Hi All.......
Well it's that time of year again, For a lot of people, It will be a happy time & there will be a lot of us who are triggered by just the thought of the festivity's ahead, I fall into the last catagory.............and I'm thinking to myself.......How do I Get through this clean......1st I know my guard has to be up, But yesterday, when I went back to work for the 1st day since I got out of the hospitol, I was very uncomfortable, Christmas Decoration's all over the store, My heart kinda siezed up.......It really is that hard for me, I Don't feel all that festivness that other people feel & I'm sure I'm not alone.
I guess what I'm wondering, is how other people got through this when they were 1st clean? I think there are a lot of people who could benefit from hearing from people who have gone before us!
I don't believe we have to suffer through this........But I'm looking for all the help I can get.
Much Love
Dottie
Dottie, with having 2 houses to clean and having my parents plus the inlaws...complete with 6 grandkids, I'm stressing. So glad that Thanksgiving will be a potluck, taking part of the work off of me. I don't get along well with the in-laws (long story), but I am so glad that my folks will be there to even things out. I'm looking forward to our first Thanksgiving in the house (even though we won't be moved in). I sure wish I had a magic pill to give me energy, but it doesn't exist (not without addiction factored in). Till then, I'm going to do a little each day, and I'm going to ask Jana to come up and help me clean the trailer, so that will take part of the stress off of me.
Good topic, Dottie. I don't think you and I are lone in finding holidays and families to be huge triggers.
I haven't been through Christmas sober in a while, but I've kind of done things backwards. I sorted things out with my family first -- that is to say, we formalized our non-relationship, lol -- and dealt with my addiction after that.
I'm kind of curious to see what Christmas morning looks like without drugs. I used to treat myself to an extra dose to get that holiday glow. I think the trick, for me, is accepting that it is what it is. I'm not chasing the perfect Dickens Christmas anymore.
Love, Gina
I haven't been through Christmas sober in a while, but I've kind of done things backwards. I sorted things out with my family first -- that is to say, we formalized our non-relationship, lol -- and dealt with my addiction after that.
I'm kind of curious to see what Christmas morning looks like without drugs. I used to treat myself to an extra dose to get that holiday glow. I think the trick, for me, is accepting that it is what it is. I'm not chasing the perfect Dickens Christmas anymore.
Love, Gina
I haven't really been sober on Christmas since moving to Fl.
If the holiday is at my house........OMG......I would stay in the kitchen cooking & popping pills so I could deal with his family........I have no family in Fl. xcept Scott, my son & my Grandson Michael
This year, Thanksgiving is at his Sister's and I was praying that my store would be open.....no such luck, lol
I would rather work than deal with their jolliness. and I hate to be this way cuz I don't want to spoil their day.
I guess it's been this way since 1977.......They found my Dad almost dead on Christmas day that year.........and the day after New Year, he died, & 1 yr later it was my Mother........so I am just not a festive person & I hate faking it.
Just wish I could sleep thru the whole damm thing. lol
The one thing I'm gonna try to enjoy is my grandson.......He turns 1 yr. on 12/28
so he should be fun.......My daugter in law is Jewish so she doesn't celebrate the holiday.......But my son is Catholic so the law was laid down about the baby.......He will celebrate Christmas & Hannaka.......They are teaching him about both, I'm happy about that
Love Dottie
If the holiday is at my house........OMG......I would stay in the kitchen cooking & popping pills so I could deal with his family........I have no family in Fl. xcept Scott, my son & my Grandson Michael
This year, Thanksgiving is at his Sister's and I was praying that my store would be open.....no such luck, lol
I would rather work than deal with their jolliness. and I hate to be this way cuz I don't want to spoil their day.
I guess it's been this way since 1977.......They found my Dad almost dead on Christmas day that year.........and the day after New Year, he died, & 1 yr later it was my Mother........so I am just not a festive person & I hate faking it.
