This is my 1st time on any message board. I am trying to find some help for my Pot addiction. I am really worried because I can't seem to control my cravings. The worst part now is that, I also think I am becoming an alcoholic because if I can't hook up weed, I go and buy a bottle or a 12 pack of Bud.
I am at a lost and I am so tired of this crap controlling my life and my finances. I really hate the girl who introduced me to pot back in the day because I wish it would have never entered my life!
NY
hi there ny blade. i'm a ny'er too.
you have come to the right place. i'm usually not the one welcoming folks... i'm only 32 days clean myself. but i suggest you read back on the old posts. you will see other peoples troubles just like your own, and maybe some suggestions, thoughts to help you. read about 'scared time' it helped me.
read about how many of us worked thru the cravings and still are. to come out to the other side and realize life is better without weed. it's harder but better and simplier in many ways.....
good luck.... read.
other folks will make suggestions too.
just know you are not alone and here you are safe.
-jo
you have come to the right place. i'm usually not the one welcoming folks... i'm only 32 days clean myself. but i suggest you read back on the old posts. you will see other peoples troubles just like your own, and maybe some suggestions, thoughts to help you. read about 'scared time' it helped me.
read about how many of us worked thru the cravings and still are. to come out to the other side and realize life is better without weed. it's harder but better and simplier in many ways.....
good luck.... read.
other folks will make suggestions too.
just know you are not alone and here you are safe.
-jo
I have to regain my life back. I am only 33 and I have a fantastic life. So far, everything I have ever wanted to do, I am doing. Unfortunately, the addictions that I have do not let me fully take advantage of all my blessings. I am so mad right now because I hate the fact that as I write this, I had just finished smoking a joint about 30 minutes ago. I swore it was my last joint, but I say that almost every night and then the next day I am faced with the junk all over again.
See my situation is unique, I am an graphic artist and a musician. When I am in the studio working on something I usually light up with my producer. Lately thoe he says he has quit so for the last 3 sessions, we did not smoke. Untill my other band mates showed up. My producer did not light up, but I did. And then at my regular job, everyone smokes cigarrettes (which I hate) and weed. It's a relaxed atmosphere so if we want we can light up. So other people at the office take advantage of it and I ofcourse join in the fun.
So I am in the center of the storm every single day. The strange truth is that I know I can take control of my cravings and say no. I've done it several times and have managed to get clean for about 2-3 months but then I fall down again. Which is what has happened now. I was doing so good. I had started working out with a trainer, lost over 40lbs and even shot a video with a famous singer this past October. But now I started the habbit up again and everything seems like a dream. Like if I never really did that. I try to remember where did I find the strength to get better? I have to find that strength again and I want to heal.
NY
See my situation is unique, I am an graphic artist and a musician. When I am in the studio working on something I usually light up with my producer. Lately thoe he says he has quit so for the last 3 sessions, we did not smoke. Untill my other band mates showed up. My producer did not light up, but I did. And then at my regular job, everyone smokes cigarrettes (which I hate) and weed. It's a relaxed atmosphere so if we want we can light up. So other people at the office take advantage of it and I ofcourse join in the fun.
So I am in the center of the storm every single day. The strange truth is that I know I can take control of my cravings and say no. I've done it several times and have managed to get clean for about 2-3 months but then I fall down again. Which is what has happened now. I was doing so good. I had started working out with a trainer, lost over 40lbs and even shot a video with a famous singer this past October. But now I started the habbit up again and everything seems like a dream. Like if I never really did that. I try to remember where did I find the strength to get better? I have to find that strength again and I want to heal.
NY
your post is gives me chills because it reminds me exactly of myself. I consider myself to have an addictive personality. It has at times been my greatest asset because I often get fixated on things, like making myself successful or good at something. But it also caused some trouble. I loved pot since my first toke in 1976. Pot is a seductive drug for many, because really it ain't all that bad. The harmful physical effects are minimal. At times it seems like it actually is a benefit, because it can motivate me and make me feel like doing something. And then, as you mentioned there are seemingly positive social aspects to it. It's "good fun" to hang out with some sneaky stoners and enjoy ourselves, behind closed doors.
And maybe for those that can light up every so often, it is okay. But for me it isn't. I read your post and it reminds me so much of myself. I am a heavy frequent smoker, I only work on MWF, when it is difficult to smoke. But the other 4 days I end up smoking upon awakening to the end of the day.
