mommycooper5@aol.comhusband is serious addict that becomes MONSTER when is without the smoke. he becomes violent and threatening and calls names, throws stones at ANYTHNG i do or do not do according to his idea of the "perfect wife". have 2 samll children with him and is a very loving gentle man as long as he has the smoke. he is in COMPLETE denial that teh reason for his temper tantrum are form his addiction and there have been times i have said to him, LOOK, jsut go get it cause I CANNOT deal with that demon in you when you are without it. i realize this makes me his enabler, however, how on earth can ANYONE FREAK OUT to the point of being that MANIACAL when without the smoke, and no, it isnt another drug, been there with other people and know the signs, etc... he works long 12 hr days every day and is otherwise a very honest, good man. family onboth sides love him dearly and mother in law is like this, pray about it and it will all go away. i am dealing with the reality of the hell tho each and every day and it does become costly after a certain point. the more he has, the more he smokes, etc.... no, leaving him is NOT an optin, nowhere to go, no family close to us, etc... i am a stay at home mother HELP HELP HELP
what are you willing to do if not leave him? maybe seek professional advice either thru a spousal abuse center or al anon type service. sounds like more issues going on above and beyond marijuana abuse, of course that is bad enough in itself.
you are talking to a 49 yr old man with 2 kids a wife that i have been helping move out the last 2 wks. i am just like your husband. i have smoked since 17 could never control the rage in my marrage. have stopped smokeing for 1 month but it is to late never new that the anger was from pot until she was leaveing and reading posts on site.dont get me wrong, im sure the pot isnt the only thing that has made me feel like this .but i can see what it has done to me and my family.i have put it ahead of everything. i only wish i could talk to your husband because he doesnt no what hes doing and going to lose.he will end up alone crying in the basement thinking what happined.but it has to be pointed out to him some how. i feel for you and your kids.because right now im sitting a big house getting ready to move to another house 2 blocks from my wife on good well not that good of terms.i missed out on so many things, and so will he if hes doesnt get help.you also need help.i can sense how scared you are and nobody to turn to. my wife was the same thats why she left. i can only hope you find someboby to tell him. the high from life, family and the your luv out wieghts anything he can get high on.because you only get so many chances.and his are about to run out.all the best ,i only wish i could help MARK
Just a note to you --- the rage from mj doesn't affect all users that way... but my beautiful, 27 year old daughter has changed from a lovely caring person to a mean, hateful, caustic person and has cut all ties from her family.
I wish I could help you .. I feel the only way is to let him know you will not tolerate his addiction any more -- get him some help.
Be strong -- pray -- you will find a way to help him.
Go on to the forum for families of addicts here -- there are some great posts.
God Bless You.
Susan Jean
I wish I could help you .. I feel the only way is to let him know you will not tolerate his addiction any more -- get him some help.
Be strong -- pray -- you will find a way to help him.
Go on to the forum for families of addicts here -- there are some great posts.
God Bless You.
Susan Jean
mommycooper5@aol.com wowow !! thank you so much to all whom responded. I DID indeed confront him the other night and he became MONSTROUS, this was right after he had smoked, silly me I was thinknig I could feel safe and he might "go easy" since he had smoked.... NOT the case, altho the tantrum wasnt as severe and didnt last long at all. DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL. he responded by throwing stones at me and how much I wasnt doing right and how I "always bring up the same f...ng thing" and how he "knows that he isnt the crazy one, that he smokes to take his mind off of the fact he works so hard and he deserves it since he is such a provider"... O M G omg omg omg omg!! I cant stand it.. this is NUTS.. looked in phone book for local alanon mertings i can attend and told him i was going to do that and he just said, "good, you need it then, if you think you have a problem." GO FIGURE. anyway, i AM proactive and intend whole-heartedly on pursuing a better way of life for me and my kids, i refuse to tolerate this much longer. i jsut pray each night that god touches him and comforts him in the direction best for him and, God willing, that direction is the sober one. ill let u all no, ty again for your comforting. god bless
My husband was a drinker and I had the same thing as you were going through, he would tell me that I was mental and that there was nothing wrong with him and everything wrong with me.
I went to Alanon, I had to go to a few different meetings until I found one that I was comfortable with. I learned so much, I totally changed the way I was toward him, I was tought loving detatchment.
