeling now?
Hi Bob, I usually post over here on the Alcohol and also over on the C/C site. But, I know you know me as "Rachel's" sister; I recently posted my two year sobriety birthday over on the Pain Pills site. Anyhow, I read your story over there and wanted to tell you that I've been walking around saying to myself: "I can't, he can, so I'll let him"....thank you for that, I hadn't heard that in a long time and needed to remind myself of just that. It tends to hectic around this time of year for me and everyone else too...and I start to get overwhelmed (I'm also moving)...that little mantra is great, it's helped me out so much the last couple of days. Take care.
good luck Bob, you sound good. no drink for me since 81, and i' haven't missed it.
