Hi peeps,
Well I'm tryin anything that may stop me using and reclaim whats left of my life.
I've used phet on and off for the last 13 years but only really as a 'clubbin' drug. Moved to E's, had a breakdown, lost all confidence (and most friends) and thought 3 1/2 years down the line I was dealin with it.
Me an old phet mate last september, his heads totally gone, and wanted to help. Instead I got back into it and as much as I want to stop, I'm scared (of what?).
I've never felt so alive and confident when on it and just can't cope with the dreaded comedown (I never wanna come down). I use 3-5 days continuous, try desperately to tell myself enuf is enuf but by day 3 of comedown I'm so low its the only thing that makes me feel better.
I'm meeting my drugs councilor for the 1st time tuesday and I'm really hopin she can work miracles.
Well thats me, it's all down in black and white and I've admitted it - I'M A DRUG ADDICT.
Here's hopin you can watch me bounce back and if knowing none of you are alone in this world helps, then bonus.
Feel free to contact me (please no abuse, I'm so weak!) cos altho I no I'm not really alone, it's a dam lonely place without my phet mate.
All good you guys, hugs an love to everyone
Buffy x
Buffyx, You have the right attitude. I remember the fear. Knowing that not only was I an addict, but that my entire lifestyle had to go. People, places, and things. Oh my gosh. Staying where I was at was the "easy" road. All I can tell you is yes, it is hard. It is definatly worth it. Life does get better. Remember, replace negativity with positivity, your friend,,,,Linda
well, i'm sitting on an island right now. my day started with a pounding headache, now nausea. anyway, i spent one full year doing speed every single day. i had no job, became a recluse and while i lived directly across the street from steps to the ocean...i can count on my hands how many times i ventured out to the other side. talk about a love hate relationship. speed is that in a nutshell. um, getting back to the point here...i understand how you feel...its like a part of your life that wasn't supposed to happen. i've been sober now for six months. because my boyfriend died after overdosing on speed. talk about intervention. if i could have one wish granted....it would be that this doesn't happen to anyone else on earth. its such a hard thing to stop doing but i have to tell you, its the least of my problems now.
Hang in there......you CAN do this...My prayers are with you. Remember the journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step....shoot i cant remember who said that but its true.
wow bout to barf , that is some serious intervention ....one thing I miss from my days before meth .....was going to the beach....great place to sit and think , walk and absorb life , or does that bring back memories!!!! I'm sorry if it does . Something I feel about those that we love , that have passed. It is our loving memories of them that keep their souls near , I believe the light we see as we cross over is the love and souls of all we have touched . He may be gone physically , but if you open your heart .... honor their life by enjoying the moments spent together , dont sorrow , you will see signs that he is still with you .....be strong , have faith ,... and move on ... best wishes ......AL
