last post brings me to my next question. My sister has been saying she thinks she needs anti-depressants????????How does she know she is even depressed b/c she has been filling her body,mind,and soul with this junk. She has been clouding her mind,which these pills may start to feel like a happy pill(in the beginning)but they actually give you more anziety,depression etc..within 2.5 mths of her chewing oxys. the physical change was drastic, her appearance, the weight was falln off her(shes small anyways)
have any of you went the route of anti-deppressants? has it helped?or is it a pschological thing where any pill going into your mouth will do??????/sorry if that sounds a little rude. but i really dont get get. i am willing to learn all about this disease so i can support my sister, but i havnt walked in these shoes before.
I tend to agree with you about the ad's.
It's hard to know if you're depressed or not until your system has had time to really clean up. I know of many who've needed ad's after getting clean but I personally didn't. It was the drugs themselves that caused depression. I'm really not prone to it at all.
How long has she been clean now?
xxxooo
It's hard to know if you're depressed or not until your system has had time to really clean up. I know of many who've needed ad's after getting clean but I personally didn't. It was the drugs themselves that caused depression. I'm really not prone to it at all.
How long has she been clean now?
xxxooo
You're right Lisa. It's been awhile since I've had any significant clean time.
As we speak, God is doing for me what I haven't been able to do for myself.
My supply is cut off. Unfortunately, a family member is very ill. That is the reason. I feel terrible about it.
The worst part is that I knew this was coming. But I still chose to get jacked up on fentanyl patches for the last week or so.
So now I will be going through even worse withdrawals...again.
I'm not as resourceful as some addicts. I don't know where to get more.
Of course, the booze is a different story.
I just can't see an end in sight. Not a good end, anyways.
My husband asked what I will do when I can't get more pills. I told him (honestly) that I will probably just drink more.
I've used up every last resource, including stealing the fentanyl patches. That one blew my mind...that I could do that. The guilt sucks.
I'm done, I guess.
I don't know what to do anymore.
As we speak, God is doing for me what I haven't been able to do for myself.
My supply is cut off. Unfortunately, a family member is very ill. That is the reason. I feel terrible about it.
The worst part is that I knew this was coming. But I still chose to get jacked up on fentanyl patches for the last week or so.
So now I will be going through even worse withdrawals...again.
I'm not as resourceful as some addicts. I don't know where to get more.
Of course, the booze is a different story.
I just can't see an end in sight. Not a good end, anyways.
My husband asked what I will do when I can't get more pills. I told him (honestly) that I will probably just drink more.
I've used up every last resource, including stealing the fentanyl patches. That one blew my mind...that I could do that. The guilt sucks.
I'm done, I guess.
I don't know what to do anymore.
Can I make a suggestion, Jodi?
Don't fight this. Okay, your source is gone. Just accept that as fact and don't make yourself crazy trying to think of another way. It sounds just like you said.
God did for you what you couldn't do for yourself. Cool.
How about a promise? That you won't drink anymore than you have been already. Maybe after you feel a little more stable you could start cutting down with the alcohol so it will be a more gentle process.
This could be a brand new chance for you! Don't feel down about it, let some hope creep in!
I've heard those patches are rough to come off of. Are they?
xxxxxxooooo
Don't fight this. Okay, your source is gone. Just accept that as fact and don't make yourself crazy trying to think of another way. It sounds just like you said.
God did for you what you couldn't do for yourself. Cool.
How about a promise? That you won't drink anymore than you have been already. Maybe after you feel a little more stable you could start cutting down with the alcohol so it will be a more gentle process.
This could be a brand new chance for you! Don't feel down about it, let some hope creep in!
I've heard those patches are rough to come off of. Are they?
xxxxxxooooo
I got hooked on those patches the time before last when I quit pills. They made me sick as a dog. Sicker!! I threw up violently for about 36 hours on top of all the regular wd's you have with opiates. I literally thought i was going to die. That is some potenent (sp) stuff. I never got back on them, but I did get back on pills then I came here & got off pills again. (For the last time!!)
Don't fight it? That's survival instinct, Kat! lol
It's what I do best.
Fighting is why I'm still alive today.
And, yes, they are a b**** to come off of. Worse than morphine, if you ask me.
Doesn't matter. I f***ed up. I have no hope right now. I will eventually.
Not right now, though.
It's what I do best.
Fighting is why I'm still alive today.
And, yes, they are a b**** to come off of. Worse than morphine, if you ask me.
