Alright dave just wondering how you are keeping, hope you are doing well, nearly went to dublin on sunday, even phone my dealer, no answer and no answer on the guy who runs the outfit.
Thank God even on mon night I was craving like mad, and I was going to go down but I talked my self out of it.
you go down every 2 weeks make I could do that, would score everytime am down, and would end up taking gear for the 1st week, so it was out of my system for the piss test the following week.
Hope u are keeping well.
Geoff
keeping good geoff ,mate,am working shifts so i dont get in till 10/11pm this week.sounds like like u pulled thru a tough one sun/mon,good man.sure it coulda turned out diff. if your boy was on when u rang sun,eh.tuesday now so your doing good,how much meth. u taking&geoff going down there every 2wks is great now im staying off,but i would do exactly like u said...one week on the gear /time to clean out/extra meth/clean urine...sounds perfect?in the end i was just getting two habits&there were times when i would just use right thru&give a dirty.its just over time i had to get away from the gear fulltime coz it aint a partime life,/healthwise/financially/relationships etc,you know it yourself.lookin back know the meth. just became a crutch for my heroin add.i was a fool to put into jeapordy my good luck[with the clinic].just so u can get it more im on the clinic 6yr.in the last 4yr its been once ev.2wk.before weekly...i just asked because 1 i have my nipper alot&work shifts so my doc. said be good &ok,but as u said the temptation to abuse the trust was huge...i was only dicking myself.im goin on ,no word from our lou,sure shes having a good time&well talk to her next wk.geoff how are u & yer g/f getting on?better i hope ,for u mate.im off to me stracther now,wont be about in the evenings but give me a post,tell how your doin ok...all the best geoff ....i just forgot yer going on holidays soon ya lucky b$$$$r....talk tomm.mate.....davey
Geoff..hope the week is going good for u,am off to work soon all the best..davey
alright dave
Yes I know for a fact I would of been doing the same, it's a hard one, you know dave for about 4 nearly 5 years of my addiction i never ever got any cravings i could stop taking it be sick and then fine, but the gf always talked me in to getting more so we did, was'nt hard to talk me into it though,
going aboard in 2 weeks time can't wait going to try an get off the meth 4 then, take a feed of drink, just me and the gf, we r taking the child down south at the end of the summer.
In n.ireland there is no such thing as a mantanance program, just a detox, if it was'nt 4 the job i done, i would go to them every week, r day if i had 2 and make them put me on it. but if i went now they would tell my boss and a would be sacked so a just have to do it myself.
On 9mil today, will not tell you any lie's mate it been had, the last 4 weeks had no enmergy and i have been waking up feeling rough, 15 sneeze's this morn, always think it's mad funny. suppose its not really a laughing matter, but hey, if u did'nt u would cry eh.
came off meth a few times but this time it seems harder, the gf is keeping me back some of her subs so i will finish of on them, once im on 5mil meth. was think about taking 2 30mg codiene pain killers 3 times a day then 2 next day then 1, then none, what do you think.
have always made a joke out of this heroin thing, every family have there own dark little secrets, this is mine.
life is 1 big adventure mate, we just have to take each day as it comes.
me and the gf fell out on sunday think thats what started the cravings, i finished it, told her that my head was fu*ked up enough with all this s***, never mind u making it worst, but we have made up now.
what about u mate c' in any-1,
take it easy dave
geoff
Yes I know for a fact I would of been doing the same, it's a hard one, you know dave for about 4 nearly 5 years of my addiction i never ever got any cravings i could stop taking it be sick and then fine, but the gf always talked me in to getting more so we did, was'nt hard to talk me into it though,
going aboard in 2 weeks time can't wait going to try an get off the meth 4 then, take a feed of drink, just me and the gf, we r taking the child down south at the end of the summer.
In n.ireland there is no such thing as a mantanance program, just a detox, if it was'nt 4 the job i done, i would go to them every week, r day if i had 2 and make them put me on it. but if i went now they would tell my boss and a would be sacked so a just have to do it myself.