Just wish I could sleep thru the whole damm thing. lol
The one thing I'm gonna try to enjoy is my grandson.......He turns 1 yr. on 12/28
so he should be fun.......My daugter in law is Jewish so she doesn't celebrate the holiday.......But my son is Catholic so the law was laid down about the baby.......He will celebrate Christmas & Hannaka.......They are teaching him about both, I'm happy about that
Love Dottie
Know what guys? I think it will be better than ever! Just be yourself (Dottie, yo dont have to fake jack,lol) and everything will be cool. I already had thanksgiving and it went without a hitch.
Dottie, I'm looking forward to Xmas with my grandson too, though he'll only be 9 months...he finally cut his first 2 teeth a week ago...
The other grandkids, I don't claim, though I do shop for them. The oldest girl just turned 14...that'll be a gift card. Both sets of boys are very close in age, I usually get them the same type of toy, just a little different, so they don't fight over them. PS, Evil as it sounds, I always get something noisy to irritate my stepdaughter (the oldest one) seeing as she usually treats me nasty...revenge is a mofo!
The other grandkids, I don't claim, though I do shop for them. The oldest girl just turned 14...that'll be a gift card. Both sets of boys are very close in age, I usually get them the same type of toy, just a little different, so they don't fight over them. PS, Evil as it sounds, I always get something noisy to irritate my stepdaughter (the oldest one) seeing as she usually treats me nasty...revenge is a mofo!
Hi Dottie:
This is an excellent subject to bring up. For many people I have met in program the holiday's are a sad time.
For me its no big deal. But for the people that do have problems I know my old home group has a party they throw each year for christmas. Most groups do special events and all night meetings right through new years.
I have the next 6 weeks to try and wean off all my meds. That will keep real busy.
Hope your feeling better.
Jeff
P.S Dottie my family celebrates both holidays. The kids make out like bandits. My EX re-married so my kids get 3X presents + me They make out pretty well.
This is an excellent subject to bring up. For many people I have met in program the holiday's are a sad time.
For me its no big deal. But for the people that do have problems I know my old home group has a party they throw each year for christmas. Most groups do special events and all night meetings right through new years.
I have the next 6 weeks to try and wean off all my meds. That will keep real busy.
Hope your feeling better.
Jeff
P.S Dottie my family celebrates both holidays. The kids make out like bandits. My EX re-married so my kids get 3X presents + me They make out pretty well.
Hey Wendy
lmao.....not too sure anybody wants me to be myself when I'm not happy with their.......BS
Janet.......lmao
I used to do the same thing with my other grandkid's.....buy the most annoying thing I could find, just to irritate my daughter in law...who treated me like sh*t in the beginning........boy was I evil, lol
lmao.....not too sure anybody wants me to be myself when I'm not happy with their.......BS
Janet.......lmao
I used to do the same thing with my other grandkid's.....buy the most annoying thing I could find, just to irritate my daughter in law...who treated me like sh*t in the beginning........boy was I evil, lol
Lol, Dottie, play a game. If you get mad, you loose...Don't give anyone the power to even "think" they can "begin" to alter the great person you are.
Hey there my Twin, hope you are feeling fine:
Good thread -
I do love Thanksgiving - my favorite holiday. I have cooked every year since I was 18 except the year I was going through my divorce (many moons ago) I have already thought - okay, this years I will be doing it clean again. easier or hareder? Just the 6 of us - my sons love for me to send home lots of leftovers so I make 3 of some things.
My youngest and his g'friend will be eating with us at 1 and then at her parents at 5 - my 31 yr old and his wife go to her parents at Myrtle Beach sometime during the w'end so they love to take home a bo for the next day.
My sister-in-law asked us over this year and I just started telling my sons b/c she is new to this clan of ours and it's sweet of her to offer - they started saying "no way" before I got a chance to tell them that I told her that I really loved cooking Thanksgiving Diinner.
Makes me fel needed - sweet - I'm not saying my cooking is that good - some stuff that you only cook once a year - I always wonder how it may turn out.
I think it's just we always think we love our Mother's cooking b/c that's what we know and then husband's love their wife's cooking b/c they get used to that - so that's the fun day - I hope I will be calm.
