My husband smokes marijuana. He smoked heavy before we started dating (about 8 years). Two or 3 months after we started dating he quit cold turkey after being arrested for possession and spending a night in jail. He stayed clean for 5 years. However, he started smoking again after we moved close to his family. He started smoking with his brother and old friends. Use then increased and now is at morning and night and several times on the weekend. We have a 3 year old and 2 month old baby.
I want him to stop smoking. I talked to him last night and he doesn't see a problem with his smoking. He just cut me off as I was talking and said he didn't want to talk about it. I don't want him smoking in the house either. I don't want this around my kids, but I love him.
What should I do? He's been smoking for a little over a year that he's been smoking again. Am I fooling myself...will he ever stop? Is there anything I can do?
Thanks for any advice.
Michelle
Dear Michelle
I read your previous posts on Families/Partners of addicts. The answer given to you by LH about boudaries is right:
"To me step one is write down your bounderies, such as NO SMOKING in the house or on your property. Perhaps there are other bounderies, I do not know him."
I am not the wife on a pot addict but the mother of one and I have been told many times, by counselors and therapists, that drugs should not be tolerated in my home. If your husband does not want to stop or listen to you, you need to make him understand that you will not accept his use. You have children and you need to protect them. alanon and naranon can be a source of strengh. People on the boards are advising to attend alanon or naranon meetings. Read again the helpful advice given to lovemyhubby on the Families/Partners of addicts. They are formulated by wise people with much more experience than me.
good luck
I read your previous posts on Families/Partners of addicts. The answer given to you by LH about boudaries is right:
"To me step one is write down your bounderies, such as NO SMOKING in the house or on your property. Perhaps there are other bounderies, I do not know him."
I am not the wife on a pot addict but the mother of one and I have been told many times, by counselors and therapists, that drugs should not be tolerated in my home. If your husband does not want to stop or listen to you, you need to make him understand that you will not accept his use. You have children and you need to protect them. alanon and naranon can be a source of strengh. People on the boards are advising to attend alanon or naranon meetings. Read again the helpful advice given to lovemyhubby on the Families/Partners of addicts. They are formulated by wise people with much more experience than me.
good luck
michelle
unfortunatly there is not much anyone can do to convince and addict to quit until the addict is ready on there own terms. you will have to decide where you will stand on the boundaries and what consequences you are ready to follow through with if he breaks the boundaries. tough love is about your only hope in getting him to quit. is he ready to sacrifice his family for his love of the weed? are you prepared to leave him or will you just tolerate his drug use?
unfortunatly there is not much anyone can do to convince and addict to quit until the addict is ready on there own terms. you will have to decide where you will stand on the boundaries and what consequences you are ready to follow through with if he breaks the boundaries. tough love is about your only hope in getting him to quit. is he ready to sacrifice his family for his love of the weed? are you prepared to leave him or will you just tolerate his drug use?
