HI, I'm new here, and I've actually never posted anything anywhere before. Never bothered to learn how to do that, so please excuse me if I do this wrong. Anyway, I've been "sober" for close to 3 months now. And by "sober" I mean, I haven't used drugs or alcohol. I actually gave up meth several years ago, after batteling with it and cocaine for about 13 years. Since I was 12, I've drank, smoked, and gotten high on just about anything. I've batteled with my weight and in general, just have a really addictive personality. In the past 2 years I've given up cigarettes and alcohol serveral times "successfully" for 3 to 4 month stints, only to wind up back in an abusive pattern for one reason or another.
I've been reluctant to seek group counceling, though I have in the past sat in on AA meetings. I've also tried one on one counceling, and not taken well to that either. This is why I use the word sober with quotation marks. I'm not exactly recovered, probably more like dry. The thought of making that commitment never to drink again, and calling myself an alcoholic is daunting.
Funny, this took a turn I didn't intend. Really, what I was after here, was that I am wondering if after a while, you begin to connect with people again. I've felt so unconnected to anyone for so long. I meet people all the time, and come off as very outgoing, but inside, I'm so lonely and misunderstood. I have no attention span, and can't concentrate on much. I feel bad, because when I am with other people, I totaly disregard them most of the time, and find myself wandering off in my head. I'm wondering if I did this to myself with all the drugs, and if anyone can offer some suggestions on what I can do to change that.
Hi Jennygirl,
Welcome aboard! Congradulations on being sober for 3 months I have been sober for six weeks now after being an everyday drinker for years. It feels good although surprisingly unfamiliar to be sober 24 hrs a day.
You asked about feeling connected to and being understood by other people. Do you feel connected to and understand yourself? You said that you have been drinking and or using since you were 14. It might take a lot longer than 3 months to learn who you are when you are sober. Our teenage years are usually filled with self-discovery and learning social skills; I don't know how your substance abuse would have affected that process...
Simply stopping drinking/using doesn't automatically make every thing right. The reasons why we drank/used are still there, at least that has been the case with me. To stay sober we need to learn to deal with our problems in different way. We need to find ways to learn and grow as human beings; maturity is a process, not a destination.....
I hope you find a support system that works for you, I don't think it is realistic to quit permanently with out some kind of support. I know what you mean when you say calling yourself an alcoholic is somewhat daunting, I still have trouble with that one. (read the "Cunning Addiction" thread by Lacey) I suspect that a willingness and a desire to NEVER drink or use again is vital to recovery. I hope you can find your way to an ongoing recovery.
I find this board to be very helpful in maintaining my sobriety; feel free to post here if it helps you....
I hope these thought help.... Cookster
Welcome aboard! Congradulations on being sober for 3 months I have been sober for six weeks now after being an everyday drinker for years. It feels good although surprisingly unfamiliar to be sober 24 hrs a day.
You asked about feeling connected to and being understood by other people. Do you feel connected to and understand yourself? You said that you have been drinking and or using since you were 14. It might take a lot longer than 3 months to learn who you are when you are sober. Our teenage years are usually filled with self-discovery and learning social skills; I don't know how your substance abuse would have affected that process...
Simply stopping drinking/using doesn't automatically make every thing right. The reasons why we drank/used are still there, at least that has been the case with me. To stay sober we need to learn to deal with our problems in different way. We need to find ways to learn and grow as human beings; maturity is a process, not a destination.....
I hope you find a support system that works for you, I don't think it is realistic to quit permanently with out some kind of support. I know what you mean when you say calling yourself an alcoholic is somewhat daunting, I still have trouble with that one. (read the "Cunning Addiction" thread by Lacey) I suspect that a willingness and a desire to NEVER drink or use again is vital to recovery. I hope you can find your way to an ongoing recovery.
I find this board to be very helpful in maintaining my sobriety; feel free to post here if it helps you....
I hope these thought help.... Cookster
Hi Cookster,
thanks for responding. I think you are probably right, I probably did spend alot of my developmental years doing everything but developing. I use pretty much anything I can find to avoid feeling uncomfortable in social situations, and to detract from the discomfort of unpleasant emotions.
I'll check out more of this web site and see what people are saying.
I don't really know where to go to get support. I don't really feel like AA and NA are appropriate places for me, because I'm not 100% sure about their programs, and because I've not used for a while, I don't know if I should go to those meetings. I would like to find a way to meet people who can understand some of my trappings.
Congradulations on your sobriety. Is this the first go round for you, or have you done this before?
thanks for responding. I think you are probably right, I probably did spend alot of my developmental years doing everything but developing. I use pretty much anything I can find to avoid feeling uncomfortable in social situations, and to detract from the discomfort of unpleasant emotions.
I'll check out more of this web site and see what people are saying.
I don't really know where to go to get support. I don't really feel like AA and NA are appropriate places for me, because I'm not 100% sure about their programs, and because I've not used for a while, I don't know if I should go to those meetings. I would like to find a way to meet people who can understand some of my trappings.
Congradulations on your sobriety. Is this the first go round for you, or have you done this before?
Hi JennyGirl, This is the first time being sober for me in 8 years. Up til 6 weeks ago I handn't gone longer than about 4 days without drinking. I'm not sure why or how I have managed this time; I've been concerned and even scared about my drinking for about 4 years. I do know that for the first time I admitted to myself that I was powerles to stop once I had even one drink, I also came to the point where I was willing to contemplate not drinking at all instead of just cutting back. I think these two things were vital for the success I have had so far...... I can understand your reluctance to attend AA, I don't attend either, try reading the "Not in 12 either" thread. Keep posting Jenny, no matter what your "trappings" are, I'm sure that there will be somebody that understands. There are a lot of very wise, insightful and understanding people on this board; I count myself lucky to have found this place....
