I received a phone call tonight from my sister, The call came in at 1145pm. I was fast asleep. Please bear with me, as I write this. My older sister called to tell me that my niece, who was just 17-OD and died tonight. She was a beautiful girl, so much going for her-and she took oxys. I cant write, I cant stop crying---help me----help, please bring her back and take me--she is to young. From what her friends had said it was her first time, I cant drive to see then, I am crushed--I remember the day she was born, the joy, her face, toes, and fingers. I dont know know why I am writing this, I am shatteredm shattered---they say that there are lessons to be learned when things happen---I HATE GOD...HATE HIM--HATE HIM...why ? why ?
I did not listen to what was being told to me, I am weak,please tell me why ? 17 ? thats all 17....I dont want het to be alone, god help me...
For those of you that think it can happen-PLEASE DONT MAKE ANY OF YOUR FAMILY MEMEMBERS FEEL LIKE ME---My heart is broken, I loved her so much- I cant stop cryingg
hello sweetie heart i so your post im so sorry is there anyway you can go to see your sister how muchdid she take o sweetie what can i do to help love yspearing
were are you dear
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I know there is nothing I can say that can console you. It is not easy losingsomeone especially that young. Right now I know you say you hate God, but I will pray for you and your family to get through this dark time. I wish I can take away all your pain!! Only time and prayer will help you at this time. You will be in my prayers!! I am here if ya need someone to talk to . Ann
oneill, I really don't know what to say. So I am going to send you over some love.
Please don't use, it won't work, it won't be worth it. Just trust me on this one. I too hate God at times, I just can't see the damn logic in those situations. A good friend of mine told me that the addicts that die young are the lucky ones. Never made much sense to me....but maybe this is an example of that.
I am soooooo sorry that happened. I just don't know what to say..
I know how you feel about trading your life for hers...
I am going to stop here because I think that I could make it worse for you. Please know that you will get through this...it will hurt like hell....but you can make it. Using again would be the last thing that she would have wanted.
kerry
Please don't use, it won't work, it won't be worth it. Just trust me on this one. I too hate God at times, I just can't see the damn logic in those situations. A good friend of mine told me that the addicts that die young are the lucky ones. Never made much sense to me....but maybe this is an example of that.
I am soooooo sorry that happened. I just don't know what to say..
I know how you feel about trading your life for hers...
I am going to stop here because I think that I could make it worse for you. Please know that you will get through this...it will hurt like hell....but you can make it. Using again would be the last thing that she would have wanted.
kerry
Most of us see death as a bad thing because it separates us from those we love, but the life beyond is wonderful....much better than this life. My dear father passed away 8 years ago after a long battle with emphysema and I yearned to see and hear and touch him. In time, I have come to sense his presence with me and the heartache isn't as bad. I still miss his earthly presence in my life and seeing and hearing him on home movies actually takes my breathe away and makes me cry, but I know he is in a better place and that we will spend eternity together if I continue to follow Jesus.
It is hard to understand why someone so young dies but God won't take away our free will. If we make bad decisions and take chances with our health, there are natural consequences. God doesn't take...he receives with loving arms!
Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am truly sorry for your loss!
Susan
It is hard to understand why someone so young dies but God won't take away our free will. If we make bad decisions and take chances with our health, there are natural consequences. God doesn't take...he receives with loving arms!
Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am truly sorry for your loss!
Susan
Hey O,
I'm so sorry for your loss. And your pain. I'm sure she was a beautiful young girl and that you had a special relationship. She is at peace now, no pain. The work of living can be a lot harder on the survivors..... I'm with you my friend. M.
