Hey everyone,
This is the very first time I've ever posted anything about my life with my Heroin-addicted husband. I can write a book about the things I've been through with him. I met him when I was 21 going on 22 and he was 20. I've never met anyone who used drugs. To me, he was so beautiful and talented and I was so strongly attracted to him. He was hyper but I never thought anything of it. He didn't tell me he was on drugs until after a year of us being together. I had my suspicions but I didn't know what it was. The day I was going to leave him, he cried and finally told me he was on "China". I've never heard of that before until he told me it was a term for heroin and he'd been snorting it for the past three years. We held each other and cried in each other's arms and I promised I would do what I could to help him. His family knew but never told me. His mother would hint around but he said that if they told me, he'd never forgive them. His parents are still together and his family is wonderful. I couldn't understand how someone so beautiful (honestly, he could be a model if he wanted to), who loves to dress, look good, smell good be addicted. Well, he never quit and when he did, we got married at 22 and me 23. Little did I know that it was a mental thing and he could go back at any time. I didn't learn enough about the drug. Here we are, 5 years married and I can't take it anymore. I pay all the bills (i just bought a house) and take care of all household needs. He says he wants to get off but is afraid of doing it cold turkey. He's been to rehabs and tried methodone but nothing works. He's been to jail and done it cold turkey there but he still went back. Guys, we are so in love with each other. I love this man with all my heart and the reason I haven't left him is because of the vows I made, "better or worse, sickness and in health". I take them very seriously and I feel like I can't give up on him. He is SO smart, loving, caring, affectionate, wonderful with kids (we have none), etc. . . I could go on and on about how beautiful his heart and soul is but this addiction is tearing us apart. I HATE when he's high. He's NEVER been physical and NEVER is away for hours and hours. He goes and gets what he needs to get and comes back home to me. We are always together. We're the type of couple that people want to be like. . . (if they only knew). I'm so tired of living a double life. I have a wonderful family who knows nothing about what I go through. I cry a lot and the only person I can talk to is my mother-in-law. None of my friends know. They think we have the best relationship and wish they could find someone like my husband. I can't take this double life anymore. I block my problems at work and always act like my life is perfect with my husband. Nobody knows, only his family. He says he wants to get off and only does enough just so he won't feel any pain. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me and the worst at the same time. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd marry a drug addict. I threaten to leave but I can't leave him. I love him so much and want to help but I can't anymore. I'm so afraid for his life because he's at his breaking point but doesn't know what to do. We can't afford to pay what the insurance doesn't cover. Right now, he was in the process of looking for places to go but nothing yet. His mother suffers so much and she's such a beautiful, sweet person. I love her to death. If she wasn't in my life, I would've literally gone crazy. She's such a blessing in my life. We are spiritual people and we believe God will cure him but that he just has to put in his part as well. I hate living like this. I'm the person everyone goes to for help with their problems but I have no one but my mother-in-law to help with mine. I'm so sorry I went on and on about my life but thanks for reading and I wish all of you the best in your own situations. Thanks for reading. God bless all of you!
Tired of Double LIfe
hey I can relate to your problem. I was with a guy for 2 years and threatened to leave him and we cried and all that same bull crap you went through. However it was only a matter of time that he got me hooked. I did it for a year and got on suboxene I go to meetings and stay away. we still reside together but I cannot stand what he does I think it is sick. He makes me sick and i have no family so i am saving money to get my own place. Look it may sound good now with he leaves and comes right back but you are enabling him by letting him do that plus you are probally supplying the money. I know you want things to work out, but they are only gonna get worse. I mean think about it. You think if you let him go get his stuff and give him money he is ever going to quit? why would he. You need to put some tough love on him and let him hit rock bottom or he will never change. You are waiting and living with a time bomb. In this situation things only get worse not better. I know it will be hard for you but someone needs to take a stand or it will keep going on. You have everything he has nothing. Let him fall foe awhile so he has no choice but stop or go to rehab. Your gonna do what you want but i'm telling you nothing is going to change unless you stand up and do something.
