Hi Kittekatt and all you guys and gals in cyberspace. Sorry I haven't e mailed you KK - I have been without laptop. What a loss! How are you all doing?
An update on me, about 4 weeks after stopping the benzos started getting some psychotic type thoughts about harming myself and also hearing voices. SH*T. Things have got pretty bad and I now have the psychiatric crisis team calling in on me everyday. I think things may be starting, just starting to improve. And hey, as the girl who's got to have everything I need to tackle my remaining addiction - codeine. I tell you, when it comes to drugs if they've manufactured it I've probably taken it. Thought I was getting away a bit scot free with the benzos to be honest.
Keep your fingers crossed for me sweetheart, love to all,
JXXXXX
nice to see you back
x
x
Hey jonesy sorry to hear your having a bit of rough time love, but i'm glad to hear from you! I thought you'd forgotten all about us lol Tht codiene is a right sneaky bast*** you be carefull. Remember that is an opiate like heroin etc and when its got a grip on you, you'll need to fight tooth and nail to get off it. How much have you been taking? Is it Dihydrocodiene or codiene phosphate? Don't worry mate we'll get you through this. You beat valium and i KNOW you'll beat this too. Loads a love KKxxxx
Jonesy i don't know if you already have it but my Email is Kitteekatt101@hotmail.com Anytime love anytime x KKx
Hi KK, Hi Brynda and Jack - the wanderer returns!
It's been ages since I've posted on here but I've been lurking loads. Couldn't get back onto the site for some reason but I've cracked it now. I'm not very techie minded it has to be said.
An update on me - kicked the codeine by doing a taper, thank gawd. But like an idiot been taking a small (for me!) amount of diazepam now and again to help with anxiety. It's been 3 weeks and 2 days since I took my last dose - which was out of the ordinary large amount of 25mg.
Now I'm crushed with anxiety and recurrent panic attacks as well as insomnia and agrophobia. Can't remember feeling this bad in years.
I've got an appointment with the drug and alcohol team but it's not for nine days. They advised me not to kick abruptly and to contact my GP for a minimal dose of valium till I see the team, but my GP refused. She said she's not 'allowed' to initiate a new script for benzodiazepines...
I've got horrible thoughts of self harm, and am worried Im going to end up going to hospital.
KK - how long did it take you to feel 'normal' (whatever that is) once you kicked the vals? Did you get bad anxiety once you'd kicked? What other symptoms did you get? So many questions...
I've 'fessed up to my healthcare professionals but they are doing precious little to help me. I am on anti-seizure meds though.
Going through a hellish time at the moment so would love to hear from you,
All the best,
J
It's been ages since I've posted on here but I've been lurking loads. Couldn't get back onto the site for some reason but I've cracked it now. I'm not very techie minded it has to be said.
An update on me - kicked the codeine by doing a taper, thank gawd. But like an idiot been taking a small (for me!) amount of diazepam now and again to help with anxiety. It's been 3 weeks and 2 days since I took my last dose - which was out of the ordinary large amount of 25mg.
Now I'm crushed with anxiety and recurrent panic attacks as well as insomnia and agrophobia. Can't remember feeling this bad in years.
I've got an appointment with the drug and alcohol team but it's not for nine days. They advised me not to kick abruptly and to contact my GP for a minimal dose of valium till I see the team, but my GP refused. She said she's not 'allowed' to initiate a new script for benzodiazepines...
I've got horrible thoughts of self harm, and am worried Im going to end up going to hospital.
KK - how long did it take you to feel 'normal' (whatever that is) once you kicked the vals? Did you get bad anxiety once you'd kicked? What other symptoms did you get? So many questions...
I've 'fessed up to my healthcare professionals but they are doing precious little to help me. I am on anti-seizure meds though.
Going through a hellish time at the moment so would love to hear from you,
All the best,
J
Hey - -well look who stops by- -
Good to hear from ya Jonesy- Take it easy with the last of the substances- -I dont know, or I didnt read, just how much codiene you have to deal with - but I know those codiene 4 ,s are a kick
Yrs ago we used to take codiene and doridan- -2 on 2/ or 3 on 3 - we used to call them
It was popular in NY/NJ way back in the 70,s- - a heroin high for sure
I dont even know if doridan is still on the market- -(geeez I couldnt care less, but its another memory I had long forgotten about)
Anyway- welcome home, lurcking around sometimes is OK- - at least on this site
It makes a feel like stoppin in
best
jack
Good to hear from ya Jonesy- Take it easy with the last of the substances- -I dont know, or I didnt read, just how much codiene you have to deal with - but I know those codiene 4 ,s are a kick
Yrs ago we used to take codiene and doridan- -2 on 2/ or 3 on 3 - we used to call them
It was popular in NY/NJ way back in the 70,s- - a heroin high for sure
I dont even know if doridan is still on the market- -(geeez I couldnt care less, but its another memory I had long forgotten about)
Anyway- welcome home, lurcking around sometimes is OK- - at least on this site
It makes a feel like stoppin in
best
jack
HEY YOU , ITS SOOOO GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU, IM JUST SORRY ITS UNDER THE CLOUD OF THOSE NASTY/LOVELY LITTLE BLUES. YOUR DOC IS TALKING CRAP,IF YOU HAVE A NUMBER FOR THE ADDICTION TEAM GET THEM TO CALL YOUR DOC OR ASK NO TELL THEM YOU NEED AN IMMEDIATE EVALUATION EXPLAIN YOUR VALIUM HISTORY. NO DOCTOR WITH HALF A BRAIN WOULD LEAVE YOU IN THE STATE YOURE IN ESPESCIALLY NOT FOR 9 BLOODY DAYS HALFWITS. IF PUSH COMES TO SHOVE VISIT A AND E OR CALL NHS24 TELL THEM THE BASICS THEY WILL GET A NURSE OR DOC TO CALL YOU BACK TO GET SOMETHING WORKED OUT.
