Good morning everyone, hope you all have a great day!!
Well, last night my H brought home a big bottle of white wine,along with dinner he bbq'ed at his parents place. I was very happy about dinner, but definetely upset about the wine, that used to be one of my favourite drinks! He then asked me if I wanted a glass!!! I couldn't believe it!! I looked right at him and said no thank-you, my glass of coke is just fine!! what a insensitive jerk!! He had already been drinking, and then wanted to "talk" about some issues we are having, and I know all to well where that would go after him having a few so I said "There will be no discussing our problems while you have been drinking, and this goes for now and in the future" of course he got upset, and I knew he would, but after about 20 minutes I guess he thought about it and knew I was right. We watched a movie and then after the movie I went to bed, I didn't want to give him another opportunity to start in on me, I honestly didn't need that last night, I have been so stressed and just so exhausted, and he knows better than to ask me if I want A glass of wine! for goodness sake he knows first hand the outcome, and he is the one who has told me over and over again not to drink, so what's up with that!! oh I tell ya, god give me the strength..
love you guys!!!
lovedove
Hey Lovedove:) sometimes the new person emerging from the alcohol haze can scare partners and they start to think hey what the hell the drunk model i knew and could understand and in some cases control, this new version scares me they are not shouting anymore or buying into arguing and they are thinking for themselves etc etc.
We are not the only ones that suffer from fear and now we have an outlet, he only has you as his fear outlet and you are doing major changes with your life via drinking and spirituality.
Keep up the progress Lovedove and keep remembering to be in gods light when around people who want to steal your energy.
Light and love Zac
We are not the only ones that suffer from fear and now we have an outlet, he only has you as his fear outlet and you are doing major changes with your life via drinking and spirituality.
Keep up the progress Lovedove and keep remembering to be in gods light when around people who want to steal your energy.
Light and love Zac
Liz, just wanted to say its great that you told him that there will be no discussion when he is drinking, and that you refused the wine. Maybe he will learn from your example as you keep setting it for him. Keep showing him what a strong woman you are and don't let him get to you, keep rising above. Love ya girl...
Hi there CB and Zac! Thanks for your support, My H has been such a jerk this past month, I honestly don't know how much longer we will be together, He hasn't supported me in anything that is going on in my life, my Dad, my job, my alcoholism, notta thing, zero.. it bothers me that he can be so cold like this but Zac I am taking your advice and just surrounding myself with God's white light and praying lots! What ever will be will be!! Tired again tonight, I fell asleep for 2 hours after work today, and still feel like I could sleep more, but I have soooo much to do, I'll sign off for the night, hope you both are keeping well, and thanks again for being here!!
Lots of love and hugs,
Liz :)
Lots of love and hugs,
Liz :)
Hey Liz, I can totally relate to where your Husband is coming from.
When My husband stopped drinking I found that he was not nearly as interesting as he used to be!.
I don't think I was very supportive of him, we had a really tough year and I thought that I would leave.
it is so hard to support someone when you are scared that they will get better then leave you behind.
Does your Husband have a drinking problem?
This could be another reason that he wants you to drink, that way he does not have to deal with his own issues. For me, I was very controlling and even though I wanted my Husband to stop drinking, I liked the control that it gave me.
Just a thought.
Karen
When My husband stopped drinking I found that he was not nearly as interesting as he used to be!.
I don't think I was very supportive of him, we had a really tough year and I thought that I would leave.
it is so hard to support someone when you are scared that they will get better then leave you behind.
Does your Husband have a drinking problem?
This could be another reason that he wants you to drink, that way he does not have to deal with his own issues. For me, I was very controlling and even though I wanted my Husband to stop drinking, I liked the control that it gave me.
Just a thought.
Karen
Does anyone remember that old country tune, "You Ain't Much Fun Since I Quit Drinkin'?" Just because we feel the desire and need to change doesn't mean everyone else is ready... At least, that's the stuff I'm trying to get my head around....