After a long dry period from age 23 to about 33 from alcohol and pot, I ended up lighting up again, and now for the last 14 years I have been on and off, usually I am able to stay of a year or two, then it calls me back again. In the beginning I'm happy to be smoking again and think it is actually helping my life and motivating me. Then within a few months my soul and my conscience tells me I am not doing the best thing for my life.
I am now 19 days straight and found this forum like you did. At least you recognize that it is a problem in your life. That's a good start. You are in touch with your soul and your conscience.
You are an artist, (not me, i'm a analytical numbers guy), and you recognize expression. Who knows for sure why we are put here on this earth, and what is the meaning of life? But i do know it has something to do with the expression of the soul that we are born with. When you are expressing your soul and living right you feel right, when you aren't taking care of yourself and your soul and living up to your potential hopefully you have the honesty to accept that.
Maybe you are like me. After a while, I feel and know that pot is not helping me to live my life better, but it is getting in the way of how I really should be. Instead of accentuating my senses it is dulling them. Then there is that monkey on the back. For me, I use a one-hitter and tiny clean bottle, it is like my little baby bottle in my pocket that i roll around. In reality it is the devil, giving me the promise to take away some of the pain of living, but in return I have to pay the toll. Pay the toll of being an addict.
I have it beat right now, but god help me, I don't know how long it will last, and I am going to try to fight and beat the devil in me. Hopefully sometimes soon enough you will be like me have have a few weeks straight and your head will be clear, it is a great feeling and my life is progressing at godspeed these last three weeks.
First you have to get off the stuff. There has come a point where I can't stop but I pray that the compulsion will be removed. That is a good start. Pray to yourself or a higher power that sometimes soon, the compulsion will be removed. There are unseen forces in this universe that work for our good, try to tap into them
For me the answer came in a few incidents where I acted "carelessly", (pot is called the careless drug by some addiction professionals - read The Selfish Mind.) That really woke me up and put the fear in me. This kind of thing has happened before. Enough that I took all my stuff and moved it a few miles away and hit it in the bush. (i live in the Poconos).
To stay straight you have to replace your bad habits with good ones. You have to literally brainwash yourself. Your brain and your environment has been telling you repeatedly that it is okay, everyone does it, it makes you better - but your deep conscience and soul knows the truth!
Your ability to stay straight will probably depend on the energy you put into working on your brain, and turning it so it can see the truth. But you have to give it a chance and detox off the stuff. It takes at least a few weeks. Fortunately our drug is not the worst to get off of, the physical withdrawal is more of a mental craving rather than every cell in your body screaming for it, look at the other board and see what those poor blokes go through.
I have gotten a few books on addiction and am reading them, I am on this board a few times per day, I also am an alcoholic(but recovered 24 years), so I am going to a few AA meetings. In NY there are for sure to have Marijuana Anonymous meetings. Maybe it will help to keep a diary, that is what this is for me. (Sorry to make everyone read all this text , but hopefully writing this will help me.) Also, you may have to change people, places and things. It is tough to work in an environment where people are lighting up around you all the time, but it can be done. If you are living right. But, I am sure in your industry there are others that have quit and are able to continue to work.
I have always believed in God and a higher power, but I don't really know who it is. But i do know, if we try to accept that power, often coincidences and events will occur in our life to lead us.
good luck. talk to ya! - the hardcharger.
And maybe for those that can light up every so often, it is okay. But for me it isn't. I read your post and it reminds me so much of myself. I am a heavy frequent smoker, I only work on MWF, when it is difficult to smoke. But the other 4 days I end up smoking upon awakening to the end of the day.
After a long dry period from age 23 to about 33 from alcohol and pot, I ended up lighting up again, and now for the last 14 years I have been on and off, usually I am able to stay of a year or two, then it calls me back again. In the beginning I'm happy to be smoking again and think it is actually helping my life and motivating me. Then within a few months my soul and my conscience tells me I am not doing the best thing for my life.
I am now 19 days straight and found this forum like you did. At least you recognize that it is a problem in your life. That's a good start. You are in touch with your soul and your conscience.
You are an artist, (not me, i'm a analytical numbers guy), and you recognize expression. Who knows for sure why we are put here on this earth, and what is the meaning of life? But i do know it has something to do with the expression of the soul that we are born with. When you are expressing your soul and living right you feel right, when you aren't taking care of yourself and your soul and living up to your potential hopefully you have the honesty to accept that.