My Hubby still drinks on occassion, though not nearly as much or as badly as he did. But I have a whole new view on it now. I have learned to take care of myself without sacrificing my life, which otherwise was great.
Good luck to you.
Keep coming back.
Karen
I went to Alanon, I had to go to a few different meetings until I found one that I was comfortable with. I learned so much, I totally changed the way I was toward him, I was tought loving detatchment.
My Hubby still drinks on occassion, though not nearly as much or as badly as he did. But I have a whole new view on it now. I have learned to take care of myself without sacrificing my life, which otherwise was great.
Good luck to you.
Keep coming back.
Karen
cdc ,
I am a recovering opiate addict and I am very sad about your situation. If not for the grace of God that could be me.....
That being said, it is very obvious that your husband is not going to try recovery. So what are you going to do about you? What are you going to do for your children?
I hate to be harsh, but leaving him IS an option. Do you want your children to be constantly exposed to that verbal/emotional abuse? Do you want your children to think that using drugs is an acceptable way of dealing with life? Because, by staying there the way things are at present, that is EXACTLY the message you are saying!!!! Period!!!
And what you mother-in-law is saying is stupid and in complete denial. Prayer alone won't do it. God steers the boat, but God doesn't do the rowing for you. That little baby of hers needs to grow up...NOW.
Children that are raised in violent, drug abusing homes are FAR more likely to repeat those same behaviors. To stop that, the circle must be broken. If your husband won't, then you must do it.
You do have my sympathy, but to get my respect, you have to do something about this. AlAnon is great, set some rules, boundaries. No drugs in the house. Don't let him spend your money on drugs. Demand honesty.
If he refuses, LEAVE. The way he is acting now, you don't have much of a husband anyways...
I am a recovering opiate addict and I am very sad about your situation. If not for the grace of God that could be me.....
That being said, it is very obvious that your husband is not going to try recovery. So what are you going to do about you? What are you going to do for your children?
I hate to be harsh, but leaving him IS an option. Do you want your children to be constantly exposed to that verbal/emotional abuse? Do you want your children to think that using drugs is an acceptable way of dealing with life? Because, by staying there the way things are at present, that is EXACTLY the message you are saying!!!! Period!!!
And what you mother-in-law is saying is stupid and in complete denial. Prayer alone won't do it. God steers the boat, but God doesn't do the rowing for you. That little baby of hers needs to grow up...NOW.
Children that are raised in violent, drug abusing homes are FAR more likely to repeat those same behaviors. To stop that, the circle must be broken. If your husband won't, then you must do it.
You do have my sympathy, but to get my respect, you have to do something about this. AlAnon is great, set some rules, boundaries. No drugs in the house. Don't let him spend your money on drugs. Demand honesty.
If he refuses, LEAVE. The way he is acting now, you don't have much of a husband anyways...
My husband is also a serious weed addict and has been for years and years. He started when he was about 15 and is now 38. The pot led to other worse drugs. I am getting ready to throw in the towel. I want a better life for me and my daughter. And I do NOT want my daughter to believe that this way of life is ok. She's already at risk to become an addict just b/c it's in the genes. I will do anything I can to save her from a life of addiction when she is older. And I need to do something to find happiness again. This life is certainly not making me happy.
mommycooper5@aol.com boy, do i ever have news!!!! HE stopped SMOKING !!! wohoooooooooo!! clean for 5 days and growing !! his temperment is not so shabby, and is telling me that he is scared about losing me and the kids if he doesnt "fix it". Please keep the prayers coming and thank you all for your support. God Bless.............im not stupid, just full of faith and hope.
I used to get maniacal without pot too.
I pulled a knife out on my husband and tried to jump out of a moving car.
I was self medicating bipolar II disorder with marijuana.
After the knife and car incident, I checked myself into the psych ward and found my proper medication.
I still miss weed because it seemed to lift me out of reality where I didn't have to worry about my problems for a couple hours (or less). On my meds now, I no longer get maniacal even though I am facing my problems.
I pulled a knife out on my husband and tried to jump out of a moving car.
I was self medicating bipolar II disorder with marijuana.
After the knife and car incident, I checked myself into the psych ward and found my proper medication.
I still miss weed because it seemed to lift me out of reality where I didn't have to worry about my problems for a couple hours (or less). On my meds now, I no longer get maniacal even though I am facing my problems.
