My 27 year old daughter who has a "chemical Imbalance" smokes marijuana on a regular basis with her husband. She has changed into someone we don't know. She is caustic, mean, argumentative, calls me names, and has ruined her only sister's wedding just last weekend by insulting everyone there. As parents, my husband and I are sick and her sister has "written her out of her life". I, as her mother, am heartsick. Are the above personality changes characteristic of being addicted to marijuana? Please reply. Thank you.
Maybe there is more of an underlying problem other than weed. Just a thought. I know smoking pot does alter ones mood but not enough to ruin a wedding. This is coming from knowing my share of people that smoke it and I myself have for years in the past. I don't anymore but I know all about it. I would try and talk to her to see what the real problem is. It's just hard to believe it would turn her into a mean hateful person. Just my 2 cents. Best of Luck to you! Rae
SusanJean, you might want to copy your post and place it on the Families/Partners of Addicts board of this website. I think others there may be able to give you some insight and answers. and maybe some suggestions.
As I progressed more deeply into my addiction, my ability to manage relationships worsened. I was never very good at it, which is one reason I became addicted to begin with.
Think of one's emotions as steam that needs to rise from a water heater. When you do not allow the steam to escape, pressure builds up and sooner or later, it will escape, either by the release of a safety valve or in a more hazardous manner.
Pot is a depressant. We addicts generally possess only one way of coping with anger, and that is to cover it up with dope. When we pour depressants on our anger for a long period of time, pressure builds and sooner or later, one way or another it has to escape. Anger that is pushed down has a funny way of escaping often in harmful ways at the most inopportune times.
As simple as this is to understand, we addicts are clueless as to this process. We rationalize our behavior in gauze of justification. We allow the justification to build up pressure inside us until we find ourselves carrying huge resentments over seemingly minor infractions.
While we are very good at pointing out the imperfections in those around us, we are completely blind to the impact that these resentments have on us and this blinds us to the true nature of our actions and the harm they visit upon others.
The 12 Steps offer a most proven solution to addiction recovery because they teach the addict to begin to take personal responsibility for his or her actions, and to manage his or her anger in a healthy positive manner that builds relationships rather than tearing them down. An addict who does not correct the transgressions of his past tends to repeat it.
Rae makes a good point in suggesting that other things might be contributing to this. Your daughter may be experimenting with other drugs and most likely alcohol as well.
As to the existence of underlying emotional trauma, debating whether the addiction causes the emotional problems or the emotional problems contribute to the addiction is about as fruitful as debating whether the chicken preceded the egg. Until the addict takes personal responsibility for her addiction, her bad behavior will most likely continue. There is little you can do to help your addict come to her senses. You can lead a horse to water but you cant make it think.
I second Dr. Bob's recommendation that you try to tap into the support on the Family and Partners board. They can help you avoid the kinds of entanglements that we addicts love to seize upon to perpetuate our addictive thinking. Our powers of manipulation are second only to the blind eye we take to the consequences of our own actions.
Good luck.
August
Think of one's emotions as steam that needs to rise from a water heater. When you do not allow the steam to escape, pressure builds up and sooner or later, it will escape, either by the release of a safety valve or in a more hazardous manner.
Pot is a depressant. We addicts generally possess only one way of coping with anger, and that is to cover it up with dope. When we pour depressants on our anger for a long period of time, pressure builds and sooner or later, one way or another it has to escape. Anger that is pushed down has a funny way of escaping often in harmful ways at the most inopportune times.
As simple as this is to understand, we addicts are clueless as to this process. We rationalize our behavior in gauze of justification. We allow the justification to build up pressure inside us until we find ourselves carrying huge resentments over seemingly minor infractions.
While we are very good at pointing out the imperfections in those around us, we are completely blind to the impact that these resentments have on us and this blinds us to the true nature of our actions and the harm they visit upon others.
The 12 Steps offer a most proven solution to addiction recovery because they teach the addict to begin to take personal responsibility for his or her actions, and to manage his or her anger in a healthy positive manner that builds relationships rather than tearing them down. An addict who does not correct the transgressions of his past tends to repeat it.
Rae makes a good point in suggesting that other things might be contributing to this. Your daughter may be experimenting with other drugs and most likely alcohol as well.
As to the existence of underlying emotional trauma, debating whether the addiction causes the emotional problems or the emotional problems contribute to the addiction is about as fruitful as debating whether the chicken preceded the egg. Until the addict takes personal responsibility for her addiction, her bad behavior will most likely continue. There is little you can do to help your addict come to her senses. You can lead a horse to water but you cant make it think.
I second Dr. Bob's recommendation that you try to tap into the support on the Family and Partners board. They can help you avoid the kinds of entanglements that we addicts love to seize upon to perpetuate our addictive thinking. Our powers of manipulation are second only to the blind eye we take to the consequences of our own actions.
Good luck.
August
Thank you all for your replies. They were helpful and insightful. I was a child of the "drug era", but never liked drugs, so never did them. I truly appreciate your prompt answers. I will post my message on the other site, although I knew deep down that I can't really help her unless she seeks help.
God Bless.
SusanJean
God Bless.
SusanJean
This sounds so much like my 22 year old son who used to be a kind and loving person that is now very argumentative almost to the point of violance, calls my wife and I names is forgetful. He's the 5th of 5 childern was raised in a good home. Have not really had this situation with the other siblings. Some of us look for excuses, but Its an element as parents we have missed and a lack of facing reality by those addicted.
Here's advice for parents of addicts from a group who routinely deal with addiction issues that may be of help to you:
http://www.co-anon.org/parents.html
http://www.co-anon.org/parents.html
