Hi,
I am looking for advice on what helped getting clean and being able not to relapse. ( not referring to methadone, subs or vitriviol) Was it a specific passion, was going to meetings, being with your loved ones, a specific therapist that was able to help?
My loved one is currently in treatment after having relapsed a few times. What can we do to help as his family? Also he seems to have no interests in life, so I was wondering if finding a specific interest or passion for something could help him.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you
Hey Jojo,
With the thread being in this forum, I'm assuming the drug of choice was heroin. Once acute withdrawals are over, typically a syndrome called PAWS sets in. His lethargy and depression make it sound like this is what he is suffering from. This can take a long time to deal with. Here's the thing about addiction: no one with a normally functioning mind ends up a heroin addict, period. No one says "I want to be a heroin addict when I grow up!" It's just not logical. Alcohol or drug use are symptoms of a much more serious underlying issue when someone is an addict. That's why we have all known the 23 year old binge drinker who can have 30 beers in a night, say they don't have a problem, and accept that they may very well not be lying about that. Addicts don't react that way. With addiction, the problem is why we use, not what or how much of it.
I digress. Your loved one's problems are just beginning. He is going to need to be proactive in dealing with the character defects that have allowed him to use for so long, and unfortunately, if he has been a heroin addict for a while, he has compounded his problem with the damage he has done to his brain. Post-acute withdrawal syndrome is what many addicts must endure as the brain begins to re-calibrate and readjust to a life without the insulation of opiates. I'm currently dealing with the same thing, and I'll tell you flat out, it sucks. It's tough.
Now, I'm no MD, but I know a thing or two about addiction and this has been working for me so far. Physical exercise helps. It creates an endorphin rush which his body is craving. Opiates cause a massive rush of endorphins. A healthy diet helps. Keeping his mind occupied, whether it be through work, NA meetings, church, golf, tennis, whatever.... Being lost in his own head is simply no good. I'm also considering going on an antidepressant (effexor) for PAWS as it re-regulates serotonin production and stimulates the mu-opioid receptors in the brain. I will continue to post as I progress as to whether or not I feel it is effective.
He's going to probably need some counseling. Whether professional or through NA, he needs to be able to talk to someone who is understanding and can be unbiased. Don't take it personally if he doesn't want to share his shame and dirty secrets with you. Every junkie is carrying a lot of baggage. And truly, the power of one addict helping another is unparalleled.
I also wouldn't recommend all of this at once. It can be overwhelming to an already shocked nervous system. Easy does it. One day at a time.
Godspeed.
With the thread being in this forum, I'm assuming the drug of choice was heroin. Once acute withdrawals are over, typically a syndrome called PAWS sets in. His lethargy and depression make it sound like this is what he is suffering from. This can take a long time to deal with. Here's the thing about addiction: no one with a normally functioning mind ends up a heroin addict, period. No one says "I want to be a heroin addict when I grow up!" It's just not logical. Alcohol or drug use are symptoms of a much more serious underlying issue when someone is an addict. That's why we have all known the 23 year old binge drinker who can have 30 beers in a night, say they don't have a problem, and accept that they may very well not be lying about that. Addicts don't react that way. With addiction, the problem is why we use, not what or how much of it.
I digress. Your loved one's problems are just beginning. He is going to need to be proactive in dealing with the character defects that have allowed him to use for so long, and unfortunately, if he has been a heroin addict for a while, he has compounded his problem with the damage he has done to his brain. Post-acute withdrawal syndrome is what many addicts must endure as the brain begins to re-calibrate and readjust to a life without the insulation of opiates. I'm currently dealing with the same thing, and I'll tell you flat out, it sucks. It's tough.
Now, I'm no MD, but I know a thing or two about addiction and this has been working for me so far. Physical exercise helps. It creates an endorphin rush which his body is craving. Opiates cause a massive rush of endorphins. A healthy diet helps. Keeping his mind occupied, whether it be through work, NA meetings, church, golf, tennis, whatever.... Being lost in his own head is simply no good. I'm also considering going on an antidepressant (effexor) for PAWS as it re-regulates serotonin production and stimulates the mu-opioid receptors in the brain. I will continue to post as I progress as to whether or not I feel it is effective.