I'm so sorry for your loss. And your pain. I'm sure she was a beautiful young girl and that you had a special relationship. She is at peace now, no pain. The work of living can be a lot harder on the survivors..... I'm with you my friend. M.
this is so sad, o'neill. i'm so sorry you are experiencing this. my nephew was killed in an automobile accident last february. the sudden death of our loved ones is a tremendous tradgedy to deal with, especially when that loved one is a child.
i remember when my husband was diagnosed with a terminal disease - i too was angry with and questioned God. this is a very normal reaction in the grief cycle. eventually, i came to the place of acceptance and realized that God's grace was so ever present, it was me who had moved away. it's the process, my friend and takes time. i hope with time you will realize this too.
additionally, i would suggest that you reach out to your support network a little more during this difficult time. ask for all the support you can get. it has been my experience that this disease of addiction is cunning, baffling, and powerful. i could justify just about anything i was feeling (especially during sad times) as a reason to use.
may you and your family's hearts be tenderly enveloped with love - love of each other, love from friends, love of the universe.
my thoughts and prayers are with you.
namaste'
sammy
i remember when my husband was diagnosed with a terminal disease - i too was angry with and questioned God. this is a very normal reaction in the grief cycle. eventually, i came to the place of acceptance and realized that God's grace was so ever present, it was me who had moved away. it's the process, my friend and takes time. i hope with time you will realize this too.
additionally, i would suggest that you reach out to your support network a little more during this difficult time. ask for all the support you can get. it has been my experience that this disease of addiction is cunning, baffling, and powerful. i could justify just about anything i was feeling (especially during sad times) as a reason to use.
may you and your family's hearts be tenderly enveloped with love - love of each other, love from friends, love of the universe.
my thoughts and prayers are with you.
namaste'
sammy
this is the 2nd loss in 3 months, these kids are so young, and drugs seem like the answer. I am so angry, and hurt--I have never felt so hurt, never--I remember holding her when she was born, and watching her grow up--I myself want to use so bad, so bad---I am questioning why not, what the hell---life was going well, and I know nothing is promised, I know each day is a new one---but does god like hurting us ? Does he wanna see how much we can take before we crash and burn ?
From what I have been told, it was hurt first time trying oxy's and she took the strongest amount--I dont know much about them--God please help me, give me the courage to get through this,
From what I have been told, it was hurt first time trying oxy's and she took the strongest amount--I dont know much about them--God please help me, give me the courage to get through this,
god bless im praying for you my sweete heart love yspearing
oneill- All I can say is I feel your hurt. If you are religious, open what ever book you have and read. It will help. If not, then know we all here support you. What a terrible thing. I worry so much about my own kids. Because I know what they can get into and us as parents don't know. It's one of my biggest worries. I remember my daughter (who is now 19) being born, and I, yep the big STRONG Dad, fainting in the delivery room.
My thoughts are with you hun ((((((((hugs)))))))) jackie xxx
Oneill,
I'm so very sorry for your loss - my thoughts and prayers are with you. Please take care of yourself.
Love,
Marie
I'm so very sorry for your loss - my thoughts and prayers are with you. Please take care of yourself.
Love,
Marie
I'm so sorry for your loss. I pray maybe one child or parent can read your post and learn the heartache that those left behind are dealing with.
I worry about where you place your anger. God will be there by your side if you let him.. Pray for some comfort as we here pray for you as well. Let us know how things are going.
I too lost my nephew 2 years ago and the worst part was my 21 year old son was the one that woke up and found him with a needle in his arm. He had to perform CPR on his own cousin that was 5 months younger than him. There are grief councilors out that that can be of great help.
We love you,
Labecca
I worry about where you place your anger. God will be there by your side if you let him.. Pray for some comfort as we here pray for you as well. Let us know how things are going.
I too lost my nephew 2 years ago and the worst part was my 21 year old son was the one that woke up and found him with a needle in his arm. He had to perform CPR on his own cousin that was 5 months younger than him. There are grief councilors out that that can be of great help.
