This was a good read and helped me understand how the dynamics of reactions on a recovery BB can get ugly real fast.I condensed this a bit.
Hypersensitivity
"If we see someone reacting to what appears to be hardly noticeable contact,say,brushing against someone in a crowded elevator,we would probably wonder,What's wrong with that person? We would likely consider the angry reaction unwarranted.
Suppose,however,that the person involved had a blistering sunburn.The entire picture now changes.What appeared to be superficial contact was actually enough to elicit excrutiating pain,and even if the angry outburst was not justified,at least we can understand why it occurred.
Hypersensitive addicts,however,often aren't aware of their extreme emotional sensitivity,so they see hostile intent in innocent acts or remarks and are apt to react accordingly.
When we observe the reactions of a person using addictive logic,let's keep in mind the example of the sunburnt person.It may help us understand better."
I needed to hear this.I not only want to tell my truth but convince you that there is no other.If your reaction is not what I want,I can sulk and cop a resentment real fast.This not only applies here but in all situations.It's definitely something I need to work on.I know when I was listing my character defects in Step 6,"Needing To Be Right" was at the top of the list.LOL...I may need to go back and look at that.
How about you guys? What are your thoughts on this?
Good post Tim...of course.
Ahh it's Christmas time and tons of family around (at least more than usual) My family is full of addicts and alcoholics myself included. I just happen to be in recovery. My sister is on again off again and my sister in law is Waaaay out there. Watching her be "f***ed up" yesterday was too much. She stoped by so I could help her download songs on an MP3 player she got one of her kids. Otherwise I don't see her (because she is in active addiction) She was one of my best friends when we were both using. I was so disgusted watching her she was awful. But to the point. She has precieved injustices throughout the family that she will not let go. It is good to hear that post to remind me she is just not well. At some point in my life I would have been right along with her wineing up a storm and adding to all the little things she feels outraged by. Right up to the point that she thinks my own sister hogs my mom. Just wants her all to herself. ???? Sound insane for a 33 year old. Thank you for your post Tim. Just in time for the family dinner tonight. I will keep in mind those who are sunburnt. Merry Christmas.
Love,
Jane
Ahh it's Christmas time and tons of family around (at least more than usual) My family is full of addicts and alcoholics myself included. I just happen to be in recovery. My sister is on again off again and my sister in law is Waaaay out there. Watching her be "f***ed up" yesterday was too much. She stoped by so I could help her download songs on an MP3 player she got one of her kids. Otherwise I don't see her (because she is in active addiction) She was one of my best friends when we were both using. I was so disgusted watching her she was awful. But to the point. She has precieved injustices throughout the family that she will not let go. It is good to hear that post to remind me she is just not well. At some point in my life I would have been right along with her wineing up a storm and adding to all the little things she feels outraged by. Right up to the point that she thinks my own sister hogs my mom. Just wants her all to herself. ???? Sound insane for a 33 year old. Thank you for your post Tim. Just in time for the family dinner tonight. I will keep in mind those who are sunburnt. Merry Christmas.
Love,
Jane
Hang in there Jane.It's one day out of your life.You are probably doing a lot better than you think.Do what you need to and leave.Give yourself a lot of credit for not bailing.That takes courage.
No,it's not pretty watching people you love kill themselves.The only saving grace is that you are clean and sober.Guess who they will call on first when it's time?
No,it's not pretty watching people you love kill themselves.The only saving grace is that you are clean and sober.Guess who they will call on first when it's time?
Nice post Tim. I get it, boy do I get it. I have often felt like one raw nerve ending. Today, when I am restless, irritable and discontent it usually has more to do with me than you. Happy Holidays, my friend.
~Rachel
~Rachel
It's like peeling back the layers of an onion. The more we know, the better we can do. Thank you so much Tim for bringing stuff like this to light. Am I restless and discontent? Of course, when I don't work on me. When I do, I am serene and I don't let others take my inventory, mainly because it's none of my business what they think or say. I can only be accountable to me.
Thank you again dear friend and have a very Merry Christmas.
Lisa
Thank you again dear friend and have a very Merry Christmas.
Lisa
