Hi I just found this board today, My husband has been fighting this addiction for 15 years, We got married almost 2 years (in Aug) he was Sober for almost 2 years when I married him,He was doing great and one day in Jan.2003 he relapsed. It has been a fight everyday since. He 9 months ago disappeared for 3days,He vowed he would stop. He went the drug awareness,meetings and most of all church.Everything was going great for 8 months he stopped going to his meetings we stopped going to church and just this past weekend he relasped again.He ran out of gas about 5:30 in the morning on Sunday and called me to go get him.So I didn't want to but I did.He said he was going to go to a meeting and call his sponser he didn't.He said he will go tomorrow night because that is his favorite meeting,He is feeling guilty and depressed, I try to talk to him I think he needs to go to rehab, Im scared because he might loose his job, but if this doesnt stop he will anyway.I have so much to loose, I have 2 children from a previous marriage ( He was a alocholic) I thought I was moving up because he was Sober I didn't know anything about this I have never done any drugs in my life on a regular basis Ive tried pot I will be honest when I was in highschool.I didn';t find it anything I would want to do again.I do drink wine occasionally.I even stopped that for him.I want to be supportive, I've read so much on this I know that it is a sickness if it was cancer I would stay to help.I want to help him,I want to stay with him but,I dont know how much more I can take,I lay awake when he leaves and worry all night I try to call his cell but if he wont answer it I know what he is doing, Ive confided in my friends they all say leave him.I want to do the right thing I love him with all my heart,he had a counselor he just loved and she quit the drug awarenss program and then so did he.I went with him to the program and talked with her and the head guy.He didn't like the program and said he could do it on his own, I knew then he couldn't but I cant seem to make him go to meetings, He blames me and says i give him a hard time with the meetings, I dont I swear, I dont like him leaving me but I know he has to go.I dont even say that to him, I hide how I feel about it because I just want him to get better.I fel like I am fighting a loosing battle here.I am really scared, My friends are just telling me to leave he wont ever be able to stop ,He loves the drug more than me,I dont want to believe that but, How could he choose it over me everytime.His family doesnt help me they wrote him off years ago,He was doing so great I thought.I always made a huge deal about each month he stayed sober.I always tell him how proud I was, I even made him cakes each month to celebrate.I did get him to go to church Sunday and I prayed and prayed for help.He is such a wonderful man this is the only draw back he loves my kids they love him, I dont want to loose him,Is there a answer for us? Please!!!!
My husband stuck with me every step of the way!!! He stood by my side, every step of the way even though he was mad, hurt, and confused! He, like you, never did drugs and didn't understand!
He helped me immensly! Losing him would've been devestating but not enough to hurt my cleanliness!!
Stick by his side but, insist he go to some kind of rehabilitation! My husband randomly drug tested me also! He told me one dirty test and he was gone!! I was very scared of losing him.....and still am! I will fight tooth and nail for myself and my family!!! But, I wanted it!!!! I wanted to get better!! Your husband will run until he's ready to stop running and there's no rehab, counselor, or therapist that can help him! It's got to come from within!
Good luck, Sweetie!
He helped me immensly! Losing him would've been devestating but not enough to hurt my cleanliness!!
Stick by his side but, insist he go to some kind of rehabilitation! My husband randomly drug tested me also! He told me one dirty test and he was gone!! I was very scared of losing him.....and still am! I will fight tooth and nail for myself and my family!!! But, I wanted it!!!! I wanted to get better!! Your husband will run until he's ready to stop running and there's no rehab, counselor, or therapist that can help him! It's got to come from within!
Good luck, Sweetie!
Thank you .You have givin me some hope,I cryed like a baby after I read your post.I feel like Im so alone, None of my friends support me staying.I just pray constantly for help.You said he tested you,How did he do that? Is there a test you can get?I have to stick to my guns I treatened to leave if it happens again.I don't want to.He only uses once then he will go for 6 weeks and then he will relapse.Then go months he doesnt use everyday.The drug awareness said he is the hardest type of addict to cure.Im just broken hearted.I feel helpless. I want to help him, I want to stand by him, But I have 2 beautiful children I have to put first.He promised me he would go to a meeting tomorrow night and then I will go to whatever open meetings I can with him.like I said I have the kids to watch when he goes, but my one friend will watch them so I can go too.I need to understand as much as I can.Im really glad I found this board.I can finally talk about it, My family doesnt know about this last time,I cant hurt them anymore.They were so proud of him.My mom loves him like he was her own son and it would break her heart to see me so sad.I want to talk to her more than anything but, She cant take the stress of it.
