Hubby's Lortab Addiction

Hello everyone, I have been reading everyone's messages and they have hit me so close to home. My husband had 2 major back surgeries and become addicted to lortabs the first time and realized it, went in to detox and then stayed off of them for 6 months with lots of depression along with it but we survived....he then injured hisself again and had to have another surgery and it started all over again, because he didnt open his mouth to the doctor that he should'nt take them, but as my husband says you'll do anything not to have that kind of pain....well anyway he is still using, he has a pain management doctor that gives him 60 lortabs a month, but of course he takes those up in 3-4 days and then spends all of our money looking for them and buying them illegally......we are broke.....my question to whomever can help me answer this for me, those of you who have become addicted because of pain, I mean aggonizing pain, what do you do for the pain after becoming free from the narcotic pills....Do you just deal with it along with lots of depression or what do you do????My husband seems to think this is the only drug that helps his pain, so what i have learned is that he is physically addicted as well as physcological....please write if you have some answers for me...Thanks
Bama, I read your last post to me. I think that methadone isno better. I have a neighbor who has been on it for five years. So, I can't see where that is helping. I guess I need to try to detox on my own. I don't know what else to do. I have seen a new med. and am thinking of contacting a dr. about it.
If you have any other ideas, let me please know.
Huney
Im screaming for help here, I'm ready for divorce, this situation is no better!!!! What should I do, keep on hanging there or get out......?????the sad thing is, is that I'm broke because of him, Don't have anywhere to go except my mother's, I own my on home, I hate to move the kids, but he's not gonna leave, no of course not, he's got it made, Narcotics and a home, what more could he ask for, a home to which he doesn't worry about paying for, I DO, I worry about it all.....Come on people give me some words of wisdom!!!!!!Thanks
I don't know about words of wisdom but, I can share my experience. I am an addict. while using I am unaware of what is going on around me. As addicts we do not consider ourselves addicted as long as we can stop for awhile. Our disease wants us to be issolated from the outside world. Your husband is scared. The pain is real. Until he gets help detox and treatment the pain will not go away. I can promise you this. I have had 13 surgeries and detox more than once. Every single time I went back it was for justified pain. The thing is that once your are an addict this does not go away. So, when pain is real the only way to not go into full blown addiction is to have a doctor who knows the truth and even then a true adict can manipulate the doctors so, unless your husband is ready to take a risk and be honest there is nothing you can do. Go to an Alanon meeting there you will find your answers. I also spent all the money and did not care. Nothing will come before pills until you get honest and get help!!!!! The good news is there is hope I am now clean and things are looking up for us. I am still not able to touch the money but, this is a good thing.
Dear Bama,
While reading your post, I noticed yours was quite similiar to mine. Although my husbund didn't become addicted to pain pills due to any surgerys, but he had always complained of back pain etc.. His brother introduced his first one and then he became on a downhill slide from then on. It took two years for it to become completely apparent, and me realizing and excepting all that had been happening before my eyes. Money spent on pain pills, street value (very expensive). All the lies, all the weird and crazy mood swings ( I often cried feeling I wasn't doing my job as a good wife should). It had got so bad he became a completely different person a complete monster. And on top of it all, now he constantly complained of stomach pain, feeling sick with cold like symptoms. Enormous headaches, uncontrollable itching at times, sneezing fits, sleeping for hours and hours, and then those days he simply didn't sleep at all. This opposed to a bit of a back pain problem. I had been married to this man for 17 years, and always loved his free will and participation in all family gatherings (he loved them) His highlight of them was getting all together to play vollyball, baseball etc.. He was the lite of everyones day. We had purchased our home and had a life of great accomplishment, expecially considering neither of us went past the 8th grade and had our first child at 15 me and him 14. But this person I had grown up with, this person who was always there for me, always my guide, always working with me on future plans, this person had completely left. Dissapeared. When the second year of his addiction rolled around, and I finally had both eyes open, and his family and I spent many hours discussing his problem, did he even admit that he even had a tiny problem. He wouldn't leave, Like you stated why would they, the house was paid for, no worries of living on the street etc...I couldn't go anywhere, the kids were in school with all there peers and in all the school sports etc. I tried to have him put out by police, but that was a deadend. He just layed around and would do good for a few days and boom right back to square one. I begged him to leave and to quit putting me-more importantly the kids thru this. I wanted to help but it had to be him wanting to change before anyone could do anything. I didn't know what else to do, so I filed for a divorce, he laughed. I started going to Alanon meetings. I started working on me. I would lay magazines, news articles, books of drug addiction types all over the place. Everyone