Maybe you are like me. After a while, I feel and know that pot is not helping me to live my life better, but it is getting in the way of how I really should be. Instead of accentuating my senses it is dulling them. Then there is that monkey on the back. For me, I use a one-hitter and tiny clean bottle, it is like my little baby bottle in my pocket that i roll around. In reality it is the devil, giving me the promise to take away some of the pain of living, but in return I have to pay the toll. Pay the toll of being an addict.
I have it beat right now, but god help me, I don't know how long it will last, and I am going to try to fight and beat the devil in me. Hopefully sometimes soon enough you will be like me have have a few weeks straight and your head will be clear, it is a great feeling and my life is progressing at godspeed these last three weeks.
First you have to get off the stuff. There has come a point where I can't stop but I pray that the compulsion will be removed. That is a good start. Pray to yourself or a higher power that sometimes soon, the compulsion will be removed. There are unseen forces in this universe that work for our good, try to tap into them
For me the answer came in a few incidents where I acted "carelessly", (pot is called the careless drug by some addiction professionals - read The Selfish Mind.) That really woke me up and put the fear in me. This kind of thing has happened before. Enough that I took all my stuff and moved it a few miles away and hit it in the bush. (i live in the Poconos).
To stay straight you have to replace your bad habits with good ones. You have to literally brainwash yourself. Your brain and your environment has been telling you repeatedly that it is okay, everyone does it, it makes you better - but your deep conscience and soul knows the truth!
Your ability to stay straight will probably depend on the energy you put into working on your brain, and turning it so it can see the truth. But you have to give it a chance and detox off the stuff. It takes at least a few weeks. Fortunately our drug is not the worst to get off of, the physical withdrawal is more of a mental craving rather than every cell in your body screaming for it, look at the other board and see what those poor blokes go through.
I have gotten a few books on addiction and am reading them, I am on this board a few times per day, I also am an alcoholic(but recovered 24 years), so I am going to a few AA meetings. In NY there are for sure to have Marijuana Anonymous meetings. Maybe it will help to keep a diary, that is what this is for me. (Sorry to make everyone read all this text , but hopefully writing this will help me.) Also, you may have to change people, places and things. It is tough to work in an environment where people are lighting up around you all the time, but it can be done. If you are living right. But, I am sure in your industry there are others that have quit and are able to continue to work.
I have always believed in God and a higher power, but I don't really know who it is. But i do know, if we try to accept that power, often coincidences and events will occur in our life to lead us.
good luck. talk to ya! - the hardcharger.
a few more things then i'm done. The last few months i noticed myself more and more, while having a conversation, stopping and saying,"now what was I talking about". now that can't be good.
we are all different and I know exercise is not for everyone, but I find exercise to be a very good replacement. although i exercise regularly even on pot, (triathlons, skiing etc.). these last few weeks i have had a lot of anxiety and there can absolutely be a harsh mental withdrawal from pot. intense cravings etc. you know. but when i go out and sweat,(and i don't really go for long workouts), it puts my mind in a different place and a different mood.(wife does not like all this typing, dirty looks). when i come back i feel much better, it really works for me. i try to go for at least a 10-15 min run everyday. also, i do yoga too and deep breathing and that helps, but nothing is better than sweating.
we are all different and I know exercise is not for everyone, but I find exercise to be a very good replacement. although i exercise regularly even on pot, (triathlons, skiing etc.). these last few weeks i have had a lot of anxiety and there can absolutely be a harsh mental withdrawal from pot. intense cravings etc. you know. but when i go out and sweat,(and i don't really go for long workouts), it puts my mind in a different place and a different mood.(wife does not like all this typing, dirty looks). when i come back i feel much better, it really works for me. i try to go for at least a 10-15 min run everyday. also, i do yoga too and deep breathing and that helps, but nothing is better than sweating.
hc-
lol. Did you read those posts a way back about how when you are getting clean exercising causes you to burn the fat cells where the THC is being stored? Ok you excersise all the time so maybe I'm just whistlin in the wind but it might be something to consider.
jojo- (&aea)
since you are both creative types and city people looks like this buds for you!
(thats an american beer commercial for our Canaidan and overseas friends.
lol. Did you read those posts a way back about how when you are getting clean exercising causes you to burn the fat cells where the THC is being stored? Ok you excersise all the time so maybe I'm just whistlin in the wind but it might be something to consider.
jojo- (&aea)
since you are both creative types and city people looks like this buds for you!
