Hi - I am the wife of a great guy. I met him when he was playing in a band and there was a heavy drug culture that surrounded our courtship (16 years and 4 children ago). He sold and smoked pot regularly. We were young, and I easily left that party environment and moved on to the next stage of my life - job, wife, kids, etc... He has grown along with me, and is a wonderful father, employee, etc... However- the pot issue never completely goes away. He will go for months, even years and then relapse. I understand that this is pretty normal, and that his daily habit has decreased significantly - but am I totally naive to think it will finally be out of our lives? Yesterday, I was getting our kids ready for a little birthday party, opened the door to the basement and smelled pot! There was no stress trigger, there was no party environment. I don't get it! We were just going to a 2 yr olds party. Because he doesn't want to spend money on pot, he showed me a handmade pipe and told me that he has been scrapping of residue and smoking that. This seems so desperate- and because it is so infrequent, and not quality pot, what am I dealing with? How can I help? This is so frustrating! I just don't understand, and now he wants me to go to the 12 step program with him. I think he just said that because he knows I am mad and he wants me to feel sorry for him. He is a man of deep faith. Why can't he stop? Bottom line, I am his wife until death do us part. I am his best friend. It hurts so much that he STILL lies to me about this, after SO many years. Thanks for your insight. I am sorry if this is on the wrong thread- I am new to this type of format, but just don't know what to do.
Hi, You might want to post on the Family & Friends part of this website. There are many people who are suffering from a family member's addiction. You are not alone. It's great that you are reaching out for support. I have had a relationship with pot for over 20 years and have quit on many occasions only to go back to it again. I'm into my second week this time. So I don't have much good advice. My husband needs to abstain due to depression and we have been making a serious effort to quit over the past 3 months. Hang in there. Best wishes.
Thank you for your reply. This doesn't get any easier. I did see the forum for friends and family, thanks. My brother has had addiction issues with oxy for the past 5 years, and he goes to a great NA program. Why is there a different program (MA) for pot? That is why I came to this forum. It seems like a totally different addiction. I don't know. I'm so tired of this being a part of my life.
Anyway - thanks for reaching out to me. I do feel very alone.
My best to you, may you find peace in your journey to sobriety.
Anyway - thanks for reaching out to me. I do feel very alone.
My best to you, may you find peace in your journey to sobriety.
Pot is considered a soft drug by many and often claims of addiction to it are not taken seriously. As someone with several friends who are walking cautiuonary tales about the ramifications of smoking too much weed, it is frustrating to think that this is not given the weight of other addictive substances. I wish I had some good advice for you, but I guess a lot would depend on his attitude about pot - does he recognize that it's an issue for you? Does he see it as an uncontrolled problem or what so many call 'recreational' use? Is it a deal-breaker for you? Sorry for your pain over this.
Peace~MomNMore
Peace~MomNMore
Hi Phillymac, Thanks for your well wishes. In response to your question about why there is a MA and also an NA 12 step program. Again this is only my personal experience not an official answer. When I first tried quitting back in the late 80's I went to NA. Most of the people were there to deal with addiction to "harder drugs" such as cocaine, heroin, etc. I felt like I wasn't taken very seriously because I was there "just for pot." My sponsor even advised me to go to AA and just substiture alcohol for pot when speaking in the meetings. I went once and this seemed to go against the "honesty" policy and I just couldn't do it. At that time there was no MA in my area and no on line meetings as today. I have yet to try the on line MA because I had trouble with the 12 step philosopy. I know it has worked for a lot of people so I hope your husband might consider it. I hope you are finding support. There are so many families suffering from addiction issues. My mom was an alcoholic and I have chosen many alcoholic partners, so I know the other side of it too. Best Wishes.
