Hello everyone, it's been a while. To start I'm still H free thou everything else is up for grabs. I even broke down and called the m-done clinic i use to go to to see if I could come back. Seems I'ld be welcomed, which is good to know the option is there. After more thought i'm not going. I HATED going there I do belive it's silly to do the same thing expecting a different result. I sure don't want to do another m-done kick that was horrid the 1st time.
In general " believe it or not" life is treating me rather well. I'm buying a beautiful house. I even planted a rose bush and some spring flowers in the yard. I'm still working and I love my job. The kids are doin great. My oldest son is on the school track and feild team. I got a cool dog he is a boxer about 19 months old i adopted him from the pound. Best yet the older kids are going to camp in Augest for a week. While they are gone i'm going on a cruise in the Bahamas to Nassau and Half Moon Cay. I just applied for my passport yesterday. That is so awsome I never dreamed i've need a passport. I love to travel. So many things have come together so very well for me after kicking H. I'll be 4 years off in May. Hard to remember not that long ago I was car less homeless jobless and had lost my children and nearly my arm. Now I have back everything that I let h take "+ more". I know how eazy it could all go away.
I am always buzy trying to maintain my new found life. I don't get much time to post. I do still read often on the board. That's about it for now.
hey zg thats the best news ive heard in a long time im so happy for youu from the bottom of my heart i mean that , enjoy yr cruise an most of all enjoy the rest of your life h free all the best xxxxxxxxxx emma x
Yay, ZG's here! Good to see you girlie =) And all good news from you, too...well almost all good.
Keep on keeping on~M&M
Keep on keeping on~M&M
Hi ZG
Good to hear from ya- and sooo glad life is going smooth**
I dont understand though, why call the clinic if all is all good ??
Just curious,
jack
Good to hear from ya- and sooo glad life is going smooth**
I dont understand though, why call the clinic if all is all good ??
Just curious,
jack
Good to hear from you ZG, thanks for the update. Liofe is what you make it, and you are reaping the rewards, quite rightly, Proud of you on you clean time!!! Kev
Thanks everyone for the replies. I called the clinic because as good as things are I am still a addict. I've been into a nasty pill and beer thing bit over a year now. Perks, Xanax, Oxy, soma, uppers, downers and valuim. I do have a happy productive suburban life but, I've not been totally clean off any drugs in a while. I would fail a drug test right now. I still think to treat a pill problem with m-done would just make a bigger problem. I don't use pills everyday I go on these binges then i'll stop for a week or more then i'll start all over. I've managed to stay H free but, drug free is still not happenin. I did feel the MOST stable on m-done i did not have as many cravings. I got so sick getting off it i'm not sure it's worth it. I rarely get ill going off pills if i do it's very short lived. That m-done kick no lie was about a month of feeling terrible.
Hi ZG, you sound great !! So glad to hear your doing well !...
... the methadone thing, well, since Im still on it , I sure havent much to say ...except...addicition is a lifetime battle...I might get off one day and then have to get back on to get myself through sometimes too...you know how it is, always starts small and then before ya know it your back on the H...so please be careful...addicition is progressive...dont forget...and if Mdone would settle your head and cravings, then dont beat yourself up about it...do it and get clean as you can...just my humble two cents today I guess...Im really glad your doing so well !! WOW, that trip sounds SOOOOOO good !! Enjoy !!
Con
... the methadone thing, well, since Im still on it , I sure havent much to say ...except...addicition is a lifetime battle...I might get off one day and then have to get back on to get myself through sometimes too...you know how it is, always starts small and then before ya know it your back on the H...so please be careful...addicition is progressive...dont forget...and if Mdone would settle your head and cravings, then dont beat yourself up about it...do it and get clean as you can...just my humble two cents today I guess...Im really glad your doing so well !! WOW, that trip sounds SOOOOOO good !! Enjoy !!
Con
Yeah I should get back into the clinic. This problem started out as benzos only now i won't turn down anything. In fact it's nasty. My fiance had hand surgery he got 40 extra strength Vicodin. He was not taking them. I gave the dog the bottle to chew up i took em. Told him the dog got em and slobbered all over em i tossed them out. I had not done anything like since getting off H. I need m-done but, i hate going back there.