(thats an american beer commercial for our Canaidan and overseas friends.
>.....exercising causes you to burn the fat cells where the THC is being stored?
sweeeet
sweeeet
Thank you so much for your kind words. I just woke up and this is the 1st site that I have been on today. My morning craving is here but I have no weed. ( smoked it all last night) My goal today is to try to stay clean. It will be hard for me because there will be certain people at the office today and ofcourse they will light up. I have become extremely weak lately because I have given myself the same speech over and over. But if I could just make it through today, without a puff or a beer, it would be a blessing.
NY
NY
hippie can you talk to this guy about sacred time etc???? dude to dude....
NY Blade, maybe take deep breaths in through the nose out through the mouth, when the waves hit you as they probably will today. It's simple, but it helped me in those earlier days. Just remembering to breathe. The info regarding cravings and urges on the smartrecovery.org site was good to read too. Good luck to you. When in doubt, write it out. We're here.
WW
WW
I did it! today I was able to say "NO to my co-workers and to my dealer. This is huge news. Thank you all for your help and support. I am asking for strength to get my life back and I have faith that I will.
NY
NY
Right on ! "The future is so bright, you gotta wear shades ! " - Lyrics to some song I like. LOL
nyb- you took a huge step today. saying no is half the battle. esp. it seems in your case where you smoke with your work mates. but hey they aren't reclaiming their lives! keep going. i'm in the midst of a few million things here, i'll write more later. your day 1..... congrats!
-jo
-jo
nyb- hi again, as a fellow new yorker i feel it important to 'talk' with you. a lonely city when you get down to it huh? like i said before you have taken the biggest step, saying no to friends, collegues. i recently did that myself and it was they were clean too so it was cool. though 99.9% of the time i smoke(d) alone so it was me i had to deal with.
i understand how it is hard to be 'creative' whether in graphic arts or music when you have lost your 'muse'....
i too work in a creative field and it's been difficult though i find if i just relax and let it come, it does..... for years i used creativity as a justifiable reason to stay stoned. now after finishing a mega project where my husband who know nothing of this addiction and withdrawl said, "wow you made s**t shine!" really the materials i had were so bad and it was so tedious and i was so afraid and i think i did well. an no one is more amazed than me.
it can be done.
i chose to do it alone AND with the help of this board. i am/was a stoner in private with a rep. business life, community life and a husband who is buddhist and does not believe in drugs. i am also a mom, i have a lot to lose. he is a musician and plays in a rock bank.... they's been together for 25 years and agreed at the beginning that drugs wouldn't help them so they are all clean with a few beers now and again. so this has been my secret and one i'm not proud of... but nonetheless.
first i wonder if you have any friends you can turn to for support and/or understanding. that helps.
second, though i am not an advocate of aa/na or marijuana annon. but if you can deal with it, i suggest that you find a mj meeting. they have several in the city and they are at night (only) so that may give you some comradarie and insight and strength and keep you honest, give you tools, new friends and slogans:)
third, i don't know how much will-power you have but if you do i strongly recommend a concept/method developed by our dear 'hippienerd' called 'sacred time' please look back on old posts under 'sared time' basically it is where you select times in the day when you chose to either get high or not and stick to it. i did it this way and it helped me wean myself down off the stuff. took some time but so well worth it. i had tried the cold turkey thing too many times and it made me so anxious i always ran back. this time i really think i'm done. i feel fine except i can't think straight. minor issue lol.
i hope some of this helps. i don't think hippienerd is posting for a few days. he has good insight, though i think he thinks i can relate to you better because of the city and the creative stuff. but when all is said and done i truly believe the creativity is IN us. we have been using the weed to help enhance the process.
questions, thoughts.... post them, we are here to help. we are all in this together and as i said last night take comfort in the fact that you are not alone here.
keep posting. once you get past the first few days you'll get on a good roll..... for the first time ever i don't want to go back.
good luck nyblade!
