Hope things are goin o.k..for ya..just thought id start another thread for me..you..and anyone else knockin about.Thought the Crystal one might depress a few folks.16wks..mate thats sound...well done...pity bout yer mate back at it but you know what a sly drug it is.You got a 6yr.old girl..well the connections never cease coz ive got a 7yr.old..daughter....just me&her with a bit of help from my mum..God bless her.Up at 6am tomm.gotta go get my methd.takeaway....i have to go to Dublin for it&i live in a smallish town bout 2hrs.away.....so its in give my sample..take my dose&get my bottles...and get the f*** outta Dodge pronto...less temptation in any form...coz i was a big benzo gobbler as well as using for many yrs.&theres plenty of both round the clinic even at 8.30am
Take care Wicki...all the best ......Davey
Would love to meet up for a coffee with ya at some stage wen you're up in Dublin. I know you're always anxious to get back out of the place so won't be offended if you say no! I know you're on a tight time frame to get your bus too so don't think about it too much.
Either before the 8th or at the end of January whichever suits you. I'd like to get some tips from you on staying away from itl Do you go to meetings Davey? I've tried one or two as I mentioned in previous posts but they don't seem to be for me, although I can't do it on my own either.. I've never been a good talker (as in honest talking) so maybe that's why I didn't feel comfortable at the meetings. My experience at the Detox Centre (St. Michael's in Beaumont) wasn't great either as I have already told you so all in all it just didn't add up for me.
My local chemist is open tomorrow so it's fish oils and amino acids for me. My stomach is still really bad so I'm gonna get some immodium or motillum to see if they'll settle it. I know I'm a moan but it's this feeling of unbearable tiredness that gets to me - even the thoughts of getting dressed just kills. This lasted for over the month the last time, I thought it would be easier this time as I was only back on the crap a short while - the things we tell ourselves, eh! It has to get better, it can't get any worse that's what I keep telling myself anyway..
If ure up at 6am to get to Dublin for 8.30 no doubt you won't be reading this till you get home. I know what you mean about things being accessable around the clinic it always looks like a hive of activity whenever 'm drivnig by. I don't know whether you know or not but Kev and I don't actually mix with any of that, which might sound strange. None of our friends have a clue about our habits although in latter years I'm sure they're wondering what's going on. The death of my mum in July 05 kind of covered things up for me a good bit and slowly but surely over time I've isolated myself from my non using friends, leaving myself with pretty much no-one. I've learnt a start lesson that anyone Ive met who's involved with this isn't looking for friendship they're just looking to see what they can get from you - sad really. I miss my mates, but I think they've all given up on me coz anytime they call to arrange a night out I'm wriggling my way out of it. I just feel so false sometimes sitting in the midst of them and thinking if they only knew what it takes for me to feel comfortable and able to communicate they'd be horrified.
I had the best Christmas ever, although I was feeling really bad, I spent the eve up in my sisters and the same on the day itself, saw all the aunties and uncles and long lost cousins that I haven't seen in years. The best bit ever though was the twins faces when they saw what Santa had left under the tree, they just didn't know where to begin - god how I wish I was her (my sister) sometimes, but then we all have our crosses to bear.
As always, head up - you're an inspiration. And that's one lucky little girl you've got in your care - but no doubt she knows that.
LOL.
Either before the 8th or at the end of January whichever suits you. I'd like to get some tips from you on staying away from itl Do you go to meetings Davey? I've tried one or two as I mentioned in previous posts but they don't seem to be for me, although I can't do it on my own either.. I've never been a good talker (as in honest talking) so maybe that's why I didn't feel comfortable at the meetings. My experience at the Detox Centre (St. Michael's in Beaumont) wasn't great either as I have already told you so all in all it just didn't add up for me.
My local chemist is open tomorrow so it's fish oils and amino acids for me. My stomach is still really bad so I'm gonna get some immodium or motillum to see if they'll settle it. I know I'm a moan but it's this feeling of unbearable tiredness that gets to me - even the thoughts of getting dressed just kills. This lasted for over the month the last time, I thought it would be easier this time as I was only back on the crap a short while - the things we tell ourselves, eh! It has to get better, it can't get any worse that's what I keep telling myself anyway..
If ure up at 6am to get to Dublin for 8.30 no doubt you won't be reading this till you get home. I know what you mean about things being accessable around the clinic it always looks like a hive of activity whenever 'm drivnig by. I don't know whether you know or not but Kev and I don't actually mix with any of that, which might sound strange. None of our friends have a clue about our habits although in latter years I'm sure they're wondering what's going on. The death of my mum in July 05 kind of covered things up for me a good bit and slowly but surely over time I've isolated myself from my non using friends, leaving myself with pretty much no-one. I've learnt a start lesson that anyone Ive met who's involved with this isn't looking for friendship they're just looking to see what they can get from you - sad really. I miss my mates, but I think they've all given up on me coz anytime they call to arrange a night out I'm wriggling my way out of it. I just feel so false sometimes sitting in the midst of them and thinking if they only knew what it takes for me to feel comfortable and able to communicate they'd be horrified.
I had the best Christmas ever, although I was feeling really bad, I spent the eve up in my sisters and the same on the day itself, saw all the aunties and uncles and long lost cousins that I haven't seen in years. The best bit ever though was the twins faces when they saw what Santa had left under the tree, they just didn't know where to begin - god how I wish I was her (my sister) sometimes, but then we all have our crosses to bear.
As always, head up - you're an inspiration. And that's one lucky little girl you've got in your care - but no doubt she knows that.
LOL.
Hows things ..Lou..?..hope yer feeling a bit better..its gonna be slow but well worth it in the end.Coffee?sounds good...the end of Jan.would suit me better but yep its a date ..if ya know what i mean...our American friends might think weve got sumthin goin on..L.O.L.
Meetings...never been to one...it wasnt that i had any misconceptions bout them they just werent on offer or didnt suit with my daughter..etc....i get ya bought yer previous experiences with rehab&meetings...some folk think ya gotta come from a corpo estate to have a habit...narrow minds etc.
I had a few sessions with a drugs couciller(sp)down here which were o.k..but i found myself sometimes educating her bout the ways of us addicts.Down here they are just getting their lil heads round the fact that they have got a heroin epidemic..in nearly every town in the country.I could make a call&have my bag within the hr.if i wanted....but the 1st.thing i realised as im sure you know is keep away from all triggers or contacts..to do with gear...once i had done that it very slowly got easier..to say nope..am rambling now.Take care&just think of yer trip to Spain..not long now..all the best to ya both......Davey
Meetings...never been to one...it wasnt that i had any misconceptions bout them they just werent on offer or didnt suit with my daughter..etc....i get ya bought yer previous experiences with rehab&meetings...some folk think ya gotta come from a corpo estate to have a habit...narrow minds etc.
I had a few sessions with a drugs couciller(sp)down here which were o.k..but i found myself sometimes educating her bout the ways of us addicts.Down here they are just getting their lil heads round the fact that they have got a heroin epidemic..in nearly every town in the country.I could make a call&have my bag within the hr.if i wanted....but the 1st.thing i realised as im sure you know is keep away from all triggers or contacts..to do with gear...once i had done that it very slowly got easier..to say nope..am rambling now.Take care&just think of yer trip to Spain..not long now..all the best to ya both......Davey