Thank you so much for listening.
Thank you so much for listening.
Hello Kim!
Let me begin by saying that you have a heart of pure gold! I was amazed at how loving, devoted, encouraging and hopefull you are! Absolutely amazing in the face of such adversity...
Use that incredible strength you have to overcome this problem. Don't be a pushover though... Tell him what is at stake and don't hide from your true feelings. Be lovingly truthful with him. Tell him how you feel and only then can you stand on firmer, decision-making ground. But I don't think you should go on like this... In the mean time, my prayers are with you.
Good luck & God Bless you!
JC
Let me begin by saying that you have a heart of pure gold! I was amazed at how loving, devoted, encouraging and hopefull you are! Absolutely amazing in the face of such adversity...
Use that incredible strength you have to overcome this problem. Don't be a pushover though... Tell him what is at stake and don't hide from your true feelings. Be lovingly truthful with him. Tell him how you feel and only then can you stand on firmer, decision-making ground. But I don't think you should go on like this... In the mean time, my prayers are with you.
Good luck & God Bless you!
JC
Dear Lostsoul, Thank you .I am so glad I found this board. I want to go to counseling myself, But I can afford to pay 100 a session.I found one we both went to, My husband didnt feel comfortable with her, because she knew his boss. I want to ask my pastor if he knows anyone. I just dont want this getting out . He really is the perfect husband and father when this isnt in the picture.I know he cant help this I see the guilt he feels.I try to tell him when he gets a craving to call me but, he gets really ashamed and scared and he says he fights it with every ounce of his being.He had a horrible life, His father died when he was only 13 in a house fire. His ex-wife cheated on him after only 2 months of marriage , I was friends with him then, I've know him for 18 years. Ive seen all the pain he has gone trough. His mother died from cancer 3 years ago after a long 4 year fight.He has no siblings, And whatever family he has doesn't ever call him unless they want something.He feels like he has no one but me,My children call him daddy they love him so much, He is so wonderful with them he really wants a child of his own and if he gets better I would love to do that for him.Im just to scared now.He thinks it would fix him that he needs a child of his own to complete him.And I agree he would be a great father if he could just kick this.We had a rough night last night . I had a break down.I told him ifhe didnt go to meetings that it was over. I dont really want to leave him.But he has to know Im serious.I will if it donsent stop as much as it will hurt I have to.
We talked a lot he has a lot of deep issiues that I didnt even know about. And I thought he told me everything. I felt terrible for him.He hates the meetings, He said he has been talking tothe same people for 15 years and he was so proud he was at 8 months, So now it is back to sqaure one. He hates leaving the kids because they cry when he goes.And he hates leaving me. I dont like either I'll be honest but I dont tell him that.It sucks the whole disease just really is the worst thing ever.We will get throught this if it's the last thing I do. I am praying everyday. We are going back to church, And he promised he was going to a meeting tonight.So one day at a time.Thanks again. Kim
We talked a lot he has a lot of deep issiues that I didnt even know about. And I thought he told me everything. I felt terrible for him.He hates the meetings, He said he has been talking tothe same people for 15 years and he was so proud he was at 8 months, So now it is back to sqaure one. He hates leaving the kids because they cry when he goes.And he hates leaving me. I dont like either I'll be honest but I dont tell him that.It sucks the whole disease just really is the worst thing ever.We will get throught this if it's the last thing I do. I am praying everyday. We are going back to church, And he promised he was going to a meeting tonight.So one day at a time.Thanks again. Kim
Kim,
There are tests you can buy at your local drug store! They're about 30$! He made me pee in front of him so I couldn't alter the test in any way! But, like I said, it's got to come from him! He's got to want this.....for himself, you, and his family.
If he relapses, you need to get serious and get you and the kids away from him! Maybe, the "tough love" aspect will hit him harder than anything......good luck, stay positive, and stay strong for your children!!
Take care!
There are tests you can buy at your local drug store! They're about 30$! He made me pee in front of him so I couldn't alter the test in any way! But, like I said, it's got to come from him! He's got to want this.....for himself, you, and his family.
If he relapses, you need to get serious and get you and the kids away from him! Maybe, the "tough love" aspect will hit him harder than anything......good luck, stay positive, and stay strong for your children!!
Take care!
Hi Kim!
