My son was involved in a hit and run accident. He was the one that ran away. He came home crying and saying he hated himself over and over. He cried himself to sleep and woke up still crying. We took him to an emergency mental health facility. I cant remember ever seeing him cry like that. I know the right thing to do would have been to call the cops right away but it is not what my parents wanted to do. It is their house, their car and in a way their child. They spent more time raising him then I ever did. I don't always feel like a parent living here. I didn't want to be the bad guy. I already spent most of his life abandoning him. So he went from the first facility to a detox and this week is going to a treatment center. The cops have already been here and were surprisingly nice. One of them had arrested Josh in the past and said he is a really nice kid and he is. He is so sensitive and sweet I'm afraid of how guilty he feels and I know he should feel guilty. I just don't want it to destroy him. The cops said it was ok if he turned himself in after treatment....the day after the accident the cops told us there was a 9 month old baby in the car. The baby is fine. But when I told my son he just started sobbing again. I worry about what that families anger in court will do to him. They totally deserve to be angry. I know I would be. I just cant imagine his pain. They are going to treat him like a piece of s*** and he already thinks he is one.
On the other hand maybe (because no one was hurt) this is the best thing that could have happened to him. Maybe it will get him the help he needs. Maybe it saved him 20 years of misery and denial....I hope so. He is my baby. I haven't been able to sleep since this all started. I have been craving the fake peace that comes with a needle in my arm. At this point Im holding it together cause when he was young I was never there when he needed me. Im here now and Im not going anywhere....but that doesn't mean I don't wish I could get a bag and make it all go away for a little while.
Hey Jessi,
I am so sorry for whats going on with your son.
You cant beat yourself up forever for not being there for him as a child. But, you can be there for him now. His actions are his to deal with but you can be supportive and do what you can to help him get the help he needs.
YOU need to take care of YOU first and foremost, and then help to care and support him. If you are a wreck you will be NO help to him what-so-ever.
Be strong sweetie, pull yourself up by the boot straps and go for it!
(((((HUGS)))))
granny
I am so sorry for whats going on with your son.
You cant beat yourself up forever for not being there for him as a child. But, you can be there for him now. His actions are his to deal with but you can be supportive and do what you can to help him get the help he needs.
YOU need to take care of YOU first and foremost, and then help to care and support him. If you are a wreck you will be NO help to him what-so-ever.
Be strong sweetie, pull yourself up by the boot straps and go for it!
(((((HUGS)))))
granny