Thanks so much for reading my "book" and posting your advice. I appreciate it so much. I have been showing him tough love. I haven't supplied him with money in a long time so if he uses, he does what he needs to do to get money to support his habit. I'm just so afraid of losing him. I feel so helpless and I try to understand what he's going through but I can't because I'm still trying to understand what I'm going through living wih him like this. Please tell me what medicine your taking and how it has helped you. I wish you all the best in your recovery and thanks again for listening.
Ms. Double Life
Ms. Double Life
I admire you for standing by your husband especially that you believe so strongly in the vow you took when you married him. But you are in some ways still enabling him to do H just by providing comfort for him. I think all counselors will tell you he will not truly want to change his life until he hits rock bottom. You may be preventing him from doing that. If you knew that leaving him would force a major crisis in his life and help push him towards getting clean; would you?
You should contact Narcotics Anonymous and ask if they have support groups for family and friends of addicts. You may be amazed at what you hear about 'enabling'. They will really make you think about how you are 'helping' your husband. You should make him go as well. I really feel counseling is the key to understanding addiction. Modern medicine can help with the cravings, but the addict needs to 'reprogram' their mind to understand how to live without drugs.
There is a girl named Violet that posts in here that has and is going through what you are. She posted a quote a few months ago that is so incredibly true and I want to repeat that here: If you are unable to walk away from them... how can you expect them to walk away from heroin?
Right now, you are the only one with the strength and wisdom to get both of you through this H crisis. You don't have to completely walk away, but you can put some distance between yourself and his drugs and tell him if he wants to be part of your life he will need to find a way to do it without H. Good luck to you both.
David
You should contact Narcotics Anonymous and ask if they have support groups for family and friends of addicts. You may be amazed at what you hear about 'enabling'. They will really make you think about how you are 'helping' your husband. You should make him go as well. I really feel counseling is the key to understanding addiction. Modern medicine can help with the cravings, but the addict needs to 'reprogram' their mind to understand how to live without drugs.
There is a girl named Violet that posts in here that has and is going through what you are. She posted a quote a few months ago that is so incredibly true and I want to repeat that here: If you are unable to walk away from them... how can you expect them to walk away from heroin?
Right now, you are the only one with the strength and wisdom to get both of you through this H crisis. You don't have to completely walk away, but you can put some distance between yourself and his drugs and tell him if he wants to be part of your life he will need to find a way to do it without H. Good luck to you both.
David
Hi there...
I'm really sorry to hear about your heart-ache. I too can relate to what you are going through. Only difference is that i am not married to my heroine addict boyfriend.But we've been together over 7 years and i've made the dicision, to walk away cos i can't take this anymore. Am i doing the right thing ? I don't know.... Help anyone ?
At first, i too did not know about his addiction. I really admire you for standing by your husband. I tried to do the same but he pushed me away. Why i don't know. I still love him with all my heart and always will. All i can do now is pray for him, that by some God-given miracle he will wake up and realize that he is throwing away his life. I will keep you in my prayers.
God bless and let us know how things are goin.
I'm really sorry to hear about your heart-ache. I too can relate to what you are going through. Only difference is that i am not married to my heroine addict boyfriend.But we've been together over 7 years and i've made the dicision, to walk away cos i can't take this anymore. Am i doing the right thing ? I don't know.... Help anyone ?
At first, i too did not know about his addiction. I really admire you for standing by your husband. I tried to do the same but he pushed me away. Why i don't know. I still love him with all my heart and always will. All i can do now is pray for him, that by some God-given miracle he will wake up and realize that he is throwing away his life. I will keep you in my prayers.
God bless and let us know how things are goin.
They call this the big lie. Worse it is costing him $50 to $100.00 a day that your not aware of yet. Oh yes. So he is making more money than your aware of.
I have been on herion off and on for 40 years now. I guess i'll die soon enough from it's use. My teeth have begun to rot no matter how much I brush them and my health has just begun to turn.