On 9mil today, will not tell you any lie's mate it been had, the last 4 weeks had no enmergy and i have been waking up feeling rough, 15 sneeze's this morn, always think it's mad funny. suppose its not really a laughing matter, but hey, if u did'nt u would cry eh.
came off meth a few times but this time it seems harder, the gf is keeping me back some of her subs so i will finish of on them, once im on 5mil meth. was think about taking 2 30mg codiene pain killers 3 times a day then 2 next day then 1, then none, what do you think.
have always made a joke out of this heroin thing, every family have there own dark little secrets, this is mine.
life is 1 big adventure mate, we just have to take each day as it comes.
me and the gf fell out on sunday think thats what started the cravings, i finished it, told her that my head was fu*ked up enough with all this s***, never mind u making it worst, but we have made up now.
what about u mate c' in any-1,
take it easy dave
geoff
geoff,hows tricks sounding ok ,first your reduction ,it sounds pretty well thoght out so yep,id go with wat u got planned.glad you&g/f are getting on better,but mate u know the real test is when you are off work&down south,its gonna be a b**** for you,but over the last cple.of weeks you have done real good staying away from it all.secrets eh, we wouldnt be human if we didnt have em,even if they play on the mind,like smack does.so easy to say f$$k it &have a toot,can we stop at one bag,i know i couldnt,id be a pig if i got back into it after being off for 5wk.maybe im wrong but i dont think you would jus ,say yeh jus get me a q,&that would be that.remember the post ages back when we talked about ringing the dealer ,scoring,foil,tooter,lighter&you said the rush you felt after reading it,post me tomm&tell me how u feel now,if u know wot i mean.geoff ,i tell ya you have done so well staying off,i mean it.mucker off to bed soon talk tomm.o.k...all the best....davey
no probs dave chat tomorrow, off work so a show be on, was trying to find a chat room so we could chat live, but no joy yet, my yahoo fu8ked up so a want to find something that you don't need to log on to, just make up a username.
Talk 2 u 2morrow, starting 2 get drunk. :)
Geoff
Just to say dave ur a real good pal and a hope we can get to know each other well, and yes a felt good the next morn, but these craving's are beating the s*** clean outta me, ain't never felt nothing like it.
Talk tomor..
Talk 2 u 2morrow, starting 2 get drunk. :)
Geoff
Just to say dave ur a real good pal and a hope we can get to know each other well, and yes a felt good the next morn, but these craving's are beating the s*** clean outta me, ain't never felt nothing like it.
Talk tomor..
reading this thing about heroin use in N.Ireland. part of it says about getting introduced to heroin here and in the 1970s there was none in the 80s there was 7, and in the 90s there was 10. well seems like there is now to many, I must be one of the few, but I think if you multiply this by 100 it would be more collect.
in one of the books i mentioned it says there is up to 2000 yep,addicts in the ballmena/bangor/nrth.down area.go figure as they say ...nite mate&been good chatting....davey
Dave mate the gf just sent me a q, I think that she is using more than what I think, she phone me this morning and told me that she had sent it. when the post came I could'nt find it and my face turned white and I was shaking like mad, but then I found it, feel a bit guilty now, but I am glad she did because for 1 I have not got enough meth to get me to next wednesday till i get over to her, and 2 because as you know, I have been climbing the walls with these cravings, so I hope it won't set me back.
Hope you don't think badly of me, but I want to be totally honest, would rather of got a bag than go to dublin and get a garden gate, then I would be totally scr*wed.
Sometimes I think that I am never going to be able to stay totally clean, but I am trying and I think that that is the main thing, once I found out I was addicted to smack, I have been trying to get off it, at least i admit and release I have a problem, but the gf is the prob. always saying 1 more time won't hurt and i give in, thats why i think i could of been off this long ago, but maybe thats me just making an excuse.
what time did u get to bed at last night, it was 4 this morn for me and was a wee bit drunk, feel alright this morn though.
Talk later7
from a guilty geoff
p.s will be on all day if u wana chat.
Hope you don't think badly of me, but I want to be totally honest, would rather of got a bag than go to dublin and get a garden gate, then I would be totally scr*wed.