Doesn't matter. I f***ed up. I have no hope right now. I will eventually.
Not right now, though.
And if I'm going to be totally honest, I had 8 patches to start with. Thank god only 25 mcg. The weakest ones there are.
I've went thru 5 in a week or so. I still have 3 left. I am intending to hold onto those 3 because I think (in my sick mind) that maybe that would be enough to kill me if I choose.
Now, I don't want that. But I want to know I have the option. If that makes sense.
Knowing me and how I work, I won't have those 3 much longer. I only intended to use one in the first place.
By the way, my frame of mind has so much to do with the fact that we are 48 hours into the silent treatment at my house.
It sucks.
I've only got about 15 Tylenol 3s to bring myself down on.
That tapering s*** never works either.
I'm screwed...any way you look at it.
I've went thru 5 in a week or so. I still have 3 left. I am intending to hold onto those 3 because I think (in my sick mind) that maybe that would be enough to kill me if I choose.
Now, I don't want that. But I want to know I have the option. If that makes sense.
Knowing me and how I work, I won't have those 3 much longer. I only intended to use one in the first place.
By the way, my frame of mind has so much to do with the fact that we are 48 hours into the silent treatment at my house.
It sucks.
I've only got about 15 Tylenol 3s to bring myself down on.
That tapering s*** never works either.
I'm screwed...any way you look at it.
LOL, see? You still have your sense of humor.
Okay, not right now will work, but soon. Soon you will have hope and until you do, I'll have it for you.
I've always been truthful when I told you I had faith in you, Jodi. I'm not a bad guess either about who's got that little something that it takes to make it. Whatever that little something is, you've got it and I can feel it.
I know you can't just yet but believe in me a little, okay? Believe that maybe this online friend you have just might know something you haven't figured out yet.
I'll be here to celebrate your day one and your one year. It's going to happen, Jodi.
xxxxxoooooo
Okay, not right now will work, but soon. Soon you will have hope and until you do, I'll have it for you.
I've always been truthful when I told you I had faith in you, Jodi. I'm not a bad guess either about who's got that little something that it takes to make it. Whatever that little something is, you've got it and I can feel it.
I know you can't just yet but believe in me a little, okay? Believe that maybe this online friend you have just might know something you haven't figured out yet.
I'll be here to celebrate your day one and your one year. It's going to happen, Jodi.
xxxxxoooooo
So I'm finding one of my angels, right? :) That's what you told me to do.
I have alot of angels. You were one of my first.
I have alot of angels. You were one of my first.
Let the jerk stay in his silent world. You're not alone and you have people to talk to right here. Men...arrrg.
I see what you mean about not having much to come down with.
What I meant before was not to do what I did so many times. Running out? Losing a source? Omg, I was on the prowl big time then. Phone calls, phone calls.
What I was thinking was maybe you could try not to do that. Just accept that they're gone and not put your mind through all that chaos. I really wish I lived near you. I'd help you through this, Jodi. I'll do it anyway, by email, phone, however you like. Take my hand.
xxxxxooooo
I see what you mean about not having much to come down with.
What I meant before was not to do what I did so many times. Running out? Losing a source? Omg, I was on the prowl big time then. Phone calls, phone calls.
What I was thinking was maybe you could try not to do that. Just accept that they're gone and not put your mind through all that chaos. I really wish I lived near you. I'd help you through this, Jodi. I'll do it anyway, by email, phone, however you like. Take my hand.
xxxxxooooo
That was a beautiful thing to say, Jodi and I'm really touched.
I won't give up on you, I promise.
Come on, take my hand, I won't let go.
xxxxxooooo
I won't give up on you, I promise.
Come on, take my hand, I won't let go.
xxxxxooooo
Thanks, Kat.
Don't let me let go.
So many have reached out to me. One of these times, it's going to stick. I know it is.
It has to. I will show all of you that I haven't been a waste of your time. I appreciate so many here.
I'm going to try to get some sleep while I still can. Work comes real early in the morning.
Don't let me let go.
So many have reached out to me. One of these times, it's going to stick. I know it is.
It has to. I will show all of you that I haven't been a waste of your time. I appreciate so many here.
I'm going to try to get some sleep while I still can. Work comes real early in the morning.
I'm going to give to you what my angel gave to me. Make a fist, a tight fist. I'm making one too. Your hand is being held and you are not alone.
Let's do this for real, Jodi. Reach out for me, I won't let you fall. Just trust me.
You've got to trust somebody.