I think last night was a step in the right direction, as painfull as it may have been. Sometimes I feel like everyone in a particular situation should do the same thing to solve a problem. Sometimes I feel like there are other variables that make me doubt the advice I'm about to give. In most cases, I would say to people involved in a relationship with an addict to end it and run for their lives because the odds are so overwhelmingly against them. But I think you've got what it takes to overcome these odds. I feel like you're one of the ones that's going to make it!
The situation you're in is so dangerous because anytime you mix drugs, kids and love together you've got a ticking time-bomb! You don't deserve this, but unfortunately it's in your hands... Defuse it with love, TOUGH love... If you feel yourself weaken, remember the love you have for your kids. Think of the life you want them to have and I'm sure you'll find the strength you need.
In the mean time I'll pray for you and yours everyday. Good luck again!
God Bless you!
JC
I think last night was a step in the right direction, as painfull as it may have been. Sometimes I feel like everyone in a particular situation should do the same thing to solve a problem. Sometimes I feel like there are other variables that make me doubt the advice I'm about to give. In most cases, I would say to people involved in a relationship with an addict to end it and run for their lives because the odds are so overwhelmingly against them. But I think you've got what it takes to overcome these odds. I feel like you're one of the ones that's going to make it!
The situation you're in is so dangerous because anytime you mix drugs, kids and love together you've got a ticking time-bomb! You don't deserve this, but unfortunately it's in your hands... Defuse it with love, TOUGH love... If you feel yourself weaken, remember the love you have for your kids. Think of the life you want them to have and I'm sure you'll find the strength you need.
In the mean time I'll pray for you and yours everyday. Good luck again!
God Bless you!
JC
Dear Kim,
Your posting takes the words right out of my mouth.. You described everything that i have been going through over the past year. My boyfriend sneaks off to do crack and spends every last dime he has on it.. He's even sold his belongings for it.. I just couldn't believe this was the same guy that helped with dinner, mowed the lawn and even helps do laundry.. I thought that maybe it was me and that i was driving him to do by mabye getting on his back about too many things or something but now i realize it's not me - it's his addiction.. I've too tried so many times to help him and to praise him when he's not doing crack.. I also have 2 kids from a previous relationship and they love him to death. I've kicked him out before and all they did was cry and blame me... I feel so much for them and there's nothing i can do.. I just know that i can't keep going on like this anymore. I can't keep going on 2 hours sleep up worrying about him all night because he takes off for days upon days at a time.. I don't want to get "that" phone call in the middle of the night saying he's dead or something. I know i hurt now but i think if i keep letting this go on then i'll be hurting for a LONG time and my kids will too. I think to myself that i can't let my son grow up thinking that staying out for days on end is the right thing to do and that is normal. I dont' want him growing up and doing it to someone else. Plus i have a daughter and i dont' want her (god forbid) to end up meeting someone like my BF and thinking it's ok to stay with him and that he'll change because he won't. I just want a "normal" life where we go out and do things together and i know where my BF is at all times. I want to get married and maybe have another kid but i know that it won't happen with this guy i'm with now. So i have to try to break it off and say goodbye and i know it's going to be the hardest thing i have ever had to do in my life but for me and my kids sake i know i HAVE to. Kim you will be ok. It's not going to be easy believe me i know - but if you can't change him you have to move on and make a life for you and your kids. I think of it this way if i stay with this one I'm with now i'm maybe losing out on finding a "good" man that can treat me the way i should be treated.. Ya know to be honest the hardest part of this whole thing is that when they are not on drugs they are so nice and sweet - you think to yourself why can't this stay this way for the rest of my life.. You think why wont' he just change so that i don't have to hurt anymore and have to say goodbye and start all over with someone else.. It's like he's perfect EXCEPT for the stupid drugs... It's just very frustrating!! Well i hope things get better for you - and don't blame yourself for what he's doing - you have done all you can do for him - it's up to him now... :)
Your posting takes the words right out of my mouth.. You described everything that i have been going through over the past year. My boyfriend sneaks off to do crack and spends every last dime he has on it.. He's even sold his belongings for it.. I just couldn't believe this was the same guy that helped with dinner, mowed the lawn and even helps do laundry.. I thought that maybe it was me and that i was driving him to do by mabye getting on his back about too many things or something but now i realize it's not me - it's his addiction.. I've too tried so many times to help him and to praise him when he's not doing crack.. I also have 2 kids from a previous relationship and they love him to death. I've kicked him out before and all they did was cry and blame me... I feel so much for them and there's nothing i can do.. I just know that i can't keep going on like this anymore. I