After several days of subutex withdraws I gave in whole mess turned into a H laspe. I did a very tiny shot. No nod / no high just felt better for a solid 6-7 hrs. Well, then the crap hit the fan. I woke up 3am with fever vomiting back pain. Spent 5 DAYS in the hospital. It seems I have a screwed up rare blood disorder called porphyria. The using sent my body all on a war path. I ended up have uro surgry to stop kidney bleed. 4 units of blood transfered. Tested + for a bone infection. The whole 5 days in hospital they gave me Rapid release Roxy + Oxy cottin and morphine. NOW i have a appoitment 5am to go back to the methadone clinic :( . This time I Will NOT go back on subs at all!!!!! With the m-done they can give less then 2mg you come off at a lower dose. The sub issue was i had to jump off at 2mg that was the smallest they have. Just Upsetting i've spent 3 years getting out of the clinic. I for the 1st time can say I have no reason or craving to go back to H. This last little jolly nearly killed me for sure. Never been so ill in my life. The high sucked I was just not sub sick. I'm home and happy about that leason learned. In my many years off/on H this is the very 1st i've even said I done with it. I've wanted off it but, always kept my options open. Not worth it anymore i'm getting tired of the clinic tired of detox tired of relaspe.
Hey Zero,
Wow sounds like you went to the ends of hell and back, you poor thing!!! You have tried so hard for so long to get to a good place in your recovery and got the worse end you could imagine. I am so sorry you had to go through that and very glad to hear you are finally doing OK. I am also very glad to hear you have a backup plan..... the 5AM appt at your clinic.
Maybe your body just doesnt like subutex??
Hopefully this time around you will accomplish what you attempt, just do it as you have before...extremely slowly....but only when and if you are really ready. You know you have support here when you need it.
I am really glad you are OK...good luck and take your time sweetie.....
Ya know, you dont have to look at methadone treatment as a problem. I have been on it for a long time and I only go in once every 2 weeks.Unless you are testing dirty you should qualify for take-home exceptions.To me, methadone is just like every other medicine I take every day.My clinic very much resembles a doctors office and while the rules are a little different it keeps me well and lets me live my life. Having 2 teenagers sure does try my patience sometimes but being here for them is something I could never be doing if I was using.I failed my youngest son because of my drug use so being here for his children is a real blessing.
granny
Wow sounds like you went to the ends of hell and back, you poor thing!!! You have tried so hard for so long to get to a good place in your recovery and got the worse end you could imagine. I am so sorry you had to go through that and very glad to hear you are finally doing OK. I am also very glad to hear you have a backup plan..... the 5AM appt at your clinic.
Maybe your body just doesnt like subutex??
Hopefully this time around you will accomplish what you attempt, just do it as you have before...extremely slowly....but only when and if you are really ready. You know you have support here when you need it.
I am really glad you are OK...good luck and take your time sweetie.....
Ya know, you dont have to look at methadone treatment as a problem. I have been on it for a long time and I only go in once every 2 weeks.Unless you are testing dirty you should qualify for take-home exceptions.To me, methadone is just like every other medicine I take every day.My clinic very much resembles a doctors office and while the rules are a little different it keeps me well and lets me live my life. Having 2 teenagers sure does try my patience sometimes but being here for them is something I could never be doing if I was using.I failed my youngest son because of my drug use so being here for his children is a real blessing.
granny
HUGS! How are you doing?
Hi Z G
What gives? k
What gives? k
Oh Dear Lord, Ma. I'm so sorry, honey. ZG I mean it that there's someone bigger than us that either looks out for ya or feels they need to teach you a dang lesson. That's horrible. Glad you are home at least.
Thinking of you, Sister. Hoping the kids are O.K. "R" must be like what? A flippin pre-teen almost? The older kids? High School? Hoping they can at least help ya bit around the house and stuff. How's your mom and brother?
Carry on, ZG. Hope you make out O.K. at the clinic. Gonna throw a prayer up for ya.
Thinking of you, Sister. Hoping the kids are O.K. "R" must be like what? A flippin pre-teen almost? The older kids? High School? Hoping they can at least help ya bit around the house and stuff. How's your mom and brother?
Carry on, ZG. Hope you make out O.K. at the clinic. Gonna throw a prayer up for ya.
