Homeless.

my boyfriend is now homeless, he's also a crack user. He s now in jail and is getting bonded out today, we've been apart for 2 weeks now.
he was using until he got arrested...i will not leave him, i love him.
but im scared, becaues im a recovering addict myself and ...well,im afraid that when he comes out and wants to go back to stealing, i wont be ab;le to stop him. i use to accompany him on the stealing rampage....but i dont think my freedom is worth money anymore. its the only thing i have,thats perfect.
my freedom.
when he comes out....i dont know where im going to stick him mind. i cant bare to think of him sleeping on the street while im lying on my cozy bed....it seems so wrong. i just couldnt appreciate the warmth knowing that he's cold. and he cant come here, my mother saids she doesnt want any men living here...exc. shes right. he's my load, not hers.

im afraid, so afraid, that he'll start wanting to smoke crack again,that he's going to start beoing xactly who he use to be....2 weeks isnt enough time for anyone to recover. i dont want to use again, but i know that if he starts talking about crack and starts needing it again, my body is going to give me cravings, and im terrified of those...

i wont leave him, but can anyone tell me how to handle the situation in the right way.

thank u.
leiana
If you won't leave him and don't think you can prevent yourself from using again if he does, then you're putting yourself in lose-lose situation. How can you claim you have freedom if you're committed to someone who will facilitate your deadly addiction?

How should you handle the situation? Focus on your recovery and tell him you're doing so. If he decides to join you (in seeking help) then you will both be better off. If he chooses a differrent path, then so be it. If you remain clean and he doesn't the relationship is doomed to fail anyways.
my heart goes out to you i read your poem that you wrote and posted earlier, and it brought tears to my eyes . i'm on here searching for advice on my boyfriend as he uses coke but it isn't getting him in trouble yet only with me. i have no advice to give except the world and people have lot to offer be patient and true with yourself and im sure that you will get there in the end .you cant carry the burden of your lover and your self. sort your self out first then go back to help him. may be . but then what do i know ?but to me that sounds about right. my love to you .
Leiana-
http://www.agrm.org/missions.html

This is a website for rescue missions, I'm not sure where you are and if there are any close to you. After I ran out of money, I found a mission near where I am from. My daughter went on her own and did very well for a while. A great program even if you don't hold strong religious beliefs. At the very least she was clean, safe and off the streets in a caring atmosphere for a while. The one thing she got out of it was knowing there are alot of people less fortunate than she. They help the poor and homeless in the community. Maybe there is one in your area and maybe your boyfriend would want to try it out. I too read your thoughts and wanted to respond, but didn't know quite what to say. Your words touched me. You seem so young, but also quite wise in your own way. Your honest, something most addicts have a tough time with. You have responded to many of the posts here, with advice from the point of view of the addict, something that some of us can not relate to. I can only know what its like to be hurt and dissapointed by the addict. Thank you and keep posting. Big hug to you.
thanks so much ooo,pat and milo.

i guess all of u are right...and im sure the relationship will be doomed anyway but im willing to go all the way and see for myself if he will or he wont.

ooo,thanks for being so supportive. soemtimes thats all we need.not an accurate answer but a reply,its nice to know somebody understands and is listening.

pat
thanks so much for having added that link.i will see to that right away.
love,leiana
good luck with the future. if you look at this again i hope you know that im thinking of you. would have posted sooner but pc was down. x
i am looking at this again..and i am thinking of u too.
thank you...
Leiana,

You haven't posted in quite a while. Did your boyfriend come home. How are things going? Are you doing OK? I've been thinking about you and hopeing you are staying strong. My daughter went to a dance Friday night, it was supposed to be drug and alcohol free. She met a guy who had some crack and left the dance, went on a 3 day binge. Now she doesn't want to go back to the rehab, they won't allow her back anyway. I'm at the end of my rope, I don't know what to do. I can't let her come home, I don't know who this guy is or where she is staying. She called her sister asking her to send money by Western Union. She said she want's to do it on her own, but she has tried and failed miserably at that so many times.
hello pat.

wel pat i dont know what to say about daughter...

she has to want to stop.
nothing will stop her except herself.

as for me and my bf,
not good!
leiana,
Have you relapsed? I have been worried about that, since you stopped posting. I know how hard this is. I wish I could say something to help. You have your whole life ahead of you, not an old f*rt like me. You seem so bright, and I think I remember that you said you liked to draw or paint, so you must be talanted. I have driven myself crazy for many years trying to understand WHY, why throw it all away for a love/hate relationship with a drug. Crack is the closest thing to the devil that I have ever seen. What's going on with you and BF?