how important is it to seek recovery after you have done your withdrawl?????is recovery done on an out patient basis????my thoughts are it is important to find out why?????what are you running from????do they teach you some tools to deal/cope with everyday life? kids,job,stress etc.....does anybody know of any great recovery in the vancouver,canada area.
Excellent Question..................
Drugs/alcohol are only a symtom of the disease.You remove the drugs,alcohol________________[fill in the blank] and you're left with this hollow shell.You really have 3 choices.
You can white knuckle it.
You can apply a program of Recovery.
or..........you can start using again
I know a couple of people who put down the drugs and alcohol and did nothing.They are clean,sober and miserable.One of the guys is an aquaintance and as much as I love him,I can't be around him for more than 30 minutes.He's been sober for over 10 years.He is the most negative,bitter human being I've met.
This is a disease of the mind,body and soul.Detox only addresses the body.Nothing has changed.Unless you start working on the intrinsic problem which is you and your f*cked up thinking,the same problems will always present themselves.
AA,NA,private therapy,church for some,or something that gives you the opportunity to start looking at yourself and allow you to start healing.
I don't know a number for Vancouver but I do have the World Service Office for Canada.....905507-0100
This is Narcotics Anonymous.
AA usually has more listings.
Drugs/alcohol are only a symtom of the disease.You remove the drugs,alcohol________________[fill in the blank] and you're left with this hollow shell.You really have 3 choices.
You can white knuckle it.
You can apply a program of Recovery.
or..........you can start using again
I know a couple of people who put down the drugs and alcohol and did nothing.They are clean,sober and miserable.One of the guys is an aquaintance and as much as I love him,I can't be around him for more than 30 minutes.He's been sober for over 10 years.He is the most negative,bitter human being I've met.
This is a disease of the mind,body and soul.Detox only addresses the body.Nothing has changed.Unless you start working on the intrinsic problem which is you and your f*cked up thinking,the same problems will always present themselves.
AA,NA,private therapy,church for some,or something that gives you the opportunity to start looking at yourself and allow you to start healing.
I don't know a number for Vancouver but I do have the World Service Office for Canada.....905507-0100
This is Narcotics Anonymous.
AA usually has more listings.
thanks tim, i will pass on the info.
AA and NA create a community of people who understand what you're going through in day to day life. What could be better than surrounding yourself with people that can actually help you and give support?
I know people who also quit using without the help of any program and yes, they are misreable as well. They are angry that they don't get to drink or use. The difference for me is that I'm happy that I don't get to do that stuff anymore.
I know people who also quit using without the help of any program and yes, they are misreable as well. They are angry that they don't get to drink or use. The difference for me is that I'm happy that I don't get to do that stuff anymore.
That's what I hate so much about this supposed "disease" they call "addiction".
The statistics are so grim. I tend to want a scientific and physiologic answer to everything pertaining to addiction. Yet I read that, statistically, my chances are very low. Even participating in a program of some sort, I still have little chance to lead a happy and productive life. Without rehab and a program, I'm almost 100 percent doomed.
I know most here will say "Hey...look at me. I'm doing it. I'm leading a happy life without drugs. It can be done." Sure it can. But out of the millions of people in the United States alone that are addicts, how many are on here or any forum like this that have been successful?
I'm not trying to discourage anyone from giving it their all. The miracle can happen. It did for me for a little while, many years ago. I have no doubt it can happen again. I just have very little faith in anything right now. Not in life. Not in a program. Not in rehab. Not much faith in God even.
So, you see? This is a disease of the soul. It really is. If it were more simple than that then more people would be in recovery and stay in recovery.
This disease (and I can only speak for myself) is deep within my soul...within my very being as a human. It is WHO I am. And I hate it. I hate myself because of and possibly in spite of it.
If I have been reading posts right, then you are the sister of a recovering addict.
If that is the case, then I can only tell you what I would want from my sister if she was willing to put herself in your position.
I would want to know that she loves me no matter what...even if she is not willing to enable me.
I would want to hear from her all of the good memories that she thinks about when we were growing up.
I would want to know that she will listen to me without judging me or my past behaviors.
I would want to believe that she is trying to learn everything she can about this disease even though she has never been through it herself.
I would want to hear that she has faith in me, in my strengths, in my talents, in my abilities...even though I have lost all faith in myself.