YOU DONE IT ONCE, YOU KICKED ITS a** AND I KNOW KNOW KNOW YOU'LL DO IT AGAIN ! Im always there , you got my email use it. Im a total insomniac no sh!t 3 hours a night is a miracle so anytimes good. Your NOT on your own i love ya hun. It took a good while i still get bad days, but theyre getting less and less YEAH BABY WE'RE WINNING! LOADS A HUGS LOVE AND KISSES KITTY XXXX P.S ITS REALLY GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU XX
YOU DONE IT ONCE, YOU KICKED ITS a** AND I KNOW KNOW KNOW YOU'LL DO IT AGAIN ! Im always there , you got my email use it. Im a total insomniac no sh!t 3 hours a night is a miracle so anytimes good. Your NOT on your own i love ya hun. It took a good while i still get bad days, but theyre getting less and less YEAH BABY WE'RE WINNING! LOADS A HUGS LOVE AND KISSES KITTY XXXX P.S ITS REALLY GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU XX
Thankyou so so much for your replies Jack and KK.
I feel like the medical establishment is really letting me down at the mo. I've seen two doctors in total and neither has done anything to help me. The anxiety is terrible. I have been gripped by the urge to throw myself out of the window of my second storey flat. Things can't go on like they have been. I NEED HELP. Seeing my CPN this morning and I'm gonna beg for help. Wish me luck. I need it.
Sorry to hear you're still having bad days KK. Those blues are little b@stards aren't they? I regret taking even one of them. I read the withdrawal symptoms last from 6 months to a year but a small percentage have wds for up to five years! Awful. I'd prefer to kick the opiates again to be honest...
Ach well. Thanks again for your kind replies - it really means a lot.
Much love,
J
I feel like the medical establishment is really letting me down at the mo. I've seen two doctors in total and neither has done anything to help me. The anxiety is terrible. I have been gripped by the urge to throw myself out of the window of my second storey flat. Things can't go on like they have been. I NEED HELP. Seeing my CPN this morning and I'm gonna beg for help. Wish me luck. I need it.
Sorry to hear you're still having bad days KK. Those blues are little b@stards aren't they? I regret taking even one of them. I read the withdrawal symptoms last from 6 months to a year but a small percentage have wds for up to five years! Awful. I'd prefer to kick the opiates again to be honest...
Ach well. Thanks again for your kind replies - it really means a lot.
Much love,
J
By the way KK, I read your post where you leathered the parent of the school bully and put their windows in. I LMAO! And you only a wee slip of a thing at 5ft 3. It did make me think 'way to go KK' -- you really showed them! Hope you didn't get into too much trouble tho...
Love
J
Love
J
ERM....YEAH I GET KINDA A BAD TEMPER ON OCCASION LOL.
ENOUGH ABOUT ME HOW ARE YOU TODAY? JONESY SOMETIMES ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT ISNT ENOUGH LOVE. I THINK ITS TIME TO SCREAM FOR WHAT YOU NEED, AND THE ANSWER NO IS NOT AN OPTION. BEING POLITE ISNT ENOUGH SOMETIMES YA JUST GOTTA ELBOW YOUR WAY TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE. LET ME KNOW HOW TODAY HAS BEEN OK. I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS. MUCH LOVE KITTY XXX
ENOUGH ABOUT ME HOW ARE YOU TODAY? JONESY SOMETIMES ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT ISNT ENOUGH LOVE. I THINK ITS TIME TO SCREAM FOR WHAT YOU NEED, AND THE ANSWER NO IS NOT AN OPTION. BEING POLITE ISNT ENOUGH SOMETIMES YA JUST GOTTA ELBOW YOUR WAY TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE. LET ME KNOW HOW TODAY HAS BEEN OK. I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS. MUCH LOVE KITTY XXX
Hi folks
Well I had a better day. My CPN came out and was quite helpful. To be honest I don't know what I expected to get out of it...But she called the crisis team in again and is increasing her visits.I've been clean now 3 weeks and 5 days. To be honest at the moment I don't want to mess up my clean time by going on the valeries (as i call 'em) again.