You need to make a choice. Either put up with it or get the hell out of there as fast as you can. Heroin is his lady, your the piece of a**. I am sorry if this hurts to read but it's reality. Every junky I have ever met, ever known, is still using or dead. And those that cleaned up from using it seem to not go a week without recalling the use. I have found that those that have cleaned up for a long time do not use anymore because they have fallen out of the group. But to find it is so easy. My way is to just go find a hooker. No, not for the a** but for the connection. At first you buy her one and you get 3 for 50 bucks. After a short time the connection begins to see your face and they will start selling to you. They just want to know your not the police.
For those of you that have cleaned up and are not using that are reading this articule, please don't email me, I am seriously happy for you but I ask for honesty here. How many times a week do you think about heroin per week?
As for this lady, I realize leaving this guy is not in the question yet or is it? You are on the right track. Remember, relationships are built on honesty, complete, unconditional honesty. You have been lied too not only by him but by the family members too. They are praying your the answer to his addition which your not. I am so sorry to say this but go home right now, pack his s*** and tell him good by. Unless of course he will try to get you to try it and get you hooked. And the cost of it means only one thing, either your super rich and can afford to spend a hundred bucks a day or so for the both of you or before you know it you will be on the street corner yourself selling your a**. Hey, I am not being nice here because there is nothing nice about this s***. I love the high. It's better than sex as far as I am concerned. And I will die with a needle in my arm. Pretty sick? No I wish it was not like this but it will get this way. Your old man is strung. He wants the cake which is the heroin and your the icing. Remember, you don't need icing on the cake to eat it. Actually for me the icing is too rich.
Good luck. You know what you must do. Sometimes when we love someone so much that our love for them is greater than reason. I left my wife years back because if I would of stayed with her any longer I would of had her working the streets next. And it came close. I too got her on heroin. I got her to try it and she loved it too. But it cost to much to support us both. I took every dime we had to slam that s*** into my arm. And every day that goes by will get worse for you. Oh. it takes years to break away from it. I went 12 years without and here I am again trying to find an easy way off of it. And there is NO easy way. Good luck.
I have been on herion off and on for 40 years now. I guess i'll die soon enough from it's use. My teeth have begun to rot no matter how much I brush them and my health has just begun to turn.
You need to make a choice. Either put up with it or get the hell out of there as fast as you can. Heroin is his lady, your the piece of a**. I am sorry if this hurts to read but it's reality. Every junky I have ever met, ever known, is still using or dead. And those that cleaned up from using it seem to not go a week without recalling the use. I have found that those that have cleaned up for a long time do not use anymore because they have fallen out of the group. But to find it is so easy. My way is to just go find a hooker. No, not for the a** but for the connection. At first you buy her one and you get 3 for 50 bucks. After a short time the connection begins to see your face and they will start selling to you. They just want to know your not the police.
For those of you that have cleaned up and are not using that are reading this articule, please don't email me, I am seriously happy for you but I ask for honesty here. How many times a week do you think about heroin per week?
As for this lady, I realize leaving this guy is not in the question yet or is it? You are on the right track. Remember, relationships are built on honesty, complete, unconditional honesty. You have been lied too not only by him but by the family members too. They are praying your the answer to his addition which your not. I am so sorry to say this but go home right now, pack his s*** and tell him good by. Unless of course he will try to get you to try it and get you hooked. And the cost of it means only one thing, either your super rich and can afford to spend a hundred bucks a day or so for the both of you or before you know it you will be on the street corner yourself selling your a**. Hey, I am not being nice here because there is nothing nice about this s***. I love the high. It's better than sex as far as I am concerned. And I will die with a needle in my arm. Pretty sick? No I wish it was not like this but it will get this way. Your old man is strung. He wants the cake which is the heroin and your the icing. Remember, you don't need icing on the cake to eat it. Actually for me the icing is too rich.
Good luck. You know what you must do. Sometimes when we love someone so much that our love for them is greater than reason. I left my wife years back because if I would of stayed with her any longer I would of had her working the streets next. And it came close. I too got her on heroin. I got her to try it and she loved it too. But it cost to much to support us both. I took every dime we had to slam that s*** into my arm. And every day that goes by will get worse for you. Oh. it takes years to break away from it. I went 12 years without and here I am again trying to find an easy way off of it. And there is NO easy way. Good luck.
