Hi everyone
My boyfriend is an alcoholic, I work with addicts and at this point am very confused. What is the role of the people who live with addicts, love them and try to do all in their power to help them get out of that "dark place?" Should we stay quiet and just observe, should we be always forgiving and pritend there is no problem? Or should we simply leave addicts and go on with our own lives? I have gone to the AA meetings in order to get a grasp on this problem and better understand addicts. My never stoping desire to learn about this disease has brought me to your site.
I would greatly appreciate all advises, answers and thoughts. At this point I feel that I am losing the battle ( which I am not sure whether it is mine) and my strengths are leaving me slowly.
ME
Hi Marite--glad you're here.
It's MY experience that, until someone with addictions is ready to listen, they're not able to hear. Might take in an episode of "Intervention," on Friday on A&E, if you have it. Enablers generally are too close to the problem and tend to facilitate rather than 'help' those of us with addictions. Maybe try an AlAnon meeting, too, because that's generally for people who choose to live with Alcoholics--might give you some better perspective and find some help in the group. Keep coming back and we recovering alcoholics and addicts will TRY to add some perspective, but remember, we see with different eyes than you do--'cause we've been there...
It's MY experience that, until someone with addictions is ready to listen, they're not able to hear. Might take in an episode of "Intervention," on Friday on A&E, if you have it. Enablers generally are too close to the problem and tend to facilitate rather than 'help' those of us with addictions. Maybe try an AlAnon meeting, too, because that's generally for people who choose to live with Alcoholics--might give you some better perspective and find some help in the group. Keep coming back and we recovering alcoholics and addicts will TRY to add some perspective, but remember, we see with different eyes than you do--'cause we've been there...
Hi Marite
Check out Alanon as Skg said.
I grew up in an alcohol fueled family and i tended to try and pacify situations and people please as i was always looking for acknowledgement, then i gave up and joined the alcoholics, what i am babbling about is you have to look after yourself and if you are prepared for a bumpy ride at times in your partners recovery then goe for it, but if the only reason you are staying with him is because you feel oblidged or are scared what he will do if you leave.......then goe.
When i was actively drinking i hoped my partner would leave so i could justify drinking more and when i was sober i loved and hated her, when i was drinking i just didnt give a toss about anyone.
Youre leaving may help your partner get to rock bottom and if it was meant to be then maybe time will tell...whats the saying if you love something set it free.
My Wife still does not understand my addictive thinking and what i could do when drinking and when we are talking to people about active addiction she still gives me the look and says you are one sick puppy mr
Good luck in your decisions and remeber any decisions you make ...make them for all the right reasons and that is you
light and love Zac
Check out Alanon as Skg said.
I grew up in an alcohol fueled family and i tended to try and pacify situations and people please as i was always looking for acknowledgement, then i gave up and joined the alcoholics, what i am babbling about is you have to look after yourself and if you are prepared for a bumpy ride at times in your partners recovery then goe for it, but if the only reason you are staying with him is because you feel oblidged or are scared what he will do if you leave.......then goe.
When i was actively drinking i hoped my partner would leave so i could justify drinking more and when i was sober i loved and hated her, when i was drinking i just didnt give a toss about anyone.
Youre leaving may help your partner get to rock bottom and if it was meant to be then maybe time will tell...whats the saying if you love something set it free.
My Wife still does not understand my addictive thinking and what i could do when drinking and when we are talking to people about active addiction she still gives me the look and says you are one sick puppy mr
Good luck in your decisions and remeber any decisions you make ...make them for all the right reasons and that is you
light and love Zac