He's going to probably need some counseling. Whether professional or through NA, he needs to be able to talk to someone who is understanding and can be unbiased. Don't take it personally if he doesn't want to share his shame and dirty secrets with you. Every junkie is carrying a lot of baggage. And truly, the power of one addict helping another is unparalleled.
I also wouldn't recommend all of this at once. It can be overwhelming to an already shocked nervous system. Easy does it. One day at a time.
Godspeed.
Thank you Chris this is very helpful. It helps me understand the recovery process and how he might be feeling. The last time he relapsed was because he was bored and feeling horrible.
I hope he finds the strength. I will slowly try to pass on your advice to him.
THank you very much and good luck to you as well in your recovery
I hope he finds the strength. I will slowly try to pass on your advice to him.
THank you very much and good luck to you as well in your recovery
Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous have "open meetings" in your area.
These are meetings that can be attended by the general public and you are welcome to attend "no questions asked".
Look up AA or NA in your local telephone book or on-line and give them a call. They will be happy to tell you about meeting schedules and venues.
At those meetings you will hear speakers tell their stories and you will have the opportunity to meet friends & family of alcoholic/addicts and see/hear first hand how they cope and contribute to the recovery process.
There is valuable information/direction/strength available at your area Al-Anon and Nar-Anon meetings (for family/friends of addicts). I strongly suggest you contact then as well.
Look Al-Anon and Nar-Anon up in your phone book or on-line and contact them.
Your addict/alcoholic will have to commit to NA/AA when he/she has suffered enough. It will be their decision and you have little rower/control over it.
What you do have power/control over is your own life and how best to get it back.. and I strongly suggest Al- Anon/Nar-Anon for your own sanity and serenity.
All the best.
Bob R
These are meetings that can be attended by the general public and you are welcome to attend "no questions asked".
Look up AA or NA in your local telephone book or on-line and give them a call. They will be happy to tell you about meeting schedules and venues.
At those meetings you will hear speakers tell their stories and you will have the opportunity to meet friends & family of alcoholic/addicts and see/hear first hand how they cope and contribute to the recovery process.
There is valuable information/direction/strength available at your area Al-Anon and Nar-Anon meetings (for family/friends of addicts). I strongly suggest you contact then as well.
Look Al-Anon and Nar-Anon up in your phone book or on-line and contact them.
Your addict/alcoholic will have to commit to NA/AA when he/she has suffered enough. It will be their decision and you have little rower/control over it.
What you do have power/control over is your own life and how best to get it back.. and I strongly suggest Al- Anon/Nar-Anon for your own sanity and serenity.
All the best.
Bob R
My daughter is currently in the process of early recovery from Heroin/Opiate use. She has been clean since early March but did have a 2 day relapse after coming out of sober living but immediately came to us asking for help. She has used a combination of working, exercise, meeting with a Psychiatrist, and having a monthly vivitrol shot. Her brain continues to heal everyday and she said she has no urge to use. She is also beginning to make friends that are not part of the drug world. Good luck with the recovery of your family member but remember that each addict's journey is unique to them and what works for one may not work for another. Encourage them to continue working on their recovery until they find what works for them.
Thank you very much Papa Bear - I had gone to one NA family meeting but found it hard to see other family members share their sufferings. I will try again. Thank you for your reply
THank you Sportsgirl. THis helps a lot and gives me hope. Wishing your daughter a lot of strength to continue on the good path she has taken.
JoJo,
Thanks and I wanted to say that I can't say enough about seeing a psychiatrist in case he has a mental condition as well as drug use. I found through our journey that the rehabs do a good job with the issues with the drug use such as fighting cravings, triggers, etc. but some of the time (most of the time) there is an underlying issue as to why our loved ones found their way to drugs. My daughter was in an abusive relationship and also struggled with depression so drugs were a way of self-medication for her, especially pain killers. Having her take a deep look into why she used and not just how to stop has been wonderful for her. Most rehabs do not have the resources to provide one on one psychiatric counseling for the addicts.
