ok here it is in a nutshell. I am a chronic pain patient and I NEED my pain pills to get thru the day. I have accepted the idea of being on them all my life and also accepted being an addict......no problem as long as i feell good and can therefore have a life right??? Enter the problem......i'm obsessive compulsive.....a pig in other words........can never get enough. So to make a long story short I am hogging my oxycontin before my month is up and running out. and I don't have to tell any of you about the SUFFERING. I am doing this to myself and i have to get back on track. I don't want to go off because i need them for pain. And i definitely don't want to get caught/ go public with my problem because that is a huge problem......then i suffer forever more. BTW I am curious as to how many mg's some of you have been up to at a time??????? just wondering how bad i am in comparison............
any suggestions anyone.........I need not to quit my meds........just quit abusing them so I don't keep running out every month........don't know how much longer I can stand going thru withdrawal every month
ps because i care i want to say anyone on neurontin be careful....get off it.....i have seen firsthand it causes severe depression....and i mean severe even when you are on megadose antidepressants which we all are i'm sure........
take care all
Well Mp, my suggestion is this see i to use to have ceonic pain and i was an addict, it sucked so what i did is had someone whom i trust and will not let me sucker them , like my husband give me my days worth and THATS IT!! it is the only way, and i have never been on Oxy's but know people who have been and they were up to 250mgs daily, is that a lot? sounds like it.. i suggest that you go to meetings and trust in someone to HOLD your MEDS!! its the ONLY way..
tell me this if you would how many are you suppose to take a day? and how many are u taking a day?, how fast do you run out? , let me know and i will continue, just wanna make sure you are still here and all..
tell me this if you would how many are you suppose to take a day? and how many are u taking a day?, how fast do you run out? , let me know and i will continue, just wanna make sure you are still here and all..
thanks for the reply. lets try 250 mg at once........not a day......whoooohooooo not good i tell you. need to get it down to just below that for the entire day . Oh and btw your suggestion is exactly what i thought to be my only private way of dealing with this and i made a deal with someone just hours ago to manage my meds......lets hope it works.....i came on here anyhow cuz i need friends and also need to see how people deal with this longterm cuz i know what i am and am stuck with it all my life....just need to learn how to deal with it cuz i want to live and right now i just exist...........
Thats good , step one is done, great job, know believe that it will work and do not try to con this person into giving you more no matter what, this is where you have to tell on yourself, i had to do it and i did!, so can you..
can you answer these questions, whats your daily dosage?, how many are you taking for the entire day?, how eairly are u running out?
also make sure that person will not want any of your pills in return, someone did that s*** to me and it screwed me all up, and then stole some from me and needless to say that really hurt! and that person is no longer in my life, just a warning... let me know if thats ok?
can you answer these questions, whats your daily dosage?, how many are you taking for the entire day?, how eairly are u running out?
also make sure that person will not want any of your pills in return, someone did that s*** to me and it screwed me all up, and then stole some from me and needless to say that really hurt! and that person is no longer in my life, just a warning... let me know if thats ok?
Hi Majorproblemo,
Wanted to tell you hi..... I am the wife of an addict so at this time I am not going to give you advice on how to get your pill intake down. I think maybe you need some love right now instead (Where is Sammy when you need her)......Hope others will come in and talk about the pill issue. Maybe even help you to know if you can function without them....yes some on here do.
I saw what you just wrote in the Christmas thread. I must say that it made me sad.......I don't know how you feel about yourself. But here you will get love, understanding and patience to boot. Wondering do you suffer from depression, or are you just angry with the situation you face every month.......And yes some of us carry around burdens which we need not to....don't know if that applies to you. But you must put your past in the past and go on with the future.....A happy one I hope in which you can live your life in peace with yourself.......
So hang around, read the stories.......get to know those on here.....
Take care,
Tina
Wanted to tell you hi..... I am the wife of an addict so at this time I am not going to give you advice on how to get your pill intake down. I think maybe you need some love right now instead (Where is Sammy when you need her)......Hope others will come in and talk about the pill issue. Maybe even help you to know if you can function without them....yes some on here do.
I saw what you just wrote in the Christmas thread. I must say that it made me sad.......I don't know how you feel about yourself. But here you will get love, understanding and patience to boot. Wondering do you suffer from depression, or are you just angry with the situation you face every month.......And yes some of us carry around burdens which we need not to....don't know if that applies to you. But you must put your past in the past and go on with the future.....A happy one I hope in which you can live your life in peace with yourself.......
So hang around, read the stories.......get to know those on here.....
Take care,
Tina
Major- I agree with Tina- Sounds like you have a major depression going on. Have you talked to anyone?
