How Much Is Too Much??

My brother is addicted to marijuana. Has been for over 20 years. He knows he has a huge problem and has tried to quit many times. Has quit for up to 9 months, but has always gone back. He has been in residential treatment and has used the 12 step program unsuccessfully. He has gone to meetings every day for months. When he stops smoking, he gets extreme anxiety to the point of being suicidal. He almost ended his life this past weekend and is now in a mental health unit. I have always been there for him to support and help him get better. The rest of my family thinks I'm in too deep. Where do I draw the line? How do I do it? Yesterday I didn't call him or visit him at all and I'm afraid he'll feel abandoned. I am the closest person to him. He doesn't have many "real" friends anymore and he ruined his marriage. Any suggestions?
hello there, in your post you stated how do i do it? you cant do anything for him until he is ready to get honest about his addiction and you are going to get in the middle of a very nasty situation, since he is in the hospital receiving proper medical attention, it sounds like he may have been self medicating all these years for whatever problems he has faced. by trying to take his own life and being in the hospital maybe he will get the help or medication that he needs. as far as you being in too deep, it sounds like you have rescued him many times and your life and sanity is at great risk. you are feeling guilty right now becuz you didnt call or visit, its ok, he is where he is supposed to be right now,.you need help and comfort yourself and i would recommend going to al-alon or a counselor to help ease your worries. you are not responsible for the choices your brother made and you have your own life to live. your brother has to want to live and get clean you cant do it for him. you can be supportive and visit without enabling him any longer. my ex is out there smoking pot everyday and drinking and thinks its ok becuz he used to do heroin. when i finally got the fact that my 40 yr old ex was going to do whatever he wanted no matter what i did, i began my healing. when i learned that the only one i could save was myself, a huge weight was lifted. take care of yourself and read alot of posts that will help understand that you are not alone.

{{{hugs}}}

carol
You said your brother was in a mental health unit have you tried talking to his counsler, they may can help you with your concerns about how much is too much.. I agree with Carol try to find some alanon meeting they will really help alot.. It is hard to not want to help someone you love but sometimes the only thing we can do is back off until they decide to help theirselves..
Thanks to both of you for your input. He is getting out of the hospital tomorrow already. I can't believe it. I am worried sick about him, but am ready to do what I need to do and back off. Change needs to come from him and him only.