Sometimes I think that I am never going to be able to stay totally clean, but I am trying and I think that that is the main thing, once I found out I was addicted to smack, I have been trying to get off it, at least i admit and release I have a problem, but the gf is the prob. always saying 1 more time won't hurt and i give in, thats why i think i could of been off this long ago, but maybe thats me just making an excuse.
what time did u get to bed at last night, it was 4 this morn for me and was a wee bit drunk, feel alright this morn though.
Talk later7
from a guilty geoff
p.s will be on all day if u wana chat.
geoff,i know u might feel a bit guilty but yer right its just 1q¬ a gate.no mate i wouldnt judge you for taking it,as robbie would say this site is all about being honest,so thanks for just doin that,as u say it shows yer really trying&like us all have a problem.have to go into town shortly&get Sian one of those x/box games that u sing all the songs on,so its gonna be full on 7yr old karoke here soon.mate you gave me a chuckle,i can just picture you goin thru the post like a lunatic.all the best as ever..davey
There will be some noise in ur house today, I was going to buy the gf that sing star thing for the playstation, and it's funny u should mention it, I was just thinking last night, A kareoke machine would be some crack, loved to c sian when he gets it, be a real singer after a couple of weeks on that yolk,
Can't wait to c my baby, she is nearly 2, and a have'nt seen her in 3 weeks, miss her so much, hate how there is no help here, thats why she is at home, so she can do a quick sub detox, but its not going so quick.
Have to go into town as well at some stage.
And yes a phoned the gf telling her I could'nt find it she said my voice was real funny to, it's amazing how it can control you so much
Can't wait to c my baby, she is nearly 2, and a have'nt seen her in 3 weeks, miss her so much, hate how there is no help here, thats why she is at home, so she can do a quick sub detox, but its not going so quick.
Have to go into town as well at some stage.
And yes a phoned the gf telling her I could'nt find it she said my voice was real funny to, it's amazing how it can control you so much
alright geoff,just wondring hows things are for you,good i hope.am entering my 6wk. of no gear or benzos.was goin thru some books today&heard the distinctive sound of foil in one opened it and hey presto ,some gear on the foil that i must have forgotten about ages back,mate i was so tempted,stared at it for about 5mins&then threw it away,it could have gone either way,but i was on some kind of auto pilot&chucked it.regretted it then after a while,but it was gone so feel good about that.it was like it was some kind of test,but passed it.its a bleedin battle mate but i won,just wanted to tell someone.geoff the wknd. is here,no work for a cple. of days so am gonna check the footie out[i know you hate it],r you up to much?post back mate however things are,over the wknd.take care&all the best as ever.....davey
Yes, it's a constant battle alright. With a million skirmishes. But with every one won, it gets a little easier I think.
Way To Go Davey!!!
Beck
Way To Go Davey!!!
Beck
Geo, and Davey, and all......just wanted to say a hey, and good on ya all for fighting.......I'm usually in a light mood.....most always, but even after two years it just takes a small thing......little thing, and it's like the domino's....ya know ya see em make on TV like stretch for miles, and they hit that one, and BAM.
It's good you're all being honest too.......absolutely.........so what do you all do over there when we do our Fourth of July?
Maybe I'll post that...don't see Robbie or Em's or Trooper or nobody tonight....hope y'all get a wink of sleep.
Hang tough all y'all.........be like that Rooney fellow ya got on your football.....he's quite a scrapper I guess ya'd call him......here we'd say ummmm
thug like......LOL....oi, oi, oi........nighty night.
It's good you're all being honest too.......absolutely.........so what do you all do over there when we do our Fourth of July?
Maybe I'll post that...don't see Robbie or Em's or Trooper or nobody tonight....hope y'all get a wink of sleep.
Hang tough all y'all.........be like that Rooney fellow ya got on your football.....he's quite a scrapper I guess ya'd call him......here we'd say ummmm
thug like......LOL....oi, oi, oi........nighty night.
just to say thanks to brynn&you becks who have been a constant source of help,you brynn for your madcap ways&beck for your kind words&support.going to the playground shortly with Sian,swings and roundabouts eh.all the best to you all&thanks a mill....davey.p.s brynn you got it right with the boy Rooney he is a scrapper for sure,i think our Robbie is on tenterhooks at the mo.with the match coming up,anyway talk soon Davey.