I would want to know that, even when I can't look at myself in the mirror, that when she looks at me, she still sees that innocent, beautiful, loving, caring and kind soul that I was when I was a little girl.
I believe that love can do amazing things. I know it can't solve all of the world's problems. But I believe that love can work wonders...even when all hope is lost.
I wish you and your sister well. She is just as lucky to have you as you are to have her.
The statistics are so grim. I tend to want a scientific and physiologic answer to everything pertaining to addiction. Yet I read that, statistically, my chances are very low. Even participating in a program of some sort, I still have little chance to lead a happy and productive life. Without rehab and a program, I'm almost 100 percent doomed.
I know most here will say "Hey...look at me. I'm doing it. I'm leading a happy life without drugs. It can be done." Sure it can. But out of the millions of people in the United States alone that are addicts, how many are on here or any forum like this that have been successful?
I'm not trying to discourage anyone from giving it their all. The miracle can happen. It did for me for a little while, many years ago. I have no doubt it can happen again. I just have very little faith in anything right now. Not in life. Not in a program. Not in rehab. Not much faith in God even.
So, you see? This is a disease of the soul. It really is. If it were more simple than that then more people would be in recovery and stay in recovery.
This disease (and I can only speak for myself) is deep within my soul...within my very being as a human. It is WHO I am. And I hate it. I hate myself because of and possibly in spite of it.
If I have been reading posts right, then you are the sister of a recovering addict.
If that is the case, then I can only tell you what I would want from my sister if she was willing to put herself in your position.
I would want to know that she loves me no matter what...even if she is not willing to enable me.
I would want to hear from her all of the good memories that she thinks about when we were growing up.
I would want to know that she will listen to me without judging me or my past behaviors.
I would want to believe that she is trying to learn everything she can about this disease even though she has never been through it herself.
I would want to hear that she has faith in me, in my strengths, in my talents, in my abilities...even though I have lost all faith in myself.
I would want to know that, even when I can't look at myself in the mirror, that when she looks at me, she still sees that innocent, beautiful, loving, caring and kind soul that I was when I was a little girl.
I believe that love can do amazing things. I know it can't solve all of the world's problems. But I believe that love can work wonders...even when all hope is lost.
I wish you and your sister well. She is just as lucky to have you as you are to have her.
I wonder where I would have been, if as a baby, I didn't take hold tightly to my mother's hands and learn to stand. I wonder where I would have been, if as a baby, I didn't take those hands and venture out to put one foot in front of the other and attempt my first steps. I wonder where I would have been, if I did not leave my home and attend my first day of school. I wonder where I would have been, if I had closed my heart and not learn the Power of love.
Whatever obstacle I may perceive, whether it be job change, relationships, facing the news of major illness (including addiction), family challenges, etc., without change, something sleeps inside me, and seldom awakens. It was a good day when I realized the sleeper must awaken, because without the desire to change, I remain stagnant.
Thank you, God, for the hands that were held out to me to grasp and learn to embrace change. Change is one of those few constants in life that I've come to learn to embrace easily and without fear.
Namaste' ~
Sammy
Whatever obstacle I may perceive, whether it be job change, relationships, facing the news of major illness (including addiction), family challenges, etc., without change, something sleeps inside me, and seldom awakens. It was a good day when I realized the sleeper must awaken, because without the desire to change, I remain stagnant.
Thank you, God, for the hands that were held out to me to grasp and learn to embrace change. Change is one of those few constants in life that I've come to learn to embrace easily and without fear.
Namaste' ~
Sammy
thanks for sharing all of you. yes i am the sister. she does have a very strong supportive family.but we are also very emotionally involved. it breaks my heart that she has gone down this road, because she was strong,reliable,fun,etc...all the things a sister should be she was. and for the last 2.6 mths she had became very anti-social,self absorbed, unreliable ,it was almost as if she was in a bubble in her own little world, and always really busy......i knew something was up with her(not sure what) but i was a little suspicious.She came to me 11 days ago and told me what was going on. anyways, we are very close and i know this isnt a quick fix. she has alot of work and soul searching to do and she knows i will always be here, whether its to laugh,cry, hang out,vent,talk. but i will never enable her with the dependency of pills.She also wants this and before she told any of us(family) she had planned on trying to stop. this problem was way to big for 1 person.So while she soul searches and learns tools to help with her everyday, i know i need to be here even if its just to listen.She has not used pills for 11 days.her head is clearing out and she had her eyebrows threaded.(1st time with not using pills) and she said"holy #@!# that hurts. so she is even feeling again. Sister if your on here just checking things out I just want you to know i love you so much!!!!!!!!!!!