Feel the power in that fist. I'm there with you, gf.
Rest well and try not to worry. Let's talk tomorrow, okay?
night
xxxxooooo
Let's do this for real, Jodi. Reach out for me, I won't let you fall. Just trust me.
You've got to trust somebody.
Feel the power in that fist. I'm there with you, gf.
Rest well and try not to worry. Let's talk tomorrow, okay?
night
xxxxooooo
kat256,
she has 2 weeks today(mon)
she has 2 weeks today(mon)
never mind. I am pissy today.
I'm so f***ing sick.
I did it to myself. It still sucks. I knew this would happen yet I still chose to do it.
No matter how many times I go through it, I never learn. It never gets easier.
I did it to myself. It still sucks. I knew this would happen yet I still chose to do it.
No matter how many times I go through it, I never learn. It never gets easier.
Jodi.....when I got hooked on those patches my doctor told me to cut them in 4ths and taper that way. I know tapering isn't the answer & doesn't usually work. Plus you've already come this far w/o em it probably would be best to keep that poison out of your system. Good luck...you are doing the right thing.
There are many in recovery who upon getting clean and sober discover that their substance abuse was related to anxiety and/or depression. We self-medicated to feel normal, only we couldn't stop the substance abuse and became addicted. When I initially sobered up in 1991 it was so incredibly hard for me to function without alcohol. I was seeing a counselor and going to AA meetings, but for just over a year I was so depressed that it's still a wonder to me that I survived. Long story short I was finally put in touch with a psychiatrist who diagnosed me as clinically depressed and after some trial and error, got me on an AD that literally turned my life around.
My experience is you should have your sister speak to a doctor as to whether or not an AD is recommended. I tend to agree that there should be a waiting period between the time one gets clean/sober and then starts taking an AD. The brain chemistry needs time to adjust to life without substance abuse. But I'm not a doctor, so this is a decision best made with the assistance of a medical professional.
Even though I've relapsed with pills and alcohol over the years (primarily because I stopped going to meetings), I keep coming back to the 12 step programs because they are so effective for me and so vital to my recovery. I still take my AD and see a counselor periodically. IMO recovery, just like people, comes in all shapes and sizes. Some folks I know in recovery get it the 1st time, yet others have been to rehab countless times. But they don't quit - they keep coming back because they've had a taste of the good life.
For me it's been a bit like two steps forward and one step back (I have a thick head), yet it is the desire to not drink and drug that keeps me going today. At one time in the 90's I had almost 8 years of sobriety, yesterday I celebrated 2 months. While I feel good about these milestones, I've learned it's not the time in recovery, rather the quality of recovery. I need to take care of myself: emotionally, physically and spiritually. When I do that I stay grounded and focused on what's important and what I can let go.
I've learned so many valuable lessons along the way that I wouldn't change a thing. Today, once again, I have hope. I love the "one day at a time" philosophy because it's something I can wrap my brain around.
Best of luck to you and your sister.
Jim
My experience is you should have your sister speak to a doctor as to whether or not an AD is recommended. I tend to agree that there should be a waiting period between the time one gets clean/sober and then starts taking an AD. The brain chemistry needs time to adjust to life without substance abuse. But I'm not a doctor, so this is a decision best made with the assistance of a medical professional.
Even though I've relapsed with pills and alcohol over the years (primarily because I stopped going to meetings), I keep coming back to the 12 step programs because they are so effective for me and so vital to my recovery. I still take my AD and see a counselor periodically. IMO recovery, just like people, comes in all shapes and sizes. Some folks I know in recovery get it the 1st time, yet others have been to rehab countless times. But they don't quit - they keep coming back because they've had a taste of the good life.
For me it's been a bit like two steps forward and one step back (I have a thick head), yet it is the desire to not drink and drug that keeps me going today. At one time in the 90's I had almost 8 years of sobriety, yesterday I celebrated 2 months. While I feel good about these milestones, I've learned it's not the time in recovery, rather the quality of recovery. I need to take care of myself: emotionally, physically and spiritually. When I do that I stay grounded and focused on what's important and what I can let go.
I've learned so many valuable lessons along the way that I wouldn't change a thing. Today, once again, I have hope. I love the "one day at a time" philosophy because it's something I can wrap my brain around.
Best of luck to you and your sister.
Jim
hi jim,
thanks for the post. way to go on the 2 mths.hang in there.
thanks for the post. way to go on the 2 mths.hang in there.
bump
