Hi everyone!
I posted a note a couple of weeks ago but haven't had a chance to write. I'm still struggling with why I feel so compelled to take this stupid vicodin every day! I was taking one pill 5/500 3-4 times per week for the last year and a half to two years. No more than one pill a day. Every time I say I'm going to stop, I don't/can't and don't know why. The longest I've gone is about 7 days and I would convince myself that "I feel fine" - no withdrawl, I must be OK so I'll just take one today and that's all. But that never happens. Every time I take one, I continue for several days. I pray there's a way to do this without rehab because I would be in serious trouble. I can't go to meetings because my town is small and not anonymous at all. Does anyone have tips for how to get started? How to get through the day? I could use an on-line friend!!!!!! Thank you!!!! A
Hi and welcome to the board, I know how you feel I was taking about 5 or 6 a day for a long while and then decided I had to quit I tapered down, and had very little w/d but the cravings got to me and I messed up. I now take about 3 or 4 a week and I hate doing it.. I was so depressed all the time and would take one when I got down I went today to get some antideppresants to help with the depression, and hope to try again real soon in fact this weekend, you have to get you mindset on wanting this you have to want it bad, it will not be easy but you can do it alot of people on here have and are clean. I dont know if I helped at all but if not there are alot of GREAT WONDERFUL people on here that can and will just stick around...
A,
Your story reminds me a lot of myself. You know there is always that person you say hey that's my story,LOL I was the same way only taking 1 pill a day. I would take a vicodin 10mg pill and split it in half. I would take 5mgs in the morning and 5mg in the evening. I did this for months before I quit. Which by the way I did quit Feb 2nd. I even cut down to just taking 5mgs a day before I stopped altogether. I was sick of playing the same mind games as you are. I would think I don't have aproblem cause I could go a day or 2 without. I would justify my actions by telling myself I am only taking 1 pill a day, look at everyone else taking 50 a day. Anyway, I got myself some OTC medications and got started. I sucked up the minor withdrawl symptoms and got on with my life. Towards the end there I really wasn't enjoying the few minute buzz anyway and I was starting to feel guilty everytime I took it. It was just my time, ya know.
Midol- Helped with my moodiness
Comtrex Cold and flu
Motrin 800mgs
Immodium Ad
Soups
Hot bathes
Multi-vitamins
B-12
If you need to talk more feel free to e-mail me anytime @ Bunny 4804@aol.com
Take care and remember if I could do it with 3 children you can to. Rae
Your story reminds me a lot of myself. You know there is always that person you say hey that's my story,LOL I was the same way only taking 1 pill a day. I would take a vicodin 10mg pill and split it in half. I would take 5mgs in the morning and 5mg in the evening. I did this for months before I quit. Which by the way I did quit Feb 2nd. I even cut down to just taking 5mgs a day before I stopped altogether. I was sick of playing the same mind games as you are. I would think I don't have aproblem cause I could go a day or 2 without. I would justify my actions by telling myself I am only taking 1 pill a day, look at everyone else taking 50 a day. Anyway, I got myself some OTC medications and got started. I sucked up the minor withdrawl symptoms and got on with my life. Towards the end there I really wasn't enjoying the few minute buzz anyway and I was starting to feel guilty everytime I took it. It was just my time, ya know.
Midol- Helped with my moodiness
Comtrex Cold and flu
Motrin 800mgs
Immodium Ad
Soups
Hot bathes
Multi-vitamins
B-12
If you need to talk more feel free to e-mail me anytime @ Bunny 4804@aol.com
Take care and remember if I could do it with 3 children you can to. Rae
Hey Alanas,
Welcome to the board. I have been around here a few weeks now and have found this site to be very helpful in my journey to begin living without pain pills. I have been struggeling to get off of them for several months now but every time I get to about day 3 I turn back...today is day three again and this time I am not turning back. I am doing it with the help of a medication called subutex and am feeling pretty confident in my ability to make it this time. My drug of choice was hydrocodone or oxycodone (vicodin or percocet) and I once had over three years clean from all substances but I had to go to AA meetings to get that much clean time. I understand living in a small town and not wanting anyone to know but I don't feel this disease is something to be ashamed of if you are getting help. Someone once ask me "Would you be ashamed to tell people you had cancer? You wouldn't let that stop you from taking chemo would you?" Once I was able to view it as a life or death thing, meaning if I continued to use I would just be killing myself, I was able to not worry about who knew about me going to meetings. That was just my experience. Having said that, if you choose not to go to meetings in your town maybe there is a town near by where you could attend or a church maybe? I don't know. For right now it's good that you found this board and keep posting. It has helped me and I hope that it helps you too. Let me know if I can help.
Take care,
Lou
Welcome to the board. I have been around here a few weeks now and have found this site to be very helpful in my journey to begin living without pain pills. I have been struggeling to get off of them for several months now but every time I get to about day 3 I turn back...today is day three again and this time I am not turning back. I am doing it with the help of a medication called subutex and am feeling pretty confident in my ability to make it this time. My drug of choice was hydrocodone or oxycodone (vicodin or percocet) and I once had over three years clean from all substances but I had to go to AA meetings to get that much clean time. I understand living in a small town and not wanting anyone to know but I don't feel this disease is something to be ashamed of if you are getting help. Someone once ask me "Would you be ashamed to tell people you had cancer? You wouldn't let that stop you from taking chemo would you?" Once I was able to view it as a life or death thing, meaning if I continued to use I would just be killing myself, I was able to not worry about who knew about me going to meetings. That was just my experience. Having said that, if you choose not to go to meetings in your town maybe there is a town near by where you could attend or a church maybe? I don't know. For right now it's good that you found this board and keep posting. It has helped me and I hope that it helps you too. Let me know if I can help.