Christmas I never know. Trigger should be my m-in-law's middle name - nice to me but loves to pull my husband's and his brother and sister's strings so usually somebody blows on Christmas day - late afternoon. I do love the meaning of Christmas but don't like the commercial part - it was in all in stores before Halloween - I would love for them to let us enjoy Thanksgiving but I know "money wise" that will never happen. We have never been the type of parents to spend $1,000 per child - blows my mind - they always got one big thing like a bike and then some stuff to wrap up - one of my friends was telling me a few year ago that she was cutting down on spending that yr with her 2 sons - only spending $750 on each - I didn't say a'thing - none of my business.
I usually make it through Thanksgiving better than Christmas.
One thing I'm sure - memories of Christmas just aren't that good of when I was little - just seemed to overwhelm my Mother.
My son and daughter-in-law switch off with her parents so we have them every other Christmas Day and every other year on Christma Eve - I have always said I would not be one of those Mothers who demanded they be with me all day Christmas Day - it was their idea to switch off - if they were gone for a week - we would celebrate when they got home - I have heard so many horror stories - lived them , too w/ my Mother and first m-in-law pulling at us. I refuse to do that.
Said too much.
Hope everyone will have a happy holdiday season,
either way, clean will be better.
Love, Jean
Good thread -
I do love Thanksgiving - my favorite holiday. I have cooked every year since I was 18 except the year I was going through my divorce (many moons ago) I have already thought - okay, this years I will be doing it clean again. easier or hareder? Just the 6 of us - my sons love for me to send home lots of leftovers so I make 3 of some things.
My youngest and his g'friend will be eating with us at 1 and then at her parents at 5 - my 31 yr old and his wife go to her parents at Myrtle Beach sometime during the w'end so they love to take home a bo for the next day.
My sister-in-law asked us over this year and I just started telling my sons b/c she is new to this clan of ours and it's sweet of her to offer - they started saying "no way" before I got a chance to tell them that I told her that I really loved cooking Thanksgiving Diinner.
Makes me fel needed - sweet - I'm not saying my cooking is that good - some stuff that you only cook once a year - I always wonder how it may turn out.
I think it's just we always think we love our Mother's cooking b/c that's what we know and then husband's love their wife's cooking b/c they get used to that - so that's the fun day - I hope I will be calm.
Christmas I never know. Trigger should be my m-in-law's middle name - nice to me but loves to pull my husband's and his brother and sister's strings so usually somebody blows on Christmas day - late afternoon. I do love the meaning of Christmas but don't like the commercial part - it was in all in stores before Halloween - I would love for them to let us enjoy Thanksgiving but I know "money wise" that will never happen. We have never been the type of parents to spend $1,000 per child - blows my mind - they always got one big thing like a bike and then some stuff to wrap up - one of my friends was telling me a few year ago that she was cutting down on spending that yr with her 2 sons - only spending $750 on each - I didn't say a'thing - none of my business.
I usually make it through Thanksgiving better than Christmas.
One thing I'm sure - memories of Christmas just aren't that good of when I was little - just seemed to overwhelm my Mother.
My son and daughter-in-law switch off with her parents so we have them every other Christmas Day and every other year on Christma Eve - I have always said I would not be one of those Mothers who demanded they be with me all day Christmas Day - it was their idea to switch off - if they were gone for a week - we would celebrate when they got home - I have heard so many horror stories - lived them , too w/ my Mother and first m-in-law pulling at us. I refuse to do that.
Said too much.
Hope everyone will have a happy holdiday season,
either way, clean will be better.
Love, Jean
glad to know I'm not the only one...lol
you reap what you sow...
My stepdaughter hurt my feeling badly one year when she was having a tirade about me with my mother-in-law...at Thanksgiving about 8 years ago, I know that I should let these feelings go, but it's hard, especially because I heard every word she said...
She has never let her kids call me Grandma, so I don't feel like I can act like one...I am ms janet to them....
you reap what you sow...
My stepdaughter hurt my feeling badly one year when she was having a tirade about me with my mother-in-law...at Thanksgiving about 8 years ago, I know that I should let these feelings go, but it's hard, especially because I heard every word she said...