BE Careful out there
muchlove
jack
muchlove
jack
ZG...get yourself to the clinic...like, now...doing the thing with the pill bottle and the dog...its urgent now i think...please go...your on shaky ground and you know it...just go and get it over with...once its done and your back on mdone you'll be relieved you did it...first step is always the hardest...thinking about you..
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Con
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Con
ZG good to see ya post....and that things concerning yer family and yer trip are lookin good......ZG are ya happy?coz i remember ya saying ages ago that ya didnt want to live a life dictated by yer husbands financial high ground......apart from that Ms.you and i know ya are playing with fire.....all those pills plus the beers on top are gonna take there toll and just like getting the high dose vikes....yer getting the taste for opiates and with yer family history you know how easy it would be to score.You are gonna get a similar feeling to that of dope from the downers and booze,so if ya think going back to the clinic is a good idea,then so be it ....but i would really think this over for YOU and yer family,lastime round with the juice ya know ya came off to quick and that im sure scared you......its kinda like this if yer really think the wheels are gonna fall off....then seek help at the clinic....but have ya got a plan?Ive been on it over 8yrs.thats my choice,i take it as prescribed etc.but also because know myself i would find it hard to live a completly drugfree life,but with the methadone i can live within its framework and stay clean....im under no illusion that ive swapped one addiction for another but its the cheaper and safer alternative in many ways.Sorry for the preamble,but ZG really think this out ,from every possible angle.Get back to us.....all the very besst..........Davey
Thanks for the concern and replies. People here always have solid advice based on experience I appreciate that. I fully know that m-done could be my saving grace. As far as being happy well I think I am. I am not depressed. I look forwords to working. I wake up grab my coffee get kids to school get myself to work this is the most productive i've ever been. I do it because i enjoy it. I'm not one to do things I don't enjoy "i'm a thrill seeker". I did/do have issue with my fianc. I don't like feeling i'm riding off him. It makes me want to do more to show him up or something. We are not equals. He treats me so very well he puts up with my children my mood swings. I've never done without anything he gets me everything i need except emotional support. I do love him. I know he is totaly blind to the suffering of my addiction. I was shooting up oxy in december "that has stopped" he was clueless. I told him about it in march i told him i needed m-done treatment he was not open to it AT ALL. We went down that road before the 1st week off h going to the clinic i would cry the whole ride there. It was just bad times dark days. He would not go into the clinic with me. I was on to high a dose he took me out to eat i was nodding out at the place we left before we ate. I was on 130mg. I know i can go back without his approvel without his knowlege. I leave before he gets up i can dose in the early morning before work. It may come to that i just have to do it without his support. I feel nasty about it. I may go i have to do planning it cost 50.00 to admit intake then 13.00 a day dose. I only make 14.00 a hour part time it would put a dent in my pocket cash. The pills i get now are next to free my brother mom grandmother all feed this addiction it's super easy to get a high on cheaper then 13.00 a day. I do have a plan he will be out of town in early May for a week i think i'll do do it then they only admit at 4am.
wow ZG...can see the reason why it all seems so dark...you had some bad days back then with it all...and he's really not open to it...that sucks, I was lucky that my partner helped me with that part...was totally open to me going on mdone.. different people I guess...well...lets see...you dont think he would be open to talking about it again ? you know, in a quiet calm down way ?....understand going behind his back wouldnt feel good...maybe tell him and then if he doesnt support it, well, at least you told him, then keep it quiet and just low key and go about your business...the money...ya, it takes a chunk out of mine every week too...but worth it...thats a non issue kind of...you need to do wht you need to do ZG...no one will be happy if you ground out and go back on the H..no one wins then...most of all you....like I should be talking right now, craving from hell I am...but...you know what I mean...and of course if it too much your going to nod...maybe explain that to him too...I dont know ZG..just dont want any of us to crash and burn if we dont have to...me included ! Hugs !!
Con
Con
