I have a question for addicts. My addict is currently being released to my home, but will be on house arrest until November (the court date). He is begging and pleading to be released to my home (he was kicked out a year ago and it has gotten really bad for him). Has currently been locked up 2 weeks. Can any tell me if they have had this experience? If so, what was the outcome?
Sorry don't know, can tell you what I think as an adict but never been in that situation, does he really want to give up the H, are what ever his drug of choice is?
will he have to stay in jail if you don't, and what are your main worry's.
Will help you in ever way I can.
G
will he have to stay in jail if you don't, and what are your main worry's.
Will help you in ever way I can.
G
Will he be wearing an ankle monitoring device?
If so, they have to submit a schedule and be where they are supposed to be at all times. And, if he's not where he is supposed to be, they will consider it as an escape from incarceration, adding another very serious charge. They will also have to submit to random drug screening. And, in many states any extra calling features must be removed from the phone, like recorded messages, call forwarding, 3 way calling, etc.
If he's been in for 2 weeks he's probably kicked the worst of it, does he have a plan of follow-up action? Like therapy, counseling, meetings. Does he have a support system (this does not include you) in place? Other recovering addicts he can turn to when them overwhelming cravings come?
And, the big question, do you want him living with you??? If he was kicked out before, what has changed since then? Maybe a sober home, recovery house, halfway house would be a better option.
If so, they have to submit a schedule and be where they are supposed to be at all times. And, if he's not where he is supposed to be, they will consider it as an escape from incarceration, adding another very serious charge. They will also have to submit to random drug screening. And, in many states any extra calling features must be removed from the phone, like recorded messages, call forwarding, 3 way calling, etc.
If he's been in for 2 weeks he's probably kicked the worst of it, does he have a plan of follow-up action? Like therapy, counseling, meetings. Does he have a support system (this does not include you) in place? Other recovering addicts he can turn to when them overwhelming cravings come?
And, the big question, do you want him living with you??? If he was kicked out before, what has changed since then? Maybe a sober home, recovery house, halfway house would be a better option.
He is currently locked up and wants to be put on house arrest at your house, correct? He was in acctive heroin addiction when he got locked up? Was he living with you? You said he was kicked out. What was he locked up for?
He may want the house arrest so he can continue his addiction. I don't think you have given enough details to really give you an informed opinion though.
He may want the house arrest so he can continue his addiction. I don't think you have given enough details to really give you an informed opinion though.
"H" and Crack is the drug of choice, He was arrested for posession of "H". If
He does not come to my house he may or may not remain in jail as he has no permanent address. Monitoring device will be used. My fears are relaps, I don't trust him enough to have free time (as I work full time) so therefore how will he get the proper help he needs? Also, would he just get fed up with being in the home all the time, and just remove the device and jet for the drug world.
He has stated that he despartly wants to quit and can't if thrown back into the previous environment (streets). I want to believe, but am afraid that he is just saying that because he is currently in jail. Thank you for any advice.
He does not come to my house he may or may not remain in jail as he has no permanent address. Monitoring device will be used. My fears are relaps, I don't trust him enough to have free time (as I work full time) so therefore how will he get the proper help he needs? Also, would he just get fed up with being in the home all the time, and just remove the device and jet for the drug world.
He has stated that he despartly wants to quit and can't if thrown back into the previous environment (streets). I want to believe, but am afraid that he is just saying that because he is currently in jail. Thank you for any advice.
Sounds like he has already relapsed in his mind, and is desperate to get out. He's setting himself up for more charges, and you for more disappointment.
I would suggest that he talk with his case worker at the jail, and try to arrange for either inpatient rehab or at least an Oxford Home or other structured sober home to go to.
And, yes they can just take the monitor off and hit the streets, or his using friends can just bring him what he wants to YOUR home.
I would suggest that he talk with his case worker at the jail, and try to arrange for either inpatient rehab or at least an Oxford Home or other structured sober home to go to.
And, yes they can just take the monitor off and hit the streets, or his using friends can just bring him what he wants to YOUR home.
Guest 2 : That is one of my fears, as He has been clean for 45 days before, and just stated to me last week that "H" was the best high he has ever had. I want to help and believe...but I'm fearful of the disappointments and drama that may come. I think this is just jail talking. So far he has not be able to get a bond. Unfortunately our system, will not bond them to a facility or rehab unless there is already one to go to. With him being an adult (no insurance) he would have to make that happen thru our Community Service Board.
So therefore I have a couple of concerns.....at the level of his living, it looks like he is at rock bottom, He has already agreed with the house arrest , If I don't agree with the house arrest, he may get out and just be right back to the street.
So therefore I have a couple of concerns.....at the level of his living, it looks like he is at rock bottom, He has already agreed with the house arrest , If I don't agree with the house arrest, he may get out and just be right back to the street.
hey good morning....
i have been reading your thread and posts.....i would like to add something if that would be okay?
not feeling clever
i have been reading your thread and posts.....i would like to add something if that would be okay?
not feeling clever
What you or I consider rock bottom may not be anywhere close to what he considers rock bottom. Everyones is different.