can't keep going on 2 hours sleep up worrying about him all night because he takes off for days upon days at a time.. I don't want to get "that" phone call in the middle of the night saying he's dead or something. I know i hurt now but i think if i keep letting this go on then i'll be hurting for a LONG time and my kids will too. I think to myself that i can't let my son grow up thinking that staying out for days on end is the right thing to do and that is normal. I dont' want him growing up and doing it to someone else. Plus i have a daughter and i dont' want her (god forbid) to end up meeting someone like my BF and thinking it's ok to stay with him and that he'll change because he won't. I just want a "normal" life where we go out and do things together and i know where my BF is at all times. I want to get married and maybe have another kid but i know that it won't happen with this guy i'm with now. So i have to try to break it off and say goodbye and i know it's going to be the hardest thing i have ever had to do in my life but for me and my kids sake i know i HAVE to. Kim you will be ok. It's not going to be easy believe me i know - but if you can't change him you have to move on and make a life for you and your kids. I think of it this way if i stay with this one I'm with now i'm maybe losing out on finding a "good" man that can treat me the way i should be treated.. Ya know to be honest the hardest part of this whole thing is that when they are not on drugs they are so nice and sweet - you think to yourself why can't this stay this way for the rest of my life.. You think why wont' he just change so that i don't have to hurt anymore and have to say goodbye and start all over with someone else.. It's like he's perfect EXCEPT for the stupid drugs... It's just very frustrating!! Well i hope things get better for you - and don't blame yourself for what he's doing - you have done all you can do for him - it's up to him now... :)
I have been reading these letters and I am finding some level of peace knowing that Im not the only one going through this. My husband has been gone since Friday am, he picked up his paycheckfrom work and I havent seen him since. I called his job only to find out he doesnt have one anymore because he never showed up or called Friday, Saturday or today. I havent heard a word from him, to make things worse I couldnt even go out and find him as I have no idea where he goes when hes doing this stuff. The money is gone, the bank account is empty but the bills are still unpaid. The worse thing of all is I am here at home with our 2 week old baby girl, and a 6 year old girl who is a daddy's girl and is wondering when he'll be back. I love my husband very much but am feeling like my only other option now is to make him leave our home until he gets help. When he takes off he doesnt come back for 3 to 5 days or even a week (1 time).
I pray for him all the time, I pray that our Lord will help him help himself.
thanks for listening.... Bernice
I pray for him all the time, I pray that our Lord will help him help himself.
thanks for listening.... Bernice
Hello Bernice,
I first read your post about an hour ago... didn't know what to say. I'm not much clearer right now but I'll try to help the best I can. It breaks my heart to think about what you and your kids must be going through! I'm finding it difficult to put my feelings aside on this one...
I think you seriously need to reconsider whether you want your kids growing up with this man as a role model and a father figure. His behavior which seems to be without remorse is not only hurting himself but the kids as well...and not just today, but in the long run as well. Especially your 6 year old daughter...
Do you have close friends or family members that can help you should things turn sour? No job, no money, two kids, bills plus an addict... You don't need that! All I can do is send my prayers and I will Bernice. I promise. Please let us know how you're doing, ok?
Good luck & God Bless you, your kids and your husband!
JC
I first read your post about an hour ago... didn't know what to say. I'm not much clearer right now but I'll try to help the best I can. It breaks my heart to think about what you and your kids must be going through! I'm finding it difficult to put my feelings aside on this one...
I think you seriously need to reconsider whether you want your kids growing up with this man as a role model and a father figure. His behavior which seems to be without remorse is not only hurting himself but the kids as well...and not just today, but in the long run as well. Especially your 6 year old daughter...
Do you have close friends or family members that can help you should things turn sour? No job, no money, two kids, bills plus an addict... You don't need that! All I can do is send my prayers and I will Bernice. I promise. Please let us know how you're doing, ok?
Good luck & God Bless you, your kids and your husband!
JC
Dear Bernice, You poor thing I know how you feel the longest my husband was gone was 3 days. My heart breaks for you. Thing have been better this week for me. I still fear everyday it will happen again.You have to put your foot down with this. I did. So far so good it has been a week for him. We have been going to church that helps him so much. Meetings too.I pray for you too. Kim
Hi Kim!
I'm SO glad that things are going better for you. Congratulations on standing your ground and setting a good example for so many! I truly hope that things improve daily and that serenity returns to your home.
Good luck & God Bless!!!
JC
I'm SO glad that things are going better for you. Congratulations on standing your ground and setting a good example for so many! I truly hope that things improve daily and that serenity returns to your home.
Good luck & God Bless!!!