Hey..
It's violet. It's true what david has said, i was in your position a few weeks ago. Only now today, my boyfriend and i have actually got somewhere. As you've explained, it doesn't seem like your boyfriend suits this lifestyle, a person who goes out to get gear just to be normal and then comes straight home to you... my boyfriend was like that... he even works full time in a law firm, cares about his appearance and a very loving person, you'd never guess that he'd have an addictive personality. I know every emotion that you're going through and the thought of leaving him must be the very last thing you'd ever want to imagine. Despite the moments of crying together and him telling you how much he wants to quit, it is true what others have posted on here. As painful as it sounds, you're not going to accompish anything if you're not going to do anything about it. Addicts will just keep lying and unfortunely they forget what it means to be in love focusing only on one objection... "H" Your husband will only continue to take you for granted as my boyfriend has done in the past. You have to be harsh and as they say... sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and this is definately something where you have to act and draw that line. I love my boyfriend more than anything so i understand how hard it is to say or do those things to your boyfriend but as David said, you could be just enabling your husband for him to continue using, sometimes, you just have to take risks, even if it means that you may never be with that person again but you have to remind yourself about later on. Things aren't going to look any brighter and choosing to leave later on will be even harder than it is now. I am not telling you to leave your husband because that decision is entirely up to you but maybe what David said is true, you could at least distant yourself from him. I would cry all the time, thinking and stressing myself out every night on what i can do to help him get off h but stupidly i use to think to myself that with our love it will conquer my boyfriends' addiction and that he will use our love to get him off it. Well, i've learnt it the hard way and i can promise you now that love isn't going to do anything. Although what did help was me stating my grounds. I knew i had to draw lines, if not for him at least for myself because i knew in my heart that no matter how much i loved a person, i could never continue to be or marry this person in the future. Sounds cold but i knew no matter how much i wanted to be with him, i could never be happy and happiness is what i truely value most. You should read my other posts, it's especially for lovers like us, who are addicted to saving our love ones from this nightmare. I'm sorry but i don't have a solution for the hell that you are in but all i want to say is that if you are thinking about leaving, do whatever you can to help your husband first, there's nothing worse than leaving him then looking back and regretting things that you knew might have a chance to getting him clean, even if it's the slightest chance, go for it. It's not going to take the pain of your loss but it will certainly be easier to walk away. I know.. because it helped me.
I wish you all the best.. take care and learn to love yourself again because you're worth it.
yours truely,
xox violet
It's violet. It's true what david has said, i was in your position a few weeks ago. Only now today, my boyfriend and i have actually got somewhere. As you've explained, it doesn't seem like your boyfriend suits this lifestyle, a person who goes out to get gear just to be normal and then comes straight home to you... my boyfriend was like that... he even works full time in a law firm, cares about his appearance and a very loving person, you'd never guess that he'd have an addictive personality. I know every emotion that you're going through and the thought of leaving him must be the very last thing you'd ever want to imagine. Despite the moments of crying together and him telling you how much he wants to quit, it is true what others have posted on here. As painful as it sounds, you're not going to accompish anything if you're not going to do anything about it. Addicts will just keep lying and unfortunely they forget what it means to be in love focusing only on one objection... "H" Your husband will only continue to take you for granted as my boyfriend has done in the past. You have to be harsh and as they say... sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and this is definately something where you have to act and draw that line. I love my boyfriend more than anything so i understand how hard it is to say or do those things to your boyfriend but as David said, you could be just enabling your husband for him to continue using, sometimes, you just have to take risks, even if it means that you may never be with that person again but you have to remind yourself about later on. Things aren't going to look any brighter and choosing to leave later on will be even harder than it is now. I am not telling you to leave your husband because that decision is entirely up to you but maybe what David said is true, you could at least distant yourself from him. I would cry all the time, thinking and stressing myself out every night on what i can do to help him get off h but stupidly i use to think to myself that with our love it will conquer my boyfriends' addiction and that he will use our love to get him off it. Well, i've learnt it the hard way and i can promise you now that love isn't going to do anything. Although what did help was me stating my grounds. I knew i had to draw lines, if not for him at least for myself because i knew in my heart that no matter how much i loved a person, i could never continue to be or marry this person in the future. Sounds cold but i knew no matter how much i wanted to be with him, i could never be happy and happiness is what i truely value most. You should read my other posts, it's especially for lovers like us, who are addicted to saving our love ones from this nightmare. I'm sorry but i don't have a solution for the hell that you are in but all i want to say is that if you are thinking about leaving, do whatever you can to help your husband first, there's nothing worse than leaving him then looking back and regretting things that you knew might have a chance to getting him clean, even if it's the slightest chance, go for it. It's not going to take the pain of your loss but it will certainly be easier to walk away. I know.. because it helped me.