I read on the internet that the acute phase of benzo withdrawal lasts about 2 months and then 6 months to 1 year for full recovery. By that measure I'm also halfway through the acute phase.
KK - you're an inspiration to me. I've never met anyone else who's been taking the same amount of vals as me. And i think maybe, just maybe if you can withdraw successfully then so can I.
Hope you're all good,
Love
J
Well I had a better day. My CPN came out and was quite helpful. To be honest I don't know what I expected to get out of it...But she called the crisis team in again and is increasing her visits.I've been clean now 3 weeks and 5 days. To be honest at the moment I don't want to mess up my clean time by going on the valeries (as i call 'em) again.
I read on the internet that the acute phase of benzo withdrawal lasts about 2 months and then 6 months to 1 year for full recovery. By that measure I'm also halfway through the acute phase.
KK - you're an inspiration to me. I've never met anyone else who's been taking the same amount of vals as me. And i think maybe, just maybe if you can withdraw successfully then so can I.
Hope you're all good,
Love
J
HEY THERE JONESY, I'VE FALLEN OFF THE VALLIE WAGON A FEW TIMES SO BELIEVE ME I'M FAR FROM THE POSTER CHILD FOR SUCSESS! IT'S HARD, REALLY HARD AS YOU KNOW.JUST KEEP TRUCKING GIRLFRIEND I KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO IT XXX LOADS A LOVE AND BIG HUGS KITTY XXXXX
Always grand to get a post from you KK. I'm still trucking along. It'll be four weeks tomorrow I took my last dose.
I don't care if you've lapsed a few times your MY poster child of success and I'm sticking to it lol!
Gotta admit this is the hardest kick I've ever done. Spent the day feeling off my head - everything seemed so unreal. Another symptom.
Went to the corner shop for fags and had a panic attack - shaking, sweating, terror, the lot. Felt like I was stoned and not in a good way.
Spoke to a guy at the drug and alcohol team and he said withdrawals from vals would last 3 or 4 days. Yeah right. The ignorant sod. Even I know they last for months. It's everywhere on the net. I find the ignorance among the medical profession staggering.
Here's to some relief soon,
Hope you're all good,
Hugs
J
I don't care if you've lapsed a few times your MY poster child of success and I'm sticking to it lol!
Gotta admit this is the hardest kick I've ever done. Spent the day feeling off my head - everything seemed so unreal. Another symptom.
Went to the corner shop for fags and had a panic attack - shaking, sweating, terror, the lot. Felt like I was stoned and not in a good way.
Spoke to a guy at the drug and alcohol team and he said withdrawals from vals would last 3 or 4 days. Yeah right. The ignorant sod. Even I know they last for months. It's everywhere on the net. I find the ignorance among the medical profession staggering.
Here's to some relief soon,
Hope you're all good,
Hugs
J
Hi all,
well it's been four weeks and one day since my last dose of valium. Had the mother of all panic attacks last night. Things just don't seem to be getting any easier. Can't wait till this starts to improve - another month to go. Seems impossibly long but I'll get there. Can't wait for each day to be over - I'm constantly clock watching. Feelings of being unreal so intense I can't go to the corner shop. Burning in my limbs too. Sorry to moan on guys...Hope you're all good,
all the best,
J
well it's been four weeks and one day since my last dose of valium. Had the mother of all panic attacks last night. Things just don't seem to be getting any easier. Can't wait till this starts to improve - another month to go. Seems impossibly long but I'll get there. Can't wait for each day to be over - I'm constantly clock watching. Feelings of being unreal so intense I can't go to the corner shop. Burning in my limbs too. Sorry to moan on guys...Hope you're all good,
all the best,
J
KEEP GOING YA MENTAL WELSH NUTBALL YOURE DOING SOOOOO WELL LOVE. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT IM SENDING OUT BIG LOVES TO YOU! KITTY XXX
Thanks KK, I'm hanging on in there. If I have the urge to throw myself out of the window again and I'm going to have myself admitted to hosp. I discussed this with my support worker yesterday. I don't want to go in if I can help it though. Been in a psych hospital more times than I can care to mention and sooo don't wanna go back in.
Taking every minute as it comes just now...Even a day at a time is too much. It's been four weeks and 3 days since my last dose. Wish I could just fast forward time to get over this. Ach well...
How are you doing my love?
J
Taking every minute as it comes just now...Even a day at a time is too much. It's been four weeks and 3 days since my last dose. Wish I could just fast forward time to get over this. Ach well...
How are you doing my love?
J