JC
Dear Lost soul, You sound like such a wonderful and caring person. This board has been so great for me.I feel like there are other people out there who know how I feel and it helps me cope.Things are much better this week, I feel like church is our biggest help. I pray everyday he can recover from this horrible diease.I feel for everyone who has gone through the pain I have. I feel helpless when he does this.I cant make him better he has to make himself better. It is so hard to recover from this. I had no idea how addicting this drug is and how it controls the mind.It is pure evil.I just pray that God will get us through this.Thats all I can do for now.I will stand by him as long as he really tries to get better.I will do whatever I can to help him.I will not enable him.But I will help. And be here if he has cravings, I do notice him being moody and depressed, mostly from the guilt. I know he feels bad when he hurts me.
I was wondering also, Is there a way to get this crap out of his system? A way to detox? And is something he can do when he has a craving?I know meeting!!! Or call his sponser,But is there something he can eat or drink to help take the craving away? Just wondering? Thanks for listening. God Bless. Kim
I was wondering also, Is there a way to get this crap out of his system? A way to detox? And is something he can do when he has a craving?I know meeting!!! Or call his sponser,But is there something he can eat or drink to help take the craving away? Just wondering? Thanks for listening. God Bless. Kim
Hi Kim!
Thanks for your kind words but know that I'm simply giving back what's been given to me...
You are right when you say that it's pure (d)evil! I see drugs as vultures praying on the weak. If your husband can get to see temptation as a gift, he might get over it quicker. Every craving is an opportunity to choose between GOoD anD EVIL. It's not something you can run away from, it's something you have to beat! His thoughts and temptations are his worst enemies right now. "Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies" He's not going to leave the table until he learns how to dine with them!
As for getting clean, you have more choices. My father is an Dr. and would prescribe an anti-depressant (SSRI), with dopamine in an addict's case, such as Wellbutrin. I'm inclined towards a more natural approach using non-chemical detoxifying methods. There are so many effective herbs that can help him (not with the cravings, that's not his body, it's his mind) detox. St-John's Wort is great for depression (but stay away if he has liver problems i.e. former alcoholic), cranberry and parsley are natural diuretics that can help flush out his system, a purgative agent might not hurt either,multi-vitamins can help balance out any nutritional deficiencies he might have and water, water, water,...
He should exercise and spend sometime outside. Maybe you can go for walks together? Does he like sports? If not, make him mow the lawn! Just kidding. Maybe a sauna if he doesn't like to work towards the sweat.
Best of luck & Bless you too!
JC
Thanks for your kind words but know that I'm simply giving back what's been given to me...
You are right when you say that it's pure (d)evil! I see drugs as vultures praying on the weak. If your husband can get to see temptation as a gift, he might get over it quicker. Every craving is an opportunity to choose between GOoD anD EVIL. It's not something you can run away from, it's something you have to beat! His thoughts and temptations are his worst enemies right now. "Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies" He's not going to leave the table until he learns how to dine with them!
As for getting clean, you have more choices. My father is an Dr. and would prescribe an anti-depressant (SSRI), with dopamine in an addict's case, such as Wellbutrin. I'm inclined towards a more natural approach using non-chemical detoxifying methods. There are so many effective herbs that can help him (not with the cravings, that's not his body, it's his mind) detox. St-John's Wort is great for depression (but stay away if he has liver problems i.e. former alcoholic), cranberry and parsley are natural diuretics that can help flush out his system, a purgative agent might not hurt either,multi-vitamins can help balance out any nutritional deficiencies he might have and water, water, water,...
He should exercise and spend sometime outside. Maybe you can go for walks together? Does he like sports? If not, make him mow the lawn! Just kidding. Maybe a sauna if he doesn't like to work towards the sweat.
Best of luck & Bless you too!
JC
Hi everyone, It has been a week and 3 days so far and things seem to be going well, He has some mood swings and yesterday he was depressed, but this morning his mood was much better.I keep asking how he is feeling and if everything is ok he says he is fine right now.He hates his job his boss can be a jerk to him sometimes, but his dream is to have his own business, I told him that could be a possiblity if he can recover but not until. So that can be a goal for him, I thought it might be a good way to encourage him.He is a very smart man when it comes to money (most of the time) he saves really well and it keeps his mind busy.He needs to always have something to look forward to.So I just wanted to update and let you know how things are going for us.I still always have it in the back of my head, but I am praying he will be ok. Thanks agian for being there for me, Kim
Hi Kim!
It looks like things are going much better. I think it's not only good, but essential to have goals & dreams! If he can work towards that and attain it, what a victory celebration you all could have!!!
