Hi i havnt been on in a few weeks been sorting out my wedding plans, well to cut a long story short, my BROTHER was doin heroin which recently i found out, well he was/is doing well, and seems to be doing great i think. hes taking his subbies so he says and says he hasnt relapsed.
Some days i think he looks high but to be honest cant really tell anymore, or a case of i cant really be bothered talking with him, he is still hanging round with known addicts which i think is wrong but who am i to say anything, only get a gob full from him.
The big question is how do u trust someone when the trust is totally destroyed, even when he is teliing the truth i doubt him, and constantly think hes up to no good, does anyone have the same issues as i would love to hear from you.
Yes. I have the issue with my daughter. It is something I need to work on but it is something I have explained to her that she needs to learn to accept. A few months does not wipe out the past.
Much of the trust issue on our part relates to fear that our loved one will relapse. The trust isn't just given back it is earned back. We have to work on allowing that trust to be earned and our loved ones need to work on earning it.
The resentments come becaue our loved one wants to just start with a clean slate. We are not ready to do that due to past harms. It is a slow process that both sides need to work on.
Calabash has some good posts on this maybe he will pop over from the cocaine board and respond.
Here is a link that might help some. http://addictionrecoveryguide.com/m...0&hl=earn+trust
Much of the trust issue on our part relates to fear that our loved one will relapse. The trust isn't just given back it is earned back. We have to work on allowing that trust to be earned and our loved ones need to work on earning it.
The resentments come becaue our loved one wants to just start with a clean slate. We are not ready to do that due to past harms. It is a slow process that both sides need to work on.
Calabash has some good posts on this maybe he will pop over from the cocaine board and respond.
Here is a link that might help some. http://addictionrecoveryguide.com/m...0&hl=earn+trust
Hey Shell.......how ya doing......hadn't you went to the store and your bro was in there and the dealer outside?
Trust your instincts.......WATCH WHAT HE DOES/NOT WHAT HE SAYS!
That works every time.......agree with HD in that yeah we just can't expect for the people we've lied to trust us immediately.......that's for sure.
Just keep watching.
Trust your instincts.......WATCH WHAT HE DOES/NOT WHAT HE SAYS!
That works every time.......agree with HD in that yeah we just can't expect for the people we've lied to trust us immediately.......that's for sure.
Just keep watching.
Thanks to both of you, i totally understand what ur saying hd and i totally agree but i cant seem to keep my mouth shut with him, i will be honest and straight forward and ask him have u bloody relapsed, he had a go at me and said he hates me knowing as he feels i have power over him which is total and utter bull crap, but thats his way of trying to put my on a guilt trip wish wont wash.
Bryn im going by my instincts and i do kinda know hes still using, he trys to deny it, but i feel in my heart hes just taking the pi** out of everyone, and not in control over anything anymore. i saw a red raised mark on the fatty bit of his hand near the thumb, i quizzed im over it and he said it was a burst vessel, im not a fool, i saw that mark there a while back too but it went away after a week or so, he has had 2 chances with me, i cant keep trying to help him when quite obviously he wont help himself, think its time to wash my hands.
Bryn im going by my instincts and i do kinda know hes still using, he trys to deny it, but i feel in my heart hes just taking the pi** out of everyone, and not in control over anything anymore. i saw a red raised mark on the fatty bit of his hand near the thumb, i quizzed im over it and he said it was a burst vessel, im not a fool, i saw that mark there a while back too but it went away after a week or so, he has had 2 chances with me, i cant keep trying to help him when quite obviously he wont help himself, think its time to wash my hands.
