Hello there
I hope I am welcome here, I am not an addict, but a wife of one. I think I chose to post here and not in the families section because I think maybe pot addiction is different. As it seems easier for addicts to convince themselves that they are ok.
I met my husband when he was 29. He was smoking regularly but told me that he decided to stop when he was 30. Fast forward to today, he is 47 years old, lost pretty much any friends he ever had, and very sadly lost both his parents, most recently his mother to lung cancer two years ago. We also have the most precious two year old.
Over the years he has tried multiple times to quit, while still talking about weed as it was a wonderful thing. He just wants to get rid of the addiction but wants to get back to it on a less regular basis because he just loves it so much. Over the years I have been living with him going back on fourth and all the difficulty that comes with that. He always eventually gets back to all day, every day.
Recently he again decided that he wanted to quit. He came to me with a plan that he will stop as soon as he starts growing a plant in the attic, but he wants me to help him technically with growing. Originally I am not quite sure why but I said ok. I guess because I wanted to support him on his positive change. Later on I kept on reading about addiction etc. and thinking and I realized that by doing that I am really just helping him to loose his battle. I recently told him that and he is very upset and disappointed.
He is begging me to change my mind and help him. what do you think? should I help him? He says as soon as I tell him I will help him he will put it all away in a closed envelope and if he touches it before the plant is ready he will go to some sort of rehab. And if he ever smokes more than "occasionally" when the plant is ready then also he will do the same.
I think after all these years of trying to quit (17. yes 17. and he has been smoking for at least 10 years before that so all day every day for over 25 years) there is nothing he can do other than quitting altogether and knowing in his mind that this is bad for him and he needs to stay away from it forever.
what do you think?
I would appreciate any feedback.
thank you in advance.
Hi Wife
Your very welcome and I hope you and your husband get the help you both deserve. Am I right in saying that he said he would stop smoking pot once he starts growing a pot plant? That has got to be the craziest way of stopping i have ever heard. as you said yourself he has been smoking so long and tried to quit many times with no success. Any reason you think this time will be any different? I think he has tried his way long enough and its time he tried someone elses way.
I have been clean and sober about 2 and a half years now. I smoked every day for 10 years and thought I could not do without it. I tried quitting many times myself with no success. Eventually I gave in and started to go to NA meetings. I learned from others how to stay clean. To be honest cannabis is no different to any other drug. an addict is an addict is an addict.
Do yourself a favor and post this in the families forum as you will get good advice there.If it was me I would insist that the plant goes, that he gives up completely and that he goes to regular NA meetings. Make a list of how his smoking is affecting you and how you feel it will affect his young child. Tell him how you feel it is affecting him. Tell him WHY you want him to quit. Make sure you dont do it in half measures. He stops completely and he stops now or there will be consequences. Unfortunately he needs to want it himself but maybe you highlighting why you want him to stop will push him in the right direction.
My uncle recently died of lung cancer. he was about 55. He smoked cannabis almost all his life, he left behind a wife and two grown up kids who both also smoke pot regularly. One of them has a beautiful one year old boy and they smoke pot around him.I wonder would they both be addicted to pot if he had quit when they were young. I wonder would he still be alive today to see his grandson grow up if he had given up when they were young. Is that the legacy your husband wants to leave?
I hope things work out for the three of you. Please get him to look into NA meetings as it may save his life.
Your very welcome and I hope you and your husband get the help you both deserve. Am I right in saying that he said he would stop smoking pot once he starts growing a pot plant? That has got to be the craziest way of stopping i have ever heard. as you said yourself he has been smoking so long and tried to quit many times with no success. Any reason you think this time will be any different? I think he has tried his way long enough and its time he tried someone elses way.
I have been clean and sober about 2 and a half years now. I smoked every day for 10 years and thought I could not do without it. I tried quitting many times myself with no success. Eventually I gave in and started to go to NA meetings. I learned from others how to stay clean. To be honest cannabis is no different to any other drug. an addict is an addict is an addict.
Do yourself a favor and post this in the families forum as you will get good advice there.If it was me I would insist that the plant goes, that he gives up completely and that he goes to regular NA meetings. Make a list of how his smoking is affecting you and how you feel it will affect his young child. Tell him how you feel it is affecting him. Tell him WHY you want him to quit. Make sure you dont do it in half measures. He stops completely and he stops now or there will be consequences. Unfortunately he needs to want it himself but maybe you highlighting why you want him to stop will push him in the right direction.
My uncle recently died of lung cancer. he was about 55. He smoked cannabis almost all his life, he left behind a wife and two grown up kids who both also smoke pot regularly. One of them has a beautiful one year old boy and they smoke pot around him.I wonder would they both be addicted to pot if he had quit when they were young. I wonder would he still be alive today to see his grandson grow up if he had given up when they were young. Is that the legacy your husband wants to leave?
I hope things work out for the three of you. Please get him to look into NA meetings as it may save his life.
Thank you jh8.
I hope I will be strong enough to do this... and will try to post also in the families forum :)
I hope I will be strong enough to do this... and will try to post also in the families forum :)