I wish you all the best.. take care and learn to love yourself again because you're worth it.
yours truely,
xox violet
Dear double life, I am michelle the same one that emailed you with the name concerned. Thanks for your replies also. I can help you if you would like. I come from being in the relationship, to using, to trying to stay clean. There is some great advice already out there that people have given you. I wish I would of know somewhat the things I know now. There are meetings that both of you can attend. As for the medicine it is suboxone and for me it does work. You can live a normal life without the fear of worrying you cannot function or you will get sick.But you cannot push him he needs to be ready to change or nothing will work. If he is going illegal ways to get the money you have the chance of losing him anyways to jail. Once he gets out I'm sure it would only be a matter of time before he starts to use again and believe me he will keep it a secret until you suspect something. You can only help someone that wants to be helped. He may be telling you he is ready to quit just for it to sound good to you. I have heard that same slogan from my boyfriend for so long. I just happened to get sick of the lifestyle and all the bullcrap that comes with it. Gosh I know this is a hard situation especially if everyone around you thinks its a great relationship. Even then I would question that I mean people do talk, my guess is that at least one of your peers has suspiscion anyways. It is amazing how much people around you know and are afraid to say anything. That was my family, they knew but were afraid to say anything, cause I would always deny it. Well anything else, I'm here.
Hey guys,
Thank you all for your messages. It felt really good to tell my problems to people who understand what I'm going through. Gary, I appreciate your honesty and being blunt but I know that I am more to him than just a piece of a**. I am fully aware that H has taken over him but we as a couple have a strong bond no matter what we're going through. He's not only my husband, but he's my best friend and he would NEVER in a million years get me hooked or even think about trying to "sell" me. When I say he has a heart of gold, he really does. In a way, I'm pretty sure that's what holds me back from leaving him. When he's sober, he's the most beautifulest person I've ever met in my life. He's funny, smart as hell, so f&*king lovable, always holds my hand whenever we're together, in the car, etc. . . He's lovable too when he's high but its me who pushes him away cause his high is different. H most of the time gets him more hyper than he normally is. I guess I have so much faith in him and I do want to try everything I can possible to help him before I walk out of his life. I don't want to feel like I turned my back when he's been trying cause he really has. He'll suffer a few days without it and stay with me just to prove to me that he loves me and he really does want to change. I believe so much that we will get through this. Maybe I'm stupid for thinking that way but he's my husband and it's so hard to turn my back on him, but David you're right too. I didn't understand it before but I guess I have been his enabler and I blame myself for it. I don't understand how I can still be married and try to be a loving wife but still do him harm at the same time by loving him the way I do. I want to go to counseling, something we've never done and he's never done. I want to try before it's too late. I've never been to counseling but I know I need it cause this secret is killing me. It's helped opening up here but I need help too. My little heart and soul can't take this pain, this anguish. I suffer at work just thinking about his well-being. Will he be home? Will he be okay? I pray for him constantly, hoping he hears my prayers and save my husband. Thanks again so much for reading and your advices. This has helped a lot. God bless you all in your situations as well. Michelle, Violet and Talula, thanks SO much!!! You don't know what it means to me for you all to take the time out to help me out. Take care!