She has never let her kids call me Grandma, so I don't feel like I can act like one...I am ms janet to them....
Hey Jeff
You are right, I think that one of the best things people can do, is to stick as close to meetings as they can, If, they in fact go to meetings.
Good luck with the tapering, I think you will be fine, you always sound like you have a real good foundation, & your input is appriciated!
Now.........Uhhhh, sorry to see Donovan Mc Nabb throw his all too predictable winning touch down interception pass to Dallas..........OMG, I only saw the last 6 min. of the game, It was wild........as soon as Dallas got the 2ond TD......I said, here we go.......He's gonna blow it & throw an interception, no sooner said it & he did it......He is not good in the 4th quarter under pressure, lol
Love Dottie
You are right, I think that one of the best things people can do, is to stick as close to meetings as they can, If, they in fact go to meetings.
Good luck with the tapering, I think you will be fine, you always sound like you have a real good foundation, & your input is appriciated!
Now.........Uhhhh, sorry to see Donovan Mc Nabb throw his all too predictable winning touch down interception pass to Dallas..........OMG, I only saw the last 6 min. of the game, It was wild........as soon as Dallas got the 2ond TD......I said, here we go.......He's gonna blow it & throw an interception, no sooner said it & he did it......He is not good in the 4th quarter under pressure, lol
Love Dottie
For me Christmas is always a special time .. When my Mom was alive she made it so special for everyone, she loved Christmas.. I know that she has been gone for a long time now but everytime Christmas comes it reminds me of all the wonderful times we had.. We would gather at her house for Christmas day, she made all the stockings by hand and even thought we were all grown and married there was always that special stocking hanging on the fireplace for us.. She use to read a poem she wrote to us when we were kids and after we were grown she would read it every Christmas eve to the grandkids.. I miss this so much.. I have tried to carry on with my kids and grandkids to help this tradition to go on but it has changed they have their kids and thier spouses families to include also, so we try to make it on a evening sometime before Christmas.. but it always seems like on of my kids cannot make it or something has come up.. I am not whining about this I accept it because I know that they would be here if they could.. This Christmas all I really want is for all my kids and Grandkids to get together one evening sometime around Christmas.. My youngest daughter asked me is that all I want and I told her that for me that would be the best Christmas gift she could get me for all of them to be together here and they could buy and cook Christmas Dinner that day... She seems suprised that this would be all I wanted but you know to me this would be the greatest Christmas gift of all.. and even better I will be clean and sober for this celebration... I really miss my Mom on Christmas but I have my memories of her and our Christmases together and she passed sometime down to each and every one of us kids that Christmas is not about how much money you can spend or how many decorations you can put up it is about families and togetherness and love... OK Ok .. I will stop now before I start crying.. I am just happy that she passed this down to me..
Hey Jean
as you & I have talked about on the phone.......we were born Mom's lol
As much as I love the DIL's now!! & the grandkids........there are times when I just miss my kid's being little & cooking for them.......Now they have to split their time with so many people......I Just miss that part of the holiday's
They loved my Turkey........lol
Love Dottie
BTW.......Feeling much better, thank's for asking
as you & I have talked about on the phone.......we were born Mom's lol
As much as I love the DIL's now!! & the grandkids........there are times when I just miss my kid's being little & cooking for them.......Now they have to split their time with so many people......I Just miss that part of the holiday's
They loved my Turkey........lol
Love Dottie
BTW.......Feeling much better, thank's for asking
awwww Paula
You made me cry.........I am so happy that you have those memory's
That was beautiful, Unfortunatly.......I do not have fond memorys of the Holidays, My memorys are of a Mom who cried every year because she had no money to give her kids a Christmas, That really never bothered me when I was a kid........But to see her so heartbroken every year was very hard.
I Miss her Too!!
Love Dottie
You made me cry.........I am so happy that you have those memory's
That was beautiful, Unfortunatly.......I do not have fond memorys of the Holidays, My memorys are of a Mom who cried every year because she had no money to give her kids a Christmas, That really never bothered me when I was a kid........But to see her so heartbroken every year was very hard.
I Miss her Too!!
Love Dottie
