I Am An Emotional Wreck!

Pain Pills
1
Hey everyone it's day 13 for me!And I keep thinking that I never wanna go through this ever again I mean never my life is in so much shambles it's sad that I neglected my responsiblities for such a long time I am emberassed and so upset about it from bills to friendships and family ties that I just simply did not care about while I was using.You think to youreself if I stop I will be so happy such a burden will be lifted but at the same time realitly sets in and all you have neglected while you were using is now waithing to be dealt with how do I cope?Please your support and advice is needed and wanted cuz right now I AM AN EMOTIONAL WRECK!!!!
2
I feel the same way but you cant take the whole would on your shoulders just work on the most important things first and the rest will work its self out I know its hard but try not to panic and chip at it alittle at a time but most important stay clean or it will all get worse remember that always you will be fine
3
Say this...
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

You'll be ok, sweetie. All those things will work themselves out in time. Try not to think about them now. Just work on staying clean. I'm sure there's some medical reason that I don't know about but in early recovery our emotions are way out of whack. Everything is blown way out of proportion. Give yourself time to heal before you start dealing with that life crap.
4
Today is the only day you have.Everything else is too overwhelming.Getting clean is what you have to focus on.We have all f***ed up.Its the life of an addict and at this moment you cannot fix it.Its a done deal.Getting through this day is your only task.The body will heal, the mind will follow.
You will have the opportunity to make ammends later in your sobriety.It will not be today.You are not a bad person trying to get good.You are a sick person trying to get well.There will be things that you will never be able to repair.Thats where the trust of a power greater than yourself will come in.
All you have to do today are the necessary things to keep you away from using.What are those for you?...........the first one is not wallowing in self recrimination.It may be as simple as eating a healthy breakfast and taking a walk.Your mind is racing right now.Its a physiological happening of the brain.Its screaming for dope.Keep as busy as you can.
People looked at me that first week as if they were witnessing a madman.I was talking to myself,in tears one minute,panic,sweating whatever.
You are a wreak and it perfectly fine.Be one.Tomorrow you might be less of one.
5
Detox seems to make most of us complete emotional wrecks!!!
I assume it is cause we numbed ourselves for so long and now those emotions all come out at once when the drugs are no longer there to supress them ....

Have you been to NA or AA meetings??
Even if you just go & only listen, they can help SOOOO much!!
I always feel 100 x better after a meeting!!
I tried a few before I found a group that I really like a lot.
Now I'm working the steps and finding out many things about myself that I had kept bottled up for too long. Learning how to express myself, be honest with myself & others, and most importantly I have tools I need to STAY clean!!


6
WHD...when I hit the 2 week mark I was feeling pretty strong and
then BAM...panic attacks, anxiety, gloom and doom thoughts started
taking over..Just remember it is a normal part of the process..
It will pass..You will feel better..Take walks...hot baths...
You can do this ..Hang in there..

Doug
7
Well you are thinking about all you neglected in your life. We all have missed out on so much from our using. But think about it this way. You are in your 20's, I think that is what I read somewhere. So, you have your whole 30's to live a clean life and do things right now. I'm 39 years old. I lost my 20's and my 30's from using. So, count your blessings you caught this now and didn't have to go through another whole decade of screwing up your life.
Things will get better for you if you keep doing the next right thing. You have a good chance of having a long happy life yet. Hang in there.

Love,
Liz
8
Thank you all for your positive messages you brighten my day.and make me feel so much better.I feel a little stronger today but not fully the morning is always the worst for me cuz I guess my mind and body is waiting for that rush but god damn it I'm not going to give that rush today tommorow and hopefully never.PLEASE EVERYONE POST YOUR SUPPORT CUZ IT HELPS ME OUT OF MY WORST OF MOODS!!!!
9
NOTHING is as important as the fact that you're not using anymore! Just take one day at a time and thank God you're alive. With my son's bills (he had a whole table top full of them), I found out the companies were happy to get it little by little rather than not at all. I just told them that he had been suffering with depression (truth but not the whole truth) and unable to work for quite some time, but he WANTED to pay them off but could only do it a little at a time. They were very understanding. Congratulations on 13 days. I'm proud of you!

God bless!
Susan
10
Hey Girl,

I remember how tough those first few weeks were. I had a nasty o.c. habit as well. My experience is that it takes a little bit longer to get feeling well. I had goosebumps on my goosebumps for a few weeks. Just try to remember what you felt like yesterday, a week ago, 2 weeks ago. It's incremental. It gets better all the time, but it takes a bit to reach normal whatever that is. Lots of good advice here. Be good to yourself right now. Those problems aren't going anywhere. They'll be there when your better prepared to take them on. And they'll look more realistic. Keep eating, get outside and move a bit. Take a walk, watch something that will make you laugh. Keep posting. You've come so far. Not sticking this is out of the question! We're with you, Beck
11
I felt so absolutely horrible starting last night. ALL I wanted was some relief from the emotional pain. I went for a hike in the full moon...not much help, but a little. I slept kind of poorly and woke up just MISERABLE like I wanted to die...so who cares if I use and die? I kept thinking I may try to use something, but I didn't even know what to use..I had used so many drugs alcohol, nitrous, nubain, herion, oxy, talwin, pot, etc. I went for a really long strenuous hike and felt worse still...cried and cried...called people who care about me...they couldn't do much...finally I fell asleep from just exhaustion and woke up and feel like 50% better...maybe 55.8% better! If I would have used then where would I be. I am feeling and dealing with issues and emotions that I used all these drugs to deal with, so it's part of the deal, to learn how to feel bad and ride it out and deal with it as best we can. The moods will ALWAYS change even though they don't feel like it when you are in the middle of it. I am 109 days sober and there are times I am just so very proud of that alone. I was never really proud to be an addict, just had that wierd "I have a secret from the world" feeling that was just not so positive, but it did occupy much of my time, thoughts, money, etc. Post here how you feel. It helped me get through the very worst times and if there's some things you'd rather not post you can find someone from here to e-mail more personal stuff. That's what I did today and it helped me start to unravel this emotional ball that I caught last night. Good luck. CAS.
12
It's like starting life over again...I spent all my savings on drugs and drug-related missed work, etc.....here I am, 23 days later, still have Lupus, still have some pain, and no $$$$. I can't change the past, but I can imagine how life would be if i were still using....looking for pills, paying too much, the shame, worrying, wd's......I am not going there again. Drug use lead to death ultimately...fast or slow....death. So here you are....sober and terrified...you have a lot of support here, and you can go to meetings.It WILL get better, because you are doing the right thing.I still don't feel 100%, but it took me 8 month to get so screwed up...it may take 8 months to feel better. But I am not ashamed of my life tody...I walk taller and stand proud....that feels great. No secrets and lies anymore. If you need help, we are here for you...things will get better...by next year, your whole life may change,who knows? Take care, Sharonn