Jodi
It's your choice to be a statistic.
I think you can use that data as an excuse to keep drinking?
That behavior is not unique.I was always looking for reasons not to stop.I found plenty.
Science and technology will always keep coming up with cures.The Addiction industry is very profitable.Maybe some of these will be resourceful tools but unless they can take your brain out and give you a new one..........there is no cure.
The problem has never been substances.It's why you choose to shut down you're feelings and anesthesize your body with mind numbing chemicals.
Only a complete overhaul of a psychic and spiritual nature will address this.How you choose to get there is subjective.
QUOTE |
The statistics are so grim. I tend to want a scientific and physiologic answer to everything pertaining to addiction. Yet I read that, statistically, my chances are very low |
It's your choice to be a statistic.
I think you can use that data as an excuse to keep drinking?
That behavior is not unique.I was always looking for reasons not to stop.I found plenty.
Science and technology will always keep coming up with cures.The Addiction industry is very profitable.Maybe some of these will be resourceful tools but unless they can take your brain out and give you a new one..........there is no cure.
The problem has never been substances.It's why you choose to shut down you're feelings and anesthesize your body with mind numbing chemicals.
Only a complete overhaul of a psychic and spiritual nature will address this.How you choose to get there is subjective.
QUOTE |
The problem has never been substances.It's why you choose to shut down you're feelings and anesthesize your body with mind numbing chemicals. |
well said tim, i like that description you posted about addiction, so true everyone.
eyebrow threading hurts like a sob...! waxing mine is the only way to go for me!
i wish that my sister could read what you posted about how you are there for her. unfortunately my sister doesnt support me at all, she wants me to continue in co dependant behavior to "fix" our parents. alot of history of dysfunction in our family and other "stressors" in my life were occuring. i am the only one who chose to step out of the situation because the pain was so unbearable i chose to anesthesize my emotions just like tim posted. it led to first a marijuana addiction for 30 yrs and when an opiate was used for pain control from a tooth extraction....thats all she wrote! opiates brought me to a darkness that was so bad i checked into a rehab twice and after all avenues were exhausted, i found out about suboxone from this forum and today i have almost 16 mos clean!!!!!
i am so happy with the progress i am making, i wish my sister could see my progress and be happy for me as well as the rest of my family, but they choose to stay in darkness and they dont like the light that is in me, Jesus Christ is the light of the world and in Him there is no darkness...... that is my philosophy, my experience, my strength and my hope.
jodi girl i like what you posted about being a sister, as a matter of fact, maybe i should just print that out and send it in my estranged sisters Christmas card??
see, jodi, you have helped me this morning concerning my sisters and my estrangement, you have it in you to do it, sammy's post about love... so true, click on her links about love, i found myself going to other links from that original link she has in her signature line and i was intrigued by diana drall, a pianist/jazz singer, which then led me to burt bacharach, then on to dionne warwick....dionne was a favorite of my dads and i grew up listening to her songs that my dad played on those good old 33 albums!! do you know the way to san jose???? walk on by...whats it all about?...alfie!
thanks for yor posts about love sammy, we truly have some wonderful people i have had the pleasure to cyber-meet! God bless to all...~jewels~
The problem has never been substances.It's why you choose to shut down you're feelings and anesthesize your body with mind numbing chemicals.
tim, i copied and pasted from your page. this is a great quote!!!!!!!!!!
alot of the advice ive heard really makes you think.this is a very tough disease. for all of you that have it beat congrats and for the rest of you keep trying
thanks so much, without sites like this and people like yourselves willing to share................
tim, i copied and pasted from your page. this is a great quote!!!!!!!!!!
alot of the advice ive heard really makes you think.this is a very tough disease. for all of you that have it beat congrats and for the rest of you keep trying
thanks so much, without sites like this and people like yourselves willing to share................