If he has no place to go to, the system even setting a bond is more unlikely. And, if they do set bond, will anybody come up with the money to bail him out, knowing there is a good chance they will lose it?
If he talks with his case worker, there is a chance that arrangements can be made for a rehab or sober home to accept him straight out of jail. But, I'm assuming you are in the U.S.. If you are in the UK or Canada things work differently there.
The case worker could also provide him with a list of rehabs that HE can write to. (Note the HE in capital letters, meaning NOT you). If he wants it bad enough, he must do the work.
If he has no place to go to, the system even setting a bond is more unlikely. And, if they do set bond, will anybody come up with the money to bail him out, knowing there is a good chance they will lose it?
If he talks with his case worker, there is a chance that arrangements can be made for a rehab or sober home to accept him straight out of jail. But, I'm assuming you are in the U.S.. If you are in the UK or Canada things work differently there.
The case worker could also provide him with a list of rehabs that HE can write to. (Note the HE in capital letters, meaning NOT you). If he wants it bad enough, he must do the work.
NFC,
Jump in anytime, the more thoughts the better.
Jump in anytime, the more thoughts the better.
okay.....i will post anyway, because Guest 2 addressed basically what i was going to say.
addicts use incredible amounts of energy, money, creativity, tenacity, committment, etc. to continue using.
if he truly wants to be clean, then if he used maybe only 1/3 that amount of energy he could find a situation for himself that is safe and educational and a part of his recovery......but, for sure, if he is to get clean, and stay clean HE has to do it himself...otherwise, you letting him into your home sounds alot like enabling him to me.....just my opinion though.
also.....if you do allow him in your home....i would think a must would be a copy of his plan for staying clean.......does he have one?
i think everyone who has used and is in recovery will tell you that a plan to stay clean is a must....of course, we all know it is one day at a time.....but we all must have a plan of recovery....
good luck,
not feeling clever
addicts use incredible amounts of energy, money, creativity, tenacity, committment, etc. to continue using.
if he truly wants to be clean, then if he used maybe only 1/3 that amount of energy he could find a situation for himself that is safe and educational and a part of his recovery......but, for sure, if he is to get clean, and stay clean HE has to do it himself...otherwise, you letting him into your home sounds alot like enabling him to me.....just my opinion though.
also.....if you do allow him in your home....i would think a must would be a copy of his plan for staying clean.......does he have one?
i think everyone who has used and is in recovery will tell you that a plan to stay clean is a must....of course, we all know it is one day at a time.....but we all must have a plan of recovery....
good luck,
not feeling clever
| QUOTE |
| If I don't agree with the house arrest, he may get out and just be right back to the street. |
If you do, he might as well. Either way, you are not responsible for him getting and staying clean and sober. In my opinion, it does not sound like he has hit bottom. It just sounds like he doesn't want to be locked up. Even locked up he may not change. He will just be detoxed. He could be in for a period of time walk out and use. If the attitude was find a program, I would think differently. But to me it just seems he wants out.
i have no experience with jail personally, but i understand you can get any kind of drug you would want there.......does anyone here know if this is true?
if it is, he may not be detoxed at all, right?
not feeling clever
if it is, he may not be detoxed at all, right?
not feeling clever
In county jail it's a little harder than in prison, but it's still there. They are all there for less than a year and are a little more careful. Prison is an open market for whatever you want. If you have a life sentence and get caught with drugs, it doesn't matter.
There is no control ever, and you will drive yourself crazy trying to understand what his motives are....If he is ready to change, not ready. There is only one constant, when he is done then he will be done, that simple never much having anything to do with you or anything else, but him being ready to make a change....
All your concern should be right now is for you. I understand more then anything that you wish him to get this and be clean living in life, but only HE can do that. There are many places out there in which he can get help if he chooses to, and having no insurance isn't a road block as most would seem to think, beds can be though a big problem. But if he pushes and pushes for it he will get one......
I agree that he sounds like he is setting himself up to fall......
Take good care of YOU,
Love,
Tina
All your concern should be right now is for you. I understand more then anything that you wish him to get this and be clean living in life, but only HE can do that. There are many places out there in which he can get help if he chooses to, and having no insurance isn't a road block as most would seem to think, beds can be though a big problem. But if he pushes and pushes for it he will get one......
I agree that he sounds like he is setting himself up to fall......
Take good care of YOU,
Love,
Tina
NFC: We are in the states and what I have been told, is that it's eaiser to get the dope in the prisons not so easy in the local jail.
My mama always said....when in doubt....don't. Boy is he gonna be disappointed. Yes he has someone to go the bond, but so far, I've been blocking the bond, by disclosing the truth of the residence.
Thank you all.....any more advice is greatly appreciated....I will be speaking with the Prosecuting Attorny on Monday.
My mama always said....when in doubt....don't. Boy is he gonna be disappointed. Yes he has someone to go the bond, but so far, I've been blocking the bond, by disclosing the truth of the residence.