God Bless,
JC
It looks like things are going much better. I think it's not only good, but essential to have goals & dreams! If he can work towards that and attain it, what a victory celebration you all could have!!!
God Bless,
JC
Dear Lost Soul, Hi how are you? Another good day yesterday, I hope it all keeps up.He seems in good sprits,I am going to get him some st Johns wort today for the mood swings, He took that last time this happened then he stopped because he felt better and thought he didnt need it anymore. He gets depressed very easily.I made him go to the doctor last time and they gave him Welbutrin.He took it for awhile but he said he didnt feel right on it.The funny thing with my husband is he doesnt like taking medicine.He dosent smoke cigs he hates them and he doesnt drink this was the only drug he ever did.He doesnt like to depend on things medicine and presription stuff that is.He is a tough cookie.God Bless, Kim
Good Morning Kim!
I'm doing great, thanks for asking! Your husband sure seems like a tough cookie, but you are as well... You'll get through this.
Keep in mind that St-John's Wort and Wellbutrin do not work the same way. The plant's effects are faster and milder than the medecine. When you're dealing with SSRI, and Wellbutrin in particular, it takes a while before it becomes effective. Unfortunately, the side effects show up defore the desired effects... He might feel drowsy, tired, increased libido, loss of appetite, nausea, etc. It can take a few weeks, sometimes even months, before the dosage is deemed to be proper. That's why I always prefer plants to pills...
You can find St-John's Wort in tablets and capsules in many pharmacies. If you have trouble finding it, let me know and I'll help you out.
I hope you have a great day together and that you take the time to enjoy eachother in spite of your struggle.
God Bless you both!
JC
I'm doing great, thanks for asking! Your husband sure seems like a tough cookie, but you are as well... You'll get through this.
Keep in mind that St-John's Wort and Wellbutrin do not work the same way. The plant's effects are faster and milder than the medecine. When you're dealing with SSRI, and Wellbutrin in particular, it takes a while before it becomes effective. Unfortunately, the side effects show up defore the desired effects... He might feel drowsy, tired, increased libido, loss of appetite, nausea, etc. It can take a few weeks, sometimes even months, before the dosage is deemed to be proper. That's why I always prefer plants to pills...
You can find St-John's Wort in tablets and capsules in many pharmacies. If you have trouble finding it, let me know and I'll help you out.
I hope you have a great day together and that you take the time to enjoy eachother in spite of your struggle.
God Bless you both!
JC
Thank you everyone!
I am new to the board. I am also new to learning about addicts. My bf of 3 years is a cocaine addict. I just found out about it. At first, I was understanding, but lie after lie, I started getting so angry. I gave him so many chances. I threatened to kick him out of the house. Nothing worked. Like so many others, I thought he didn't care if I was in his life or not. We have spent so many nights arguing and fighting, it began to take my life away from me. I was becoming his shadow. Checking on every phone call he made, checking his voice mails. I would look through my garbage cans for signs that he was doing it. I would obsorb hours into looking in every hiding spot I could think of in the house, just to catch him lying to me. I was going crazy.
Fortuneately, he has signed up for treatment. He is going 3 days a week. He tells me all the time that he wants to get better. He loves me and I love him. I am so scared. I just want to cry all of the time.
I am new to the board. I am also new to learning about addicts. My bf of 3 years is a cocaine addict. I just found out about it. At first, I was understanding, but lie after lie, I started getting so angry. I gave him so many chances. I threatened to kick him out of the house. Nothing worked. Like so many others, I thought he didn't care if I was in his life or not. We have spent so many nights arguing and fighting, it began to take my life away from me. I was becoming his shadow. Checking on every phone call he made, checking his voice mails. I would look through my garbage cans for signs that he was doing it. I would obsorb hours into looking in every hiding spot I could think of in the house, just to catch him lying to me. I was going crazy.
Fortuneately, he has signed up for treatment. He is going 3 days a week. He tells me all the time that he wants to get better. He loves me and I love him. I am so scared. I just want to cry all of the time.
Hello Beth,
I hope things will improve for you and for him as well... Going through the garbage, eh?! Eesshh! :-X
If you ever need advice or someone to talk to do not hesitate in post a new topic. I will respond to you!
Good luck & God Bless!
JC
I hope things will improve for you and for him as well... Going through the garbage, eh?! Eesshh! :-X
If you ever need advice or someone to talk to do not hesitate in post a new topic. I will respond to you!
Good luck & God Bless!
JC