I Am An Enabler In Need Of Help

Families / Partners of Addicts
1
My grandson has been using heroin on and off since he was 16. He is now 31 yr. He was in jail for most of the last 8 years for things he did when he was a teenager and using drugs. He finished his sentence a little over a year ago and I have been helping him to get back on his feet and turn his life around. I have given him a lot of money, too much for the financial position i am in. I just found out he has been lying to me about a lot of things. I thought he was on suboxone but now I am not so sure. I cannot believe anything he tells me now and I have to stop giving him money. He was living in a condo I own but he has caused me a lot of trouble there. I have to kick him out and stop giving him any money. The problem is once I get over my anger with him I am afraid I will break down and start helping him again. I realize now that all the help I have given him has not helped him at all. He is still on drugs (suboxone) and cannot seem to hold a job. He does not seem to have any desire to get off suboxone and does not want to go to a detox or get into a drug program. I love him so much and I want to see him well so bad but I cannot do it for him. Any advice will be welcome.
2
I know it doesn't seem like it, but you are helping him by not helping him. I am fairly new to all of this, but I am trying to learn how not to enable my daughter. I give her food, but not money. I would not let her come home until she agreed to get help. She is in an inpatient rehab now. I am at peace at the moment, but it is up to her to help herself. I will support her with love but not financially.
3
Alcoholics and addicts have to hit bottom before they surrender and become teachable.

AA's "Daily Reflection" describes the necessity to hit bottom ....

http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/daily...=2016&m=01&d=16

If we enable and keep them from hitting bottom (taking responsibility) they continue to suffer.

All the best.

Bob R