Thank you all.....any more advice is greatly appreciated....I will be speaking with the Prosecuting Attorny on Monday.
Ahhh....sounds like you are trying to control the situation a little bit. Not sure who the addict is to you, I assumed a boyfriend or X boyfriend. It's tough to sit back and watch it all play out, not to jump in and do what you think is best for them. But, this is what must be done. Hands off. It's quite OK to encourage them or offer tools so they can help themselves, but not doing the reverse manipulating.
If you don't want him living with you, say so, if he's upset or disappointed, so be it. It's all about what you want, what's best for you. Like NFC said, they are oh so clever when it comes to ways to continue their using, it only takes a portion of that thinking to form a plan for getting and staying clean.
If you don't want him living with you, say so, if he's upset or disappointed, so be it. It's all about what you want, what's best for you. Like NFC said, they are oh so clever when it comes to ways to continue their using, it only takes a portion of that thinking to form a plan for getting and staying clean.
he sounds like a mirror image of my self many yrs.ago.i did 9mnth,of a 12mnt,sentance,possesion with intent,in Pentonville prison in London in the early 90,s.went in with a smallish habit,which continued on/off inside,as the flow of smack was qiute prevelant.near the end of my time i did a 10day prison detox[part of my early release deal]which was a meth.reduction&sleepers,gave my last clean urine 2days before release,but in my head it was just to get out early,for my freedom yes,but also for drugs.got out&stayed clean for all of 45mins,,just my angle.if u wanna u will ,maybe,but if u dont really&prisons is full of drug stories/schemes/deals/contacts to put any sane person back on,it will be very hard to resist on the outside...all the best....davey
The one time they let me have house arrest was because the charge wasnt to seroius. Also,it was 1 of my 1st run-ins with the law,so my jacket didnt look so bad.
Anyway, (this was county not state) this police tech. came to my home & installed a gadjet to the phone. Then I had a electronic bracelet put on my right wrist. They put it on with these rivet type things that secured it so I couldnt take it off. When they called ,the unit that they attached to the phone would start buzzing( I had 30 seconds to get to the phone). After I answered it,a recording would say" this is the xxxxxxxx County probation dept. -please put your wrislet into the slot". Then the machine would start making beeping noises- sending a signal to them that I was in the house.
I took it pretty seriously ,If I took out the garbage & was going to not hear the phone ,I would rush like a lunitic.
Also, they make surprize visits while you have this bracelet- so you would be taking a huge chance if you wanted to go out.
The other thing is - - no guests. They dont want to come to check on you,and when I say check I mean take a urine sample, and see anyone who doesnt live there hanging out with you.-Also,NO alcohol !!!!
That is a voilation.
I guess its suppossed to be like your locked and confined.Even though it is your own house. It is a huge break to get this. I had a job at the time ,so for the 30 days I had this ,I had to tell the people at work it was some type of heart moniter or something I really forget what I told them at this point..
After the 30 days (if all is well) they come and take thier machine and unclip thier devise.
I was allowed only work- I think 8 to 5 or so , they include travel time. You could bet your paycheck that that devise would ring at 5:15
I got thru it - I wish I had that option everytime,unfourtunetly- they give it to you once. (In this state anyway)
Best of luck
jack
Anyway, (this was county not state) this police tech. came to my home & installed a gadjet to the phone. Then I had a electronic bracelet put on my right wrist. They put it on with these rivet type things that secured it so I couldnt take it off. When they called ,the unit that they attached to the phone would start buzzing( I had 30 seconds to get to the phone). After I answered it,a recording would say" this is the xxxxxxxx County probation dept. -please put your wrislet into the slot". Then the machine would start making beeping noises- sending a signal to them that I was in the house.
I took it pretty seriously ,If I took out the garbage & was going to not hear the phone ,I would rush like a lunitic.
Also, they make surprize visits while you have this bracelet- so you would be taking a huge chance if you wanted to go out.
The other thing is - - no guests. They dont want to come to check on you,and when I say check I mean take a urine sample, and see anyone who doesnt live there hanging out with you.-Also,NO alcohol !!!!
That is a voilation.
I guess its suppossed to be like your locked and confined.Even though it is your own house. It is a huge break to get this. I had a job at the time ,so for the 30 days I had this ,I had to tell the people at work it was some type of heart moniter or something I really forget what I told them at this point..
After the 30 days (if all is well) they come and take thier machine and unclip thier devise.
I was allowed only work- I think 8 to 5 or so , they include travel time. You could bet your paycheck that that devise would ring at 5:15
I got thru it - I wish I had that option everytime,unfourtunetly- they give it to you once. (In this state anyway)
Best of luck
jack
We have a friend on house arrest. His is for DUI. He has one of those ankle devices and he can only go to work, Church, and a hour a week for grocery shopping, and A/A meetings. But one of his house arrest conditions is that he attend 4 A/A meetings a week. Maybe your friend will be required to attend counseling and N/A meetings. Good luck.