We love you,
Labecca
Oneil - I'm so sorry about your loss. It's so sad. My thoughts and prayers are wih you and your family at this time. Jim
Thanks for your post--this is to much to quick for me. I am trying so hard to undertsand, please believe me I am. I want to take soemthing to ease this pain, but I cant-I cant-I have spent today talking to no one--not answeering the phone, not eating nothing I am lost-
O- Last Jan- I found my Mom dead (or basically dead) on her livingroom floor. I sat there as 911 was trying to help her. I felt so helpless. She was in the hospital for 2 weeks and passed. It was SO hard. It still is. I cry as I type this. I know this has what sent me on this spiral down. DONT let it happen to you. My Mom and I were close. And she died for no reason. Please my god just please don't let happen to me happen to you. O- You are WAY stronger than me. Just remember to leave good footprints behind...
O' -- please hang in. You've come too far. I know the pain is extreme, but can you get to a meeting or be around any family or really close friends, to talk it out? Being alone with it can be brutal....oh hell, it's times like these when this Board really is inadequate to offer help and support. I just wish you comfort, some measure of peace, and time. And don't pick up, no matter what. We're here for you my friend, as much as we can be...... M.
Thanks for your post--this is to much to quick for me. I am trying so hard to undertsand, please believe me I am. I want to take soemthing to ease this pain, but I cant-I cant-I have spent today talking to no one--not answeering the phone, not eating nothing I am lost-
dear o'neill -
of all the emotions i've had the opportunity to experience, grief over the death of a loved one is the strongest emoiton that exposes my vulnerabilities. being vulnerable is something this addict wanted no one to see. what i have learned is that when i'm at my most vulnerable, i also experience humility (if i allow this). when i'm humble, my healing can begin.
this tragedy you and your family have recently learned of, is still too new, too fresh in your hearts. we don't get over something like a death of a loved one overnight. this isolation you speak of is part of the grieving process, yet one that we find in time, we do move on from.
you also suffer from the disease of addiction - a disease that looks for every opportunity to rear its' ugly head. it's cunning, baffling, and powerful and will seduce us into feelings of how we can "justify" using, especially when crisises such as you have just experienced, become forefront in our lives.
this "justification" is nothing more than rational-lies (rationalize), because for most pill addicts, one pill is too many and one thousand is not enough.
i'm reminded of a slogan we see around the rooms of recovery. actually, it's an acronym - H.A.L.T. we don't want to let ourselves get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. i find that when one of these things happens, i have this uncanny way of adding more problems to my problems that already exist.
below i have posted a bit on the stages of grief and a brief comment about grief and crisis decisions. this theory on grief was first written by elisabeth kubler ross in her book "on death and dying". it gave me great insight into grief and the grieving process. it also provided great comfort and an explanation to why i felt my emotions were all over the place, after the physical loss of a loved one.
i can understand where you are in this process and also want you to know that there is absolutely no reason why you have to go this alone. my prayer this morning is that you be still - quiet your mind and tap back into that place in your spirit that gave you the courage to discuss your pain and vulnerabilities here on this forum. ask this place to enable you with more courage to reach out in your "face to face" life for the comfort and support you require during this most vulnerable and sad time. it's there o'neill and yours for the taking.
my thoughts and prayers are with you.
namaste'
sammy
___________
during a stressful period or disaster, the decision-making process can be greatly affected by our emotional responses to grief. during this difficult time, a lot of decisions may have to be made. be aware of the grief stages and their effect on decision-making. the following is elizabeth kubler ross' model of grief stages, with comments on our ability to make decisions during each stage.
stage 1: shock and denial. it is common for people to avoid making decisions or taking action at this point.
stage 2: anger. making decisions at this point is difficult because all one's energy gets put into the emotion rather than problem solving.
stage 3: depression and detachment. because it's hard to make decisions at this stage, consider asking a family member, friend, or professional for help if important decisions need to be made.
stage 4: dialogue and bargaining. people become more willing to explore alternatives after expressing their feelings.
stage 5: acceptance. decisions are much easier to make because people have found new purpose and meaning.
dear o'neill -
of all the emotions i've had the opportunity to experience, grief over the death of a loved one is the strongest emoiton that exposes my vulnerabilities. being vulnerable is something this addict wanted no one to see. what i have learned is that when i'm at my most vulnerable, i also experience humility (if i allow this). when i'm humble, my healing can begin.