Thank you all for your messages. It felt really good to tell my problems to people who understand what I'm going through. Gary, I appreciate your honesty and being blunt but I know that I am more to him than just a piece of a**. I am fully aware that H has taken over him but we as a couple have a strong bond no matter what we're going through. He's not only my husband, but he's my best friend and he would NEVER in a million years get me hooked or even think about trying to "sell" me. When I say he has a heart of gold, he really does. In a way, I'm pretty sure that's what holds me back from leaving him. When he's sober, he's the most beautifulest person I've ever met in my life. He's funny, smart as hell, so f&*king lovable, always holds my hand whenever we're together, in the car, etc. . . He's lovable too when he's high but its me who pushes him away cause his high is different. H most of the time gets him more hyper than he normally is. I guess I have so much faith in him and I do want to try everything I can possible to help him before I walk out of his life. I don't want to feel like I turned my back when he's been trying cause he really has. He'll suffer a few days without it and stay with me just to prove to me that he loves me and he really does want to change. I believe so much that we will get through this. Maybe I'm stupid for thinking that way but he's my husband and it's so hard to turn my back on him, but David you're right too. I didn't understand it before but I guess I have been his enabler and I blame myself for it. I don't understand how I can still be married and try to be a loving wife but still do him harm at the same time by loving him the way I do. I want to go to counseling, something we've never done and he's never done. I want to try before it's too late. I've never been to counseling but I know I need it cause this secret is killing me. It's helped opening up here but I need help too. My little heart and soul can't take this pain, this anguish. I suffer at work just thinking about his well-being. Will he be home? Will he be okay? I pray for him constantly, hoping he hears my prayers and save my husband. Thanks again so much for reading and your advices. This has helped a lot. God bless you all in your situations as well. Michelle, Violet and Talula, thanks SO much!!! You don't know what it means to me for you all to take the time out to help me out. Take care!
Hey.. I understand your decision.. to stick by him and do everything you possibilty can before turning to the last resort which is leaving your husband. It's exactly what i decided to do as well. I tell ya what.. in the beginning, i was so determined to fight this battle out but after many unsuccesful attempts, my determination began to change and instead of being supportive, i turned into a negative person but you can't blame me right? I was only this way because i was so hurt and had been let down so many times. However there was something at one point where i knew, would decide our fates.. where it was everything and that was taking him to rapid detox. Everyone out there may not call this everything, some people may continue to still be with them even if it failed beyond this point, where as others may have already given up before reaching this point depending on their addictive personality or when they decided that enough was enough and at this point, this was when it was absortunely enough for me.
Thankfully, today my boyfriend is clean therefore does not need drugs to be normal, he does not depend on it anymore and i have never been more proud of him. Now.. it's just his mind that i'm working on.. that's the hardest part but i can say that my decision had created a turning point for the both of us. Though the process was succesful it does not mean that i have ignored the decision that i made for myself.. that decision was everything and still is everything. I think you should should start setting boundaries for yourself because you can't keep living on like this. There will be never a day where it'll be easier for you, you'll never be ready to leave the one you dearly love. I'm not sure if you mentioned in your post or not but if you have kids, think about their future. I'm sure that you wouldn't want them to grow up in this environment.. i'm sure you know that there's a great risk involved. Things will not get better if you don't act. By the sounds of it, your boyfriend was clean but then relapsed and started using again.. this just proves that maybe you both should start focusing more on what's going through his mind and find out why he's relapsing. You should consider going to N/A meetings, they should be able to assist you in this area. Have you tried looking for other alternatives such as naltrexone? Naltrexone is what completely blocks out the effects of heroin, so if an addict decides to use while on naltrexone, he cannot feel the high and it will make them sick. Because they cannot feel the high, they will learn that there would be no reason to use since they can't feel anything and it even takes away the cravings to use. Addicts however can only take naltrexone only when they're clean and can be either taken orally by tablets or a patch inserted inside them. My boyfriend does not have the patch therefore i have to watch him take the tablets everyday since he does them orally. There are risks involved undergoing this procedure so if you are considering, please do some more research before proceeding. I don't really want to promote this process as a lot of people are against it but truthly rapid detox has helped us and given me a chance to have a sober boyfriend.