who called him, that may or may not have had anything to do with selling him pills, I would get on other phone lines and told them I was turning them in to police. I went around talking to other abusers, trying to tell them to get help and put the word out that I was a narc, to steer clear of my husbund because I was crazy and have them put in jail. Including sadly, but family members. ( a few times this was a bit of a danger to myself) and now realize that this wasn't a very good course of action. If I found pills, I would put them in a cup of bleach, and when he would ask for a cup of coffeee I would hand him his cup of bleached pills. I refused to do any of his laundry, prepare anything for him. I went about as if he didn't exist. He still pretended things were fine and as long as he had his pills he didn't much mind what was happening to us, our children. I snooped constantly, kept him on edge of new places to hide them, because i would bleach them if I found them. One day while he was at work, I had sent the kids away for a couple days, and then started on a project which had some great impact. I took a black poster board and had put pictures of ppl smoking crack, sugar to look like lines of coke, a couple of his pain pills with one crushed and in a line. Cut up straws, rolled money. Pictures of oxycontin, vicodin, percocets, xanax and anything ugly concerning drugs i could think of. Along this board I put words in ugly type lettering of Hate, lies, deceit, pain, gross, death, and other words I felt went with drug abuse. On the other side of the table I put pictures of the kids, and difference of things they had made him over the years. Fathers day cards, I love yous to dad etc Then I made pretty cards with the words of Love, hope, help, compassion, and words I felt pertained to getting help etc.. I then took a picture of him and put it in the middle of these two worlds. I had a bullet, a gun and some string tied to look like a nuse. When he came home, he fell to his knees and cried. I had him sit next to the black board while I took pictures of the kids and placed them beside different things on the black board and ask him which one meant more to him? Which one of these drugs did he choose over his son, daughter? Which one of these drugs gave him more satisfaction and completeness than his child? I told him that these nasty and lieing drugs were not worth their love, me, most importantly himself. (read drug abusers stories, they are miserable and everyday wish to not be one, hate and loath thereselves) He was upset by me even putting my childs picture by these drugs. There picture near them made him cringe. I also ask him which drug did he think his child was gonna like? Which one did he choose for one of them to be hooked on? Of course he cried saying to shut up, that that was stupid. But I reminded him we as parents are role models and we show them what is right and wrong. And that he was showing them that drug abuse was OK as long as you worked and somewhat did your duties as a father. I then took the nuse and put it around his picture, and told him the husbund I had the person he was, was dead. And then gave him the bullet, I told him the bullet was all the drugs thats been controlling him. Then I gave him the gun, and told him to either leave and let us be, or end his pain he is inflickting on us all. Of course he cried and told me I was out of control. I then told him that by his choice and his choice only, he could get help and end all our suffering, most importantly his own suffering. Theres a lot more to this story, but I have written a book already. I havent got the exact right answer, but one answer I can promise can help and helped me tremendous, and that was alanon. Believing in myself, realizing I can not fix anyone but me. That he doesnt have to change to make me happy, but I did have to change myself, my way of thinking to make myself happy(as much as I wanted him in my life and wanted him to do better, it was me and me only who could make me happy). It has been over a year since that day and we are still together. Things have changed and he made some changes tremendous changes. Some days I drive him nuts with being suspicious and snoopy. I drive myself crazy at times doing this. But things will never be as they once were before these destroying and deceitfull lieing drugs. I still go to meetings from time to time, read and come to places like this to keep me strong. Sorry for such a long post. God Bless and good luck.
Dear TheresHope,
Thankyou so much for writing me, you have inspired me in so many ways, you are so right, I have to work on me.....I looked for your name in all the posts but didnt see it, so i hope you log back on and hit my name so you can read this....my husband called me from work yesterday and said he was ready to go back into detox, but i will have to see it to believe it, I told him that he had to be true to hisself, I also told him that this will be the last time that i could deal with this issue, that if he didnt really really try this time that he would have to leave....my mental capacity cant take anymore, it's hard on the me and my kids when he does this time and time again and then relapses.....your story is so familiar to mine, i have just about done it all but cut the pictures out with the kids next to the drugs.....you have been a true inspiration for me and i know now what i have to do to conquer this.....I'm so glad your marriage surrvived this and I wish you and your husband the best of luck, Im hoping for a little luck myself......please write me back to let me know you read this post
p.s. have you noticed that all of he talk shows have been about husbands and wives being addicted to something.....that is all i have done all week is watch dr. phill and oprah trying to figure this out, but your story topped it all....write back when you have time