hello
i have been lurking for a while here, and thought that you might be ok people to talk to. i am feeling very scared and alone, with no where to turn. is it normal to feel this way after a year? i have been doing this alone and now i have been wanting to use. i have been lookin at a bottle sinse 4pm today and i am not doing so good. i think i need to talk.
tori
Tori- you need to be more open
Hi Tori,
So wanted to ask a few questions. First you have been clean for a year now? !
That's so excelllent. Don't pick the bottle up now unless it's to chuck it! Really, it's been a year ... it's not worth going back. I've used pills for pain for a long time. I'm off oxy and I don't know when exactly I got off but I think it's only been a few months. Do you go to meetings or have support like that??? Maybe it would help. I just wanted you to know I read your post and I sure hope you don't use. It's not worth it. I know the feeling of lonliness sometimes but hang in there okay??? Hopefully more people will see your post and respond soon.
Don't use, write some more about what's going on. Okay?!
Hang in there you can do it.
PM
So wanted to ask a few questions. First you have been clean for a year now? !
That's so excelllent. Don't pick the bottle up now unless it's to chuck it! Really, it's been a year ... it's not worth going back. I've used pills for pain for a long time. I'm off oxy and I don't know when exactly I got off but I think it's only been a few months. Do you go to meetings or have support like that??? Maybe it would help. I just wanted you to know I read your post and I sure hope you don't use. It's not worth it. I know the feeling of lonliness sometimes but hang in there okay??? Hopefully more people will see your post and respond soon.
Don't use, write some more about what's going on. Okay?!
Hang in there you can do it.
PM
Tori,
I think you will find that most people here are more than ok to talk to and very intelligent. So I gather by your post that you have a year clean and I know that you don't need me to tell you this but FLUSH THE PILLS. Go ahead and do it right now. It doesn't matter what is going on in your life right now......nothing will be as bad as getting suck back into that bottle. When they are safely down the crapper come back on and lay it all on the table.
Stay strong......
Tina
I think you will find that most people here are more than ok to talk to and very intelligent. So I gather by your post that you have a year clean and I know that you don't need me to tell you this but FLUSH THE PILLS. Go ahead and do it right now. It doesn't matter what is going on in your life right now......nothing will be as bad as getting suck back into that bottle. When they are safely down the crapper come back on and lay it all on the table.
Stay strong......
Tina
Tori, we need alittle more detail, dont worry we wont bite:).. there are very good people here!! why do u have pills in your house?, if u dont mind me asking? r they your's , you know that they must go sweetie, a year, i had 6 months a went out, STRESS!! but that is so great!! i am trully jelous!! dont mess up, and sweetie if you do tell us we will not judge you never!! please post us on you, ok, jasmine(a friend),,,,,
i am really not good about being open. i am a real private person. i got myself into the mess of pills because of a car accident and spent 6yrs on all kinds. when i quit it almost killed me because i was on to much but i made it. i did it all very secret, my family thought i was sick with mono so they did not know that i had a hard time quiting. terrible huh. i have not gone to meetings, and til recently only one person knew. she was my best friend, and when she got mad at me, she told my family everything. now i am exposed, and very much in the limelight, and not wanting to be. now see my reason for not being open much. i feel like there is no one to trust, and that makes u feel very alone and scarey. the only time i was happy was on these pills. i have not ever gotten out of my sadness sinse quiting. the pain is terrible, and i just don't know weather or not to trust with much more than this. i have been called a pathetic junky liar and that is by my husband and kids who wont talk to me.
tori
tori
did u loose your husband and kids?? if so i am so sorry and i am sorry for what your friend did to you, i can see how u dont trust anyone, i wouldnt eaither!
but let me tell u , u r safe here there are woundeful people her and u can trust us!! please keep posting you will see we are here 4-U, jasmine..
but let me tell u , u r safe here there are woundeful people her and u can trust us!! please keep posting you will see we are here 4-U, jasmine..
Wow Tori,
I am so sorry about what has happened. I am glad you were able to come off the pills. I know with my family it has also been difficult. See I never told them what I took but like you someone else told them. Well it's all behind me now. I know alot of people get depression after they stop. Have you had any counseling or talked with anyone about this??? I sure don't have all the answers. Wish I did but I am glad you shared. Stay strong. Keep writing as you feel comfortable. Keep building support and hang in there. You can get through this time. I wish you the best.
PM
I am so sorry about what has happened. I am glad you were able to come off the pills. I know with my family it has also been difficult. See I never told them what I took but like you someone else told them. Well it's all behind me now. I know alot of people get depression after they stop. Have you had any counseling or talked with anyone about this??? I sure don't have all the answers. Wish I did but I am glad you shared. Stay strong. Keep writing as you feel comfortable. Keep building support and hang in there. You can get through this time. I wish you the best.
PM
counseling.....that is funny. nope this has been all by myself. i have been watching this place for a while, and i am a bit taken back by how people come and go here. i have seen ugly mean things said to peopke and i wonder why some get forgivin and some dont. i dont want to open up for a kick in teeth
Hi Tori, so nice to see new posters coming in and opening up. How terrible that you get clean and then your family treats you that way. Just figures huh? Life can sure be strange. They should be proud of you being clean instead of deciding to pick now as a time to condemn you. You know, that forgiveness thing you mentioned, I have a bit of a handle on that if it helps. People on this board make mistakes, some get attacked unfairly, some justified. In the end, we're all just addicts trying to make our way in our many different levels of recovery. You will find though if you look back on those "old" issues, that the people who get forgiven are the ones who realize their mistakes. Most of us try very hard to be honest, to forgive anyone who has spoken against us. I've personally done some forgiving, and I've gotten some forgiveness too. We learn by these things. After awhile, with maturity and love, it becomes obvious who is for real, who has a good heart, who is honest, and who really matters. You might have noticed a recent coming together of old friends. What a blessing it has been for all of us involved! After much foolishness, and listening to nonsense that we never should have, we have mended our fences. It's a lovely thing to be able to do this. Now we can all work together to help others (and ourselves as well) on this board and also enjoy the wonder of real friends. I hope this clears it up for you. Hopefully, no one will have to ever witness such nonsense again. I know we are reaping the rewards of humility and honestly. It's been a tremendous help for our own personal recoveries, and we hope also can keep us united to help everyone here as much as we are able. Hope that clears up your question. I feel free to speak for all of us who had these difficulties......onto better days!! Sharing love and spreading the message of recovery! Good luck to you, Kat