Also, I have always struggled with the NA meetings. As I said each addict's journey is different and so is every family member's. Some find comfort in the meetings and others feel depressed when attending them, each person that is affected with this disease needs to find their own way to stay mentally healthy also!
Thanks and I wanted to say that I can't say enough about seeing a psychiatrist in case he has a mental condition as well as drug use. I found through our journey that the rehabs do a good job with the issues with the drug use such as fighting cravings, triggers, etc. but some of the time (most of the time) there is an underlying issue as to why our loved ones found their way to drugs. My daughter was in an abusive relationship and also struggled with depression so drugs were a way of self-medication for her, especially pain killers. Having her take a deep look into why she used and not just how to stop has been wonderful for her. Most rehabs do not have the resources to provide one on one psychiatric counseling for the addicts.
Also, I have always struggled with the NA meetings. As I said each addict's journey is different and so is every family member's. Some find comfort in the meetings and others feel depressed when attending them, each person that is affected with this disease needs to find their own way to stay mentally healthy also!
I'm not going to say what's right or wrong but I spent years in psychotherapy and group therapies throughout the 1970's & 1980's to little avail.
It wasn't until I entered the recovery home in 1989 that my life began to improve.
It is well described in HOW IT WORKS http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10..._howitworks.pdf
In the recovery home in 1989 one of the first patients I met was the chief-of-staff doctor from a large nearby hospital. I met leading lawyers/priests/ministers/the chief of police/pilots/tradesmen/thieves/druggies/sex addicts/child molesters and murderers.
We all had the same "soul sickness" and we were treated the same... we sat at the same tables and shared in the same groups. We healed and grew together.
I found that the sentence in HOW IT WORKS
"There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest." applied to literally all of us.
The drink/drug was a symptom ... the tip of the iceberg of our spiritual soul sickness.
I heard a guy say at at meeting early on:
"I feel like I have a hole in my soul !"
"How big is the hole?" asked another...
"Just about God size" replied the first
I soon came to know what he was talking about.
I will tell you that rehabs will get us clean/dry and ready for AA/NA. They are like educational kindergarten. Our recovery begins when we leave rehab and commit to AA/NA.
Many folks think that AA/NA ONLY treats the drinking/drug problem. How wrong that is ??!!
I find AA to be the holistic/wholeistic balm for our disease.
It treats our head, heart, body and soul ..... if done as prescribed.
I wish you all the best.
Bob R
It wasn't until I entered the recovery home in 1989 that my life began to improve.
It is well described in HOW IT WORKS http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10..._howitworks.pdf
In the recovery home in 1989 one of the first patients I met was the chief-of-staff doctor from a large nearby hospital. I met leading lawyers/priests/ministers/the chief of police/pilots/tradesmen/thieves/druggies/sex addicts/child molesters and murderers.
We all had the same "soul sickness" and we were treated the same... we sat at the same tables and shared in the same groups. We healed and grew together.
I found that the sentence in HOW IT WORKS
"There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest." applied to literally all of us.
The drink/drug was a symptom ... the tip of the iceberg of our spiritual soul sickness.
I heard a guy say at at meeting early on:
"I feel like I have a hole in my soul !"
"How big is the hole?" asked another...
"Just about God size" replied the first
I soon came to know what he was talking about.
I will tell you that rehabs will get us clean/dry and ready for AA/NA. They are like educational kindergarten. Our recovery begins when we leave rehab and commit to AA/NA.
Many folks think that AA/NA ONLY treats the drinking/drug problem. How wrong that is ??!!
I find AA to be the holistic/wholeistic balm for our disease.
It treats our head, heart, body and soul ..... if done as prescribed.
I wish you all the best.
Bob R
Thank you Bob for your insight. I do agree with all the points the 12 steps make and think they are real, deep and spiritual. I also do realize that in fighting addiction whether it's family or addicts with different backgrounds, we are all equals.
Best,
Best,
Thank you Sportgirl. I will keep that in mind. I think it's very important to find a good psychiatrist to help him
Alanon/Naranon is for the families. An open NA meeting is open for families/friends or anyone interested in NA. Could be why you felt lost.