Take care,
Lou
Hi Rae you sound just like me... only I am still doing that.. but hope to get it together real soon... hope you are doing well..
Alanas
I think you need to make sure you do not have any of the pills around. I know I could not have stopped if I had some around. Its really hard not to think about them but after a while it does get better. If you really want to stop, get rid of them. It will be really hard to stop as long as you have them.
Welcome. You will get a lot of support here.
Frank
Hey Paula,
You will get it together soon. You just have to want it bad enough. I seriously believe some people want it but not enough to go through the withdrawl and get over it. It is just easier to keep taking the pills and justify using them everyday. You will ONLY change when you are ready and I pray that day will come sooner than later for you. I know you really want this for yourself and it's easy to stay in the cycle. Keep weaning down and get as low as you can and stop. Your body will get used to the new dose and your body won't depend on it as often. Go down 5 mgs a week. Pick a day and start. Stay focused and you will succeed. Rae
You will get it together soon. You just have to want it bad enough. I seriously believe some people want it but not enough to go through the withdrawl and get over it. It is just easier to keep taking the pills and justify using them everyday. You will ONLY change when you are ready and I pray that day will come sooner than later for you. I know you really want this for yourself and it's easy to stay in the cycle. Keep weaning down and get as low as you can and stop. Your body will get used to the new dose and your body won't depend on it as often. Go down 5 mgs a week. Pick a day and start. Stay focused and you will succeed. Rae
Thanks Rae but was wondering since I am only taking 3 or 4 a week do you think I will have many withdrawels I know when I tapered down before when I was taking 5 or 6 a day, I tapered to 1/2 a day and quit for a while and did not have to many do you think it will be that way again..??
A
Congrats, at least you are admitting you need to quit, do whatever you have or can do to quit. I quit ct on 2/21/05, this board really helped, I read all the others for support and they are great as you will learn. Many of the people can help you with otc meds that will ease some of the discomfort. But as to your quiting, sounds like you truly want to and I beleive that is step numeral uno.
Good luck and keep informed.
Congrats, at least you are admitting you need to quit, do whatever you have or can do to quit. I quit ct on 2/21/05, this board really helped, I read all the others for support and they are great as you will learn. Many of the people can help you with otc meds that will ease some of the discomfort. But as to your quiting, sounds like you truly want to and I beleive that is step numeral uno.
Good luck and keep informed.
Alanis,
I remember your original post a few weeks ago, and I remember the advice you were given, it is still applicable. At you current dose your withdrawels will be minimal, you really need to flush the pills now before it gets really out of hand, and it will, trust me.
There are alot of people here that wish they can go back in time to be where you are now, and take the other fork in the road (sobriety). I am not an expert on this but, I do not think you need rehab, conseling maybe, to find the root cause of your addiction.
Best Regards,
Tom
I remember your original post a few weeks ago, and I remember the advice you were given, it is still applicable. At you current dose your withdrawels will be minimal, you really need to flush the pills now before it gets really out of hand, and it will, trust me.
There are alot of people here that wish they can go back in time to be where you are now, and take the other fork in the road (sobriety). I am not an expert on this but, I do not think you need rehab, conseling maybe, to find the root cause of your addiction.
Best Regards,
Tom
I agree with Tom.. You do not need rehab on that low of a dose. You will have minor flu-like symptoms. I had the flu a week or so ago that was way worse than my withdrawl was.. Seriously.. I think you are just afraid of the withdrawls and that is normal, I was to. Once you get over that fear you will see it was worth it and how much happier you can be. Sure you will have some mental crap to deal with because it is like breaking any old habit but you can do it. Get rid of the pills and you will have no choice but to suck it up... The little bit of pain won't last forever! Rae
Thanks to all of you for your replies! This site is incredible and the support is wonderful! It's so helpful to hear everyone's stories. It's a little more comforting to know that I am not alone, particulary in the area of vicodin. I had a problem with this many years ago, but was taking much more per day than I am now. I freaked out then about quitting and just remember tapering down and then stopping but something made me do it. I had a sudden burst of confidence or will to get my life on track - I don't know where it came from. I had determination like I had never thought possible. I tapered, quit, never had w/d and was fine up until a couple of years ago. I want that life back again, the life where I'm not calculating and counting the number of pills I have left every day and planning my next "high". I'm just having a hard time getting that determination back like the last time. Maybe it's fear of w/d or maybe it's fear of coping with other areas in my life that are difficult to deal with every day. Anyway, thanks again to everyone, and thanks Rae for the otc tips! The support means so much. A
Alanas, thats a huge accomplishment to taper down like you did, that alone puts you at the head of the class, this last little bit should be a cake walk.
Good luck
JD
Good luck
JD
A,
you can and will do this. i have confidence in you. you can have that mindset back. its there. it wants it. dig a little deeper you will find it. have you considered counceling or n/a meetings? there is lots of great support here as well. JD and others are right 1 pill a day should be cake walk. it definately sounds more psychological. please let me know how i can help. keep talking it helps and you will find all kinds of support and inspiration. its yours for the taking : )
terrianne
you can and will do this. i have confidence in you. you can have that mindset back. its there. it wants it. dig a little deeper you will find it. have you considered counceling or n/a meetings? there is lots of great support here as well. JD and others are right 1 pill a day should be cake walk. it definately sounds more psychological. please let me know how i can help. keep talking it helps and you will find all kinds of support and inspiration. its yours for the taking : )
terrianne