Hey skg I'll bite, I haven't sussed wether you are just taking the pi*s or stirring or both anyway there is such a thing as a partner being supportive and not adding to the situation.
Some people in recovery cannot be around alcohol or anything associated with it and some people can.
As you are scanning the posts for bits you can bite on why don't you look at the similaritys.
I know plenty of people sober through AA and just by not drinking anymore and the reason they are still sober is because they have gratitude and don't mind giving it away positively.
Whatever is working for someone positively in the long run is good.
Light and love Zac
Some people in recovery cannot be around alcohol or anything associated with it and some people can.
As you are scanning the posts for bits you can bite on why don't you look at the similaritys.
I know plenty of people sober through AA and just by not drinking anymore and the reason they are still sober is because they have gratitude and don't mind giving it away positively.
Whatever is working for someone positively in the long run is good.
Light and love Zac
:I haven't sussed wether you are just taking the pi*s or stirring or both
Well, I don't speak Australian, but that IS an actual published song. Well, it's country music, anyway... :)
:Some people in recovery cannot be around alcohol or anything associated with it
I don't need to be schooled on addictions--got some of my own.
:they have gratitude and don't mind giving it away positively.
Does that mean there's no room for a sense of humor? Some people deal with adversity in a different manner and diversity in a group is usually a good thing.
Are you the patriarch of this forum?
Well, I don't speak Australian, but that IS an actual published song. Well, it's country music, anyway... :)
:Some people in recovery cannot be around alcohol or anything associated with it
I don't need to be schooled on addictions--got some of my own.
:they have gratitude and don't mind giving it away positively.
Does that mean there's no room for a sense of humor? Some people deal with adversity in a different manner and diversity in a group is usually a good thing.
Are you the patriarch of this forum?
Woooho Hey Skg I see your sense of humour pretty good brother.LOL
Good thing you don't understand Australian because i don't either, I'm actually from New Zealand so have a shot at that, I've heard all the sheep jokes.
A sense of humour is great and when you can laugh with somebody.
I don't claim to be anything on this thread just zac thats all but hey i bet patriarch wasn't your first choice of titles for me LMAO Come on you have got to admit that is funny, did i even get a smile.
At the end of the day i didn't see the humour in your answer that you say is there so my apologies for not being more observant.:)
Skg i look forward to your posts
Light, love and laughter too
Just Zac
Good thing you don't understand Australian because i don't either, I'm actually from New Zealand so have a shot at that, I've heard all the sheep jokes.
A sense of humour is great and when you can laugh with somebody.
I don't claim to be anything on this thread just zac thats all but hey i bet patriarch wasn't your first choice of titles for me LMAO Come on you have got to admit that is funny, did i even get a smile.
At the end of the day i didn't see the humour in your answer that you say is there so my apologies for not being more observant.:)
Skg i look forward to your posts
Light, love and laughter too
Just Zac
I thought skg's post was funny and inoffensive.. don't think it was intended to get anyone's back up. Think Zac jumped to a bad conclusion that wasn't there but its good to see its all sorting itself out now. Don't think Zac pretends to be any kind of patriarch either though.
skg,
im just a looker on here, i find most of your posts, well like your a jerk, negative etc, just my thoughts,
pete
im just a looker on here, i find most of your posts, well like your a jerk, negative etc, just my thoughts,
pete
Zac, thanks for making me laugh, I needed that!
Well, luckily, in the space that *I* live everyone's entitled to their opinions and, as long as anonymity is a safe place for cowardice, I stand by my own thoughts. I love that people here aren't judgemental--even the anonymous ones.
:)
Relax--it's JUST the internet!
Thanks, Zac. It isn't my intention to offend anyone. Just expressing my opinions and thoughts. As far as I know it's still legal (unlike a lot of stuff I've done...)...
;)
:)
Relax--it's JUST the internet!
Thanks, Zac. It isn't my intention to offend anyone. Just expressing my opinions and thoughts. As far as I know it's still legal (unlike a lot of stuff I've done...)...
;)