Stay in touch..... Cookster.
Stay in touch..... Cookster.
Dear Jennygirl, I'm sorry it took me a while to respond to your post. I'm still not exactly sure what to say. But, I'm going to try! Please no that you are not alone in your stinkin thinkin. You sound confused about whether or not your an addict. It seems youv'e been battling with some type of addiction & then trade it for another when you stop one addiction. I to feel alone, stuck, trapped , isolated. I believe God brought me to this board in pure desperation in Feb. This was the beginning of my journey into real recovery. I surrendered to knowing that I can't drink just one drink, that once I started I could not stop. Then I would obcess about getting more. I would physically crave it,mentally think about it all the time. My life became unmanageable & thats saying it mildly. I knew I was in big trouble! And I didn't know what to do. I tried AA before & felt uncomfortable, but did learn some great tools there. I saw a counselor for a short time & felt uncomfortable. Actually it didn't help. So a couple more yrs. of my life passed by & I just got even sicker. You can continue on the way you've been or you can choose to get off the HWY from hell now. It sound like you would rather get off that HWY to hell now. If you want to suffer some more do nothing . Jennygirl thats not what I hear in you voice. From reading people's post's here I learned I had to make another surrender. I can't do this ALONE ANYMORE! Believe me I tried for many yrs. decades in fact. So, I did a little research about out patient therapy, & counseling. I went to one therapist & there was no connection, in fact I think she needs to see one herself. I didn't give up & went to another addiction specialist thank God there was a connection I felt with her. She & the people on this board made me realize I needed treatment. So now I'm into my second wk. & I'm making progress. I knew I was @ the end of my rope, & I was going to die if I didn't take action. I knew had to be honest , open & willing to do the wk. Going for treatment is the best thing I've ever done for myself. It is excellent & I'm surprised how comfortable I am in groups, I'm surprised that this is really helping me. I'm so greatful that it's really helping me. Dear Jennygirl, you are WORTH IT! I'm proud of you that you had the courage to reach out for help! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ALONE ANYMORE! This is the first step in your journey into recovery. Most of us have some kind of mental,emotional problem or we wouldn't have drank,used, over ate, etc. over it. But we can get better if we ask for help. I never posted on any website either. There's a reason you came here, because you know you have a problem that you can't fix on your own. Keep coming back here. Please don't give up Jennygirl,there is hope,it is do able. There is another website called www. reachingupforair.com I found it on another board from this site. It has many helpful links as well. If AA isn't for you there are other selfhelp groups. Sobriety for Woman, Smart Recovery. You can read about them there. Please Jenny girl don't give up; remember you are WORTH IT GIRL! With willings, openess & honesty you can get better. I hope this helps to know you aren't alone. There is no judgement here. Keep posting & Please let us know how you are. Love, Chris XXX
HI Jenny girl,
While I appreciate your reservations about being an alcoholic, and since you quit using meth and coke some time ago and addict, let me tell what my experience has been. I have used for the past 18 years, manuy drugs, but mainly coke and alcohol. Like you, i felt empty, disasociated, and developed other addictions as I quit one, i would take up another. It was only after I went to NA and AA that I starterd to understand what was realy wrong, and that it was to do with how I lived and experienced life. I have found the 12 steps ( I am still in the erarly steps) remarkable in help0-ing me recover. And being a spiritual programme, they have replaced thast empotiness. It is here that I have found people that realy understand me, and who I am able to connect with.
Now I know you tried it, but I would encourage you to try a couple more meetingsd. Each group is different, and you will find one that suits you. Especially if you go with an open mind. What you got to loose - except a couple of hours?
It so worked for me.
Thanks for posting
While I appreciate your reservations about being an alcoholic, and since you quit using meth and coke some time ago and addict, let me tell what my experience has been. I have used for the past 18 years, manuy drugs, but mainly coke and alcohol. Like you, i felt empty, disasociated, and developed other addictions as I quit one, i would take up another. It was only after I went to NA and AA that I starterd to understand what was realy wrong, and that it was to do with how I lived and experienced life. I have found the 12 steps ( I am still in the erarly steps) remarkable in help0-ing me recover. And being a spiritual programme, they have replaced thast empotiness. It is here that I have found people that realy understand me, and who I am able to connect with.
Now I know you tried it, but I would encourage you to try a couple more meetingsd. Each group is different, and you will find one that suits you. Especially if you go with an open mind. What you got to loose - except a couple of hours?
It so worked for me.
Thanks for posting
Welcome Jennygirl!
Gidday Jenny Girl
Give the meetings another go as you have said you attention tends to wander so what better a place to start learning to listen and care about yourself again.
Ive heard it said at meetings that it helps to listen for the similaritys and not look for the differences, Im addicted to anything that feels good to me and i am not a regular attender of meetings now and in early recovery i went once a week but i do have a gratitude to AA and recovery that i never want to loose because when i listened they were there for me and helped me regain my life and i have been sober and drug free now for II years and 7 days.
Light and love Zac
Give the meetings another go as you have said you attention tends to wander so what better a place to start learning to listen and care about yourself again.
Ive heard it said at meetings that it helps to listen for the similaritys and not look for the differences, Im addicted to anything that feels good to me and i am not a regular attender of meetings now and in early recovery i went once a week but i do have a gratitude to AA and recovery that i never want to loose because when i listened they were there for me and helped me regain my life and i have been sober and drug free now for II years and 7 days.
Light and love Zac