If you have any other questions, feel free to ask me. I'll always keep checking on how you're going.
Take care,
xox violet
Thankfully, today my boyfriend is clean therefore does not need drugs to be normal, he does not depend on it anymore and i have never been more proud of him. Now.. it's just his mind that i'm working on.. that's the hardest part but i can say that my decision had created a turning point for the both of us. Though the process was succesful it does not mean that i have ignored the decision that i made for myself.. that decision was everything and still is everything. I think you should should start setting boundaries for yourself because you can't keep living on like this. There will be never a day where it'll be easier for you, you'll never be ready to leave the one you dearly love. I'm not sure if you mentioned in your post or not but if you have kids, think about their future. I'm sure that you wouldn't want them to grow up in this environment.. i'm sure you know that there's a great risk involved. Things will not get better if you don't act. By the sounds of it, your boyfriend was clean but then relapsed and started using again.. this just proves that maybe you both should start focusing more on what's going through his mind and find out why he's relapsing. You should consider going to N/A meetings, they should be able to assist you in this area. Have you tried looking for other alternatives such as naltrexone? Naltrexone is what completely blocks out the effects of heroin, so if an addict decides to use while on naltrexone, he cannot feel the high and it will make them sick. Because they cannot feel the high, they will learn that there would be no reason to use since they can't feel anything and it even takes away the cravings to use. Addicts however can only take naltrexone only when they're clean and can be either taken orally by tablets or a patch inserted inside them. My boyfriend does not have the patch therefore i have to watch him take the tablets everyday since he does them orally. There are risks involved undergoing this procedure so if you are considering, please do some more research before proceeding. I don't really want to promote this process as a lot of people are against it but truthly rapid detox has helped us and given me a chance to have a sober boyfriend.
If you have any other questions, feel free to ask me. I'll always keep checking on how you're going.
Take care,
xox violet
When i was reading your story I thought that I was reading my life. It is so hard to deal with but it just comes down to us making a decision on how we want to live. You are lucky that you do not have kids. I do toddlers and I don't work. It's tough but we will get through it one way or another. If we decide to leave I know it will make us stronger. I feel like my life is on hold until he is sober again. He just went to rehab and I hope it works this time if it does not i will be moving on with out him. I just keep telling myself everything happens for a reason and it has helped me so far. Good luck.
Thanks Violet and Alyssa for your messages. Violet, I am so happy that your boyfriend is doing better now. I will keep you guys in prayer because I know this is an everyday battle and they battle within themselves. I have an update. Today my husband got his Suboxene prescription. This was our last resort because I gave him an ultimatum, something I never thought I'd do but I had to. I reached my limit and I told him that it was either me or the drugs and if it was me, he needed to get help and fast because I didn't want to live like this anymore. If it was the drugs, I told him to pack his things and I'd drop him off wherever he wanted to go. I couldn't take it anymore but I was going to let him go if he chose the drugs. Fortunately, he said he was tired of living his life the way he has and asked for help. I'm praying to God this works for him. We'll be looking for an outpatient program in our area so that he can get his mind back on track as well. Alyssa, you'll get to the point where you feel that enough is enough and want to start making changes. It was so hard for me to give him the ultimatum but I think this time, he knew I was serious. I was. I want to have a "normal" relationship with him. I want to be a mommy. I can't let him put a hold on my life anymore. I'll say a prayer for you Alyssa. There really is power in prayer and if you ever need to talk to me, here's my email address: cruzycruz@yahoo.com. It really does help to talk to people who are going through the same things you are. I didn't have anyone to talk to but my mother-in-law and it hurt so bad because I bottled things up all the time. My posting here was really the first time I ever talked about my experiences. Take care Violet and Alyssa and please keep my posted.
God Bless,
Double Life
God Bless,
Double Life
Sorry for misspelling your name, Alissa!
Double Life
Double Life