this tragedy you and your family have recently learned of, is still too new, too fresh in your hearts. we don't get over something like a death of a loved one overnight. this isolation you speak of is part of the grieving process, yet one that we find in time, we do move on from.
you also suffer from the disease of addiction - a disease that looks for every opportunity to rear its' ugly head. it's cunning, baffling, and powerful and will seduce us into feelings of how we can "justify" using, especially when crisises such as you have just experienced, become forefront in our lives.
this "justification" is nothing more than rational-lies (rationalize), because for most pill addicts, one pill is too many and one thousand is not enough.
i'm reminded of a slogan we see around the rooms of recovery. actually, it's an acronym - H.A.L.T. we don't want to let ourselves get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. i find that when one of these things happens, i have this uncanny way of adding more problems to my problems that already exist.
below i have posted a bit on the stages of grief and a brief comment about grief and crisis decisions. this theory on grief was first written by elisabeth kubler ross in her book "on death and dying". it gave me great insight into grief and the grieving process. it also provided great comfort and an explanation to why i felt my emotions were all over the place, after the physical loss of a loved one.
i can understand where you are in this process and also want you to know that there is absolutely no reason why you have to go this alone. my prayer this morning is that you be still - quiet your mind and tap back into that place in your spirit that gave you the courage to discuss your pain and vulnerabilities here on this forum. ask this place to enable you with more courage to reach out in your "face to face" life for the comfort and support you require during this most vulnerable and sad time. it's there o'neill and yours for the taking.
my thoughts and prayers are with you.
namaste'
sammy
___________
during a stressful period or disaster, the decision-making process can be greatly affected by our emotional responses to grief. during this difficult time, a lot of decisions may have to be made. be aware of the grief stages and their effect on decision-making. the following is elizabeth kubler ross' model of grief stages, with comments on our ability to make decisions during each stage.
stage 1: shock and denial. it is common for people to avoid making decisions or taking action at this point.
stage 2: anger. making decisions at this point is difficult because all one's energy gets put into the emotion rather than problem solving.
stage 3: depression and detachment. because it's hard to make decisions at this stage, consider asking a family member, friend, or professional for help if important decisions need to be made.
stage 4: dialogue and bargaining. people become more willing to explore alternatives after expressing their feelings.
stage 5: acceptance. decisions are much easier to make because people have found new purpose and meaning.
Oniel
I have never spoken to you but I just had to say how sorry I am for your loss.
Sammy s brilliant post on elizabeth kubler ross' 5 stages of grieve should help you to understand what you are going through. Incidentally I think they can also be applied to loss of an addiction in the early stages. Some of us do grieve that loss and go through all the stages even bargaining.you knowwhen you say to yourself just a couple of drinks or a pill, just today to get me over this hump and I will be fine tomorrow. Eventually some come round to accepting the condition.
What also comes to mind, and you can use this metaphorically, Is when Jesus went up the mountain, alone, to fast and pray. After 40 days when Jesus was at his weakest, thats when the devil picked his moment to attack him and try to trick him.
That is what the disease is doing to you attacking you at a weak time when you are at your most venerable. Dont listen it will not make things better.
Bless you
Paul
I have never spoken to you but I just had to say how sorry I am for your loss.
Sammy s brilliant post on elizabeth kubler ross' 5 stages of grieve should help you to understand what you are going through. Incidentally I think they can also be applied to loss of an addiction in the early stages. Some of us do grieve that loss and go through all the stages even bargaining.you knowwhen you say to yourself just a couple of drinks or a pill, just today to get me over this hump and I will be fine tomorrow. Eventually some come round to accepting the condition.
What also comes to mind, and you can use this metaphorically, Is when Jesus went up the mountain, alone, to fast and pray. After 40 days when Jesus was at his weakest, thats when the devil picked his moment to attack him and try to trick him.
That is what the disease is doing to you attacking you at a weak time when you are at your most venerable. Dont listen it will not make things better.
Bless you
Paul