I hope that i did not sound like i carred because i do, i have been in that same situation and wish that i had someone to talk to so i understand really.. look i am happy that you found yourself this as a support group and someone to help you tahts great!.. dont worry about those questions they dont matter, you matter and i hope that i didnt come off being uncarring because thats no true i really do vare, keep posting and i prey that things will get better for ya!!
yes i have a person i can trust so no problem there. I am the only problem. since you insist I get 5700 mg for my month and it doesn't last a week......you do the math........i'm supposed to take 210 a day which works great.........life was grand and then i had to go screw around with it........why do we(some of us) always have to screw up a good thing....is that just human nature or what ........or just me.....I have always been this way.....whenever a good thing come along I could never get enough until I overdid it........coke, sex, alcohol, crank, reefer,.........but I wore all that off and moved on with my life(ok I lie a little sex would be nice). So I was clean and doing good until I became ill and had to go on pain pills........then my past came to haunt me.......i have always been strong and prevailed in the end.....story of my life.....just seems i have to do everything in a way that makes me suffer.........
Hi Major...I was on vicoden for the same reason...pain..and went through the same thing. It took me many times going through those horrible withdrawls you talk aobut..the insanity became to much, so I had to concede that it was time.
When it comes to anything that appears to give you a buzz, I am off and running..I have no control, pills control me.
I wish you alot of luck. Please remember that in our addiction we do very unsafe things, rationalizing them the whole way. I don't know much about oxy, except I want to stay far away...but that sure does sound like an awful lot.
Kerry
When it comes to anything that appears to give you a buzz, I am off and running..I have no control, pills control me.
I wish you alot of luck. Please remember that in our addiction we do very unsafe things, rationalizing them the whole way. I don't know much about oxy, except I want to stay far away...but that sure does sound like an awful lot.
Kerry
wow it looks like i came to the right place....thank you all so much.....i hope you don't get bored with me as i need this more than anything. if i wasn't so alone all this might not have happened but since my disability i mysteriously lost all my friends and family............isn't that just ducky. So anyhow I was doing fine until one day i was bored and decided.......hmmmmmmmm........wonder what it's like to get loaded off these things......well now i know......and yes kerry I take what I think should be enough to knock an elephant on his a**......but i'm still here and it doesn't even scare me to do it. I am in the real world though and intelligent and i know this cannot continue........i have to prevail........and like kerry admits I'm a sucker for anything..........well anything good.......that will mess me up.........cant help myself...........i did fine when it wasn't around........but now it's handed to me on a silver platter......i need to learn to be responsilble with it rather than play.........then suffer........play.......then suffer.......
oh and yes I take 450 mg of wellbutrin...... sorry i sounded so down on the christmas post.....didn't mean to ruin anyones day....just the truth and it was only yesterday it happened so it was fresh on my mind.
oh and yes I take 450 mg of wellbutrin...... sorry i sounded so down on the christmas post.....didn't mean to ruin anyones day....just the truth and it was only yesterday it happened so it was fresh on my mind.
Hello again, it has nothing to do with will power, its the addict mind thats why we all need one another we can not control ourselves we are addicts with a disease of addiction and our lives had or have become unmanageable(sp)? and so thats when we seek help.. please know that your a good person but this damm disease is trying to kill us, i should of dyed many, many times ago, but by the grace of god i am still here thankfully...
have you ever been to a meeting perhaps?, thats what keeps me going, maybe it will help you?, everyone is diffrent but it does not hurt to try....
i hope things get better and we are all here for you as you can see and please keep posting! we need you here.... thanks...... mitzy
have you ever been to a meeting perhaps?, thats what keeps me going, maybe it will help you?, everyone is diffrent but it does not hurt to try....
i hope things get better and we are all here for you as you can see and please keep posting! we need you here.... thanks...... mitzy
dear major the ONLY way I can make it through the month is if I have my boyfriend hold them.I often lose track of how many I've taken and I know that is so dangerous.Do you have anyone you can trust to hold them?Maybe if you do you could start a slow tapering.Also is there a pain managment center near you where you can get different ideas to manage your pain without more pills...mj
Well I am really glad to hear that you are taking Wellbutrin.......sorry that yesterday wasn't a great day, we can all relate to the bad ones. I hope that you can find away to not over indulge yourself......sounds like you picked up just about everything and used or should I say abused it to its max. You need alittle balance in your life don't you think.....
Sorry not to be to personal, but why did everyone in your life ditch you, so to speak or did you drive them away when you got sick.......Please don't be upset by the question I have this need to know at times.....I will answer also if there is something you want to know, just to be fair.....
I shall return, in a few.......hope you answer
Tina
Sorry not to be to personal, but why did everyone in your life ditch you, so to speak or did you drive them away when you got sick.......Please don't be upset by the question I have this need to know at times.....I will answer also if there is something you want to know, just to be fair.....
