yesterday I was so enthused ! today is a different story. At around dark last evening I started to feel like I made a wrong decision. I've been up since 4 am. I am very nervous because i am travelling by bus on a 2 hr ride to meet my sponser. There isn't any AA where I live. but i met him through telephone. next week i will be going to an an addiction centre for councilling. This will be my 5th day to be sober. I have went one or two before but not this far. One minute I am glad I made the choices I have made to get clean. the next I feel nervous and scared and tell myself maybe I wasnt so BAD as everyone made me out to be. sometimes I wish I never took this route. or this HUGE commitment. did you guys feel like that? Am I going in denial again?I feel sooooooooo confused right now. The things that have happened to me in less than a week is overwhelming and confusing. I feel happy one hour and the next I can be a total wreck.and I am thinking if i can go 5 days without it maybe It wasnt a problem like everyone thought. and now I will never be able to have another drink because I made this HUGE commiment to everyone .Is there anyone who can give me some advice?
OMG Pirate - you have got a full scale committee going on in your head right now don't you?
I feel for you - boy have I been there a million times. My ex-sponsor calls it "the drunken monkey on your shoulder"
Its sitting there whispering a bunch of total BS in you ear and you have been listening to it for years - now you are getting sober, and guess what that drunken monkey is scared! yep scared his best pal - drunken pirate is going to change, grow up and kick him to the kerb.
so that little monkey will say ANYTHING to get you to go back and have another drinking party with him.
c'mon pirate do you really want to spend your life ruled by what a drunken monkey is telling you to do?
OK - so that hopeuflly made you laugh a little bit - but there's a serious message there Pirate.
It is your addiction talking - the AA big book describes our addiction as "cunning, baffling and powerful"
And that is exactly what it is.
Pirate try and rid your self of this notion that you have made a HUGE committment as you put it. All you have to do is stay sober one day at a time. Its hard not to future trip I know - just keep telling yourself to focus on today - just stay sober today and let tomorrow take care of itself.
Pirate its almost 9:30pm where I am and I'm sitting here sipping a glass of water and its weird I tasted it. I had forgotten that water has a taste - its kind of nice too. Now I gotta go feed my psycho cat before he eats my arm off.
you hang in there pirate.
Idg.
I feel for you - boy have I been there a million times. My ex-sponsor calls it "the drunken monkey on your shoulder"
Its sitting there whispering a bunch of total BS in you ear and you have been listening to it for years - now you are getting sober, and guess what that drunken monkey is scared! yep scared his best pal - drunken pirate is going to change, grow up and kick him to the kerb.
so that little monkey will say ANYTHING to get you to go back and have another drinking party with him.
c'mon pirate do you really want to spend your life ruled by what a drunken monkey is telling you to do?
OK - so that hopeuflly made you laugh a little bit - but there's a serious message there Pirate.
It is your addiction talking - the AA big book describes our addiction as "cunning, baffling and powerful"
And that is exactly what it is.
Pirate try and rid your self of this notion that you have made a HUGE committment as you put it. All you have to do is stay sober one day at a time. Its hard not to future trip I know - just keep telling yourself to focus on today - just stay sober today and let tomorrow take care of itself.
Pirate its almost 9:30pm where I am and I'm sitting here sipping a glass of water and its weird I tasted it. I had forgotten that water has a taste - its kind of nice too. Now I gotta go feed my psycho cat before he eats my arm off.
you hang in there pirate.
Idg.
Hi There
its your mind tricking you dont listen go and meet your sponsor have a good chat about everything.
If you pick up you will only feel dissapointed in yourself .
we cant listen to that voice in our heads that says it will be ok. you know deep down it wont be but if you have any doubts and you want more pain go ahead.
I promise you it will only get worse if you carry on .I have done it many times and listened to those voices.
You dont ever have to feel like s*** again in the pit of your stomache. good luck x
its your mind tricking you dont listen go and meet your sponsor have a good chat about everything.
If you pick up you will only feel dissapointed in yourself .
we cant listen to that voice in our heads that says it will be ok. you know deep down it wont be but if you have any doubts and you want more pain go ahead.
I promise you it will only get worse if you carry on .I have done it many times and listened to those voices.
You dont ever have to feel like s*** again in the pit of your stomache. good luck x
BTW I think the fact that you are willing to go to lengths like take a 2 hour trip to meet an AA sponsor shows that you deep in your heart really want a solution to this problem.