Jodi........very good post. I'm going to print it and change sis to hubby and have my hubby read it. I can never express myself to him in a way that he can understand w/o getting pi$$y. Thanks..
How are you doing?
How are you doing?
QUOTE |
I know most here will say "Hey...look at me. I'm doing it. I'm leading a happy life without drugs. It can be done." Sure it can. But out of the millions of people in the United States alone that are addicts, how many are on here or any forum like this that have been successful? |
I used to ask "why me?" now I ask "why not me?"...I am a success and every night that I go to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous (which is usually 5 nights out of 7) I am surrounded and loved by people that are success and miracles too....I no longer have to worry about failing as by living one day at a time without having a drink or a drug, I am a success and anyone else that is willing to go to any length to get sober can be a success too....It's not difficult nor does it have to be complicated with statistics, actually it's quite simple....
Happiness is not in the bottom of a pill bottle. It's inside you.(another very good quote)i believe happiness comes within and if your not happy inside then you need to find out why????You owe it to yourself,your children,etc..maybe it could be something as simple as learning a new tool or as deep as you have ignored it.however you got here, needs to be addressed and you can only go up from here. as long as you stay off pills.life is so worth living and your children are so worth fighting for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think Stacey's post shows that success is obtainable, but you've got to be Honest, open, and willing to do the work. I don't know anything about the statistics, etc., but there are miilions who are successful especially with the help of AA/NA.
I believe in the power of prayer and f2f support. It's the support of my hubby that I'm really needing right now. That's why I liked the part of Jodi's post where she made the list for the sister. I wrote it down and changed sis to hubby.
I believe in the power of prayer and f2f support. It's the support of my hubby that I'm really needing right now. That's why I liked the part of Jodi's post where she made the list for the sister. I wrote it down and changed sis to hubby.
Thank you Everyone!
This is one of the best threads I've seen in some time! warm regards,a
This is one of the best threads I've seen in some time! warm regards,a
Jodi,
I got through part of your post and stopped.
One sentence rang out to me and the rest I couldn't concentrate on.
NO, this disease is NOT who you are. That is utter, total nonsense and you need to get that out of your head.
You are an intelligent, articulate and unique woman. You are worthy of love, friendship and compassion.
I understand what you feel and why, as only someone who's walked in your shoes can but I can't in good conscience allow you to let that comment slide.
You are much, much more than a disease and I believe that in your heart, you know this.
I don't listen to statistics. I'm not even sure how they determine these numbers. No one has ever taken a poll that I was a part of.
Before recovery, I prayed for God to take away my addiction. He didn't. It was a very dark place to be. If I couldn't do it and God wouldn't remove it, what hope was there?
God didn't remove my addiction but he didn't leave me in the dark either. He lead me to angels who would guide my path, ones that had walked in the same one as I and had found the way to the other side.If He had removed my addiction I would be of no service to others who needed assistance finding their way. That was a selfish request on my part, I just didn't know it when I asked.
Find your angels, Jodi, whoever they may be.
xxxxxoooooo
I got through part of your post and stopped.
One sentence rang out to me and the rest I couldn't concentrate on.
NO, this disease is NOT who you are. That is utter, total nonsense and you need to get that out of your head.
You are an intelligent, articulate and unique woman. You are worthy of love, friendship and compassion.
I understand what you feel and why, as only someone who's walked in your shoes can but I can't in good conscience allow you to let that comment slide.
You are much, much more than a disease and I believe that in your heart, you know this.
I don't listen to statistics. I'm not even sure how they determine these numbers. No one has ever taken a poll that I was a part of.
Before recovery, I prayed for God to take away my addiction. He didn't. It was a very dark place to be. If I couldn't do it and God wouldn't remove it, what hope was there?
God didn't remove my addiction but he didn't leave me in the dark either. He lead me to angels who would guide my path, ones that had walked in the same one as I and had found the way to the other side.If He had removed my addiction I would be of no service to others who needed assistance finding their way. That was a selfish request on my part, I just didn't know it when I asked.