-jo
i understand how it is hard to be 'creative' whether in graphic arts or music when you have lost your 'muse'....
i too work in a creative field and it's been difficult though i find if i just relax and let it come, it does..... for years i used creativity as a justifiable reason to stay stoned. now after finishing a mega project where my husband who know nothing of this addiction and withdrawl said, "wow you made s**t shine!" really the materials i had were so bad and it was so tedious and i was so afraid and i think i did well. an no one is more amazed than me.
it can be done.
i chose to do it alone AND with the help of this board. i am/was a stoner in private with a rep. business life, community life and a husband who is buddhist and does not believe in drugs. i am also a mom, i have a lot to lose. he is a musician and plays in a rock bank.... they's been together for 25 years and agreed at the beginning that drugs wouldn't help them so they are all clean with a few beers now and again. so this has been my secret and one i'm not proud of... but nonetheless.
first i wonder if you have any friends you can turn to for support and/or understanding. that helps.
second, though i am not an advocate of aa/na or marijuana annon. but if you can deal with it, i suggest that you find a mj meeting. they have several in the city and they are at night (only) so that may give you some comradarie and insight and strength and keep you honest, give you tools, new friends and slogans:)
third, i don't know how much will-power you have but if you do i strongly recommend a concept/method developed by our dear 'hippienerd' called 'sacred time' please look back on old posts under 'sared time' basically it is where you select times in the day when you chose to either get high or not and stick to it. i did it this way and it helped me wean myself down off the stuff. took some time but so well worth it. i had tried the cold turkey thing too many times and it made me so anxious i always ran back. this time i really think i'm done. i feel fine except i can't think straight. minor issue lol.
i hope some of this helps. i don't think hippienerd is posting for a few days. he has good insight, though i think he thinks i can relate to you better because of the city and the creative stuff. but when all is said and done i truly believe the creativity is IN us. we have been using the weed to help enhance the process.
questions, thoughts.... post them, we are here to help. we are all in this together and as i said last night take comfort in the fact that you are not alone here.
keep posting. once you get past the first few days you'll get on a good roll..... for the first time ever i don't want to go back.
good luck nyblade!
-jo
This is my 1st post to a message board about this so hear it goes...
I am still a "pothead" and i am desperately trying to quit. I dont know how to or where to go.Yes i know " just put down the pipe" well i have done that and now i cant stop craving it.ALL of my neighbors do it and my b/f is quitting with me. I know there is help out there but i dont know where to look or turn. I am also 83 days clean from meth as well. My goal is to be completly clean from the meth, weed, and cigarettes. THe hardest thing is that ALL of my friends, and most of my familydo weed, and like i said all my neighbors as well. I am looking for new friends that know what im going through and dont use as well.I hope i find that hear, cuz i dont know what else to do.
any suggestions?
~amber~
I am still a "pothead" and i am desperately trying to quit. I dont know how to or where to go.Yes i know " just put down the pipe" well i have done that and now i cant stop craving it.ALL of my neighbors do it and my b/f is quitting with me. I know there is help out there but i dont know where to look or turn. I am also 83 days clean from meth as well. My goal is to be completly clean from the meth, weed, and cigarettes. THe hardest thing is that ALL of my friends, and most of my familydo weed, and like i said all my neighbors as well. I am looking for new friends that know what im going through and dont use as well.I hope i find that hear, cuz i dont know what else to do.
any suggestions?
~amber~
amber ...welcome to the board, there are lots of ideas and suggestions on this site.
i would advise you to browse thru some old post to get some ideas, and use this as support, as well as possible outside counseling or support groups.
also there are other websites such as marijuana anonom., smart recovery, NA/AA, etc. that can give you a wealth of information.
first get educated, then find what works for you. know that you cannot do it completely alone, even if it requires cyber friends, you have to make yourself accountable to get clean because you care enough about yourself to do so.
keep posting.
i would advise you to browse thru some old post to get some ideas, and use this as support, as well as possible outside counseling or support groups.
also there are other websites such as marijuana anonom., smart recovery, NA/AA, etc. that can give you a wealth of information.
first get educated, then find what works for you. know that you cannot do it completely alone, even if it requires cyber friends, you have to make yourself accountable to get clean because you care enough about yourself to do so.
keep posting.
thank jamv. i made a mistake in my last post, it probly dont matter to anyone ( but it does to me) , but i am 86 days clean from meth now and 4 days clean from weed. i am doing good but the weed cravings are deffinately there still. i will look into the other sites that u mentioned.
thank you,
~amber~
thank you,
~amber~
good luck amber there are lots of us in the same boat.
congrats on 4 days!
thank you i have 5 today, hehe and then i also have 86 on my meth addiction
WOOHOO GO ME!! LOL.
Thank You,
WOOHOO GO ME!! LOL.
Thank You,