Having doubts about making, the decision to be sober is very common in the beginning. The hardest part for me was trying not to let the outside influences get in my way i.e.: family, friends, co-workers, the adds on TV, you name it. It seemed like every word that I heard for the first 7 days was associated with alcohol and drinking. It does get better, not easier, but better. This is a hard thing to do on your own, so meeting your sponsor will give you strength. You have the ability to make it because you initiated the actions in quest sobriety. Stay strong.
Just for today, don't drink. Maybe tomorrow but not today.
You're telling on yourself. That's a good thing. Embrace what everyone here contributes, take what you can use that's similar, and leave the rest. I wouldn't dare speak for someone else, but I will say that in my case, AA was the ONLY thing that has worked. I need the fellowship of AA, the faces that keep coming back, the peace that I've found there, and the steps.
Where do you live?
Where do you live?
Hi Pirate...
Idgie was spot on with her monkey story...When I first got sober, my disease would try any avenue to get me to pick up again...Hopefully, by the time you read this, you're back from meeting with your sponsor...Do you have a Big Book? I know for me, reading the first 164 pages relieved alot of my doubts and then fears of being an alcoholic...
Hang in there, my friend and focus on not taking a drink today. Fear of change would get my committee in my head going crazy, still does today but I've picked up tools to help get through those times like reading the Big Book, talking to other alcoholics/sponsor about what's going through my head, working the steps, and a lot of prayer to my HP, God....
Check in when you get back from your trip...
xoxo
Stacey
Idgie was spot on with her monkey story...When I first got sober, my disease would try any avenue to get me to pick up again...Hopefully, by the time you read this, you're back from meeting with your sponsor...Do you have a Big Book? I know for me, reading the first 164 pages relieved alot of my doubts and then fears of being an alcoholic...
Hang in there, my friend and focus on not taking a drink today. Fear of change would get my committee in my head going crazy, still does today but I've picked up tools to help get through those times like reading the Big Book, talking to other alcoholics/sponsor about what's going through my head, working the steps, and a lot of prayer to my HP, God....
Check in when you get back from your trip...
xoxo
Stacey
Gidday Pirate
Alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful...put that inside a head that is fearing life without its comfy then the real fear starts to surface and put that inside a head and then the real fear starts to whisper and then put that inside a head and the problem seems enormous.
Keep talking and posting, hand over to god the things that are too tough and keep storing the gratitude, talk to your sponsor and find others in Aa that you can relate too also get some female input as they can understand some problems that will surface and you will be at ease talking to another female about.
keep posting and good on ya
light and love Zac
Alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful...put that inside a head that is fearing life without its comfy then the real fear starts to surface and put that inside a head and then the real fear starts to whisper and then put that inside a head and the problem seems enormous.
Keep talking and posting, hand over to god the things that are too tough and keep storing the gratitude, talk to your sponsor and find others in Aa that you can relate too also get some female input as they can understand some problems that will surface and you will be at ease talking to another female about.
keep posting and good on ya
light and love Zac
How are you doing today?
Great responses here. Last night at the meeting it was suggested for newcomers especially that the first yr. of sobriety we would have to take it one hour and even one minute at a time somedays. Hand the flip flopping confusion addictive voice over to your HP quickly.
Today is day 55 for me. Yesterday I had a thought of drinking not a craving thank God I'm past that acute withdrawal stage. I was getting angry about something. I had to do a step one. Step one isn't just about alcohol for me it's about life. I have no power over certain people, places, time, or things. I asked God to help me and it passed.
Somebody on the PP board started a thread on future tripping some time ago.
This person suggested looking down at her feet to keep her in the moment. I've tried it couple of times and it helped me. Pirate you are doing this you are sober just for today. It's hard somedays to stay sober. But it's so much harder being drunk all the time. VWGirl's quote really has helped me out here it is " It's easier to stay sober then it is to get sober." Hope it helps you to.
Great responses here. Last night at the meeting it was suggested for newcomers especially that the first yr. of sobriety we would have to take it one hour and even one minute at a time somedays. Hand the flip flopping confusion addictive voice over to your HP quickly.
Today is day 55 for me. Yesterday I had a thought of drinking not a craving thank God I'm past that acute withdrawal stage. I was getting angry about something. I had to do a step one. Step one isn't just about alcohol for me it's about life. I have no power over certain people, places, time, or things. I asked God to help me and it passed.
Somebody on the PP board started a thread on future tripping some time ago.
This person suggested looking down at her feet to keep her in the moment. I've tried it couple of times and it helped me. Pirate you are doing this you are sober just for today. It's hard somedays to stay sober. But it's so much harder being drunk all the time. VWGirl's quote really has helped me out here it is " It's easier to stay sober then it is to get sober." Hope it helps you to.