I shall return, in a few.......hope you answer
Tina
HI Molly, how are you today?, where have you been?, email me and lets chat, gotta go noe, talk to ya soon, mm
Tina......Ouch ....that hurt. Nothing like a reminder that i have noone in my life. I really don't know what i did........i just became ill and there was noone there......guess i had the wrong friends and my family is just too busy to be bothered(most of them). I will tell you this and maybe it will make more sense. I used to live in bars thus bar people were what i knew. When i became il and quit the booze I guess they quit me. I'm ok, strong as you will ever meet, just lonely and wanking about it at the moment. You will find I am kind and good to others, just not myself which is why i ended up here. I'll tell you what. Actually this is mostly my own doing probably because I am the kind of person that finds my strenght in myself.....always have......you've read what i have overcome.......most everything.....alone.....every time. So I guess I ditched my barroom buddies and went into hiding to care for myself. They sure haven't tried real hard to seak me out i'll tell you......lol......live and learn eh? So problem is the recluse that i have become I have not gotten out to meet new people to replace the bad ones........not bad people........just people that live in the bar and that's not what i want my life to be anymore so I have no choice for my own well being............so I have an idea........will you be my friend???
major, even if you are using enough oxy to kill an elephant, have you tried AA or NA? I have gone there and found that the reason they call this a disease is that we have that part of our brains that we just can't take mind altering substances without abusing them..and we all have the compulsion to do so anyway..
You just might hear the right things there. I hated to walk in there admitting that I had to go there, I can do anything myself, don't ya know..but I really needed to be there..just to listen and learn ways to NOT get loaded.
And Tina is cool...she is just trying to understand you better...
Kerry
You just might hear the right things there. I hated to walk in there admitting that I had to go there, I can do anything myself, don't ya know..but I really needed to be there..just to listen and learn ways to NOT get loaded.
And Tina is cool...she is just trying to understand you better...
Kerry
Yes I will be your friend and I am so sorry if I hurt you....I know alittle about friends from the bar scene......When my husband stopped drinking ( he only drank when we went out never at home anymore we didn't go out often with a baby at home) a few years ago friends of ours that we always went out with and hung around at home with slowly drifted away...I would have thought that the friendship part would have been stong enough to survive without the drinking......By the way the whole time I didn't drink, and we all always seemed to have a good time......My husband and I were just talking of this....because it seemed so weird.
I am glad that you find strength in yourself.......I have a lot of that going on. I think too that you will find that you make lots of friends on here. It is truely a great place for those addicted as well as those not. So welcome.....I hope one day some of us will be your extended family......
Tina
I am glad that you find strength in yourself.......I have a lot of that going on. I think too that you will find that you make lots of friends on here. It is truely a great place for those addicted as well as those not. So welcome.....I hope one day some of us will be your extended family......
Tina
Hi Major,
Your first post seemed to be asking for ways to control your opiate use. Well, if you've been addicted in the past to crank, alcohol, or whatever, I think you probably know the answer. Not possible. Tolerance builds, mental obsession builds, you know the deal. If you're truly a chronic pain patient, the only thing that I've heard works is longterm methodone treatment. Some people say Bup works also since it has some pain management properties. Good luck to you, M.
Your first post seemed to be asking for ways to control your opiate use. Well, if you've been addicted in the past to crank, alcohol, or whatever, I think you probably know the answer. Not possible. Tolerance builds, mental obsession builds, you know the deal. If you're truly a chronic pain patient, the only thing that I've heard works is longterm methodone treatment. Some people say Bup works also since it has some pain management properties. Good luck to you, M.
Thanks none.....you gave me a big DUH....how stupid of me, my hubby is taking it.....LOL
Majorproblemo....I am putting in some links for you so you can read about bup......One link is a message board totally about it with lots of peoples experiences......
Enjoy the reading!
http://www.fda.gov/cder/foi/label/2...2/20732lppi.pdf
http://www.medletter.com/freedocs/b...prenorphine.pdf
http://www.heroin-detox.com/forum.a....asp?FORUM_ID=4
Can't find the doctor locator.......when I do I will post that too.......
Tina
Found it.......http://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/
Majorproblemo....I am putting in some links for you so you can read about bup......One link is a message board totally about it with lots of peoples experiences......
Enjoy the reading!
http://www.fda.gov/cder/foi/label/2...2/20732lppi.pdf
http://www.medletter.com/freedocs/b...prenorphine.pdf
http://www.heroin-detox.com/forum.a....asp?FORUM_ID=4
Can't find the doctor locator.......when I do I will post that too.......
Tina
Found it.......http://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/
none4me........you make a strong argument.....and i could easily give in and say you are right.......but instead i say don't tell me not possible.......that just can't be.......difficult yes.......impossible is not a word you should be using around here....nobody needs to hear that.....and i am not mad either.......not at all.....just talking.......and methadone god I hope I don't have to go there as i feel that truly is the end of the line I gotta send this and write more.........