Find your angels, Jodi, whoever they may be.
xxxxxoooooo
QUOTE |
Before recovery, I prayed for God to take away my addiction. He didn't. It was a very dark place to be. If I couldn't do it and God wouldn't remove it, what hope was there? God didn't remove my addiction but he didn't leave me in the dark either. He lead me to angels who would guide my path, ones that had walked in the same one as I and had found the way to the other side.If He had removed my addiction I would be of no service to others who needed assistance finding their way. That was a selfish request on my part, I just didn't know it when I asked. Find your angels, Jodi, whoever they may be. |
Kat..............I could have written that myself. I did and thought the exact thing. Now every night in my prayers I thank God for guiding me to this board where I discovered that I wasn't alone, that I couldn't do it alone, & that recovery was possible for even ME. I found my angels here and they directed me in the direction that I needed to go next..........My Treatment Center.....My lifesaver!
Oh, Kat...but this is me. It consumes me and encompasses me to the point where my use is all I can think about. I can't picture me any other way. I don't like it. But it is me. It's what I have known for years. It's all I've ever known.
I'm not happy as a drunk/addict. I'm not happy sober either.
What the hell do ya do?
SANTANA LYRICS
"Just Feel Better"
(feat. Steven Tyler)
She said I feel stranded
And I can't tell anymore
If I'm coming or I'm going
It's not how I planned it
I've got a key to the door
But it just won't open
And I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
I don't, I don't, I don't
Because it never worked before
But this time, this time
I'm gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better
And I can't find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better
She said I need you to hold me
I'm a little far from the shore
And I'm afraid of sinking
You're the only one who knows me
And who doesn't ignore
That my soul is weeping
I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
Everything must have a season
Round and round it goes
And every day's the one before
But this time, this time
I'm gonna try anything that just feels better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better
I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I'd do anything to just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better
I'm tired of holding on
To all the things I ought to leave behind, yeah
It's really getting old, and
I think I need a little help this time!
Yeah
[Guitar solo]
I'm gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better
And I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better
I'm not happy as a drunk/addict. I'm not happy sober either.
What the hell do ya do?
SANTANA LYRICS
"Just Feel Better"
(feat. Steven Tyler)
She said I feel stranded
And I can't tell anymore
If I'm coming or I'm going
It's not how I planned it
I've got a key to the door
But it just won't open
And I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
I don't, I don't, I don't
Because it never worked before
But this time, this time
I'm gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better
And I can't find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better
She said I need you to hold me
I'm a little far from the shore
And I'm afraid of sinking
You're the only one who knows me
And who doesn't ignore
That my soul is weeping
I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
Everything must have a season
Round and round it goes
And every day's the one before
But this time, this time
I'm gonna try anything that just feels better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better
I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I'd do anything to just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better
I'm tired of holding on
To all the things I ought to leave behind, yeah
It's really getting old, and
I think I need a little help this time!
Yeah
[Guitar solo]
I'm gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better
And I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better
Oh Jodi, how you bring me back there. I could have written that first paragraph. I am you...a different stage, but you. I was as obsessed as they come. I fought and fought and didn't really want to fight at all because it was my comfort, my mate, and it was MINE damn it, lol. I wanted to escape and escape it was.
Except there's just something wrong with the need to escape from life.
Not happy when you're clean? Or not happy when you've run out? Big difference. Are you unhappy when you have just a little time under your belt and involved in the program?
We stop knowing true happiness when using. We think we're feeling but we aren't really. Yes, of course we love and care and nuture to the best of our ability but how can you fully love another when your main love is your doc?It gets us up in the morning and knocks us out at night. Sometimes there is unpleasantness in between and then we need more because we are upset.
I hear you, Jodi. I've always heard you because I am you. So now would you catch up, please?
xxxxxxooooo
Except there's just something wrong with the need to escape from life.
Not happy when you're clean? Or not happy when you've run out? Big difference. Are you unhappy when you have just a little time under your belt and involved in the program?
We stop knowing true happiness when using. We think we're feeling but we aren't really. Yes, of course we love and care and nuture to the best of our ability but how can you fully love another when your main love is your doc?It gets us up in the morning and knocks us out at night. Sometimes there is unpleasantness in between and then we need more because we are upset.
I hear you, Jodi. I've always heard you because I am you. So now would you catch up, please?
xxxxxxooooo
Jodi girl...how do you know that you aren't happy as a clean and sober person? When's the last time you had any substainal clean time under your belt to find out?
xxxooo
Loved your post Stacey..as usual.
xxxooo
Loved your post Stacey..as usual.