Hello all my name is kelly and i am a mommy to 4 kids ages 10,9,6 and 5 years. Married for 12 years this July. I started pain pills after my last c section. I realized that i was talking more and just felt more like taking on the world. I then realized it was the pills making me feel that way and have not looked back since. Over the past 5 years i have experienced so many emotions about taking them from euphoria that i had found a wonder drug to the most panicky feeling ever when i realized i was addicted. I take 7 a day of darvocet which are not prescribed to me for headaches. Actually imitrex works better but i guess i am just fooling myself. I have a brain tumor so i use that excuse to keep getting refills. My husband knows all about the addiction and so does my mother and closest friend. I have quit a few times but never for long and really had no desire to quit. NOW i have a desire and am determined to beat this. I have cut off all other possible sources of pain meds except my neurologist which is my next goal. Last week i had a vision of me in a few years still counting pills and obssessing over the next refill, panicking when i run out and cancelling things when i have no pills left.Not a life i want to lead. I had a great life before pills and i know i can get it back. I start with a counselor this friday. Please give me any tips to stay on top of this monster that have worked for you. My withdrawal has not been too bad. I had my last pill on friday and on saturday i had chills and hot flashes with nausea and just a feeling of depression. By sunday night i was feeling a bit better. I do have requip which helps me sleep at night. Okay what can i expect next as far as emotionally or physically. The cravings scare the crap out of me by the way.
Welcome
Have you given any thought to NA? They will teach you how to get thru those cravings until they go away. Friday can be a long way off when you are craving a buzz. Congratulations on getting off the pills. Now the hard part begins...staying clean.
Have you given any thought to NA? They will teach you how to get thru those cravings until they go away. Friday can be a long way off when you are craving a buzz. Congratulations on getting off the pills. Now the hard part begins...staying clean.
thank you for the quick response. Yes friday seems ages away. Each craving feels so strong and my mind tries to trick me into thinking well this time you can control your use. HAHA i know that is false but still runs through my head. NA is not offered here but AA is. Do you think that would be just as helpful? Right now i am fighting the urges by picking up my list of humiliating things i have done to get pills. I also have a list of negatives from pills. It works for today but i know i need a long term plan.
I go to AA but I am also an alkie. Why don't you go to a meeting, sit in the back and just listen. Try that a few times, then you can decide what you want to do. At least it would be something to do till Friday gets here. Of course you can also post here. The board seems to be quiet now but should pick up soon. How are you feeling physically?
we have an aa meeting that meets just down a couple blocks at a church so i guess i need to find out exactly when they meet. Physically i am much better today as far as wds go. I do have a headache which normally would be a great excuse to take a couple pills but i only took ibuprofen. I slept fairly well last night only waking two times. My nausea is gone today too but i still feel wiped out. Just wanting to lay around still. Barely hanging in there and waiting for it to get better.
Grab yourself some chamomile tea and a good book and take it easy for a couple of more days if you can. Reading helped me a lot even though I couldn't remember a word of what I read <G> At least it kept my mind busy. I'm sure your kids are keeping you busy enough though.
reading is helping me tremendously right now. The kids do need me alot so i am trying to not snap at them and just let them know i am not feeling so great at the minute. I want to get them out of the house for awhile but it just seems so daunting a task. I also babysit a toddler so alot of my energy is spent on her.
Hey there!
Kat's right. You seem to be handling the w/d symptoms fairly well. The cravings are less powerful if you can distract yourself. I found that the more I was idle, the more I obsessed about not having pills and how I felt without them. You're lucky that your w/d symptoms are subsiding. That simply means that you'll feel like doing more a little quicker and that's key. I don't know where you live but if you can get out in the fresh air, get some activity in, that'll help a ton. The support of AA/NA will help too. They are both the same premise so one is just as helpful as the other. I find that there are many in my group who are cross addicted anyway. Hang in there! You're doing great!
~Callie~
Kat's right. You seem to be handling the w/d symptoms fairly well. The cravings are less powerful if you can distract yourself. I found that the more I was idle, the more I obsessed about not having pills and how I felt without them. You're lucky that your w/d symptoms are subsiding. That simply means that you'll feel like doing more a little quicker and that's key. I don't know where you live but if you can get out in the fresh air, get some activity in, that'll help a ton. The support of AA/NA will help too. They are both the same premise so one is just as helpful as the other. I find that there are many in my group who are cross addicted anyway. Hang in there! You're doing great!
~Callie~
You'll be ok as long as you don't give in to the cravings. I suggest if you have any pills in the house to get rid of them. The temptation might be a little to hard to resist. I have to get some work done but someone else should be along soon. Hang in there and keep posting.
smooches
smooches
I just read your last post. You DO have your hands full, don't you?! I'll be thinking of you today!
~Callie~
~Callie~
I am glad for you, it seems like you are a strong woman and I envy and respect that very much!!! Today I started something new just like you are starting something new a life without pills. I Started a new anti depressant that helps with addiction recovery, its called Wellbutrin. When you go to your counselor ask him/her about it. I read all about it and its great it helps to heal your brain and all the dopamine receptors that stopped working because the pills did all the work for you. I talked to an alcoholic and he said when he was on it, he realized two weeks later he hadn't had a drink in two weeks, he didn't even want it. Well hopefully something I said here either helps you or gives you hope. Think about it like this I am probably the youngest person on this board I am only 22 and trying to get better. It has been hard because all of my friends and the people I know are young and want to party it up and do these pills and having fun. I don't want to be addicted anymore. These things will ruin your life.I had to quit a job ended up in the ER so on and so on... If you need to talk I am here.
thanks to both of you. Yes i do have my hands full and i suppose that is a good thing at the moment. I do not have any pills in the house but i have a refill that i could call for so that is why i need to cut off all my sources. Scary thought but i know it is essential to do that. Thank you for the encouragement. Just trying to get through the day. Nights are easier for me right now.
You are the opposite of me I hate nights more, because thats when I did the most amount of pills plus I can't sleep I have restless leg syndrome so its really a harder time for me.
oh god the restless leg thing to me was the worst. I also had it as a kid and teenages occasionally. So they started me on requip about 4 months ago. I take it as needed and it is a LIFE saver for sleep. When i dont have that and i am in withdrawal i do not sleep at all.
Katie,
Would you mind telling us a little more about NA teaching you how to get thru the cravings?
Would you mind telling us a little more about NA teaching you how to get thru the cravings?
Hey AnglesMom...nice to see you here. Just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone. I go to AA as well, although I'm not an alcoholic, I'm just more comfortable in those meetings. That's not saying I couldn't be an alkie..I tend to trade one addiction for another.
What have you got to loose? You'll meet some pretty wonderful people there and it's free!
Cowgirl
What have you got to loose? You'll meet some pretty wonderful people there and it's free!
Cowgirl
I have yet to make it to a meeting but I keep trying!! I would like to go but at the same time I am terrified!!!!
At some point you have to let go of that fear Fiona. It's going to kill you.
Let us help you walk thru the fear, Fiona. What do you think is going to happen? What are you afraid of?
I was so afriad when I walked into my first meeting. You aren't alone in those feelings. The unknown is scary. But I think you'll be pleasantly surprized.